Ambush Predator

Oh Noes, Now They Are Armed And Dangerous!!

2012-01-29T13:15:00.003Z

Another deer kill has been reported as scientists move closer to results of DNA tests which could beef up evidence of big cats in Gloucestershire.

Ooooh....!

Oh. Wait.

The Roe deer, found by walker Dave Davies on Tuesday afternoon, appeared to have been shot at point blank range through the top of its head.

/facepalm

One back leg was also broken and Mr Tunbridge believes it may have been involved in a road collision and dispatched with a gun.

Yes, that's the Mr Tunbridge described in the news item as an 'Expert big cat tracker...'

Number of big cats tracked by Mr Tunbridge? Anyone want to guess?

And there's some amazing back-and-forth in the comments between the Big Cat Believers and, ummm, normal people.

Spot The Odd One Out!

2012-01-29T11:30:00.000Z

Campaigning began this week for Islington’s first-ever Youth Council as 24 candidates aged between 13 and 17 battle it out.

Maybe I’m being unfair. There’s another 12 to go…

Maybe Benefit Fraud Investigators Should Read Local Newspapers?

2012-01-29T10:25:00.000Z

Hmm....

"Dashing to the end of the road"

Then:

"Mr Nicholls, 35, who does not work because of disability"….

Admittedly, we don’t know what sort of disability. But if it’s a movement-based one, or agoraphobia, he’d be bang to rights, wouldn’t he?

H/T: Dave Ward via email

Yeah, Southend Is That Sort Of Place Now...

2012-01-29T09:30:00.002Z

Spellcheck is your friend...

Sunday Funnies

2012-01-29T08:30:00.000Z

Because life just isn't like the movies...

They Take False Claims Seriously In The Emerald Isle…

2012-01-28T14:10:00.000Z

The man who falsely accused X Factor judge Louis Walsh of groping him in a nightclub has been jailed for six months.

Leonard Watters, 24, pleaded guilty to making two false reports to Irish police that the pop music mogul sexually assaulted him in Dublin nightspot Krystle last April.

Wow! Compare the usually incredibly lax response to such claims here!

Pleading for a non-custodial sentence, Watters' solicitor, Cahir O'Higgins, said his client was a tragic figure whose life had been a litany of disasters from an early age.

I see ‘mitigation’s’ the same, though…

Passing sentence, Judge Dermot Dempsey immediately granted Watters bail to appeal against the decision, on condition that he lodged 100 euro (£83.50) in cash with the court.

Watters was now a laughing stock and a joke, and had been treated as a pariah in his own community, he told the court.

"For ever and a day, he will be known as the guy who accused Louis Walsh in the wrong," he said.

Can you imagine that being said about the usual inadequate or spiteful chavette who makes a false rape claim?

No, me neither.

H/T: Mark Wadsworth via email

The Guardian’s Most Misjudged Campaign Since ‘Operation Clark County Vote’…

2012-01-28T11:45:00.002Z

Zoe Williams on ‘dangerous dog panic’:

… there is a political subtext – as is so often the case – to the presentation of risk here, and it's not just because bulldog breeds are unusually tenacious and have powerful jaws.

Well, Zoe, sweetie, that’s definitely part of it.

I mean, if my neighbour mistreats his Chihuahua and makes it savage, a well placed kick will send it flying back into next door's garden. Not so with something that looks like a cross between an alligator and an overstuffed sofa…

People talk about "weapon dogs" without needing anything as coarse as evidence that the dog might be used as a weapon – all that really means is a burly staffordshire bull terrier with brass chest furniture in the company of young, ideally black, men.

‘Black’ men..? As her commenters point out, in most areas, this is mainly a white chav phenomenon, or - in a few - a Pakistani one.

But gotta get that ‘racism’ accusation in somewhere, eh, Zoe?

Animal charities often point out how much teenagers benefit from having something to care for, how it bolsters their independence and maturity…

Great! Let ‘em have a poodle, then. No?

Maybe ask yourself why that wouldn't do, eh Zoe?

"Really sociable, healthy dogs do get caught up in it, and there's nothing you can do," said an officer from the West Midlands police dangerous dogs unit, about to kill a beautiful tan pitbull that any dog lover would have rehomed in a heartbeat.

Ah, and here I part company with your later well-founded critiscisms of the DDA; this particular part, harsh as it may seem, was well thought out, because, you see, an animal raised in those conditions, with that initial start in life, will never, ever be trustworthy. The programme made me grateful no-one has yet invented Smell-O-Vision; most of the people couldn't look after themselves adequately, never mind an animal.

And it prevents soppy, soft-hearted animal lovers taking into their homes an animal that could be Lassie or Rin Tin Tin, or could be Cujo. No-one really knows.

Because, you see, these aren't inanimate objects like guns, that people like you seem to fear so irrationally. No gun ever loaded itself, left the house by jumping the fence and trotted off down the street to find a random stranger to shoot. And yet, people like Zoe go out of their minds when someone suggests that giving young people guns is a way of showing them how to handle responsibility..

These dogs are living things with minds of their own. Not always sane minds, even those well-bred and well treated, from sensible, responsible breeders.

The law serves no purpose in public protection, has not reduced the number of dog bites, and hasn't even reduced the number of pit bull-type dogs on the streets.

Mainly because there’s been a lack of – if you’ll pardon the pun – teeth? And because while the law was rushed through to grab headlines, no-one actually had the resources or the desire to crack down on then problem…

But this doesn't mean it hasn't had an impact: it has given a legislative framework to neighbours prosecuting grudges against one another.

What?!?

The dogs investigated on Death Row Dogs were local tip-offs, and all the dogs, on examination, were being mistreated by their owners. But a neighbour worried about animal cruelty would have called the RSPCA; the choice of the police as their authority of first resort suggests malice.

No, it suggests that the ‘cruelty’ the neighbour is worried about isn’t that done to the dog, but that the dog will undoubtedly mete out to any neighbouring cat/small dog/child.

Or even it’s owner’s child. These things aren’t fussy.

And I wonder if you’d dub it ‘malice’ were a concerned neighbour to report a gun, or racist taunting..?

Furthermore this law has made young people with any bull breed type the legitimate focus of disapprobation – in the London borough of Lewisham, the local paper, the News Shopper, ran a campaign last year to "shop a dog". No incident was required – you just saw one you didn't like the look of and shopped it. It suffices to say that spaniels didn't count.

And if it turned out not to be a banned breed, it was as safe from seizure as…well, as that spaniel, wasn’t it?

It would never be OK to say: "I'm afraid of young men, especially large groups of them, especially the ones without much money" – so in order to articulate that, these people are broken down into their constituent parts.

Who says it isn’t OK to say that? In most parts of London, it's a necessary survival trait!

It's not them you're afraid of, it's their dogs, or their hoods. And each rationalisation is justified on some generalised pretext – a criminal might wear a hood, ergo hoods suggest criminality; staffs have strong jaws, ergo all staffs are weapons. And that in itself is usually syllogistic – but it also has the effect, in reducing a person to his accessories, of dehumanising the person.

They seem to be doing a bang-up job of ‘dehumanising’ themselves…

Intellectually, it's interesting to watch how prejudice works, the circuitous routes it takes, its iatrogenic consequences. But as the owner of a staffie crossed with a ridgeback, it's not interesting, it's annoying.

Aha! And now we see part of the reason for her concern.

She is indeed that soppy animal lover who has given a place in her home to an animal cross-bred from two ancient hunting strains, one bred to harass angry bulls, the other to bring to bay African lions. And which, if it turned one day, she'd have no more chance of stopping than a runaway beer lorry.

She’s getting an almighty mauling (again) in the comments. Someone should really call the RSPCA. Or perhaps get a bucket of water…

Ah, That Frisson Of Anticipation!

2012-01-28T10:50:00.000Z

...you get when you look at a local newspaper thread and see this:

You know it's going to be a rich seam of chavtastic splendour:

Drivers watched in disbelief after a woman was punched during a row over a car parking space on the first day of the sales in Hull.

One woman punched another in the car park at Tesco in St Stephen's Shopping Centre as carloads of shoppers descended on the city centre for the Boxing Day sales.

So, safety ropes tied off, helmet on, let's go spelunking!

hcfchcfc

“Chavtastic!

Just think two teachers lost their jobs for correctly describing such types.

If it was caught on CCTV it would be interesting to see it on Look North.”

Yes, yes indeed it would...

CallMeSir

“Good old fashioned road rage, but as usual the HDM who never write anything positive about Hull try and act like this is unique to Hull, you couldn't make it up unless you write for the Mail.”

This is certainly true, as MacHeath points out, it seems to be unique to large shopping areas and sales, no matter where they are.

But as we know, a comment thread never really catches light until an involved party joins it, so...

Aha!

annonimous1

“for all your information!! first of all the git driving the car ran into me!! not once but twice!! then the passenger had the cheek to call me a fat sl*g!! ye ok i might be big but so what have most of you looked in the mirror? at least im trying to do something about it!! and as for what the mail has published is mostly lies due to the interfering woman from another car that just wanted to get a quick name for herself, and started offering me out! i'm not sorry, she got what she deserved, if she hadn't have insulted me in such a nasty way maybe she wouldn't have got a good hiding!! and when i told her not to call me that she grabbed me!! i was only defending myself.

anyone else got anything to say...?”

And we're off!

Is It All Just About Ticking The Boxes?

2012-01-28T09:40:00.000Z

Simon Leftley, corporate director for adult and community services at Southend council, said: “In many cases, particularly with the victims of domestic violence, many adults will refuse any offers of help or assistance.

“While we must respect the right of adults to make independent decisions about their lives, we also need to ensure that appropriate checks and balances are in place.”

Good luck squaring that circle, then, Mr Leftley.

Why not just accept some people cannot be helped, no matter what 'the authorities' do?

Or do really you just want to ensure that the i's are dotted and the t's crossed next time?

Six Of One, Half A Dozen Of The Other?

2012-01-27T14:35:00.000Z

Sometimes, it’s hard to tell…

Lee Edge was under the influence of drink when he targeted Everton Greaves, who was walking to his mother's house in Hanley.

Stoke-on-Trent Crown Court yesterday heard Mr Greaves was on Moorland Road, Burslem, when he saw three drunken men at 8.20pm on April 17 last year.

"One was the defendant and he shouted he wanted to the fight the complainant," said prosecutor David Bennett.

"He chased the complainant along Hanley Road shouting racist and homophobic insults and demanding his telephone.

"He punched him several times to the floor and continued to punch and kick him. The attack continued in the middle of the road."

The court heard Mr Greaves managed to get to his feet and sought refuge in a nearby garden. But Edge followed him into the garden and continued the attack.

Thus involving the householder:

Mr Bennett said the householder intervened and at one stage threatened to set his dog on Edge if he did not stop.

"Edge demanded a gold tooth (from Mr Greaves) and tried to knock it out. He punched him in the mouth and ran off. The complainant's mobile phone, worth £30, was taken," said Mr Bennett.

Well, well, well…

Mitigation will be awesome, I’m sure:

Anis Ali, mitigating, said Edge has a lot to learn regarding his inability to control aggression.

Errr, yes. You could say that!

He said the best mitigation was Edge's guilty plea, which spared Mr Greaves the ordeal of giving evidence and having it challenged.

Interesting comment. Just how could a fairly straightforward-seeming violent street robbery be ‘challenged’?

Mr Ali added: "He understands he has to adopt a more sensible attitude towards his life. He expresses a renewed sense of optimism towards his life. He understands he has to address his drinking habit."

Note, he just ‘understands’. There’s no indication he actually plans to DO any of these things!

Judge Paul Glenn told Edge the offence was aggravated by his homophobic and racist abuse.

Well, of course! I mean, the beating and robbery alone wasn’t half as bad otherwise…

In the comments, we see that people are no longer fooled by the headline, when it comes to sentencing:

by focusboy

“So, he's going to serve "up to" half the sentence, which makes it 2 years, and he's already done 210 days on remand which is taken in to account, so he's actually going to do a lot less than a year and a half.

I don't call that being "jailed for four years".”

Nor would anyone!

However, a clue to that odd claim by the defence pops into the comments:

by Danni_1991

“Before you judge this 'homophobic thug' please read this story

http://tinyurl.com/6n2m4ay

Then tell me if he is homophobic why is it that many of his friends are homosexual Yes he did do something wrong but i can tell you one thing for sure he is not homophobic

So get from behind your keyboards in your pretty little world and get to the real world . You people judge people far to quickly and if you have opened the link i have pasted above you will realise that Everton Greaves isnt the victim he makes out he is he is just as bad. Im not saying that what Lee did was right because it was far from right ! And he knows this. I will stand by whatever I say.”

That link leads to this story:

Everton Greaves committed a "sneak in" burglary at a house in Hamil Road, Burslem, at 6.30pm on Friday, April 26, Stafford Crown Court heard.

Prosecutor Neil Ahuja said one of the householders left her home with her boyfriend and his friend inside. She left the door closed but unlocked. But when she returned five minutes later she saw the defendant walking out her front door carrying three cans of lager with a jumper draped over them.

"She alerted her boyfriend and his friend and they began to follow the defendant," said Mr Ahuja.

"She continued to keep a view on Hamil Road. She saw the defendant come out an alleyway where he recovered about 20 CDs which had been taken from her house.

"Her boyfriend and his friend followed to a property in High Lane. When they went on the driveway to get the property back they saw the defendant holding a small knife."

The defendant went into the house and came out with a larger knife.

The police had already been called and they arrested the defendant.

Greaves, aged 43, now of Grove Place, Shelton, pleaded guilty to burglary and affray.

Well, well, well… I think this whole affair is what is commonly known as a ‘S**t on s**t attack’…

Interestingly, the defence clearly recycles the same old excuses – amazingly, drink is to blame for burglary too!

Peter McCartney, mitigating, said these offences were out of character for Greaves. "He drank too much," said Mr McCartney.

But was sober enough to steal lager and DVDs, and not, say, cushion covers?

That Told You!

2012-01-27T13:15:00.000Z

Sentencing has been adjourned while probation officers prepare a report on Kidd.

Kidd’s barrister Paul Williams said the prosecution did not have evidence as to Kidd’s motivation for the offences.

The judge said: “The court will form its own opinion.”

Heh!

