Final Tweet Of The Month

Well, this will be my last one. So it's appropriate it's a really, really good one:

*chef's kiss*

Honourable runner up award goes to this one:

Post Title Of The Month

The incomparable DumbJon nails this one so perfectly...

Quote Of The Month

Longrider on RNA vaccines and their ultimate uselessness: 

"This is why vaccinating a whole population when only a small proportion are actually seriously at risk is not only a waste of time, but potentially foolish as it risks reversing the evolutionary pressure on the more virulent strains.

There is nothing here that could not have been foreseen."

Post Of The Month

Bill Sticker on the futility of land wars in Asia...

"I'm not worried about what some politician is saying about me."

"That's not on my radar. What's on my radar is that this ill-thought out withdrawal has destroyed a country overnight and cost countless lives.'"

Whatever your feelings about Pen Farthing, he's not wrong about this, is he?

...it took six days for the paperwork to be completed. They immediately crated up the cats and dogs, put wives and children on a bus and headed in a convoy to the airport. It was a mission that few thought he'd pull off in a city that was falling apart as the Taliban roamed the streets with Kalashnikov assault rifles.

But Pen, who left the Royal Marines in 2009, has the commando spirit writ through him –and a marine never gives up. Miraculously, he negotiated passage for two truckloads of crated animals and a busload of Afghans through two Taliban checkpoints to the commander at the South Gate – only to be barred from entering.

And why? Not the vicious uncivilised Taliban, but the incompetent Western leaders. 

US President Joe Biden had changed the rules just three hours earlier only allowing those through with passports and visas to control the growing numbers inside the airport.

'We were inside, all of us inside with the right paperwork, but we were three hours too late. Biden had changed the rules.' He shakes his head. 'Three bloody hours – if they'd pulled their finger out and got the paperwork to us just a day before my staff would have been out with me.'

And what to do to try to prevent PR disaster for the British government? Go on the attack. And so they did. No, not against the Taliban, don't be silly:  

...the animals, albeit frightened, are healthy and will soon be released from quarantine, despite briefings from Whitehall sources that they are riddled with disease and may have to be put down.

'Whoever's saying that is talking a crock of crap,' says Pen, once again not mincing his words. 'One of the things we pride ourselves on at Nowzad [his animal shelter in Kabul] is every single animal is fully vaccinated for rabies, parvovirus, distemper, kennel cough, they're treated for fleas and ticks and dewormed.

'They're all neutered and spayed and the blood samples are sent to DEFRA to prove they've got the relevant antibodies for rabies.' 

We should test the civil servants briefing against him for that... 

The Justice System: Letting Victims Down Every Day

Mr Hewett and his cousin had had 'the terrible misfortune' to come across the defendants that night by the shops, Judge Michael Kay QC stated.

The boys had been drinking and smoking cannabis and following the exchange of words, wrongly perceived that they had been shown 'disrespect by the older men', which led to the attack.

The court heard that there was a 'significant degree of planning or premeditation' before the attack and that the stabbing was 'repeated and ferocious'. Judge Kay told Pollock that the attack on Mr Hewett was a 'brutal and savage attack' and concluded that he had 'inflicted a wound with an intention to kill.'

'The only view I have of you is that you are an extremely dangerous young man,' Judge Kay added.

If only there had been some warning of the danger he po...

Oh. 

The court heard that Pollock had a previous 'serious' conviction when he was aged 14, involving a similar crime. His previous conviction of wounding with intent of causing GBH involved a stabbing from behind.

He received a four-year detention sentence and was released a year prior to the murder offence. He remained on license at the time of the murder in February 2021.

What a pity the morons who freed this walking disaster waiting to happen aren't liable to share a place in the dock with him... 

They Fight Harder In The Media Than They Ever Did On The Battlefield...

Mr Farthing’s publicity campaign has angered the MoD because of the distraction it has provided from the ‘core mission’ of airlifting refugees.

The civil servants, that is, who are mustering their forces for a PR war. Not the UK troops. 

A defence source said: ‘This selfish charade has cost lives.’ Another source said the MoD’s help to evacuate animals meant ‘this is the first British Government explicitly committed to the idea of non-white people as equivalent to animals since the abolition of slavery.’

I'd put them above, frankly. As would many people. Far more than you'd care to admit. 

Yesterday, senior Tory MP and former soldier Tom Tugendhat issued a withering condemnation of the way MoD resources had been used for the animal evacuation.

Mr Tugendhat, who served in Afghanistan, revealed how his former interpreter, who is now stuck in Kabul, asked him: ‘Why is my five-year-old worth less than your dog?

‘I didn’t have an answer,’ he says.

I'll give you an answer. It's because your five-year-old may not grow up with gratitude in his heart, while the animals certainly will. Also, no-one is stealing my taxes to pay for the upkeep of Pen's animals.

Ben Wallace hit out at the “bullying, falsehoods and threatening behaviour” by those backing Paul “Pen” Farthing, who founded the charity Nowzad and has made a dash for the airport along with his 25 Afghan staff, their families and 173 rescued animals. Wallace had agreed to allow them to land a privately chartered plane to fly them to Britain, but Farthing said while his convoy had run the gauntlet of Taliban guards, it had been stuck outside the airport for 10 hours.

But why would people expect the civil servants to assist the evacuation of animals based on public outcry, I hear you ask? 

Attention has been drawn to Farthing’s campaign to evacuate his animals because a friend and fellow animal welfare campaigner, Dominic Dyer, told Mail+ that Boris Johnson had “pushed the issue” and his wife, Carrie Johnson, “most certainly had something to do with the change”.

However, a government source has denied such lobbying took place. Speaking on Thursday, the prime minister himself said: “I’ve had absolutely no influence on any particular case, nor would that be right. That’s not how we do things in this country.”

Except when it is, Boris..? 

"Is There A New Bond Film Coming Out..?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Oh, no reason..."

Yes, We've All Been There...

 

...haven't we?

Sunday Funnies...

Really, does anything feel more surreal than current news..?

Consider The Alternatives...

Police use their Tasers on black people for longer, according to a watchdog report which looked at cases including the deaths of 16 people.

The investigation by the Independent Office for Police Conduct also flagged concerns about the increased use of Tasers on children, the mentally ill and pensioners.

All people likely to be unwilling or incapable of following orders and complying with the police, you mean? Well, I never... 

...it spelled out 'missed opportunities' for police to de-escalate the situation before drawing the weapon.

How do you 'de-escalate' a situation like this? Someone who is mentally ill and a danger to himself and those around him need to be brought under control first. 

If not with a Taser, then with one of these:

Because that's the alternative. 