And Oh, How I Wish I Could Believe They Won’t Fall For It Again…

2012-01-27T11:50:00.000Z

A burglar who was freed from prison because he had five children to look after is facing another jail term for assault.

Who’s shocked? Not me…

Jobless Bishop, who admitted he had ‘never thought’ the judges would free him, claimed at the time that he was ‘going straight’ for the sake of his children.

But just four weeks later he attacked a man in broad daylight after chasing him into a Spar supermarket.

A court heard yesterday how horrified shoppers looked on as Bishop repeatedly punched his victim in the head while his brother held him in a headlock.

Not that they needed to rely on eyewitnesses, since….yup, you guessed it:

Bishop, and his brother, unemployed bouncer Robert Wheelhouse, denied the assault at Nottingham Magistrates’ Court yesterday.

But they were found guilty after a judge saw CCTV of the incident and dismissed their account of events as ‘implausible and untrue’.

Still, at least he can’t try…

Oh. Oh, of course he can:

… last night his lawyer said Bishop planned to try to use his children to avoid jail once more.

Solicitor Timothy Holder said: ‘Wayne is still responsible for all his five children. We will be asking the court to take into account his responsibilities towards his childcare duties.’

Well, why not? It’ll probably work…

Guns Don’t Kill People, Novelty Calculators Kill P… Wait. What?

2012-01-27T10:55:00.000Z

Mr Ashley-Miller, who runs the gift shop The Present Finder, was stunned when officers descended on his warehouse and confiscated £1,140 of stock.

What sort of stock? Whoopee cushions? Fake dog poo?

They were seized after someone saw the toys on sale on The Present Finder's website and made a complaint to firearms police.

Detectives are currently in the process of assessing the 'weapons' to decide whether they must be destroyed or returned to the shop.

What sort of weapons….sorry, ‘weapons’ are we talking about?

The £6.50 'gun' calculator is in the form of a black pistol but clearly has a calculator keypad on the butt and an LCD display on the barrel. The user has to pull the trigger to calculate their sum.

*speechless*

Mr Ashley-Miller said two ‘burly’ police officers turned up at his premises and confiscated the toys, telling him it was illegal to sell a realistic imitation firearm under the Violent Crime Reduction Act 2006 before carrying £1,140 worth of stock to their police car.

Well, any competent solicitor worth his salt should be able to overturn that one then!

The 49-year-old, who has run The Present Finder in Sherborne with his wife Fiona for 11 years, said: 'It seems to me like an enormous waste of police time. We have been selling these toys for more than a year and we’ve never had any complaints about them.

'As far as I know they have never been mistaken for a real weapon. They are toys.'

Yes, only someone really, really simple could possibly mist…

Why, hi there!

Sergeant Ged Want, from Sherborne Police, said: 'Officers attended the Present Finder to liaise with staff and the two products were seized by us.

'We are in the process of liaising with our firearms licensing department in Dorchester to confirm the exact details of those weapons.

'It has not yet been decided how we are going to take it forward. The actual gun does look quite realistic. It may be that, on receipt of advice, we find there’s not a problem and they can be returned.

'Or they may be committing an offence. It’s always difficult to work out if our time is being wasted.'

No. No, it really, really isn’t.

'If we have concerns over a potential imitation weapon then we have to act. If it gets in the hands of someone who wants to use it in an illegal act, then it’s not wasting our time.'

Yes. Yes, it is.

Disfunction…

2012-01-27T09:05:00.000Z

A parent has been banned from going within 100 metres of her children's school by a court.

Kelly Nuttall has also been prevented from contacting a teaching assistant at the school after being issued with a restraining order.

Oh, great!

Clair Moss, prosecuting, told North Staffordshire Magistrates' Court: "Miss Reece had had considerable dealings with the defendant and they were frequently in meetings.

"The defendant began to constantly attend the school and ring up trying to speak to Miss Reece.

"She was also seen walking past the defendant's home address and a letter was delivered to Miss Reece's home.

"She was about to be spoken to by the police and faced the possibility of being given a harassment warning notice."

But the magistrates heard that Miss Reece called Staffordshire Police at 10.40pm on August 23 after hearing someone throw something at her Kia Rio car.

Officers attended the incident and carried out a search of the area. Nuttall was later arrested after saying: "Come and arrest me, she has ruined my life."

Errr….

Oh, that’s not the only offence, either:

Nuttall was also sentenced for two counts of theft after admitting stealing clothing and accessories worth £365 from Primark, in Hanley, on October 16.

OK, so… *deep breath* …what’s the ‘mitigation’?

Simon Dykes, mitigating, said Nuttall's emotional wellbeing led to her committing the offences.

Or, perhaps more accurately, her lack of it?

He said she was a victim of domestic violence in a previous relationship.

Which has….well, what bearing on this?

Mr Dykes said: "It was those issues which led to the relationship she formed with Sharon Reece.

"She felt Miss Reece was a good friend to her and was always there for her to open up to.

"She saw Sharon Reece as someone she could offload her problems on.

"But she later felt hurt, upset and betrayed."

Well, boo hoo!

Doesn’t she sound just like the sort of person who shouldn’t be allowed guardianship of children? I see there’s no mention of a husband or partner…

Magistrates sentenced Nuttall to a 12-month community order with supervision and a requirement to attend 16 sessions at Chepstow House, in Hanley, which aims to help women get their lives back on track.

Just ‘women’..?

Nuttall was also ordered to pay £200 compensation and £170 prosecution costs.

I note there’s no mention of a job, either. I guess we know who’ll be paying that…

Redefining ‘Racist Chanting’…

2012-01-26T14:25:00.001Z

Football fans suspected of chanting racist songs on a train back from an FA Cup match were arrested today in a series of dawn raids in south east London.

What ghastly things were they chanting?

Well, one of them (The only one? Or the only one the paper feels free to print?) is this:

The Charlton Athletic supporters are accused of chanting "There's only one Gary Dobson" in reference to the convicted killer of black teenager Stephen Lawrence.

Hmmm….

A public order offence, maybe, but a ‘racially aggravated’ one..?

SBONA* On The Rampage!

2012-01-26T13:05:00.000Z

A mob of up to 60 masked schoolboys, some of them armed, descended on a rival north London school to attack a pupil but were thwarted by police, it emerged today.

It took eight police cars. Eight! And were they grateful?

The mob, many wearing red bandanas, was headed off by police who arrested one of the youths, a 14-year-old boy, for allegedly possessing a knife. But as pupils streamed out of the school trouble flared between them and the officers who had come to ensure their safety, with two IAMS students being arrested for alleged harassment and threatening behaviour.

Just lovely…

Ms Osagie (IAMS headteacher) added that a decision on whether the two arrested IAMS students would also face school disciplinary action would be made next week.

It’s something you need to think about?!? What sort of school is this?

A recent Ofsted inspection praised it as "good" with "many outstanding features". It said that it was a confident school embracing a wide range of cultures and languages.

Ah. Say no more.

* SchoolBoys Of No Appearance

PCSOs Overstep The Bounds Again…

2012-01-26T11:45:00.000Z

The three-man tent cost £100 and was donated to vagrant Justin Hicks, 35, by members of We Are Witney.

Ahhh, the ‘Big Society’ in action! How noble.

And how ultimately futile…

Mr Hicks had been sleeping in the tent behind the Windrush Leisure Centre, in Witan Way, for a week.

The leisure centre contacted police and two PCSOs removed the tent on Tuesday.

The majority of the tent was found by the leisure centre’s bins, but some poles were found in the bin itself.

*sigh*

Thames Valley Police admitted yesterday that clearing material from private property was not a police matter.

Well, that’s OK, it wasn’t ‘real’ police that did this, was it?

Inspector Helen Roberts, of Witney police, said: “The police received a call from the Windrush Leisure Centre on Tuesday regarding a tent that had been pitched on their land behind the centre for a week and the rubbish accumulating around it.

“There were no personal belongings or occupier with the tent and enquiries to find an owner proved negative so it was dismantled and placed at the location for the owner to collect later.”

It wasn’t just ‘dismantled’, according to Mr Hicks; it was broken, and his Bible and medication were missing. If it had been a Koran, would it have similarly gone missing, I wonder?

Police spokesman Adam Fisher said: “In hindsight this does not really appear to be a police issue.”

No, indeed. So, what compensation will you be paying the people who bought the tent for Mr Hicks, and what action will you be taking to discipline your fakeofficers?

In Which I Praise Social Services*…

2012-01-26T10:50:00.000Z

Prosecutor Heather Chamberlin said the "extremely unpleasant" attack on Mr Orlowski happened after he had arrived a few minutes late with the baby.

Bould left the room to go to the toilet and his sister put on the kettle to make tea. While Bould was out, Mr Orlowski broached the subject of arranging the final contact visit.

Mr Orlowski then heard the kettle click again. Suddenly, he became aware of somebody standing over him.

Miss Chamberlin said: "He described simply feeling heat and Bould shouting at him, 'Come on'.

"He got to his feet and made his way to the door. He pushed Bould out of the way and raised the alarm."

Mr Orlowski was rushed to hospital in immense pain. The court heard he has since made a remarkable physical recovery and returned to work with Staffordshire County Council, yet he is still haunted by the psychological effects of the attack.

Jesus!

Bould was arrested in Leek later that day, although he was unable to be interviewed because of his mental state.

The reasons for the involvement of social services are becoming much clearer!

The court was told how he had suffered a debilitating stroke as a teenager after being attacked by a gang of youths.

Curiouser and curiouser…

Jason Holt, mitigating, said: "He is all but mute, save for a few words and words that are said in heightened emotion."

Such as when scalding a man almost to death?

Bould had become involved with another stroke victim and they had a child together before splitting up.

Social services became concerned and the baby was made the subject of a child protection order.

"Any issue of neglect was not intentional. It was the by-product of their disabilities," said Mr Holt.

And in this instance, Social Services are – quite rightly – doing their job. Because Bould wasn’t just guilty of a momentary loss of temper with the authorities…

Bould, aged 22, of Queens Drive, Leek, was yesterday sentenced to a total of 33 months in prison by a judge at Stoke-on-Trent Crown Court.

He had pleaded guilty to causing grievous bodily harm to the social worker on September 16, 2010, and a separate offence of attempted arson on his ex-partner's car while it was parked in St Edward Street, Leek, on May 29, 2010.

But as Bould has spent so long on remand, he was eligible for immediate release.

*sigh*

Comments are illuminating:

by Backdoored
“"He looks like a very evil man. -by LewisL

Not to me he doesn't. He looks sad. Very sad. Sad, like a little lost child. He's lonely, lost and in need of treatment. Save the punishment for the mature and able -who cunningly rip off old ladies in a premeditated manner.

This awful act of scalding a person -was almost certainly done on the spur of the moment. A result of a burst of uncontrolled violent anger brought on by a sense of injustice -Because he couldn't accept that the Social Worker was acting in the best interests of his daughter.

By failing to understand why the Social Worker was left with no alternative -shows clearly that he is unable to communicate in a normal and reasonable manner. That's why he needs treatment. He's lost the plot, and certainly won't find it in the nick -if anything it'll make him worse... bitter.

Can you even get worse that deliberately scalding a man?

But there’s always someone keen to excuse even this, and blame someone else:

by chacha28

“you all say he needs shooting, gasin ect,ect get a life, you obviously dont know what its like to love and loose a child, through no fault of his own he had a stroke at the age of 16, which he was victimised about by the social services, not once did they give him a chance or offer to help him in anyway, he fought for his daughter, when a lot of dads out there dont care in anyway, they decided before she was even born that she was going to be taken away, but still let him visit her everyday, unsupervised might i add, and to fall in love with her unconditionally, then cruelly took her away, imagine how YOU would feel if that was YOUR child, find out the REAL facts before you start judging him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Yes, it’s all the fault of the government. But no, wait! It’s actually all the fault of the girlfriend!

by chacha28

“LIDASTRESS- what gives you the right to comment like that, "OMG, his girlfriend needs a white stick and his child need genetic modification, he just needs a box 6 by 2 pine."

firstly if you knew his girlfriend you wouldnt comment like that, she is the most vile person i have ever met, ok, he fell in love with the wrong person but he is goin to be punished for that for the rest of his life, so find out the rest of the story before you go judging people like that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
she is the reason his daughter was taken away, so ***** about her, not for a father who wasnt given a chance to care for his daughter because he was victimised for havin a stroke, his daughter was taken from him and it broke his heart, there was nothing he could do about it, imagine if it was you and one of your kids, you wouldnt be happy and you'd do anything and i mean ANYTHING, so just THINK, the next time you think its ok to open your mouth about things that dont concern you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

That invites more comments, which incite these charmless pair to even greater fury:

by sann1234

“makes me so sad too read all these comments on this story and people judging this poor young lad, cause not a single 1 of u even know him dnt no wat hes been threw in my eyes this young lad was serving time for his daughter in which he cared very much for so as for u lot who sed he needs gasin and needs shootin take a bit of time too think how he was feeling at the time wen he daughter was been taken away. theres not a chance of this happing again not that its any of any 1 business. all sat there thinking u have the right too judge this young lad well its wrong cause he threw sum water over a socail worker. and yeah i will stick up for this young lad cause in my eyes hes done time for his daughter and the hard time in his life that was at that time!”

There, see! He just ‘threw sum water’. That’s all…

by sann1234

“hello iffyminty can u read the paper proplery he had his daughter taken off his because he had a stoke at the age of 16 and it was due too his disabilites the baby was taken. yes i do beileve he did av the babys interest at heart it obviously broke his heart that much and was unable too sit down and talk too sum 1 because he has limted speech because of his stoke!!!!and needed too take his anger out on sum 1 u sort of people who are up ur own **** wudnt no wat its like for sum 1 like this young had a stoke wen he was very young and goin threw hell!! u just all sit there judging people cause nuufin gos wrong in ur life ur all that perfect pppfft dnt judge people wen u dnt no the half of it u olny no bits wat the paper has put in u havnt got a clue!!!”

See, he ‘needed too take his anger out on sum 1’. Why is everyone making such a big deal out of it?

by Thisisme

“It is very sad that the child had to be taken into care, but with a father who has such a way of dealing with negative things in his life, we might find that a future newspaper might be telling us about the tragedy of a scalded baby. The child may at least now have the chance of a more stable life than her biological father might be able to provide, sad though it is to say.”

Sadly, I think you’re right. I also think we haven’t seen the last of him, either.