Michael Lockwood, IOPC director general, said: 'We recognise that Tasers are an important tool in policing.

'However, if the concerns identified in our report are not addressed, there is a risk the police will lose the trust and confidence of the communities they serve.'

Gosh, what a tragedy if the police lost the trust of the mentally ill and dangerous 'community'. Or the trust of the deliquent kids 'community'.  

Deborah Coles, director of the Inquest charity, said: 'This review is welcome but the recommendations do not go far enough to create the systemic change needed.

'We don't just need more scrutiny, community oversight, or training or guidance. We need the IOPC, police chiefs and oversight bodies to hold police officers to account when they abuse their powers and to confront the reality presented by this evidence.'

Oliver Feeley-Sprague, Amnesty International UK's policing expert and a member of the independent advisory group to the National Police Chiefs' Council lead on Tasers, said: 'This should be a wake-up call to the police and the Home Office over the use – and misuse – of these potentially lethal weapons.'

Fine by me. Go back to bashing them over the head with a length of metal or putting a bullet in them.  

Another Brick Out Of The Wall...

Ofcom has announced its withdrawal from a diversity scheme run by LGBT+ charity Stonewall.

Good for them! It's not the first and hopefully it won't be the last:  

The communications regulator said in a statement it has withdrawn from the Stonewall Diversity Champions programme because of “the need to remain impartial and independent at all times” and because taking part “poses a conflict or risk of perceived bias”.

Other organisations including the Equality and Human Rights Commission (EHRC) and the Cabinet Office have also quit the scheme in recent months.

As Fahrenheit211 points out, this is a group that - while set up in a time of undoubted need, and with initial good intentions and sucesses - has long since lost its way and now endangers the very social cohesion it initially fought to establish. 

A Stonewall spokesperson said (Ed: no doubt through gritted teeth...): “We respect Ofcom’s decision and will continue to work with them in their role as the UK’s communication regulator.

“It is sad, however, that involvement in a programme that supports an inclusive workplace for LGBTQ+ employees should be in any way regarded as an unimpartial act.”

You only have to look at the PR disasters you've had in recent months to see why a government department of impartial arbiter might be leery of you, unnamed spokesperson... 

“As with every membership programme, organisations come and go depending on what works best for their inclusion journey at the time, and we’re very proud of the work we’ve done with Ofcom and wish them the best in their ongoing efforts to support all of their LGBTQ+ employees.”

They've decided the best way to do that is not to trample on the rights of those LGBTQ+ employees in order to appease a miniscule and unrepresentative section. And who can blame them? 

They Work For You...Or Do They?

The plan for the new plaque was raised by Tavistock town council with West Devon borough council, which approved it.

Officials received 89 written objections to the proposal, including some that argued Sir Francis was a 'national hero' and a 'seminal historical figure'.

There was just one letter of support which urged officials to put his defeat of the Spanish Armada in the 'most prominent position' on the sign. The statue currently features a brief biography set in granite at its base.

You'd think that a council that supposedly is listening to 'the voice of the residents' would shrug and say, 'OK, that's that then', wouldn't you? 

Liars...

But no. Of course not. No matter how right the objectors are:

One said: 'I do not understand why a small number of extremists who have contributed precisely nothing to the history of this great country or to society in general feel they have a right to sit in judgment over historical figures.'

Because they win, of course. Every time. Thanks to quislings and UK-haters that sit on these councils. 

"The Buck Stops...With The Last Guy."

Harry S. Truman​ must be rolling in his grave...

Biden, 78, looked lost for words after being asked if he bore responsibility for an ISIS-K suicide attack at Kabul Airport on Thursday that killed 13 US service personnel, before bowing his head and clutching a file tightly around his hands.

He did so moments after raising eyebrows by revealing he had been given a list of pre-approved journalists to call on, saying: 'Ladies and gentlemen, they gave me a list here. The first person I was instructed to call on was Kelly O'Donnell from NBC.'

There's always a list. Every American and Brit who watched 'The West Wing' knew that. Only DementiaJoe is dumb enough to say it! 

Doocy was the last journalist called, with Biden left tongue-tied after he tried to throw a question back at Doocy about why Fox News was neglecting to mention that Donald Trump had confirmed the withdrawal when he was president.

But Doocy continued to push, with Biden visibly struggling after being pressed to take the blame for Thursday's atrocity.

If only the journalists now pushing had done their job before the election, not after, eh? 

Putting Southend On The Map..?

A Southend councillor says a so-called "incel" movement is a threat to women - following urgent warnings from a former chief prosecutor.

Kursaal ward councillor Matt Dent has agreed with warnings by Nazir Afzal that men in the so-called movement needed to be identified.

Well, I suppose it's one way to attract the attention of the local rag... 

Mr Afzal, former chief crown prosecutor for the North West told BBC Breakfast on Saturday there were 10,000 people with incel views like Davison in the country.

How does he know? Has there been a survey of views? Is he just pulling 'stats' out of his backside? 

He said: “How many of them, a small minority, are a threat?”

I'm guessing an even tinier minority!

“We have to recognise that we have a responsibility to identify them and share that information.”

'We' don't have to do any such thing, actually. Especially when it seems that identifying problematic views isn't exactly your forte... 

Mr Afzal added: “We have now seen posts on various social media sites which paint a picture of somebody that has a very low opinion or had a very low opinion of women, who seemed to have a belief he was entitled to do whatever he wanted to, a real expectation that women were some kind of lesser being.

“That kind of extreme misogyny of the type we have seen here and in terms of the incel community is a threat to all women and, ultimately, to all our communities.”

Were you not paying attention at mosque, Nazir? Or when you were prosecuting all those grooming cases? 

Just A Domestic, No Need For Press Interest...

A medical student is facing jail after he admitted throwing sulphuric acid in the face of a junior doctor.

Milad Rouf, 25, left Dr Rym Alaoui with 'life-changing injuries' after he threw the corrosive substance over her on the doorstep of her home in Brighton at 4.20pm on May 20.

More of those overseas doctors without which the NHS would grind to a halt, I see? Well, they are certainly keeping it going, in one respect - treating each other! 

Judge Christine Laing QC (Ed: Oh, dear...) said she was mindful of the 'extreme nature of this offence'.

She said: 'Given the serious nature of this offence I have to consider all options. I also have have to consider the question of dangerousness.'

The court also heard a full psychiatric report had been carried out and would be available on sentencing.

Wouldn't this be making more of a splash, usually? 

In 2016, Rouf launched an online resource website for medics called Docbot. While also working as an F1 doctor, Dr Alaoui joined the online staff and worked in marketing and finance.

Ah. Just a little falling out between friends and colleagues, then. How vibrant! 