* Normal service will no doubt be resumed.

Remind Me Again? The Point Of ASBOs Was..?

2012-01-26T09:20:00.000Z

A homeless man who threatened staff at Winchester’s hospital has been jailed for nine weeks.

Otto Bingeris, of the Night shelter, Jewry Street, Winchester, pleaded guilty to threatening behaviour at the Royal Hampshire County Hospital on January 3.

On the one hand, a welcome sentence, but…

Magistrates at Winchester heard the incident was his sixth breach of an antisocial behaviour order since it was imposed in Guildford last March.

His sixth?

Why not his second, or his fourth? Why does he get five more chances to make a nuisance of himself?

Puzzling Story…

2012-01-25T14:45:00.000Z

A minibus driver was taken away for a "mental health assessment" after police stopped him as he ferried vulnerable passengers through Brentwood.

Whoops!

The Community Link bus, run by Essex County Council and which transports adults needing social care, was pulled over in Western Road, near its junction with William Hunter Way, and later driven away by officers – with passengers still on board and passers-by looking on.

Curious indeed.

The county council has confirmed the driver was provided through another company, Capita Resourcing, which arranges temporary staff, but failed to give public reassurances that there would not be a repeat of the police intervention, on Monday last week.

Why would they need to do so? Surely this man won’t be driving for them again?

And why did this arise? Did a passenger or a member of the public raise concerns?

It seems not:

A police spokesman said: "We were called by the Metropolitan Police shortly before 3.30pm on Monday, January 16, following concerns for a 47-year-old man from East London who was driving a minibus.

"Essex police officers located the minibus in Western Road, took the driver into police custody and he was later taken to a mental health assessment centre."

Even curiouser…

Neither the county council or police revealed what sparked the concerns.

Which doesn’t help. Because now everyone’s free to draw their own (possibly erroneous) conclusions.

Blaming The (Ginger) Victim..

2012-01-25T13:25:00.000Z

A mum claims bullies have forced her 12-year-old ginger-haired son out of school.

Emma Walsh says she will not let her middle child, Tyler, return to Yate International Academy following an attack last week.

Ms Walsh alleges that Tyler has been a target for bullies ever since he started secondary school 18 months ago, because of his hair colour and because he is keen to learn.

I wonder which is the greater spur to the rabble, the latter, or the former?

Naturally, this being 21st century Britain, the notion that the thugs themselves be punished and removed from the school is anathema. No, it must be the victim:

She is angry that the school's response to the latest incident was to suspend the attacker for one day – and to suggest that her son attend its pupil inclusion unit, for vulnerable students.

That’s a brilliant wheeze to get around the problem of having too many excluded pupils, isn’t it? Keep them in school, and ‘exclude’ everyone else within school grounds!

Tyler, who is in Year 8, was set upon by some Year 10 students and chased into a toilet cubicle where he "freaked out" and had to be rescued by a Year 11 student.

Ms Walsh, 33, a full-time mother, of Wellstead Avenue, said her son had been extremely distressed by the incident, which she had been told happened after the perpetrator "had a bad day" and took it out on the first person he came across.

Awwww, bless! We can’t possibly punish him, can we, if he’s having a bad day, poor little lamb…

"I don't feel my son will be safe at school so I am keeping him at home until he can start at another school next week. I will be tutoring him at home."

Ms Walsh said the academy had told her it would not send work home for Tyler because it was felt that this would be condoning his absence.

"It is like they are punishing him," she said.

No, it’s not ‘like’ they are punishing him – they are punishing him!

Mr Gilbert said in a statement: "Having taken account of all persons' views in this matter the academy has managed the issues raised in accordance with our clearly defined policies and protocols. This has included seeking clarifications from external bodies such as the Education Welfare Service."

Perfect! Who cares that your school is now a laughing stock, you ‘followed procedure’. You must be so proud…

Forcing The Police To Act In The Internet Age…

2012-01-25T11:45:00.000Z

A woman is urging the police to take action after her puppy was killed by another dog.

Kate Nutbourne, 19, from Ryde, on the Isle of Wight, was walking her 12-week-old cockapoo on Appley beach when it was attacked by a "muscular" dog.

She said: "All of a sudden it went for him, crushed his skull, shook him like a rabbit and broke his neck."

On Friday, a police spokeswoman said it was still an open investigation.

Is that open as in ‘we’re actively pursing it’ or open as in ‘well, technically, we haven’t got around to binning it just yet’..?

She added: "While we can't do anything under section three of Dangerous Dogs Act, because there wasn't an attack on a human, we are taking statements from the dog owners to see exactly what happened and establish whether there was an offence under any other part of the act."

Which didn’t seem to be a concern of the first responders:

Ms Nutbourne said when she first reported the attack on Wednesday afternoon she was told there was nothing that could be done about a dog on dog attack even though the owner of the two year-old Staffordshire bull terrier was standing close by and had refused to put his animal on a lead.

"The only real advice we've been given is that we'll have to make a private prosecution, which we can't afford to do," she added.

"It makes me really angry."

Yes, me too. Luckily, there’s a happy ending, of sorts:

A dog which killed a puppy on a beach on the Isle of Wight has been put down, police have confirmed.

The beast was – apparently – voluntarily surrendered to police.

Insp Kelvin Shipp, from Ryde police, said: "I have visited the puppy's owners and they are happy with our actions.

"We have been actively pursuing lines of inquiry since Wednesday and our inquiries are continuing to establish if any further offences have been committed."

Possibly, though, not those committed by the offending dog owner!

Police have also refuted reports in the media and on social media sites claiming they had not taken action.

Well, well, well…

Truth hurts, doesn’t it? Initially, you didn’t take any action, preferring to fob off the injured party with references to civil litigation.

It was only when she started up an internet campaign and started getting media attention that you sprang into action. So don't be surprised when this starts happening more and more...

So, Suddenly, Ignorance Of The Law IS An Excuse?

2012-01-25T10:45:00.001Z

Dallas told her fellow jurors she discovered that Medlock had previously been accused, and acquitted, of rape - information not given during the trial.

Her actions caused the collapse of Barry Medlock's grievous bodily harm trial at Luton Crown Court, the High Court was told yesterday.

Just another dumb juror?

Theodora Dallas, 34, said the judge spoke 'too formally and softly' for her to understand.

She told the High Court that she had 'no intention' to 'influence' the jury but had struggled to understand what the trial judge was saying.

Yup, probably unemployed (or unemployable), or a minimum wage cleaner or shopgirl or…

Oh:

Dallas, a psychology lecturer at the University of Bedfordshire…

/facepalm

'We submit that the reason that she did it was to influence other members of the jury, she did this deliberately in a calculated manner in the face of protest from other jurors,' Mr Grieve said

He added: 'The jury officer, the judge, the notices placed all over the jury area and in the retiring room all make reference explicitly to the internet.'

Quite! It’s hard to see how that excuse is going to fly, but full marks to the defence for persevering with it:

Charles Parry, defending, said that the warnings of the judge were more like 'a godfather giving advice to a child rather than with emphasis.'

It sounds like even a child would have been able to comprehend. Maybe someone should take another look at her qualifications?

Meanwhile, in bucolic Yorkshire:

Police fighting to stop Eastern European migrants binge drinking in the street have put up posters in seven different languages saying that alcohol is banned.

Officers in Armley, West Yorkshire, had the message translated into Slovak, Czech, Polish, Russian, Latvian and Lithuanian. It is also written in English.

It’s nice to see English there, even if it is as an afterthought…

Inspector Mark Wheeler, senior neighbourhood officer for Armley, said that reports of street drinking in the area had been 'on the increase due to Eastern Europeans coming and not fully understanding the regulations.'

So, who cares? Just bang ‘em up!

They brought in the signs so people cannot plead for leniency claiming they could not read the English signs.

Do you suppose English people caught committing crimes abroad can claim leniency on the grounds they couldn’t read the signs?

No, me neither. Maybe they have more intelligent judges over there?

H/T: CJ Nerd via email

Surely This Is Sex Discrimination?

2012-01-25T09:15:00.000Z

A notorious prostitute who was the first to be given an ASBO in Blackburn has had the order extended.

Natasha Coker, 25, has already been jailed after numerous breaches of the conditions - originally imposed for soliciting in January 2010.

At Blackburn Magistrates’ Court on Friday, Coker, of no fixed address, had the ASBO extended for a further two years.

So, ASBO didn’t work, jailing for breach of the ASBO didn’t work. Maybe this time, nothing will work.

So, let’s try it!

Sgt Kevin Jones from the Blackburn North West Neighbourhood Policing Team said: “We have tried to work with Coker but her refusal to engage with the support we have offered leaves us with no other option than to extend the length of the Order.

“If she continues this behaviour she will risk a custodial sentence and I hope she uses this as an opportunity to rehabilitate herself and get her life back on track.”

She’s already had custodial sentences. Weren’t you listening?

Lancashire Police launched an initiative in 2009 where educational courses were offered to both street sex workers and kerb crawlers on first arrest in Blackburn.

The course costs £75 for men and is free for women. It aims to raise awareness of the law around prostitution, the dangers, health risks and the impact of their behaviour on the community.

Errr, hang on. Why the discrepancy?

It's presumably seen as a 'punishment' for men, while a 'valuable service' for streetwalkers, I take it?

This Is Major League Extracting Of The Urine, Even By Liverpool Standards!

2012-01-24T13:10:00.001Z

The mother of a four-year-old boy who was savaged and killed by an illegal breed of dog has written to the Prime Minister calling for a change in the law.

A four-year-old boy mauled to death by a..? Could it be..?

Why, yes! Amazingly, it is!

Wait, wait…

*gets popcorn*

OK, go ahead! What’s the change you are demanding, hmm? Chav families to be unable to own dogs, perhaps?

She said she had written to the Prime Minister calling for tougher dog laws which would see them muzzled both in public places and in owners' homes.

I…

I’m sorry? All dogs?

Mrs Smith’s elderly Pomeranian? Mr Granger’s arthritic old Peke? They should all be muzzled 24/7/365 in their own homes because you let your four-year-old get eaten by your own family dog, FFS?

John-Paul's mother Angela McGlynn told BBC Breakfast that the family believed Uno was an American bulldog and they were not aware of any dangerous dog lists.

*speechless*

It’s a wonder you weren’t hounded (pardon the pun) off the set by incredulous laughter...

Ms McGlynn added muzzling dogs indoors as well as outdoors was the only way to stop dogs doing "any lasting damage".

Oh, well, why listen to common sense and expert opinion when you can be lectured on responsible courses of action by people (and I use that word advisedly) like these?

She said she had received a reply from David Cameron, who said her proposals would be "taken into consideration".

Yes, well, something you are probably too dim to realise is that it’s the polite, Whitehall way of saying ‘Yes, dear…’ before it gets filed in the round file.

No doubt after the office staff have had a good laugh at your chutzpah…

She said: "All I want to do is raise pet awareness basically, because you do think when the dog is brought up as part of the family it becomes part of the furniture and you don't expect it, and it did happen, and it does happen and it doesn't have to happen. It's not down to the owners. I know some dogs are mistreated but some dogs aren't and they do turn and I would just say rather safe than sorry, really."

Oh, on that, you’re quite right. I think the world would be a far better place without indiscriminate breeding and training of the young to be unsociable dangerous nuisances.

When do we wise up and start to fit muzzles to the likes of you?

Reality Shows – Dangerous To Your Health?

2012-01-24T11:50:00.000Z

Well, apparently, if you are a NHS worker:

More patients and visitors are attacking staff at Staffordshire's biggest hospital every year.

Latest figures show 165 workers were assaulted at the University Hospital of North Staffordshire in 2010/11.

That is up from 105 in 2008/09 and 148 in 2009/10.

And this is the fault of fly-on-the-wall TV? Really?

Union leaders today blamed the rise on gritty fly-on-the-wall television documentaries, which can glorify clashes with the emergency services.

In just what way do they ‘glorify’ them? Pretty much every one I’ve ever seen – and I don’t watch that many – makes it quite clear that this is unacceptable.

You’d have to be a complete moron to think…

Oh, wait.

Unison branch spokesman Geoff Wilson said: "The vast majority of sensible people watch these documentaries and are horrified if they see nurses, police, firefighters and ambulance workers being attacked simply for doing their jobs.

"But there are a worrying few out there who watch someone being hit in other parts of the country and then think it's all right for them to get one back at what they see as authority when they need emergency services in North Staffordshire.

"We are more than happy with how our local health trusts are doing their best to protect staff, but what you do about people copying what they see on television is another matter."

In other words, you can’t find a way to blame the health trusts for this, so you’re going after TV companies? How about you go after the people that actually do it?

Because I rather doubt they are rabid reality tv watchers anyway, at least, not that sort of reality tv.

Managers have put the rise in attacks down to staff being more willing to report incidents.

Urged by their union, no doubt. So….maybe they should be taking their share of the blame?

Why not? After all, it makes about as much sense as blaming Channel 4 or the BBC…

Reading Between The Lines…

2012-01-24T10:35:00.000Z

School rules and chav haircuts again. Let’s see what the papers say, shall we?

Ms Burgin, 31, of Netherfield, said she had been told Jake could return to school, but would be placed in isolation until his hair has changed in accordance with school policy.

"I'm not sending him to school to sit in isolation. I don't see that he has done anything wrong. Yet he is being punished for it," said Ms Burgin, who has three other sons, Chace, eight, Che, six, Gage, three, who all go to Netherfield Primary School. The family say they have met representatives from Carlton le Willows but they haven't been able to come up with a solution.

Translation: ‘It’s so unfair! They ain’t backing down, like they oughta, innit?’

Jake returned to school on Friday after his dad Andrew Hayday, 37, of Colwick, met head teacher Craig Weaver to discuss the issue. Ms Burgin then received a letter from Mr Weaver on Saturday.

Translation: ‘Psst! Commenters! Look, father & mother have different names! Feel free to speculate…’

Jake's grandmother, Lynn Loach, 51, of Gedling, added: "Jake wears the uniform properly every day. He's had a difficult time in the last couple of years. Now he has been sent home for doing nothing wrong."

Translation: ‘I’m alluding to some ‘issues’ in the family to gain sympathy, but I’m not telling the papers just what they are, in case the commenters go against us.. ’

In a statement, Mr Weaver said: "It is entirely appropriate for Carlton le Willows to have a uniform policy. Our policy on uniform, by its very definition, requires pupils to be generally 'conventional' in terms of their dress and appearance. This high standard helps to set an appropriate tone at the academy.

"The vast majority of parents ensure that their child or children come to school in accordance with our requirements.

"However, parents, of course, do have freedom, under the School Admissions Code, to send their children to a school of their choosing, assuming that is the school is not full, where different procedures apply.''

Translation: ‘Here are the rules you signed up to. Fit in, or f**k off!’

Finally Getting Tough?

2012-01-24T09:05:00.000Z

Lauren Barrington-Brown, 19, of Livingstone Road, Thornton Heath, who became a mum just before the New Year, wept as she was sentenced to 33 months detention at Croydon Crown Court on Friday January 6 alongside 16 and 15 year old girls who cannot be named.

The three were charged with false imprisonment, actual bodily harm and administering poison, namely fire, with intent to injure after carrying out a brutal attack on the 13-year-old girl in Grangewood Park, Thornton Heath on June 9, 2010.

Wow! Normally, the combined ‘pussy pass’ plus ‘expectant mum pass’ would have almost certainly seen her freed with a suspended sentence.

The crime must have been pretty appalling:

Her hair was cut and burned, blistering her head, her arm was cut with a tile, she was trapped in a bush barefoot and told to crawl out, spat upon and hit with a brick before being freed.

They then threatened her family would be attacked if she reported them.

And this was all over what?

The attack was launched because they believed the victim was spreading rumours about the 16-year-old described by Judge Pratt as “the prime mover.”

Ah. Of course. Just another day among the feral underclass…

In mitigation the lawyers defending both Barrington-Brown and the 15-year-old argued they were afraid of this girl, who pleaded not guilty to the charges but was convicted at a trial in November 2011.

Yes, well, that’s not really much of an excuse, is it?

Now We Know The Price For Sticking Two Fingers Up At A Court...

2012-01-23T13:20:00.003Z

He was also fined £100 after driving himself to court for an earlier court hearing into the matter, despite still having no insurance, and was banned from driving for six years.

Yes, he got the top end of the sort of sentence allowed for this, but I'm not sure that's very much comfort for the families.

The Intellectual Might Of The Left, In All Its Glory...

2012-01-23T11:45:00.000Z

One of the delights of Twitter is the 'ReTweet' functionality, whereby people you are following can bring to your notice something said by someone they are following.

And so, I received a retweet from someone claiming that the phrase 'derp' (or sometimes, 'herp derp'), often used to indicate something particularly foolish, was - oh, horror of horrors! - 'disablist', as it poked fun at the 'intellectually disabled'. We were all commanded not to use it.

Intrigued, I took a look at the bio of the person claiming this. Yes, it was as I expected...

What was interesting, and enlightening though, as you can see from the image, is her method of dealing with people who disagreed with her bald statement of fact, and presented links to definitions of the term and the source of the meme itself to back that up:

Yup! She promptly blocked them.

This is the Twitter equivalent of sticking your fingers in your ears and going 'La la la la I CAN'T HEAR YOU la la la...'

Which, given that most of her interlocutors were of the left themselves, proved something of an object lesson for them...

It's nice to see the fledgling left get a glimpse of their heroes (heroines?) with their panties on display, isn't it? Let's hope it provides an object lesson.

And They Say ‘CSI’ Is Too Far Fetched…

2012-01-23T10:35:00.000Z

An apparent murder case which remained unsolved for nearly 25 years has been closed after investigators concluded that a six-year-old boy was killed by a pack of dogs in a tragic accident.

Which, given cause of death was apparently strangulation, is quite a feat!

The case was twice investigated and then closed, but a new investigation from the FBI and North Carolina police used cutting-edge technology to determine that Nicholas could have been strangled by animals, not by a human.

I’m all ears:

They have concluded that the boy was attacked by dogs while he was walking his own pet, a collie which was in heat - which police believe attracted the other dogs.
The dogs pulled on the hoodie he was wearing, tightening it around his neck and choking off his air supply.

Riiiiiight….

Forensic experts used new photographic technology to examine the marks on Nicholas' neck, and compare them to the fabric of his clothing.

Thus, surely, only proving that he was strangled with the cord, not whodunit?

They also decided that scratches found on Nicholas' body were probably inflicted by dogs.

Which, since he had two dogs with him, who might well have pawed his unresponsive body, doesn’t really prove anything either.

Is it me? Or would this one not even make it out of the scriptwriter’s initial coffee and doughnuts meeting?

Yeah, That’ll Work. Like A Charm…

2012-01-23T08:50:00.000Z

Halliday appeared at Southend Magistrates’ Court and admitted possessing quantities of cocaine, heroin and methadone and using threatening behaviour as she argued with her former partner in Guildford Road, Southend, on September 24 last year.

Mitigation will be good, I’m sure.

A court heard Dionne Halliday, 26, was turning her life around for the sake of her son and unborn child.

Oh, here it comes..

The single mother…has since moved to Meadow Road, Barking, in a bid to turn her back on her old lifestyle.

Brilliant idea! There’s no drugs in Barking, or drug addicts!

Helen Walsh, mitigating, said: “The last few months have been very stressful for Miss Halliday, who had been in an abusive relationship for eight months. It culminated in, not long before Christmas, her former partner holding her hostage for nine days.”

Mrs Walsh added: “The drugs were in her possession, but she didn’t intend to use them. She felt that she had to look after them for her partner at the time.”

Yes, I too believe that she was just ‘holding them for a friend’. Perhaps I should be a magistrate?

I Guess The Wikipedia Blackout Will Take The Blame..?

2012-01-22T11:35:00.001Z

For anyone who doesn't remember, it was ONE tiger that escaped and there was no crowd, it being late at night. It was in San Francisco, though, so they at least got that right...

Meanwhile, at the Goulburn Post, a terrifying new threat from dangerous dogs - a vicious massage:

Unless they meant Shih Tzu Maltese cross..?

Term Of The Week At 'This Is Essex'...

2012-01-22T10:55:00.000Z

...is clearly 'squared up to'. Which, thinking about it, is probably right...

The Vehicle Of The Future!

2012-01-22T09:25:00.002Z

..is a killer! At least, according to the 'Fail':

Michael Knight never had that sort of trouble with KITT!

Sunday Funnies

2012-01-22T08:40:00.002Z

Maybe the NHS isn't so bad after all....

Well, Of Course They Are Laughing At The Law…

2012-01-21T13:40:00.000Z

… sickening scenes outside court today saw yob Daniel Chrapkowski wildly celebrate avoiding jail for a drunken attack which left an innocent bystander in hospital for a month.

Who is surprised? Not me…

… his lout friend Thomas Lane swore and squared up to photographers, after both were given non-custodial sentences by a judge.

Thus providing great photo opportunities.

The two thugs, along with a third man, Oliver O'Neill, 23, had battered Joseph O'Reilly, 24, after he had dared to ask why they were kicking over wheelie bins in Manchester city centre.

The drunken gang proceeded to savagely set about Mr O'Reilly, who was punched, knocked to the floor and kicked in the face and stomach before the cowardly trio fled.

During the brutal beating, one of the gang boasted: 'I've just been let out for GBH' before Mr O'Reilly was knocked to the floor then repeatedly kicked about the head.

And it wasn’t an idle boast, either. He had.

So, what about mitigation? It must have been good, right?

In mitigation for jobless Chrapkowski, defence counsel Miss Katie Jones said: 'He is extremely remorseful and wishes to apologise to the court. It is extremely out of character in a misguided attempt to protect his friend. '

Suuuuuuuure it’s out of character. Choirboys always hang around with scum, everyone knows that…

For sign writer Lane, Paul Hodgkinson said: 'He accepts he had been out drinking and engaging in tomfoolery - kicking around bins and that they were confronted.

'He became embroiled in an argument with a member of the public which he shouldn't have done but that mischief doesn't cross the custody threshold.'

So, participating in beating a man nearly to death is now ‘tomfoolery’?

No, Judge, It’s Not The Demon Drink…

2012-01-21T11:55:00.001Z

…it’s the fact that the chippy little s**t thinks that he’s above the law. Something you’ve just helped to confirm:

Thug Omar Javid has walked free from court despite attacking four police officers in a shocking drunken spree.

The 21-year-old, of Kingsholm, grabbed one PC by the throat, kicked another two and then lashed out at a fourth, telling him he would go to his house and "beat him up".

And what prompted this?

It came after he was stopped in the city centre for making pig noises at officers.

And the little idiot clearly didn’t care who saw this:

But a group of around 10 to 15 people filmed the fracas outside Liquid nightclub in Eastgate Street, Gloucester, resulting in him appearing at Gloucester Magistrates Court.

Whoops! Bet he thought he’d get a starring role in a YouTube video rather than a starring role in the dock.

Javid, of Hyde Close, denied four charges of assaulting a constable in the execution of his or her duty.

That was never going to fly. The camera doesn’t lie.

At the trial he claimed the snorts were directed at a group of girls.

/facepalm

And it seems this is partially caused by another of those stop and searches that cause so much pain to the ‘innocent’…

Police checked his documents while he sat in his car the night before the incident on September 24.

He said he felt unfairly targeted because of that, and only wanted to establish with police why they wanted his name.

So, a simple question would have sufficed.

District Judge Martin Brown found Javid, a student, guilty of all four charges.

"This should never have happened and would probably not have happened were you sober," he said.

Riiiiighht. It was the booze wot dun it, clearly.

Javid was put under a six week curfew from 7pm to 7am, ordered to pay £100 compensation each to PC Tutton and PC Gibbon and make a contribution of £300 to prosecution costs.

Big deal. Given he's a student, who's paying it anyway?

No, The Kid’s Aren’t Alright…

2012-01-21T10:45:00.000Z

Bafta-nominated Adam Deacon, 28, star of Kidulthood, was due to give a talk at Woodbridge High School in Redbridge.

Deacon grew up on a Hackney council estate and is seen as a role model after becoming an acclaimed writer, director, actor and rapper.

Perfect! Just what the kiddiewinks need as a role model, eh? You can keep your bank managers, your scientists, your front-line firefighters/nurses/policemen. What sort of role model are they?

No, it’s got to be someone who’s achieved fame…

He said: "I got a call from my manager saying the headteacher had seen the type of films that I make and cancelled without doing any research into what I'm about.

"Anyone who knows anything about me will know that I've only ever been about positivity and motivating the youth. I do school talks on a monthly basis all around London. We've only ever had a good feedback from the students and the teachers."

So, how did the pupils take this?

Angry pupils used the BlackBerry Messenger service and Twitter to claim a protest was taking place.

You say ‘protest’, I say ‘riot’…

One pupil who identified herself as Zoe, 12, claimed she saw 50 children taking part outside the school. She said: "They were running around and getting into big groups. Someone from year six threw a brick and smashed a window and people were running around screaming and shouting."

Hard to tell it was anything other than a normal school day there, really…

The head went into damage-limitation mode:

Headteacher Andrew Beaumont denied any protests had taken place. He said: "Woodbridge High School can confirm that a visit by the actor Adam Deacon had been arranged by a member of staff at very short notice this week but unfortunately I had to cancel the visit.

"This was to ensure the correct checks and procedures were followed as is the case when any external speaker visits the school. As a result some pupils at the school were disappointed."

In the comments, we see just how that ‘disappointment’ manifests itself.

What these comments show (assuming they are from genuine pupils) is the massive entitlement and arrogance of today’s generation:

I think that people are being really unfair to the Woodbridge students ! People are tarnishing us with the same brush , not all of the students have been protesting . I dont think that its really the teachers fault . The teachers had no idea when and where the protests were going to happen and there was over a thousand students against under 15 teachers . All of the stories about bricks being thrown through windows are lies ! Our head-teacher has a reason to deny the protests because there are too many stories to believe ! Although , i do think that the students of Woodbridge are doing it because the opportunity is there. Its not really for other people to comment about since they obviously dont know what happened .

- Woodbridge Student, London, 19/01/2012 20:58

*gets popcorn*

The actions carried out by the school were totally unfair and unjust, yes I do agree maybe some aspect of his films do play negativity but HELLO he's an actor, Woodbridge should of done previous research of the charity work he does and the speeches he does on a monthly basis! Poor planning by Woodbridge not a surprise... I can confirm that there WERE disturbances by outraged pupils and these were shown by the bricks thrown in windows, fire alarms going off and the teachers getting trampled! I do feel for Adam as now he will be p***** as ever but the fact that there was a buzz around school that Adam was coming and that's all what I could hear from every corridor. It was really exciting for students, given that we have exams and all. But the problem is that there is poor communication within Woodbridge, the lack of communication disappoints many of us sixth formers. Adam will never come to Woodbridge and nor will any external speaker. The only external visitor that we will get is Ofsted.

- Woodbridge sixth form student, London, 19/01/2012 17:53

And what a tough job they are going to have to avoid putting this school in special measures...

Mr Andrew Beaumont, Head teacher at Wood bridge high school canceled the appearance from Adam Deacon due to thinking he was a BAD role model because of the films he has been in and produced. Well I myself think he is a brilliant role model. Our school has been rioting for two days now. Mr Beaumont lies about there has not been riot and protesting because there has and there are many pictures and videos on internet site such as; Twitter, Facebook and Blackberry Messenger. He also lied about not locking the pupils in their form rooms which he did. When the fire alarm went off, he did not let the children out of the building,he made us all stay in our form rooms, the school could of been burning down for all he cared.

- Woodbridge Rioter, Woodford, 19/01/2012 17:50

I’m not going to do the (sic) thing, because, frankly, it’s too much effort when the commenters are this ill-educated. Luckily, it isn’t all in txt-speak…

I was there and can confirm that Andrew Beaumont's statement is completely false. Mass protest and anarchy gripped the school and forced all lessons to be cancelled and the students to be held in their form rooms until the end of the school day. Mr Beaumont's dealing of the situation was completely insufficient and his cancellation of Adam Deacon's visit unjust and misinformed.

- Woodbidge Rioter, Woodford, 19/01/2012 15:06

A day without any lessons! Think how that could harm their futures…

/sarc

Luckily, there are saner heads on this thread:

These protests are absolutely ridiculous. Obviously there was a poor communication from the staff to the students about Adam Deacons appearance, but the reaction from the students is preposterous.