Stop Calling Them 'Customers' - They Aren't, And Never Will Be...

The owner of restaurant Jack the Chipper which has been boycotted by customers...

Has it? By actual customers? 

...who have slammed the name for glorifying a serial killer has insisted he has no plans to change the name.

Really? So...people are avoiding the shop, are they? And the owners are on the verge of going bankrupt, are they? 

Owner Recep Turhan, 52, opened the chippy in Greenwich, South East London, after the success of the original shop based in the East End area of Whitechapel, where the Ripper was renowned for preying on his victims - who were mainly female prostitutes.

Appearing on ITV's This Morning today, he told how he has no plans to change the name of the shop - despite customer complaints.

'The other shop is in Brick Lane and I don't have any kind of problems in that area,' he said, speaking to presenters Ruth Langsford and Eamonn Holmes. 'I don't have any problems with customers there - we're going very well.'

Recep's son Cagri Turhan, who is the manager of the chip shop, added: 'We don't want to change the name. We don't want to disrespect anyone. We've already shown our respectfulness by offering 50% discount for women just to show we're not here to be disrespectful or damaging in any sense. We're just here to provide good food and a good service.'

But if your Greenwich branch has no customers, how can you do th.. 

'It's quite bad at the moment - more online than anything else,' he said.

'The customers that we have inside the shop - when they come in they love the food and say our product and customer service is great.'

'However, these specific people who are trying to boycott the shop itself try to always give us negative feedback and reviews online and try to damage the reputation of the business.'

Aha! It's not 'customers' at all, is it? One might think real journalists wouldn't describe an online mob - a lot of whom will be commenting from overseas and have no intention of setting foot in the country, let alone Mr Turhan's shop - as such.  

Unless, of course, you've been paying attention to what journalism has become...

This Is Why Twitter Is Declining...

The idiots who run it think that suggesting a getaway driver for a robbery that killed three people should have faced a legal penalty is the same thing as Tweeting 'You should die' to someone you don't like.

I've appealed the suspension, but a company that suspends a former President of the United States yet allows the Taliban a voice is doomed anyway. You can get me on Gab in the meantime. 

Update: 

Didn't expect it to succeed. Well, they say 'To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize' and I guess it's the criminal parents of the San Francisco District Attorney! 

And since Parler is back up and running, I'm over there too!

Their Jobs Weren't Why They Were Killed, 'Mail'...

Well, not their primary job, in this case at least:

Today, five of the masked men were jailed for a total of more than 70 years.

Judge Richard Marks, QC, said the gang, who had been selling drugs on the estate, targeted Amrou and a friend for 'affecting their customers' when they started to do the same.

Meanwhile, in another part of enriched London:

There's no suggestion that this one had any drugs connection:

Jurors were told that Mr Adekola was in the 'wrong place at the wrong time' as he chanced upon a group of young men who had travelled into the rival NW9 postcode area.

Mr Emlyn Jones said: 'It is the prosecution case that the defendants were on a raid into enemy territory, something known as a 'ride out'.

'When they got to NW9, it didn't matter to them who they stabbed - it was enough to show their NW9 rivals that they could turn up on enemy territory and attack who they liked.'

Undeterred by the law, or morals, or consequences. But stop and search or heavy policing of certain areas and 'cultures' is racist, apparently, so what to do? 

Public Enemies In 2021...

A football fan has been charged in connection with a racist social media post shared online following the Euro 2020 final.

Scott McCluskey, 43, from Runcorn will appear at Warrington Magistrates' Court next month charged with sending an offensive/abusive message by a public communication network.

Wow, the cops are really going for the tough busts, aren't they? No staking out burglar-targeted warehouses in the cold for them, oh no! Or doing the legwork on other cases that one might suggest have a far higher priority since it's not just feelings that were hurt.

What did this chap say that made this such a priority for the cops?

Police are yet to give details on the wording use, or who it allegedly targeted.

Huh! Fancy that... 

Mark Roberts, Chief Constable of Cheshire Constabulary and the National Police Chiefs' Council (NPCC) lead for football policing, spoke out against the racism targeted at members of the England team.

'Hate crime in any form is simply not acceptable,' he said at the time.

'The racial abuse aimed at our own players following Sunday night's game was totally abhorrent and has quite rightly shocked and appalled people across the country.

'Those in the England team have been true role models throughout the tournament, conducting themselves with professionalism and dignity. '

Really?  

 Good thing you didn't say that under oath, eh, Mark?

And those wondering if this predicts a downturn in the force's capacity to fight real crime, well, it's a bit late:

Chair of the force’s 'enable staff support network', David McMahon, said: “The force has moved forward so much in terms of the development, support and understanding of dyslexia and other conditions in recent years.

“I am proud, for the whole of the enable network that I lead, to have been part of that journey and to receive the SMART award accolade is further recognition of the Constabulary’s commitment to its colleagues with neuro-diverse colleagues.

“With the introduction of further trained assessors in the future we will be looking to offer more support to those joining the organisation who may not be aware of their conditions.

“Dyslexia and other conditions shouldn’t be seen as a blocker to entry, promotion and further opportunities within the force.”

Clearly, it's not. Like excessive wokeness, it might even be an advantage! 

If You Encourage Behaviour, You'll Get More Of It...

Naomi Osaka's first press conference since her controversial decision at the French Open to refuse questions from reporters resulted in tears on Monday.

Well, you could knock me down with a feather! 

Osaka, who pulled out of the May competition after she was hit with fines for skipping mandatory post-match media briefings, began sobbing after she was asked 'a fairly aggressively toned question' about how she has benefitted greatly from media attention, while avoiding speaking to the press.

I'm sure his fellow journalists, with their famed integrity, will leap to his defence and the defence of their right to ask hard qu...

Oh. 

Tennis reporter Ben Rothenberg, who was also covering the press conference, tweeted that Daugherty, 'asked (Osaka) a fairly aggressively toned question about how she benefits from a high-media profile but doesn't like talking to media.

Rothenberg said the Women's Tennis Association paused the press conference, and later answered the final question.

He scolded Daughtery for asking Osaka a question, saying, 'the aggressive tone from an unfamiliar person, after Naomi had already spoken in an earlier answer about how that's what she finds difficult in press conferences, got things going completely awry.'

What, so she'd have answered that question if she'd recognised the reporter? Oh, please! 

Osaka's agent, Stuart Duguid, released a statement hitting out at Daugherty's question 'The bully at the Cincinnati Enquirer is the epitome of why player / media relations are so fraught right now. Everyone on that Zoom will agree that his tone was all wrong and his sole purpose was to intimidate. Really appalling behavior,'

Will they all agree? Really? 

'And this insinuation that Naomi owes her off court success to the media is a myth – don’t be so self-indulgent.'

Someone's being self-indulgent here all right. But I don't think it's the reporters... 

Sorry, Doesn't Pass The Smell Test...

A driver was raped after she stopped to check if a child was safe after spotting an empty car seat in a layby, police have said.

Wait, what? I've lost count of the times I've seen dumped car seats, prams, etc by the side of the road. Never once occured to me to stop and check for a baby in the vicinity! 

Thames Valley police said the woman was raped in a layby on the A4 in Thatcham, Berkshire, opposite the junction with Cox’s Lane, in an attack late on 16 August.

Let's have a look at this layby, shall we? 

Hmm...unlit, right next to a clump to woodland...no, even if I had the reflexes of a F1 driver to spot the article and make the decision to stop in time, I wouldn't!

The force, whose officers were called at around midnight, said it is now investigating whether the empty car seat was used to the lure the victim (sic) who had been driving on the A4 before she was attacked.

Nope! Sorry! 

First You Laugh...

...then you weep when you realised it's true!

Are You Crying 'Wolf', 'Daily Mail' Editor?

...or do you really think lions form packs?

Sunday Funnies...

Something for Paris to bear in mind...

I Think There's Something Wrong With Your Intelligence, Andy...

Hampshire Constabulary mounted a massive operation over two weekends in June after the unauthorised racing, attended by more than 450 individuals, shut the back road near Micheldever over the May bank holiday weekend.

Excellent! A police force actually doing something! 

Now, a senior councillor has questioned whether Hampshire Constabulary should have prioritised other operations, including cracking down on child exploitation and county lines drug dealing.

Err, those things don't tend to advertise themselves as happening at specific times and places, Andy... 

Cllr Andy McCormick, Labour leader on Basingstoke and Deane Borough Council, said that "there must have been something that went wrong" with the force's intelligence.

Clearly, you aren't displaying much yourself: 

Over the first weekend of the operation, two sulky traps were seized and three individuals were subject to section 35 dispersal orders, with no racing or associated criminality taking place.

Additionally, police cracked down on unrelated driving offences, including one drug driver, three drink drivers, one "motorist dealt with for drugs offences" and five uninsured driver.

Anyone else would consider this a great result. 

But on the second weekend, no arrests, dispersals or seizures took place.

Anyone else would consider this a great result too! But not Andy: 

Speaking to The Gazette, Cllr McCormick said: "That is a hell of a lot of resources with not a lot to show for it.

"They must have made a judgement call and thought it was a bigger thing than it was. I don't know if their intelligence was off or if they cancelled at the last minute.

"Taking over a public road at the last minute is quite a big deal so I can understand why they wanted to dedicate the resource they did.

"I am tempted to say that there must have been something that went wrong with the intelligence at the last minute. There is more to it."

No, actually, there really isn't. I can understand why you'd think so, but this is actually what we want and expect the police to do. And the results we want from them. 

H/T: Ian J via email 

Do We Want To Get 'Back To Normal' Or Not?

The developer of Pokémon Go is facing a player revolt after rolling back safety measures implemented at the onset of the pandemic last year.

Yes, and disclosure time: I play. I've really been impressed with the speed with which they changed the gameplay, and it's been very useful during the pandemic. 

But it's not how the game was meant to be played, so surely a reversion to normal is to be welcomed? 

Niantic, the Google subsidiary which released the smash hit mobile game in 2016, had reacted to the onset of the pandemic by tweaking how its games work. The introduction of social distancing and stay-at-home orders around the world made it hard to play the company’s augmented reality (AR) games as intended, since they task players with leaving their homes and visiting local landmarks to catch Pokémon, gather items, and fight for regional dominance. The company doubled the distance required to interact with key landmarks in the game, which enabled players to access them in-game without needing to physically cluster around the same spot in the real world. It also handed out free items to players, including “incense”, which makes Pokémon show up without needing to leave your house.

So why the angst? Well, it seems players have become complacent about the changes. And want to keep them. 

The news prompted dismay among the player base, particularly for American users, for whom a new wave of the pandemic is starting as the Delta variant establishes itself in the US. A petition on Change.org has gained almost 150,000 signatures from users calling on the company to keep the changes.

And they've found what they think is an unassailable lever to help them persuade the company to think again: 

As well as pandemic safety, the changes had been praised for making the game more available for disabled players: increased interaction distance meant that pokestops that were once physically inaccessible for wheelchair users, for instance, were suddenly available.

What will Niantic do? Watch this space.  

Go Meet With Them, Paul....

Activists from the Brighton chapter of Animal Rebellion held the sit-in protest in the chain's Western Road outlet at noon last Saturday.

The protest included "occupying" areas of the restaurant and eating vegan food that activists had taken along to the restaurant.

Animal Rebellion demand that McDonald's transition to plant-based food by 2025.

It says it will "continue to disrupt business as usual for them" until it gets to speak to the UK CEO Paul Pomroy and its "demands are met".

...listen to their raving politely, then stand up, tell them to fuck off, and walk out. 

Film it and stick it on YouTube. I guarantee sales will go through the roof!

I Predict A Well-Planned And Executed Show Of Force From The Government Today...

What...? No, no, of course not one to extract UK citizens from Afghanistan! 

One to destroy one allegedly-sick alpaca called Geronimo:

The doomed alpaca can count on an 'army willing to fight for his survival', Helen Macdonald added.

'We will form a ring of steel around Geronimo. It is now all-out war,' the 50-year-old said from her farm in Wickwar, Gloucestershire, yesterday.

Well, I wish you luck, Mrs Macdonald, but you won't be up against the likes of our woke Army top brass, who'd give in to the enemy before a shot was fired, and who can't even bring themselves to call them the enemy. 

You'll be up against people who show steel and resolve aplenty when it looks like they could possibly be proven wrong:: 

The High Court judge's decision means Defra will not be compelled to investigate whether it holds data that suggests bTB tests can be unreliable in alpacas.

We couldn't have that, could we? 

A Defra spokesman said: 'We are sympathetic to Miss Macdonald's situation – just as we are with everyone with animals affected by this terrible disease.'

I doubt that, frankly. There certainly doesn't seem to be much sympathy from other farmers, who are mostly taking the view that 'We lost our animals, so you should lose yours too'.  Perhaps you should have fought for them like she has?

He's Not The Only One Sticking Up Two Fingers To Justice, Is He?

A drunk driver who left a mum and daughter with devastating injuries in a horror crash flicked the middle finger after he escaped jail.

Scott Roe, 39, rammed his Mercedes CLA220 into an Audi at 60mph after he "got bored" of travelling behind another vehicle that was sticking to the 30mph speed limit.