The students are no longer rioting about Adam Deacon, but the fact that they now can, and will push it to see how far they can go.

Most of these students caught up in the protests obviously have no understanding of the importance of there education, and no care for it. They would quite happily quit school now and enter a life of endless benefits.

- Woodbridge Sixth Form Student, Woodford, 19/01/2012 19:24

Yes, no doubt that’s all they can hope for. I mean, would you offer any of these monstrously entitled slobs a job?

They were running around and getting into big groups. Someone from year six threw a brick and smashed a window and people were running around screaming and shouting."

Well people do wonder what has happened to Redbridge, once a massive jewish area, very clean and well behaved kids, now gone, and down the pan like the rest of East London!

- Ed, London, 19/01/2012 11:08

How very true. And it throws new light on those youth unemployment figures, doesn’t it?

This Is ‘A Major Incident’? Really?

2012-01-21T09:40:00.000Z

A boy was suspended from primary school for a day for taking in a toy gun.

Stuart Thomson, ten, spent a day at home after he was excluded from Hazelmere Junior School in Hawthorn Avenue, Colchester.

A…what? A toy gun?

Well, maybe we are talking about one of those ultra-realistic looking weap…

Oh.

His mother, Samantha Patterson, of Laburnum Grove, Colchester, believes the school has overreacted to the toy, which fires foam “bullets”. She said: “He had it in his bag and did not fire it, but the headteacher said it was a major incident.

Christ, talk about hyperbole! What is she going to call a fight between pupils? A fire? A terrorist attack?

She seems to be an exceptionally dim woman, even by the usual standards of head teachers:

Headteacher Jenny Firth defended the decision saying no guns, not even toys, should be taken into school.

She said: “As a school we have a duty of care to the children and whatever type of gun it was, it should not have been taken to school.

“You don’t know how much damage could be done and we need to send the message it is unacceptable to bring it in. ”

Well, perhaps if you’d sent that message before, setting out what is and is not acceptable to bring to school, the kid wouldn’t have thought he could?

“There was an incident a few years ago when we thought there was a worse weapon and we did have to call police.

“Other children may have more real guns at home and if they bring them in, a child could have an eye taken out.”

We must think of the chiiiilllldreeeen!!!!!

There Goes The Neighbourhood, Eh?

2012-01-20T12:50:00.000Z

A new police station in Accrington could be built on land next to a proposed £4million mosque.

How….handy… *snigger*

Central ward Coun Allah Dad said: “This land was reserved for a mosque. The committee and the community still want it there and there is a demand and a need for it.

“It was promised in 2009, the funding is there, but there have been delays. I think this is down to a lack of communication and a change in council control.

“We are waiting for an agreement to be put in place and I’m going to try and make sure it happens. ”

And you’ll be just delighted by the presence of a police station right next door, won’t you?

“We have only just found about the possible plans for a police station. People don’t want it there and we will campaign strongly against this. We are not against a police station, just the location. This land is reserved for the mosque.”

Terrible, isn’t it, when ‘undesirables’ move in and think they own the place, start throwing their weight around and making demands?

*schadenfreude levels….RISING*

And Just What Does ‘Almost Abstained’ Mean..?

2012-01-20T11:40:00.001Z

Jason Taylor, defending, said the air rifle was not loaded – meaning it actually made louder bangs when it was fired.

He added: "It is hard to believe that a young man who is so pleasant has behaved so incredibly foolishly.

"He has been so shocked by his behaviour after consuming seven pints of cider that he has almost abstained from alcohol.

So now he just limits himself to six pints before playing loud music, getting his head handed to him by an aggrieved neighbour he assaulted and retaliating with a firearm?

"The chances of this man coming back before the court again are as low as you can imagine."

Oooh, I think not.

Judge Simon Darwall-Smith told Bryant, of Anchor Road, Kingswood, that his early guilty plea and lack of previous convictions had allowed him to suspend his prison term.

"I believe you have learned your lessons – one of which is to stop drinking cider," he said.

*sigh*

I Guess Videogames Do Cause Violence Sometimes…

2012-01-20T10:10:00.001Z

The youngster told the court: “It was out of character for me and stupid. I shouldn’t really have done it.”

The court also heard he had been bullied at school, and would struggle to cope in prison. But he was hoping to go to university and pursue a career in art.

His mother told the court: “He is painfully shy and it does come across a little bit as arrogance. I’m really proud of him that he stayed in school and it’s quite a drop to go from looking at prospectuses to go to university, to being here today.

“I believe in him. It’s so out of character for him – he’s gentle and polite.”

Goodness me, so what did he do?

Oh, just armed home invasion, that’s all:

…he forced his way into a tower block flat armed with a knife.

The 17-year-old, from Leigh, targeted the home in Brecon flats, Salisbury Avenue, Westcliff, while the terrified householder was inside.

Keith Rylands, prosecuting, said the victim was accused of having the boy’s Xbox and this had led to the victim’s home being raided.

For once, the bench weren’t about to look favourably on him. Which makes me wonder what reports they saw…

… Ian Kirby, chairman of the bench, said they had no option but to send the boy to a young offenders’ institution for four months.

He told the boy’s parents: “I’m very sorry. We looked long and hard at the case of keeping him out, but this is just too serious.”

Well, well, well….

Oh, The Well Of Sympathy Has Run Dry. Again.

2012-01-20T08:55:00.000Z

A prisoner who tried to smuggle crack cocaine worth £2million into Britain has complained about the “disgraceful” wages he receives at a prison in Sussex.

I think it’s disgraceful, too. I think it’s disgraceful he gets given any money at all!

Vincent Holyoake, previously of De Cham Road, St Leonards, is currently eight years into a 17-year sentence.

He is serving his sentence at Ford Prison near Arundel – where he said the wages he gets for working are lower than at most other prisons.

He said this makes it is (sic) impossible for him to visit his family on the train during days outside of prison or for “overnight release”.

Oh, boo hoo!

In a letter published in this month’s Inside Time magazine – for people serving sentences – Holyoake said: …here at Ford, a category D prison, the average weekly wage is £9.50.

“From that wage £1 per week is taken for the television which I have been paying for the past seven years, which leaves £8.50 per week out of which I have to maintain contact with family and friends on an overpriced phone system and make minimal purchases from an increasingly overpriced canteen.”

Welcome to the club, chum. Times are hard, inflation’s up, and we’re all paying through the nose for services.

The Ministry of Justice yesterday declined to comment.

Nobody from Ford Prison was available for comment.

Too busy laughing, probably.

The Unspeakable In Support Of The Unreleaseable…

2012-01-19T13:25:00.000Z

Eve Ensler (in case you were wondering, the founder of ‘V-Day, a global movement to end violence against women and girls’) goes to bat for one of the ‘Guardian’s’ hopeless causes:

Judith Clark, a 1960s radical and the getaway driver of the 1981 robbery of a Brinks truck in Nanuet, New York, was the subject of a controversial article this Sunday, looking at her transformation in prison, and sparking a debate about rehabilitation.

Sparking a debate amongst, I’d guess, the sort of people Eve Ensler hangs out with. I can’t imagine it being much of a topic of conversation around the average US breakfast table.

I met Judy in 1996 at Bedford Hills correctional facility in upstate New York when, for five years, she participated in a writing group I ran. The group was mainly for long-term inmates who had committed violent crimes; the purpose was to give them a place, and a creative process, where they could come to terms with their actions, and take responsibility for their crimes, through writing – confessions, dreams, rants, memories.

It was an incredibly arduous, emotional process and in that time I got a deep look into the women in my group. I witnessed their bravery, their fear, but mainly their hunger for honesty…

It’s almost like a parody of a CiF column, isn’t it?

I know few people in the outside world who would have survived the rigour and ferocity of their self-scrutiny.

Fancy that! I know few people who’d volunteer to drive the getaway car for a violent terrorist group…

If we call these places correctional facilities, we should be serious about rehabilitation. Yet instead of offering groups, methods and programs for prisoners to address their crimes, we merely recreate violent and inhumane environments – throwing people who have often suffered violence, poverty and degradation in the earliest parts of their lives into even greater cruelty, inhumanity and violence.

Judy Clark, however, has suffered none of those things, being the daughter of middle class American Communists.

Judy was sentenced to 75 years. She has already served 31. I believe she should be released now. She is a transformed person – kind, wise, moral, spiritual, devoted to others. I will stake my life that she will do good and not harm.

But you aren’t just staking your life, are you? You’re staking everyone else’s life.

I know there will be victims of her crimes who will be outraged by my support and sympathy for her.

There won’t, however, be anyone who is surprised by it…

Let's free Judy … and then I've got a long list of others.

And I bet they are all left-wing women.

Barmy Schemes In Southend – Pt II

2012-01-19T11:45:00.000Z

A wireless internet network could be rigged up across Southend, giving residents access to the web in their homes, on the road and even on the beach.

Really? Is this the most pressing problem in Southend?

I think not…

Nigel Holdcroft, the Tory council leader, said: “I think this could be extremely good for the town in terms of the benefits it will bring.

“It is a brave move and it shows this council is a forward-thinker.”

Or a blue-sky, head-in-the-clouds thinker…

Who is going to pay for it?

While paid-up residents would be able to surf the entire internet, visitors to town may be given limited access to the council’s website or other tourist information to find their way around.

Don’t most smartphones already have plenty of apps for that? It’s not like the coverage on 3G is so poor down on the seafront either…

Utterly pointless.

Barmy Schemes In Southend – Pt I

2012-01-19T10:30:00.001Z

Businessmen in Southend will be encouraged to use electric bikes to get around town.

Southend Council is piloting the innovative project after receiving a £12,000 handout from the Government.

Like the Government has any money…

Council bosses want to loan hi-tech bikes to firms whose employees will be urged to use them instead of their cars.

It is hoped the scheme will help ease car parking and traffic problems in the borough.

How many will this affect? Ten? Twenty? Just what effect is that likely to have on the traffic in Southend? I might as well pee off the end of the Pier and claim to be 'easing sea level problems'...

The E-bikes project is funded by the Government’s £1.04million Climate Change Skills Fund for the East of England, part of a nationwide effort to push local councils to become more environmentally aware.

Utterly pointless.

Just Build A Big Wall Around Croydon And Have Done With It!

2012-01-19T08:50:00.001Z

Because I’m totally sick of the whinging self-pity and victimhood claims from the usual suspects:

A mini riot between school children armed with baseball bats and planks of wood ended with allegations of heavy handed treatment…

Well, yes, you’d think the baseball bats and planks of wood would guarantee th…

… from police officers.

Oh, FFS!

*throws computer across room*

Police were called to the Colonnades Leisure Park on Purley Way, on Monday, to reports of a fight involving up to 30 youths, some of whom were armed.

One schoolgirl was left with a black eye and swollen hands after allegedly being assaulted by police called to deal with the mass brawl.

Let me guess, she was ‘nothing to do with it’, she was ‘just walking along minding her own business’..?

She and other pupils who attend Harris Academy in Kendra Hall Road, Purley, have been suspended from the school pending the police enquiry.

And no doubt the racemongers and grievance-hustlers will turn their attention to this horrible injustice, just as soon as they’ve finished screaming at the police:

Her mother said: "The school have suspended all of the pupils that were arrested until the end of the police investigation. They were aware a gang from outside the area had come to the school as they contacted the police earlier in the day.

"Instead of finding out what happened they have just tarred everyone with the same brush and excluded them from school, they have exams but they have not mentioned homework. The police exercised their position of authority negatively, they showed no regard for the children. They just showed up and passed judgement."

No, they showed up to stop a gang fight and arrested people at the scene who gave them cause to do so.

A police spokeswoman said: "Initial reports suggested between 20 to 30 people were involved in the fight. While officers dealt with those arrested, a large group of around 50 youths attended the scene and became hostile towards the officers.

"Extra resources were deployed and the youths were encouraged to leave the scene. During the incident four police officers received minor injuries. "

A previous news article (actually, more its comments) tells the whole sorry story:

Lonelidimple says...

the police beat up anybody who was there, even innocent people were injured. A 15 year old girl falsely accused was punched in the face by a policeman multiple times. This is outrageous , police are corrupted. Should feel ashamed and need to publicly apologize for hurting those who were not even involved. Disgusting, and then they want respect.

Eh..?

No, they don’t want respect, they are entitled to respect, as the people called upon to sort out the chaotic lives of feral scum and protect the decent, law-abiding people in Croydon (assuming there are any left) from mobs of ‘schoolchildren’ who settle gang disputes with weapons in the street...

kwalker2009 says...

The thing is how can we come forward to tell the truth? the police and their brutality here are serious. The story started as what my son told me that there was a boy who was beaten up by another boy enough for the boy who got beaten up to go to the hospital. The boy's group of friends heard about it and gathered friends to get revenge. Waited for the responsible boy until end of the school day. they are equipped with rods, chain and different weapons their intention is to harm the responsible boy for their friend's being harmed. The boy who they are looking for heard about it and got scared and rushed to one of the food shop and the people in the shop helped him and locked the shop. Someone called the police enough for the group of kids to leave and the boy inside the shop left as well. The police came those kids who are responsible for disturbing the peace are gone! the police start frisking and accusing all the kids on the street and grabbed a girl who is trying to say something and punched her on the face 3 times and pushed down on the ground. then another kids was grabbed by the police and swing him next to the car strong enough to break the glass window. Now my son will not come forward as he is **** scared of how the police treated this people! the police were wrong here those kids they grabbed are not even the one who is responsible for the fights! why? because those poor kids are all BLACK??? where is the EQUALITY AND DIVERSITY here??? WHY BLACK PEOPLE ARE TREATED LIKE CRAP??? I AM NOT BLACK!!! THOSE POLICE ARE DEFINITELY attacking with RACISM!!!

So the gang-fight never materialised, yet there were all these totally innocent kids out on the street when the police arrived..?

Eh? Don't most innocent people, on witnessing a gang-fight, get the hell out of the area?

Wow! And here I thought ‘Oh, well, see, the ship listed, and I sort of fell into the lifeboat’ was the stupidest, lamest excuse I was going to hear this week!

Luckily, there are a few clear-headed adults in this comment thread:

Purleycalm says...

You need to protect your children by educating them and not teaching them to blame authority figures. The real criminals because that's what the problem kids are rely on people like yourself to mask the real issue which is poor parenting not poor policing. If you are worried where your child is then teach them to avoid trouble and not to spectate.