First offence, perhaps?  

The 39-year-old, who had two previous convictions for drink driving, admitted two charges of causing serious injury by dangerous driving and drink driving at Warwick Crown Court.

Oh... 

He was given a 16-month jail term, suspended for 18 months, and was ordered to do 150 hours of unpaid work at the sentencing on August 6.

So, why the excessive leniency? Is the mitigation amazing? 

Andrew Wilkins, defending, said: "It's a case in which it is a cascade of things that go wrong."

For the women, the innocent victims, yes. For this worthless scum, not so much... 

"It all starts to go wrong when he makes the decision to drive after drinking."

Well, he'd done it twice before with no real consequences, after all... 

"Once he had done that he then, perhaps as a consequence, makes the decision to overtake a vehicle that's moving too slowly for his liking, and he does so at speed."

Strange sort of 'mitigation', this... 

"Mr Roe is horrified at the consequences of his actions."

He didn't seem very remorseful leaving court, did he? 

H/T: David Bain via email 

Orange Man Not So Bad Now..?

President Joe Biden angrily defended his handling of the U.S. withdrawal from Afghanistan, saying on Wednesday that chaos was unavoidable and snapping when asked about horrific images of Afghans falling from planes.

'That was four days ago, five days ago,' he said, even though the images of people falling to their deaths emerged on Monday.

Can you imagine what the reaction would have been if instead of Dementia Joe in the White House it had been Trump?

I wonder what the 'Guardian' coverage of this car crash interview looks like?

Oh...

OK, how about the 'Independent'?

Well, I suppose at least it got a mention there...

The president also sought to scotch rumors that the US is planning to withdraw all troops aiding its rescue mission in just days, amid reports the UK is concerned about a sudden departure after being kept in the dark by its closest ally.

Biden said: 'If there's American citizens left, we're going to stay to get them all out.

'So Americans should understand that troops might have to be there beyond Aug. 31?' Stephanopoulos then asked.

'No,' Biden answered. 'Americans should understand that we're going to try to get it done before Aug. 31.'

But he then said, 'If we don't, we'll determine at the time who's left.'

So Dementia Joe can write to their grieving families, I presume. Good god, even the staunchest Trump hater must be having a teinge of conscience right now, surely? 

(Not) Keeping Death Off The Roads...

A teenage driver smashed through a garden wall during a high-speed police helicopter chase in which 20 other vehicles had to take evasive action.

Pity it wasn't an Apache gunship... 

Raaqib Rasool was 17 when he sped off in a silver Vauxhall Astra when he had no driving licence and no insurance, Bradford Crown Court heard yesterday.

Rasool, now 19, of Jesmond Avenue, Heaton, Bradford, pleaded guilty to driving dangerously on the afternoon of June 14 last year.

And is he heading for a long spell behind bars? Reader, he is not, of course: 

He was sentenced to 12 months detention in a young offender institution, suspended for two years, after Judge David Hatton QC labelled the driving “monstrous.”

Clearly, 'monstrous' driving just doesn't cut it. Maybe only 'apocalyptic' driving will get you a spell in youth chokey. But maybe I'm maligning his honour? Maybe the mitigation was amazing?

Reader, it was not: 

Mohammed Khan said in mitigation that he was just 17 at the time and had made “a huge mistake.”

He knew there was a strong possibly of a custodial sentence. He was ashamed of his behaviour and family members relied on him for support.

Rasool had completed a business course and hoped to continue with his studies. There was a job waiting for him when the court proceedings had concluded.

The same old boilerplate they all churn out. And why do family members rely on a 17 year old for support? 

Judge David Hatton QC said Rasool had put other road users at considerable risk, causing many vehicles to take evasive action to avoid him.

Well, hopefully a swinging fine, at least? 

He was ordered to pay £425 costs. Judge Hatton told him: “You’re free to go with your very large bag I see.”

That won't even pay for the petrol costs, let alone the avgas for the chopper... 

I Guess The Degree Course Didn't Cover This..?

Yatewuladio Djeny Matuasilva was 'caught in the act' when she was found in a compromising situation with the prisoner at HMP Pentonville in north London on August 30 2020.

The Operational Support Grade (OSG) officer initially denied engaging in sexual activity with the inmate. She claimed she 'blacked out' and could not remember how she came to be in his cell.

When questioned the 26-year-old from Barnet inisisted: 'I don't remember how my trousers got half way down.'

She's 26 years old, that's a bit young for dementia, isn't it? 

But she later admitted misconduct in a public office and engaging in sexual behaviour with a prisoner at Snaresbrook Crown Court.

When her brief advised her this wasn't likely to fly, even at notoriously-soft Snaresbrook! 

The pair both shared a Congolese heritage and the judge suspected this is how she developed a bond with the prisoner.

'Developed a bond'..? That's a new euphemism! 

Matuasilva, who has a degree in criminology, worked as a prison officer for three years but has since lost her job.

You'd think at least one of the sessions in that course would have covered sex with inmates, wouldn't you? 

It's Time To Play 'Guess The Breed And Sex Of The Owner' Again!

A woman who was attacked by her {redacted} has been left with life-changing injuries.

Chihuahua? Cocker spaniel? Labrador?

Don't be silly!

Nottinghamshire Police said the dog turned on a child at a home in Hoylake Crescent, Bilborough, on Saturday evening. Two women at the property intervened and were repeatedly bitten on the face, arms and stomach by the animal.

The dog was eventually stabbed by another occupant, and secured in the garden before they called 999.

One hopes it was a garden with a high fence... 

An emergency vet was called but was left with no option but to put down the animal.

Armed police should have saved him the trouuble and finished the damned thing off then and there! 

Det Insp Jon Kerry said: "It's devastating that a woman has suffered such serious injuries caused by her own pet, but we can only be grateful that it didn't result in far worse consequences had the animal been able to attack the child.

"Although we don't believe that the animal was a banned breed, this is a stark reminder to all pet owners not to take any chances with animals around children, particularly if they have ever displayed violent tendencies."

Perhaps we should reintroduce dog licencing, and you could trawl through their social media before deciding if they were suitable owners for such a dangerous weapon..? 

Meanwhile, in Wales: 

Police have yet to comment on claims the dog was due to be destroyed following two recent attacks.

Strange, they are usually so chatty...

Not The Leeds I Remember From Childhood Holidays...

A 20-year-old Leeds man who admitted to sexually assaulting a "vulnerable" young girl has avoided jail.

A 'Leeds man', eh?

Mahdi Alishieshi, of Brudenell Mount, Hyde Park, was 17 years old at the time of the offences involving the child, who was then aged 11 or 12.

That's a good old Yorkshire name, isn't it? 

...a judge at Manchester Crown Court told him: "This wasn't accidental touching, this was a sexually motivated incident.

"You need to look deep within yourself and acknowledge that and move on from there.

"She was and is a particularly vulnerable young person, in that she is somewhat disturbed and troubled."

Before the abuse, or after, and as a result? 

The judge said the victim's ordeal has 'exacerbated her troubles'.

She told Alishieshi: "To your credit, you made frank admissions in interview.

"I have no doubt you are making significant progress in getting your life back on track."

Alishieshi, a university student, has 'strong academic capabilities' and a 'prospect of a bright and successful future'," she said.

Apart from the little issue of being a sexual predator, I suppose? 

Defending, Lewis Kerr said Alishieshi has suffered from mental health problems which he has been seeking help.

Quit while you're winning, Lewis!  

H/T: ClownWorld via Twitter 

Imported Savagery Again...

Four people have been convicted of murdering an NHS worker they selected at random to kill in the street in an attack meant to boost their standing in a gang.

David Gomoh, 24, was attacked in Newham, east London, as he spoke on the phone to his girlfriend who heard the opening words of the attack, as one gang member asked: “Where are you from?”

All are black or other ethnic minorities including the innocent victim. At least one shouldn't even have been here:

The Guardian has learned that one of the gang members, Vagnei Colubali, had been deported from the UK in 2017 but smuggled himself back into the country, according to multiple sources with close knowledge of the case.

I guess evading Border Farce isn't so difficult these days, especially when they seem more interested in assisting illegal immigration than preventing it...

Those convicted were affiliated to the Northside gang, who declared themselves “at war” with gangs from the south of the impoverished borough in east London.

Those convicted and their ages at the time of the attack were Mohammad Jalloh, 18, David Ture, 18, Colubali, 22, and a youth aged 16.

Once again, the usual suspects. 

The attackers had differing backgrounds.

Did they really? Let's see. 

Jalloh had done well at school and was a drug dealer who claimed to be making £1,000 a week and used a £35 a night hotel room to stash his drugs.

The youth who cannot be named for legal reasons, lived in Telford.

Colubali was caught on CCTV wearing an Armani bag and bragged to a friend he had killed someone in his native Portugal.

David Ture had in 2018 been convicted for stabbing someone in a fight and at the time was in a hostel.

They don't appear to differ much to me! Of course, we don't know anything about the poor little underage gang member. Or...do we? 

The jury of seven women and five men deliberated for 14 hours and 51 minutes before reaching unanimous verdicts on all charges.

Dock officers had to stop the 17-year-old storming from the dock as the verdicts were announced.

He was pushed back into his chair and told to 'simmer down' by a burly security guard as relatives of Mr Gomoh sat quietly in the courtroom.

I guess we can make assumptions based on that. 

I Think This Might Be What You Call 'A Clue', Vicki...

A desperate hunt has been launched for a group of yobs that were seen beating a puppy to death in a car park.

A witness saw the terrier puppy being repeatedly thrown in the air and hit by a stick by about 15 people at the Oak Park Active Living Centre in Walsall.

The RSPCA is appealing to anyone who may be able to identify any of the individuals in the vile group.

A truly vile group. Who would do such a thing? 

Inspector Vicki Taylor, who is investigating for the animal welfare charity, said: "Witnesses reported seeing the yelping puppy being thrown in the air and hit with a stick a number of times while surrounded by a group of around 15 people.

"A member of the public removed the dog’s dead body and contacted us to report what they had seen. Veterinary examination of the young black and tan terrier’s body showed the dog had suffered a fractured skull and broken jaw before his death."

Not only 'who would do such a thing' but 'who would do such a thing without fearing intervention from a member of the public'..? 

She said a number of caravans were parked in the car park at the time are keen to speak to anyone who lives there to see if they saw anything.

Oh. 

H/T: TattyScouse via Twitter

Caravanning And Covid...

 

Well played, Matt, well played indeed...

Some 'Baby'...

That buck has a very nice set of antlers. You don't get those until you're a mature roe.

Sunday Funnies...

What if we arranged a contest and nobody came..?

Bringing You Tomorrow's Technology-Led Miscarriage Of Justice Today...

iPhones will send sexting warnings to parents if their children send or receive explicit images – and will automatically report child abuse pictures on devices to the authorities, Apple has announced.

A trio of new safety tools have been unveiled in a bid to protect young people and limit the spread of child sexual abuse material (CSAM), the tech giant said. While the measures are initially only being rolled out in the US, Apple plans for the technology to soon be available in the UK and other countries worldwide.

Of course it does! 

The iPhone maker said the new detection tools have been designed to protect user privacy and do not allow the tech giant to see or scan a user's photo album.

*hollow laughter* I think they forgot to add 'Yet'...

Say, who's providing the data that it's going to match against?

Instead, the system will look for matches, securely on the device, based on a database of 'hashes' - a type of digital fingerprint - of known CSAM images provided by child safety organisations.

Oh. Organisations whose very existence depends on the existance of the thing they are planning to find. Well, I can't see any inherent danger in that, can anyone else? 

The company reiterated that the new CSAM detection tools would only apply to those using iCloud Photos and would not allow the firm or anyone else to scan the images on a user's camera roll.

Until they can figure out how to do it? 

The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves...

When logging on to their work computers this week, all employees are being greeted with a new screensaver...

Oh, lord, we have this too - usually a reminder about 'Learning at Work Week' or an announcement of some other HR initiative.  

...featuring the word ‘vulnerability’ and the faces of four people who died following contact with the force.

I'm guessing it's not in celebration of the ARVs turning up and slotting dangerous criminals?

All four cases had led to referrals being made to the Independent Office for Police Conduct (IOPC) as they had previously made contact with the force to express concerns about their safety.

Amongst the hundreds of such calls they get each day? 

The screensaver also contained a link to a video featuring Chief Constable Rachel Swann. She told viewers that “simple errors are being made” and that in some cases “we are not doing what we should”.

She called for “drastic changes” in how the force operates and said that officers and staff need to “get it right first time, because in the cases of those we have let down, they don’t get any second chances”.

Rachel Swann, that name rings a b...

Oh, Right. 

I have to say, I have an exemplary sick record myself. But if this steaming pile of woke crap desperate to climb the greasy pole with an eye on the Dame of Disaster's post was my boss, I'd be bloody depressed too! 

And that she has the chutzpah to demand her officers should 'get things right first time' when she herself can't manage it is not exactly leadership, is it? 

Even the sort that passes for such in the modern police farce...

 H/T: Royston Martis via Twitter

Great Timing!