Spot on! That doesn't please them, as you'd expect:

kwalker2009 says...

Lonelidimple this is how simple it is...those people who commented badly with those kids are either police themselves trying to save their arses or they are RACIST!!! they don't see the sympathy for the poor children who are treated badly by the authority... very sad really! my son is in a trauma of not trusting the police he is so scared when he came home!!! witnessing such a scene with police brutality!!! It's just a pity really as not all police are the same! I remember the one who helped us with the burglar incident we had in our house, immediately they were here to help us, very kind and supportive!!! It just by chance the respondent to this incident in Purley Way are aggressive officers! My sympathy to those kids and to their parents who has to experienced this kind of treatment they don't deserved... :(

Gosh, how surprising that the demeanour of an officer in a suburban house, taking details of a burglary that the householder wants to give and so is welcoming to him, is different to the demeanour of a cop out on the streets as a result of an emergency call, trying to sort out which of the screaming, shouting, belligerent ‘children’ is an onlooker and which is a gang-member attempting to disguise his or her reason for being there…

Enough of this!

This is how riots start, when the police are too afraid of the mouthy minority with chips on their shoulders and victim complexes to do their job and protect people. This is why businesses are fleeing Croydon in droves, why decent, law-abiding people are leaving the area as soon as they can. And who can blame them?

You want your children to be able to behave as if you were in a Third World hellhole? Well, Heathrow’s that way – don’t let the door to the country hit you in the arse on the way out. You might find the police there a bit less than welcoming of your unruly offspring though. 'Rough treatment' is unlikely to be the most you'll have to complain about (not that the complaints system is quite so well developed, or state-funded, either).

Otherwise sit the f**k down, shut the f**k up and start to behave like a responsible human being and parent.

And take a good, long, hard look at your children, and ask yourselves just why they turned out the way they did...

Ex Libris: ‘The Jungle Book’

2012-01-18T13:30:00.000Z

"It was seven o'clock of a very warm evening in the Seeonee hills when Father Wolf woke up from his day's rest, scratched himself, yawned, and spread out his paws one after the other to get rid of the sleepy feeling in their tips. Mother Wolf lay with her big gray nose dropped across her four tumbling, squealing cubs, and the moon shone into the mouth of the cave where they all lived."

The first time I read this book is sadly lost to fading memory. I probably had it read to me, long before I picked it up for myself.

But I do remember that it was just this edition I had (from the library, I’d imagine), a copy of which I managed to pick up at a boot sale last summer. The story entranced me, and I can still remember my disappointment on being taken to see the Disney version - this wasn't THE Jungle Book! This was a travesty!

Other film versions have come and gone (Korda's was a brave but ultimately unsuccessful try) and one can only imagine what today's CGI could achieve, but, inevitably, any such film would be subject to so much cutting of 'unsuitable' scenes (Mowgli's rescue from the Bandar-Log would be too bloody, the letting in of the Jungle scenes almost certainly too 'racist') that it would be ruined just as surely as the others.

I originally bought this version just for the nostalgia value, and for the wonderful illustrations by Stuart Tresilian, and because it was the book that I remembered reading (I have other editions lurking around, and thanks to e-readers, all out of copyright classic books are usually now available at the touch of a button).

But then a blogpost by Neal Asher, about the covers to classic books he’d read as a child, made me think about those books I had read that I do still occasionally pull out to read again.

So that’s the reason for this year’s series. To take a look back at some of the classic - and not so classic! - books I've read throughout the years.

Some are the original battered old paperbacks, some have been newly purchased via boot sales or eBay, but they are all books I treasure, for one reason or another.

There might be surprises ahead...

Capital Idea!

2012-01-18T11:45:00.001Z

The parish council wants to introduce a bylaw which would permit only children under 12 to use the facilities following complaints from neighbours about noisy youths using them.

Councillors also want to stop dogs being walked in the play areas in Baskerville Road, Lea Road and Churchill Crescent in order to protect young children from dog mess.

I couldn’t help a wry chuckle at the inclusion of Baskerville Road…

Vice-chairman Douglas Kedge said: “Local authorities have a duty to keep play areas clear of dog faeces.”

Do they? I thought that was a responsibility of dog owners?

Police community support officer Colin Boyes revealed that children as young as 11 had started fires in the play areas and suggested locking them at night.

Fantastic idea! That’ll show the feral little…

Wait. There ‘s no ‘up’ in that sentence.

I might have misread it….

Silly Season Already…?

2012-01-18T10:40:00.001Z

It must be, the 'Mail' is in full spate, asking those questions that invariably attract a 'No, don't be so ridiculous' answer. And the local papers are getting in on the act too:

There have been so many big cat sightings in Leicestershire and Rutland – the latest on January 1 – that some experts are convinced there are breeding populations.

‘Experts’? Do you mean vets, biologist, zoo personnel?

For big cat hunter Nigel Spencer, the interest in the big cats that seem to be living and breeding in parts of Leicestershire has become a passion.

Nigel has taken over the reins of Rutland and Leicestershire Pantherwatch, an organisation set up by his father, David.

Ah. Right. No, clearly you mean Internet obsessives.

It seems to be the modern definition of 'expert', which believe me, I'm challenging wherever it appears:

The 49-year-old, from Oakham, said: "Big cats are breeding in the UK, without a shadow of a doubt. "

You’ll have some proof, then?

"But actually filming them in the wild and proving there are breeding populations out there – rather than just the occasional escaped animal – is very difficult."

He said the stealthy movements of the animals, combined with the areas they live in, make them hard to find.

"In Africa, you just set up a camera by a water hole and all the animals from two miles around will come by, and in the Americas, where pumas come from, they can be seen in the open country.

"Here, they can easily dart into the undergrowth and quickly disappear. "

Newsflash, Nigel; most of the cougar’s range in North America is not that much different from England, with the possible exception of our moors. Surprisingly enough, it even contains 'undergrowth'!

And seeing a cougar in anything like open country (save when they encroach on human areas) is about as ‘easy’ as seeing a leopard in daylight in Africa.

Some ‘expert’…

Nigel said the main questions of doubters could be answered easily.

Oh, really?

"It's been too long for these new sightings to be animals released in the 70s, so that suggests they're breeding in the wild or being bred for the black market and being released."

/facepalm

A spokeswoman for the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs said it did not collect reports on big cats and had never found conclusive evidence of big cats living in the wild.

For once, I think I have a lot more faith in the official government line than in any other explanation….

I Don’t Want To Be ‘That Sort Of Person’ Either…

2012-01-18T09:20:00.000Z

And you know what? I’m not! Amazing how that works, eh?

Slezak later made a tearful plea from the dock as he begged magistrates not to jail him.

He said: "I'm very ashamed of what I have done.

"It's low and I don't want to be the sort of person who does things like this.

"I know I deserve to go to prison, but I know I've got to stop and I beg you not to send me to jail. I just need one more chance to see if I can have something constructive in my life which I haven't got at the minute."

So, what did this poor unfortunate do?

Jobless Steven Slezak was caught on CCTV untying a chain which attached the collection tin to a counter before taking the box from the Longton branch of Rogers Brock and Barker.

The footage was handed to police who recognised the 37-year-old, who had just finished an eight-month prison sentence for an affray in Norton.

/facepalm

Was he destitute? Starving?

After being arrested, Slezak, of Locketts Lane, Longton, told police he had money on him at the time of the theft and had no idea why he had taken the charity box on November 14.

Ooops!

Nick Davies, defending, said: "He had gone to the vets for legitimate reasons but he had been drinking, saw the box and took it.

"He gave a full and frank admission to police about what he had done."

Yes, well, since he was caught on bloody CCTV in the act what the hell else could he have done?

Respect Is A Two-Way Street…

2012-01-17T14:35:00.001Z

The family are now cooperating with the police and have asked for their privacy to be respected.

And we’re supposed to overlook the fact that you demand this AFTER using the ‘Daily Mail’ to launch a bitter attack on the school for not, in your eyes, suddenly converting to a prison to restrict your drunken daughter to school premises and thereby prevent her death..?

It Might Not Be The Shutters At Fault...

2012-01-17T13:25:00.002Z

In a desperate bid to avoid pointing fingers at the elephants in the room, Croydon Council is reconsidering it's objections to....security shutters.

Yes, really:

The review has been prompted by the extensive damage caused to shops during the riots on August 8 last year.

Current policy favours see-through shutters placed either inside or outside shop windows.

However, many shopkeepers believe heavy metal grilles, which are seen as an eyesore, would have kept windows intact and protected their businesses from being looted.

Now, yes, we've been here before, Colchester Council being another that would rather their streets look 'aesthetically pleasing' than shopkeepers' premises were protected.

And certainly, the council seems to have some evidence for their potential u-turn:

While neighbouring stores such as Argos were gutted, Hewitts of Croydon, in Church Street, suffered no damage because looters were unable to break through the shop's security panels.

Manager Martin Hewitt said: "Luckily they didn't manage to get through the heavy-duty shutters we have outside the shop.

"They were kicking and smashing them but they couldn't get in.

"We had the shutters put in because people kept breaking our windows on Friday and Saturday nights.

"Our security seemed to have worked, so we were very lucky in that respect."

However, in the comments, it's suggested that they might not have been trying too hard anyway:

The_Third_Eye

“"While neighbouring stores such as Argos were gutted, Hewitts of Croydon, in Church Street, suffered no damage because looters were unable to break through the shop's security panels."

Of course Hewitts was left alone they sell school uniform, whereas Argos sells FlatScreens, Laptops, Mobile phones and other high end electricals.”

Hmmm....

A Happy Ending For The Animals…

2012-01-17T11:40:00.001Z

…but what about the child?

A woman who allowed her 13 cats and two dogs to starve for more than a month has escaped jail.

I pity those who had to investigate the case…

Andrew Wiles, prosecuting, said: "The premises themselves were in poor condition, with the pungent smell of urine and faeces throughout."

Naturally, mitigation is as pathetic and inadequate as the defendant:

Jaysen Seebrouth, defending, said Spiers kept the animals for comfort and had attempted suicide since the pets were removed from her care.

And if you think that was bad enough, read on:

He said: "She has had difficulties with her child settling at school, with her accommodation and finances. She has suffered from poor hygiene, poor living conditions and it all took time for her to turn her life around.

"It's been of great pain to her what has happened."

I do hope someone’s removed the poor child, too…

Update: Link now fixed, thanks to Curmudgeon.

A First Step Might Be To Change Your Name, Perhaps?

2012-01-17T10:35:00.001Z

EYST director Rocio Cifuentes said:…"Through the Think Project we hope to work with young people who might not have had the chance to learn much positive stuff about immigrants, black people and so on, and to change this by giving them a chance to learn, experience and think for themselves, while at the same time recognising their grievances and helping them improve their own communities.

"Some young white people feel let down, as they feel the support is there for ethnic groups.

"We recognise that lots of them feel let down they don't have similar support."

Do they? Hmmm…

And just what does ‘EYST’ stand for?

The Ethnic Youth Support Team ….

/facepalm

It’s no wonder they feel they ‘don’t have the same support’, is it? Just look at the name on your paycheques for a good insight, love!

…has now been awarded a lottery grant of almost £170,000 to carry out a three-year project to help tackle the problem.

Well, that’s money well spent, right?

ESYT, based on St Helen's Road, has been awarded the funding for its Think Project, following the success of a three-month pilot.

It will allow staff to work with around 80 youths a year, referred to them by the Youth Offending Service and alternative education providers.

In other words, offenders and those excluded from schools. Nothing like fishing in a well-stocked pool, eh?

Ms Cifuentes added: "Unfortunately, despite developments such as Stephen Lawrence's killers facing justice at last, racism and support for the far-right are not history, but are very much alive and kicking in some parts of our community.

"We know these attitudes are growing across Europe, you only have to look at the shootings in Norway."

Translation: ‘Give us the money or there’ll be a massacre! It’s for the sake of the chiiiilllldreeeennnn!’

Victim Blaming, Part 405

2012-01-17T09:05:00.001Z

The 36-year-old victim's hand was severed, but for a three centimetre piece of skin, when he was attacked outside the Fountain public house, in Humberstone Gate, Leicester.

The city's Crown Court yesterday heard the weapon sliced through bone, nerves, arteries and tendons in his wrist.

Surgeons were able to reattach the hand – although it was not said in court how much use of his hand he has recovered.

I hate to be churlish (no, stop laughing at the back!), but having a hand ‘severed but for still being attached’ is like being ‘a little bit pregnant’, isn’t it?

Carl Matthew Peters (28) yesterday pleaded guilty to inflicting grievous bodily harm, with intent, on the night of September 18.

The court was told there was an incident between Peters and the victim at the public house earlier in the evening.

Peters, of Yeoman Street, in the city centre, left the pub and went to his home, several minutes walk away.

He then armed himself with a foot-long machete and returned about 10pm.

Peters waited outside the pub and, when his victim came out, he struck him with the machete.

Pretty indefensible?

The court heard that Peters claimed the victim had first assaulted him, and that he said the victim had gone outside to confront him.

Avik Mukherjee, prosecuting, said the Crown did not accept all of Peters' claims.

Well, that’s good to know…

He added: "He accepts he returned with the machete and caused the injury.

"He claims that when he left the flat he didn't intend to use it, but intended to scare the complainant. Whatever he thought when he left the flat he must have formed another view within a short time.

"The complainant had no opportunity (to do anything) when he came out of the pub, because he was struck by this defendant."

So, what’s the defence going to be?

Judge Robert Brown asked defence advocate Helen Johnson: "He pleads guilty to the severing of the hand with the machete?"

"Yes he does," replied Ms Johnson.

She added: "However, we say the victim's conduct on the night was clearly aggressive."

What the hell does that make the perpetrator’s conduct..?!?

The court heard the victim was someone with previous convictions.

Interesting! You can’t hear about the attacker’s previous convictions until after sentence.

But you can hear about the victim’s.

Make .... It....STOP!

2012-01-16T14:35:00.000Z

A petrol station offering cheap petrol to drivers if they buy booze as well has been slammed by safety campaigners who fear it could encourage drink-driving.

Eh..?

My local often stocks BBQ charcoal yet I’ve never felt the need to start BBQing while driving. Perhaps we better stop them selling newspapers as well, in case people read at the wheel, eh?