A 30-year-old law which demands that dogs from banned breeds are put down is “unfit for purpose” and must be reformed, Scotland’s leading animal welfare charity has warned.

The Scottish SPCA has called for the Dangerous Dogs Act 1991 to be overhauled so three breeds — Japanese tosa, dogo argentino and Brazilian mastiff — and one type, the American pitbull, avoid automatic the euthanasia (sic) if they are identified.

I think it should be overhauled too...but to add breeds to it! 

Scotland isn't the only place with idiots calling for it to be watered down, either:

Campaigners such as Ms Medhi are now calling for reform of the Dangerous Dogs Act, with her recent petition now signed by 50,000 people urging ministers to change the law.

“This is dog racism, how can you determine a dog to be dangerous by its look?” she asked.

Actually, pretty easily! 

A four-year-old boy was allegedly attacked by a pitbull dog outside a Sainsbury's supermarket today.

The youngster was savaged by the hulking XL American Bully outside the store in Wolverhampton, according to shocked witnesses.

Which mouth-breathing moron owns this dangerous mutt? 

The dog is said to be an 11-month-old called Donnie owned by a homeless man, who has apologised but denied that it had bitten the boy, saying it was a 'graze'.

Wait, what? How does a 'homeless man' - assuming he's genuinely homeless - afford a large, powerful animal like this? 

Sergeant Robert Pritchard, from Wolverhampton Police, said: 'The child was taken to hospital for treatment but his physical injuries are not believed to be life-changing and we wish him well for a speedy recovery. He must have been very frightened.

'The dog, thought to be an American Bully XL, was seized by officers at the scene and is now being looked after in our kennels. Its breed will be confirmed as part of our investigation.'

What does its breed matter? It's dangerous and should be put down. 

The dog's owner, who remained sitting outside the supermarket, denied the animal had bitten the youngster. He insisted his dog 'never misbehaves'.

The man said: 'The kid has come running down and startled Donnie. Donnie jumped up and knocked him over. It wasn't a bite - it's a graze.

'The police have got my dog. They have said I'll get him back in a couple of weeks if he behaves himself. '

/facepalm 

'Don't Give Them A Licence'? Yeah, That'll Work...

An international puppy smuggling ring has been jailed for a total of 18 years for selling animals online that had been so badly treated they died before they new owners got them home.

International ring? Is this the dastardly Eastern Europeans again? 

The gang of smugglers, many of them from the Irish Cawley traveller family...

Ah, of course. 

...made more than £300,000 in a sophisticated fraud designed to dupe innocent dog owner's out of their hard-earned cash.

I wonder why HMRC don't take as big an interest as they do in TV stars? I guess squalid caravan sites don't hold the same appeal as plush London offices...

Today after a two-day sentencing hearing at Aylesbury Crown Court, Judge Sheridan said: 'Not one of the defendants in this case should ever be given a licence to breed animals.'

Oh, bless! Judge Sheridan thinks this would make a blind bit of difference!  

'The effects referred to in this case cannot be regarded by the public as anything other than utterly abhorrent.

'This is a trade in cruelty and misery for the animals and the human beings who sought to buy them. The protection of the public must be foremost in my mind.

'This is a massive industry and that is all it is, an industry of misery.'

It's the only sort of 'work' they are ever likely to indulge in. 

Anyone Else Would Be Out Of A Job...

Allegra Stratton, spokesperson for the Cop26 climate summit, courted controversy when she told Times Radio on Monday that she continued to use a diesel car because of taking long journeys to Scotland, Wales and Gloucestershire for family visits.

Are we so used to the utter hypocrisy from these people that no one's calling for her to be hounded out of her position? 

How did she get there, anyway? 

...she is a friend of the PM's wife, Carrie Johnson, who is said to be something of a climate change zealot herself. Come to think of it, Boris sounds increasingly that way inclined. Nor should one forget that Ms Stratton cut her journalistic teeth at The Guardian before moving to that newspaper's acknowledged finishing school, BBC2's Newsnight.

Ah! Still, she's clearly in good company: 

Britain's climate tsar was accused of hypocrisy last night for flying to at least 30 countries – and not isolating afterwards.

Alok Sharma has travelled tens of thousands of miles over the past seven months to prepare the ground for the COP26 global environment summit this autumn.

But despite visiting at least six countries on the travel ‘red list’, he has been given a ministerial exemption from hotel quarantine each time.

They are just spitting in our faces now, aren't they? 

Labour Priorities...

"Foreign criminals here illegally? We love you, don't go!"

The seven who were successfully deported had been sentenced to a total of 46 years in jail for offences including rape, sexual offences against children, assault and possession of offensive weapons.

One had been handed a minimum tariff of 20 years for murder, while another served a long jail term for four counts of rape. His victim was a girl aged under 16.

Labour MPs had campaigned in support of all 50 criminals, with former shadow home secretary Diane Abbott describing the Home Office's efforts to deport them as a 'racist dragnet'.

"Animal condemned to death by incompetent government department? Meh..*shrugs*"

Sir Keir said: ‘It’s always tragic when it happens. I don’t think we can make an exception in this case. Of course it’s sad – it’s sad for farmers as well when they lose their animals but we have to keep TB under control.’

Maybe you'd do better keeping the mad cows in your front bench ranks under control, Kier...

Import The Third World, Get Third World Methods Of Dispute Resolution...

Hachem, 19, who was fatally shot from a passing car as she bought groceries near her home in Blackburn on 17 May 2020, was not the intended victim. The bullet was intended for the owner of Quickshine Tyres, Pachah Khan, but the shot missed, hitting the student.

The killing was the result of a feud between two businesses, where resentment escalated into violence. Feroz Suleman, the owner of RI Tyres, and his friend Ayaz Hussain recruited Zamir Raja to assassinate Khan, owner of the rival car wash business Quickshine Tyres.

They've all now got life. Not that that really means life. And there's one final twist: 

The 19-year-old who dreamed of becoming a solicitor had fled from violence in her native Lebanon as a child to settle with her family in Blackburn, Lancashire.

Turned out she may have been safer in Lebanon. Because progressives feel that this country needs to be more like Lebanon... 

Who Are You Going To Believe..?

...the 'Mail' description, or your lying eyes?

Footage from the scene shows the grandmother, who is wearing a long grey cardigan, approach the officers arresting her son and attempt to speak with them.

No, it clearly shows her grab his hair and attempt to pull him away by it!

Greater Manchester Police have said the incident has now been referred to its Professional Standards Department who will review the body-cam footage from officers.

They should just watch the video...

Even the daughter inadvertantly gives the game away in her 'Yeah, but no, but yeah...' interview: 

Ms Willisford added: 'So my mum as he has punched my brother in the head has walked over and said ''you're hurting him, stop hurting my son''. She's a touchy-feely person and she was under the influence of alcohol.

'He's flung her, for nothing. She went over and touched his head, she's panicking, obviously, she shouldn't have touched him.'

Case closed! 

Maybe You Should Look Up 'Intent' In A Dictionary, Your Honour...

Martine Snowdon, prosecuting at Liverpool Crown Court, said Walsh pleaded guilty to wounding without intent.

Oh..? And what did she do 'without purpose or determination' then? 

She said the incident took place on April 27 last year, when the victim went to visit Cheryl Morrison, who also lived in the same area as Walsh. Ms Caples went to Walsh's address after discovering a living room window had been damaged and Ms Snowdon said Walsh 'felt genuinely fearful for her safety'.

Another neighbour said they 'heard raised voices' and 'as an argument was taking place Walsh came out of her address with a white kettle in her hand'.

They said they heard Ms Walsh say 'watch out'. Ms Caples said she then 'felt boiling hot water hit the right side of her face and chest' which had sugar in it...

Wait, hang on...

Unless she habitually makes awful tea and coffee, there's clearly intent there in not only boiling the kettle but on putting sugar in it!

Naturally, the excuses come thick and fast:

John Rowan, defending, said Walsh is taking medication for manic depression and anxiety. Mr Rowan said when Walsh was 15 she was the victim of a stabbing which 'perhaps has a substantial effect on her mental health' and added she suffers from PTSD.

He said she has two young sons, aged two and seven, and added her eldest son is 'very close to her'. Mr Rowan said: 'In my submission there is a realistic prospect of rehabilitation in this case.'

He added she had a 'strong work ethic' (Ed: In Liverpool..?!) and said there would be a 'significant detrimental impact upon dependents'.

What judge could possibly think this excuses this act?  

The judge, Recorder Ian Unsworth, QC, sentencing, said it was not only a serious case which 'could have been far more serious' but 'also a very sad case'.

*sighs* 

The judge said it was 'not suggested this was premeditated or planned' and was 'clearly something done in the spur of the moment'.

It appears you need to look up a few more words. 

The judge said: 'I have been just about persuaded in this case your sentence of imprisonment can be suspended.'

Walsh was handed 18 months suspended for 20 months and ordered to complete 20 Rehabilitation Activity Requirements and 150 hours of unpaid work.

It's beyond belief. 

The judge imposed a five year restraining order preventing Walsh from contacting her victim.

Why is this necessary if you're convinced that she won't do it again? 

Labour MPs - Making Labour Unelectable One Tweet At A Time...

One wonders what, exactly, Ms Webbe thinks is the 'false police information' about known armed drug dealer Duggan?

Meanwhile, in the 'Guardian', perennial black criminal excuser Stafford Smith is at it again:

A number of Black men have died at the hands of the police in the borough of Haringey since Mark’s death. Many more have faced excessive police force. In 2015, Jermaine Baker was fatally shot outside Wood Green cown (sic) court.

Really? Just sitting innocently outside the court reading a newspaper, was he? 

Jermaine Baker was part of a criminal gang trying to spring a prisoner from custody when he was killed by a Metropolitan police marksman in December 2015.

No. No he wasn't was he, Stafford? That bit slipped what passes for your mind, did it? 

Another Diversity Hire Triumph For The Met Police...

...goes down in flames (albeit not quite like her Muslim sister in Bury, who the MSM is strangely silent about):

A Muslim police officer hailed as a role model for bravely confronting anti-lockdown protesters was facing an urgent investigation last night after it was revealed she tweeted a torrent of racist messages and was in regular contact with a suspected female jihadi in Syria.

Oops! Boy, will Dame Cress's face be red, eh? 

As Scotland Yard faced questions over how her rants were missed during vetting...

That's easy to answer. It's because the Met Police are stunningly incompetent.  

Last night, the Met said: 'There is no place within the Met for any racist, homophobic or otherwise hateful attitudes and officers and staff can expect robust action should they be found to hold or express such views.

'The Directorate of Professional Standards will now conduct a thorough investigation to establish the full circumstances behind the social media posts. The officer has been notified of the investigation and placed on restricted duties.'

Yet again, so blinded by the need for 'diversity' they fail to check properly just who it is they are employing... 

You Spelled 'Drunken, Drugged Car Thief' Wrong...

You don't spell it 'mechanic'...

Kayne Gardner, 30, crashed into the HGV while behind the wheel of a stolen Audi Q5 while attempting to flee from pursuing officers near Ilford, London, on October 21, 2018.

The coroner's court heard that Kayne had been driving the vehicle while almost three-times the drink-drive limit of 80mg per 100ml of blood, with 228mg found in his system.

A toxicologist also reported finding traces of the psychoactive substance THC, found in cannabis, in Kayne's system at the time of his death.

*sighs* Sadly, it's not technically a Darwin, since he's passed on his clearly defective genes:

Kayne was killed only a few days before he had been expecting to move in with his girlfriend Bonnie Exley and this (sic) daughter.

Speaking about her boyfriend's death, Bonnie said that their happy ending had been taken from them.

By whom, other than himself? 

"We will never forget him, all I can do is raise our daughter in a way that makes him proud."

You mean the police will be chasing her down a dual carriageway at some point in the future? 

The jury ruled Kayne died as a result of misadventure.

I guess they didn't have a ruling of 'criminal stupidity' to hand? Maybe it should be an option... 

"Boss, What Sounds Better, 'Going Missing' Or 'Vanishing'..?"

"Oh, just use both."

"No, dummy, not in the headline, in the story!"

"Important safety tip. Thanks, Egon."

I notice it doesn't say anything about ears...

H/T: Stephen Brown via email

Sunday Funnies...

If only scientists would confine themselves to this...

It Seems We Must Pray For Bad Weather...

...because it's the only thing that will halt the invasion. It's not going to be the people we elect to preserve our borders:

The migrants who admitted dodging quarantine to go out shopping when they were supposed to be in their rooms aired their claims to the Telegraph yesterday.

One, who is being houses (sic) in a hotel in Peckham, south London, said: 'I was quarantining for 12 days but I could go outside. Security asked for your room numbers when you left and to sign back in.' Asked if he could go shopping, he said: 'Yes'.

*sighs* 

A security guard at a hotel in Kensington, in the west of the capital, added: 'I don't know how many are in quarantine, whether it's one, two or none.'

Asked about the fact migrants were going in and out of the building without restrictions, he said: 'I see what you're saying, but those ones are probably not quarantining.'

We are being taken for mugs. When will we wake up?