The promotion is being offered as scores of drivers across the Midlands face court following drink drive campaigns by police over the Christmas period.

Something which, I suspect, has no bearing on this whatsoever.

But I’m willing to be convinced, fruitcakes and NuPuritans; do tell me how many bought their alcohol at a petrol station? 40%? 20%? 2%? Any at all?

Come on, you must have the figures, right? You haven’t just pulled this out of your fundaments (again) have you?

The offer at the Jet garage flies in the face of advice issued by Alcohol Concern….

Oh, perish the thought!

… who recommend safety warnings be displayed at garages where alcohol is available, and staff are fully trained in responsible sales practices.

They can recommend what they like; Jet are under no obligation whatsoever to comply.

The campaign group has also suggested that the UK follows France, which has banned booze from petrol stations altogether.

And so France has reduced their drink-driving convictions to nil, right?

I suspect the answer’s ‘Non!’…

Another Lesson Not Learned...

2012-01-16T13:10:00.003Z

Maggie Bowden, 38, and Rebecca Willis, 24, headed a 15 strong lynch mob which stripped Sean Ruddeforth, tied him to a lamp-post with duct tape before daubing his body with gold paint and nail varnish, a court heard.

They then poured tinned spaghetti, chicken nuggets and breakfast cereal over their victim's head as sick accomplices mocked him and filmed the assault on a mobile phone.

After covering the 31-year old , who has learning difficulties, in rice crispies they jeered: 'Look, he's going to snap crackle and pop,' it was claimed.

A clear case of 'disability hate crime', and aren't the police supposed to be treating this much more seriously?

But when worried neighbours dialled 999 for help, no police went to the scene and one caller was told: 'This is an environmental health issue. Here's another number to contact,' Manchester Crown Court heard.

I...

I just...

Bowden, Willis and Anthony Connolly, 25, all of Ashton-under-Lyne, admitted assault occasioning actual bodily harm - but walked free due to new sentencing guidelines which meant the fact they were mothers had to be taken into account.

Great children they will be bringing up, eh? Take a look at the pictures of the barely-human, knuckledragging inbreds. Then imagine smaller versions running riot in the local primary schools...

Bowden and Willis each received 12 month sentence suspended for two years, with an electronic curfew for three months between the hours of 7pm to 7am and were ordered to take part in a new decision activity requirement for ten days.

Connolly received a 10 month sentence suspended for two years, with an electronically monitored curfew for three months between the hours of 7pm-5am and was also ordered to take part in the new decision activity requirement for ten days.

All three defendants were ordered to pay £300 compensation to the victim at a rate of £5 per week.

I suppose this 'decision activity requirement' is what other trials have referred to as 'thinking skills' courses?

And, of course, the reason for the extraordinary leniency with the compensation can only be one thing; they are all on benefits.

Mitigation should be good, and of course, it doesn't disappoint; we have a full complement of 'they had unhappy childhoods!' with a side-order of 'Really, they are the true victims!' thrown in:

In mitigation Mark Shepherd for Bowden said his client suffered from a 'difficult upbringing' whilst for Willis, Robert Sastry said: 'She's a doting mother - she has no excuse for leaving the victim tied up.'

Mr Sastry added: 'She has never been in trouble before and being in court is an extremely traumatic experience for her.'

What wonderful specimens of humanity they must be...

What’s The Point? Part 2597863

2012-01-16T11:50:00.001Z

Three pitbull type dogs were seized and two people arrested after raids on two homes in Wallington this morning.

Excellent news!

Beddington South and Beddington North safer neighbourhoods teams carried out the dangerous dog warrants with two officers from the Met’s specialist status dogs unit.

Sergeant Paul Cole said the operation was to remove dangerous dogs from the streets on the Roundshaw estate and Sutton.

He said: “We encourage anyone concerned about dangerous dogs to come forward give us information - and we will act on this information like we have done today.

“It’s important to reduce the number of dangerous dogs in local communities to make them safer.”

Yeah, well, don’t hold your breath, Sgt Cole, because seizing them is often only half the battle.

A man has been convicted of having two illegal fighting dogs – but Craig Doyle, aged 22, has been allowed to keep the pit bull terriers after a judge ruled they were not a threat to public safety.

Perhaps because the judge knows full well they aren’t likely to be wandering his local streets?

District judge Rufus Taylor, sitting at Plymouth Magistrates' Court, gave Doyle two 12-month conditional discharges.

He ordered the return of bitch Lola and her puppy Kruger but passed contingent destruction orders for the life on both pets.

Doyle must have both dogs microchipped, tattooed with identification, neutered, insured and muzzled.

Lola must be on two leads and Kruger kept on one while outside in public.

Doyle must make sure Lola is never left alone with anyone aged under 18.

Still, maybe they were tested and found of good temperament?

Oh. Silly me:

Sgt Knight added he found that Kruger was good-natured but Lola was "nervous aggressive".

He said he believed the adult dog had been trained to be aggressive.

One has to ask exactly who the idiot Judge thinks trained her?

But what of the other dogs seized in the raid?

Police said after the case that Smokey and one of the pups had died since being taken to the kennels.

Smokey was put down after the dog attacked and injured a female kennel worker. The puppy was put down because of illness.

*sigh*

”If you see me comin’, better step aside…”

2012-01-16T10:30:00.001Z

So sang Tennessee Ernie Ford. At least this time, the other man didn’t die:

James Askew (24), of Tower Street, Leicester, appeared at the city's magistrates' court yesterday and admitted assaulting an unknown man in New Walk on December 15.

Nicky Bennett, prosecuting, said Askew had been with his mother and stepfather in city centre pubs in the early hours.

She said the defendant was highly intoxicated and when another man walked through the group Askew pushed him and assaulted him as he lay on the ground.

The reason for this family visit to the town’s watering holes? A party?

No. A funeral.

Yes, that’s right. And he wasn’t done fightin’ either:

The court heard a police officer attempted to handcuff him but Askew resisted and was restrained with Captor spray.

And the cause of this unprovoked attack on a complete stranger?

Mike Garvey, for Askew, confirmed he had been to his grandfather's funeral and the family had been celebrating his life.

He added: "The other man could have walked around but decided to clench his fists and walk through the group aggressively."

Just asking for it, innit?

Mr Garvey said Askew was of a previous exemplary character.

Really? Then how do you account for this bizarre behaviour at a funeral?

I doubt it comes from grief. Frankly, you’d have been better off blaming the Demon Drink. Magistrates seem to swallow that...

Victim Blaming - Is It Ever OK?

2012-01-16T09:15:00.001Z

The concept of 'victim blaming' often rears its head, but usually most contentiously whenever rape enters the picture. See a recent thread at Tim Worstall's blog for some examples from the comments.

You see, to some people, suggesting that women shouldn't drink themselves blotto and then go home with dodgy strangers, or walk through dimly lit streets at night with their assets on display, etc, is just that; victim blaming. Women should be able to do just that, if they want to, and don't anyone ever dare insinuate that that's unwise!

What's curious, however, is the different attitude to displays of wealth, particularly the display of high-end personal possessions.

Now, anyone following any of the many official police accounts on Twitter will be besieged with 'safety information' - like not displaying your possessions and so not making yourself a target for muggers. That rather grates on me, as you can see:

Anyone disagree?

Standards, Please, Standards!

2012-01-15T11:50:00.004Z

Sent to me via email by Dave Ward:

It was partially corrected in the online edition, but as he says:

"What I want to know is how something that hasn't yet been built can remain??? Surely it would need to exist first... And, as some comments have been discussing, you don't build a home - you build a HOUSE, and the occupants make it into a HOME, or not as the case may be!"

Call Miss Marple!

2012-01-15T10:45:00.000Z

We have a mystery!

Gosh!

...it is understood bailiffs entered the property and stripped the restaurant last week, four days before Christmas.

Yesterday, it had a sign on the door saying: "Mango Tang is not open to the public this evening. Sorry for any inconvenience."

Inside, there was no sign of tables or chairs. And calls to the restaurant's telephone number were not answered.

The mobile number of the owner, Chris Mills, went to answer phone and messages left by the Derby Telegraph failed to get a response.

Wow! They've actually done some work. It's almost like real reportering! And in cyberspace too:

On December 6, the restaurant's Facebook page was updated, listing its New Year's Eve menu – a five-course meal including a glass of champagne, priced at £60 per person.

Two days earlier, a link had been placed on the same page to an offer through internet voucher site Wowcher, for customers to buy a meal-for-two at the restaurant worth £56.50 at a discounted price of £22. The voucher was for use after January 2, 2012.

Wowcher's policy states that if a business closes down and the offer has not expired, customers will get a refund.

I just can't imagine what could have happened...

No One Can Say The 'Mail' Doesn't Know Their Audience...

2012-01-15T09:30:00.000Z

Yup. They have to point out in the headline that the sheep that fathered the lambs was a male....

Sunday Funnies

2012-01-15T08:40:00.001Z

It's enough to make you believe in Intelligent Design...

Have You Really Thought That Through..?

2012-01-14T13:35:00.001Z

I'm pretty used to the sort of idea-bankrupt wibble spouted by Labour politicians, but one usually stands head, double chins and shoulders above every other one of the bunch.

Yup, it's Diane 'Does My Arse Look Big In...Yeah, Silly Question' Abbott. As Bucko points out, making her the shadow minister for health has meant that people are now lectured on obesity by a woman roughly the size of a small shed.

But I have to wonder just what they must have been thinking when she pauses from cramming pies into her gob long enough to suggest this:

Over-protective parents must let their children play in the street to save them from obesity, Labour's Diane Abbott has told the Standard.

*boggle*

Ms Abbott, the shadow public health minister, said: "I think London kids are especially at risk because so many mums and dads are fearful about letting them play in the streets. I think parents need to be tougher on their kids' diets to save them from ill-health. Carrying on with the chips and PlayStation 3 culture is not an option."

You first, then, eh? Oh, and are you really sure you want to suggest this, given what all the other racemongers have been beavering away at 'proving'?

Comments are, as ever, hilarious, but I did find this one the best:

The kids seem quite fit to me. Did you see how quickly they were getting away with their looted goods last Summer?

- John L, London, UK

*grin*

Ah, So It Wasn't 'Just One Bite' After All...

2012-01-14T12:10:00.000Z

Remember this? I said at the time that I thought we'd progressed beyond the idea that a dog was allowed 'one bite'...

Well...

Judge Goldstaub added: "Bearing in mind his occupation, Mr Grainger might be anxious. The dog ran around causing danger to everybody literally unleashed. Bowers knew it was dangerous. It had also bitten him."

Still, at least they didn't screw up the accompanying pictures this time!

And maybe the judge is learning, albeit slowly?

"It’s behind you!”

2012-01-14T10:50:00.000Z

‘It’ being the affronted parent, of course:

The 55-year-old funnyman, who lives in Rossendale, said seven-year-old Sebastian Pautsch, who suffers from autism, was in a group of children who were invited on stage during a performance of Aladdin at Preston Guild Hall last month.

Mr Robbins admitted suggesting the little boy’s behaviour was unusual, but said staff had failed to mention that he had autism.

He said he was ‘mortified’ and ‘genuinely sorry’ that he had upset the child, and that he had personally apologised to the family.

And that should be the end of it. Surely?

“He wasn’t upset on the stage. If I’d have known he was upset I wouldn’t have used any lines of jocularity.

“There have been times when I have thought a child was upset and I have said ‘do you want to go back to mummy and daddy?’ and made sure they got back with some sweeties.”

Yeah, OK, that should do it…

“I’m not a cruel comic and I never have been. Anyone who knows me will tell you that, if anything, I’m overly soft.”

OK, fine, we get it…

“I’ve been in this business for donkey’s years and this is the first time anybody has ever complained about anything like this.”

Ah. *sigh* I see.

That’s the reason for this overly-fulsome apology. It’s your first time at this. Well, Ted, times have changed. Welcome to the new Age Of The Aggrieved.

And don’t think your grovelling apology is going to get you off the hook, either. Not when everyone else is keen to join the ‘I’m sorrier about it than you are!’ game:

Bernard Hayes, Preston City Council’s deputy chief executive, said an investigation into the incident was under way.

Well, of course it is! Clearly, there’s no other pressing matter in Preston that requires the intervention of the council, is there?

The family has been offered a free family ticket to attend next year’s panto at the Guild Hall, he added.

By which time, you might not be able to find any entertainers, so maybe the kiddiewinks can listen to a 3 hour recital of council minutes, instead? Guaranteed not to offend anyone (except maybe taxpayers).

A spokesman for the Guild Hall said manager Chris Haylett had also written a letter of apology to the family.

Anyone else? Is the theatre cleaner going to be roped in to this ghastly parade of ‘We’re so, so sorry!’?

Comments are worth reading:

Chris P Bacon says...

who said that wrote:

oldgit wrote:
Its a sad world we live in, Ted was having a laugh with the kids and his mother felt she had to complain, Once the British had the best sense of humour in the world, now were to scared to open our mouths without fearing we offended someone, whatever happened to sticks and stones may break my bones but calling names can't hurt me.

Sorry oldgit, but I think you are wrong. This child has a disability and the last thing that he needs is ridiculing.

You say that at one time we had a good sense of humour. We also once had freak shows and thank goodness that those days have gone.

I hope that one day you don't get dementia and someone decides to use your condition to get a few cheap laughs!!

Ted has obviously reflected on what has happened and realised the hurt this will have caused the child and his family, whilst you on the other hand still seem to think that there was nothing wrong in what was said..........shame on you!

Yes, there should be a panel of 'experts' to whom the comments of the person on stage should be passed and once deemed acceptable, it's allowed to be uttered to the audience. Or to an individual. That's got to be the way forward, hasn't it?

Dear god, don't give them ideas, even in jest!

I can just see the likes of Internet Finder Of Offence, @mrsnickyclark (at it again last week, trying to whip up a Twittermob on some poor sod - funnily enough, another children's entertainer - who's humour failed her personal test), being the first person to volunteer for the role!

Surprise, Surprise!

2012-01-14T09:35:00.000Z

Scott Richards, 31, and Rion Peters, 20, the sons of Councillor Judith Best, originally denied causing grievous bodily harm to Neil Potter, 41.

The incident in Madeira Road on July 29 left Mr Potter with several broken ribs and he required 27 stitches.

But on Tuesday, January 10, at the Inner London Crown Court, the brothers pleaded guilty to the attack and were taken back into custody to await sentencing in four weeks’ time.

Well, well, well…

Had they discussed this with their mother? It would appear not:

Coun Best, the Liberal Democrat councillor for Streatham Wells ward, was visibly shocked when the change in plea was announced.

Heh!

And if this sounds familiar, well, it should:

In August, police arrested her in connection with the incident, but she was released on bail and has never been charged with any offence. She claimed she was seriously injured during the same evening and plans to press charges against her attackers.

Her, and OJ Simpson. Both looking for the real villain…

Where’s The Outrage?

2012-01-13T13:30:00.001Z

A Nelson student who joined in a gang attack which left a schoolboy with a broken nose has walked free from court.

Just bullying? A case of ‘boys will be boys’?

Burnley Youth Court heard how the 16-year-old was said to have raised an empty glass bottle as if he was going to smash it in the victim’s face. The victim stood up after the assault and asked his assailants why they had done it. He was told: “Because you’re black*.”

OUTRAGE! CALL LEE JASPER! ALERT DIANE ABBOTT!

The student, who cannot be named for legal reasons, admitted racially aggravated assault causing actual bodily harm. He was given a nine-month referral order and must pay £90 compensation.

How dreadful.

Where’s the protest march? Where are the screaming ‘Guardian’ headlines?

The defendant, who is at college and hopes to become an electrician, was told by the Bench not to associate with the others involved again. The chairman added: “I don’t want to see you back here ever again.”

See, we really do have a hell of a lot more to do to tackle racism, as the useless leader of our government opined just a few days ago, don’t we..?

*No. I lied.

Why Does Doreen Lawrence Get An MBE...?

2012-01-13T11:40:00.001Z

And yet Mr Balkwell doesn’t even get justice?

A police chief refused to co-operate with a misconduct probe into officers who investigated an unexplained death of a man who was found dead between the drum and chassis of a cement mixer.

And how can he do that, you cry?

Simples!

Former Det Chief Insp Terrence Haines retired a day after the Independent Police Complaints Commission contacted him about Lee Balkwell‘s untimely death.

How very coincidental…

Mr Haines, who headed Essex Police’s Serious and Organised Crime Directorate in 2008, refused to answer questions about his involvement in inquiries into the death.

If an officer retires, there is no law forcing them to co-operate with a commission investigation, so it is powerless to force them to answer questions.

Cozy, very cozy.

However Lee’s dad Les Balkwell, 64, believes Mr Haines should have got involved. He said: “I want to know why a senior detective would not co-operate in an inquiry concerning an unexplained death?”

For three years, the commission has investigated 92 complaints from Mr Balkwell concerning alleged failings in the initial investigation and subsequent reviews of his son’s case.

A report on the findings is expected early this year. Mr Balkwell has been allowed to see it, and said a number of his complaints were upheld, but for legal reasons he cannot go into detail.

Interesting! I look forward to reading that.

Mr Haines, who received the Liam Brigginshaw Award in recognition of outstanding commitment to policing in October 2009, was one of 18 officers served “regulation nine” official notices by the commission, meaning they were under investigation.

So, he resigned pretty quickly after that, then?

Well, no. Not exactly:

Mr Haines, who was an investigator during a review from 2003 to 2006, received his notice in December 2008, but the commission did not formally approach him to respond until March 31, last year. He retired on April 1.

I’ve seen glacial drift move faster…

An Essex Police spokesman said Mr Haines’ retirement had been planned and disputed it was anything to do with the commission’s investigation.

Well, of course he did!

The Kent and Essex Police serious crime directorate is still reviewing the death of Lee Balkwell. It began its probe following a 2009 interim report by the commission into the complaints. Mr Balkwell said: “I believe the truth about Lee’s death will eventually come out.”

I hope you’re right.

One commenter, though, clearly thinks you should just drop it:

Brunning999 says...

This is a case of obsession 92 complaints and no evidence, of crime.

What must be remembered is regardless of poor Policing if any policing was poor the Police Officers did not commit any crime.

The guy that admits making a mistake MUST be truly gutted if what he says is true.

After all those enquiries surely enough is enough if there is NO EVIDENCE other than circumstantial evidence.

Tell that to the Lawrences…

Not ‘Certain’…?

2012-01-13T10:25:00.001Z

A male psychiatric nurse jailed for setting fire to and killing his partner is likely to be barred from practicing medicine this month.

Only 'likely'..?

Who was his partner, anyway?

Aiah Tondoneh, 44, from Cricklewood, was jailed for at least 21-and-a-half years in May last year for the murder of nurse Donna Drepaul at her home in Clifton Court in Biggerstaff Street, Finsbury Park.

Ms Drepaul suffered severe burns after Tondoneh poured petrol over her and set her alight. She died on July 4 2010 two days after the attack.

Maybe lunacy is contagious..?

I Guess We Know Who Really Needed ‘Learning Skills’…

2012-01-13T09:10:00.001Z

The team of con artists sent bills to Castle College worth a total of £475,391 for fake training courses which people never attended. The bills were paid using Government money.

Bzzzzz! Wrong!

The bills were paid using our money. Taxpayer money.

Six members of the conspiracy were jailed at Nottingham Crown Court while two received suspended sentences.

Kay Edwards, 45, of Heathery Drive, Forest Town, used her job as an administrator at Castle College to provide Birkenhead-based Training Options UK Ltd with details of people who had previously completed courses at the college, which is based in Maid Marian Way and Beeston.

The details were then used by her conspirators to complete false work books, assessments and feedback forms and to submit false invoices.

Which, if anyone was using any sort of system to prevent fraud at all, wouldn’t have worked.

But hey, it’s only taxpayer money, right?

The cash came from the Learning Skills Council, funded by the Government.

NO! Funded by US!

Judge Michael Stokes QC said: "I have to sentence you eight for what has rightly been described as a sophisticated and prolonged fraud. It is a particularly aggravating feature of this case that the ultimate victims of this fraud are the taxpayer.

"There is no doubt in my mind that this fraud couldn't have taken place had Castle College and the other college in Warwickshire had proper systems for monitoring teaching that was carried out by independent contractors."

So why aren’t THEY in the dock too..?

(Not) Keeping Death Off The Roads…

2012-01-12T13:50:00.002Z

A great-grandmother who sparked a 10mph police chase can get behind the wheel again after her driving ban was overturned.

Yup, it’s this case.

...at a hearing at Chelmsford Crown Court, she successfully appealed the sentence, claiming it was too harsh.

A spokesman for the Crown Prosecution Service said her 12 month driving ban had been replaced with eight penalty points, allowing her to drive her Ford Fiesta again.

Perhaps she should be given the job of court chauffeur for the bewigged fools who think the ban was ‘too harsh’?

I mean, why should everyone else have to live with the risk, yet not them?

The ‘Good Samaritan’ Attacker!

2012-01-12T11:50:00.002Z

A schoolboy who assaulted another pupil in a classroom will not be charged with a criminal offence.

Another CPS cock-u…

Oh. Hang on:

After an investigation, and because of the age of both pupils, Notts Police said they would be putting the attacker, who is also 14, through a restorative justice course – aimed at making him realise the consequences of such actions – rather than charging him with a criminal offence and pursuing it through the courts.

Oh, good grief! We aren’t talking about a minor scrap here, he put the boy in hospital!

Sergeant Deb Barton, force lead in restorative justice, explained: "I am working closely with both the victim and his family and the other boy and his parents to establish a conclusion that works for everyone.

"The incident shouldn't have happened; however, it led to the victim receiving medical treatment that saved his life…"

Wait. What?

After being given first aid by the school's caretaker the victim was taken to King's Mill Hospital but later transferred to the Glenfield Hospital in Leicestershire, where doctors subsequently diagnosed him with a potentially life-threatening illness.

Oh, well, why not give the little sod a first aid certificate as well?

But wait, Officer Deb isn’t finished with her boilerplate press release:

"But instead of progressing down the criminal justice route, the victim's family simply wanted to ensure the other boy was aware of what his actions led to, and the possible consequences that any sort of violence can have.

"Restorative justice is also an important tool for us to quickly reintegrate the victim back into school.

Because hey, why should only this kid be the beneficiary of some ‘House’-style investigatory medical procedures?

Perhaps he can ask the others to meet him at the back of the bike sheds for a ‘consultation’…

"We don't want to see young people criminalised for acting rashly or making a bad decision in the heat of the moment."

Like thumping another kid in the classroom..?

Oh, and if anyone wonders where this bizarre concept of 'restorative justice' came from in the first place, well, wonder no more. It came from the EU.

Can we leave yet?

No, Really! What The Hell’s Going On In Oxford?

2012-01-12T10:30:00.001Z

A mother has told of her anger after the teenager who sexually abused her young daughter was handed an eight-day community work order for his crimes.

Her daughter was eight. Eight…

And just how had the two met?

Last night the mother of the eight-year-old victim – a foster carer who had taken the boy into her home – was joined by campaigners in condemning the sentence.

*speechless*

Oh, and it appears he likes them even younger:

The teenager was convicted of one charge of engaging in sexual activity with a girl under 13, two charges of inciting a girl under 13 to engage in sexual activity, and two counts of assault on a girl under 13.

The charges also involved another victim, aged five.

We aren’t told who that was, but we can assume it’s from a completely different family as this mother makes mention only of her daughter.

The Ministry of Justice said the supervision order could include therapy work with a specialist.

‘Could’, you’ll note. Not ‘Damn well will get therapy until he hollers ‘Uncle’…’

Ministry of Justice spokesman Georgina Mear said: “Individual sentencing decisions are matters for the independent judiciary, based on the circumstances of each case and how best to address the causes of offending behaviour.

“Youth Rehabilitation Orders require young offenders to work closely with a team of specialists to address offending behaviour, and to be referred to specialist treatment services where appropriate.”

Yes, thanks for that regurgitation of your mission statement, love, but we already know just what value it is.

And what I want to know is….was this a state-sponsored fostering, or a private arrangement? If the former, then maybe someone’s got some questions to answer.

What’s Going On In Oxford?

2012-01-12T09:05:00.001Z

Karl McCarthy was sentenced at Oxford Crown Court on Tuesday following a trial in December.

The 33-year-old was accused of throwing stones at arguing couple Theresa Bottley and Marian Cabraretti before allegedly attacking Bottley with an axe handle.

But jurors cleared McCarthy, of Toot Hill Butts, Headington, of causing grievous bodily harm with intent and unlawful wounding respectively.

Hmmm…

He was found guilty of causing actual bodily harm after throwing a container of water at the pair, which struck Mr Cabraretti.

Passing sentence, Recorder John Hardy told McCarthy: “I confess to a degree of surprise at the jury’s verdicts in your case.”

He opened proceedings by saying: “I have been puzzling over this case.

“Juries are the cornerstone of our criminal justice system and they sometimes return verdicts that occasion surprise, indeed astonishment, in some parts of the courts, but it’s the jury’s verdict that counts.”

Well, the charges are a puzzle, that's for sure. GBH for this small injury? It seems odd to me.

But, perhaps the defence was brilliant, and had some real mitigation this time?

Graham Bennett, defending, said his client was a labourer who was working on a casual basis while claiming employment support allowance due to epilepsy.

He said Mr Cabraretti suffered “a scratch to the head” during the incident in Oxford on August 4 last year which required no treatment.

Oh. OK. I guess not…

Comments, however, are rather illuminating and may throw some light on the Recorder’s evident frustration:

Dilligaf2010 says...

Scales of Justice 17th Jan 2010....
....Karl McCarthy, 31, of no fixed address, admitted possessing a machete in Cromwell Street, Oxford, on October 2. Jailed for six months due to the dangerousness of the weapon and previous conviction for wounding.

Scales of Justice 11th March 2011....
.....Karl McCarthy, 32, of Toot Hill Butts, Headington, Oxford, admitted driving without a licence or insurance in Westgate, Oxford, on January 4. Fined £260, a £15 victims’ surcharge and £85 costs. Given eight penalty points.

I think the jurors should've been given a hint as to his previous good behaviour

:P

Indeed…

Quite The Most Bizarre Apology Ever!

2012-01-11T13:15:00.001Z

Detective sergeant Nick Westwood made the "humbling" apology to Alison Richardson in front of scores of her fellow churchgoers over the "upset and distress" caused when she was arrested in 2008.

*boggle*

So, what went wrong?

Mrs Richardson was taken into custody by as many as eight officers after she and her church elder husband Clive called them because bailiffs were wrongly attempting to clamp their car.

When police arrived at the family home in Greenwich, they unlawfully barged their way into the property, roughly handled the couple and arrested Mrs Richardson.

A woman officer subsequently claimed that she had been punched in the face by Mrs Richardson.

Mrs Richardson was held in a police station for eight hours, then later taken to court and sentenced to 150 hours of community service.

But she appealed against the sentence and after serving 90 hours of her community service was completely exonerated by a judge.

Was she? Really?

Some time ago police attended the Richardsons' home address. There were bailiffs there and, in short, police officers entered the address when they didn't have any power to do so... the result was that Alison was arrested.

So, rather than being ‘completely exonerated’, this is more of a technicality, isn’t it? The entry was unlawful, so all other charges are dismissed?

After her conviction Mrs Richardson lost her criminal records bureau accreditation and had to step down from her role in her local Greenwich Seventh-day Adventist church office.

But following her successful appeal, the police took the unusual step of agreeing to make a public apology in front of Mrs Richardson, her family and her entire church congregation.

I wonder if they’d have done this for anyone else..?

No, Clearly, We Shouldn’t ‘Demonise’ The Little Darlings…

2012-01-11T11:40:00.001Z

Police are called an average of 425 times a month to children’s homes in Lancashire because youngsters have gone missing.

It is estimated that the financial strain of dealing with the issue is costing police and taxpayers around £5million per year.

Ah, yes. You can read all about the sort of homes we are talking about at Winston Smith’s excellent blog.

The figures have been included in a report entiled ‘Who Cares?’ that has been drafted by a task group of the county council’s scrutiny committee.

It has already sparked controversy, with county councillor Susie Charles, the executive member for children’s services, being accused of ‘complacency’ and attempting to ‘bury’ the report.

Perish the thought!

But Coun Charles has denied the claims and insisted several recommendations, including establishing a multi-agency hub for looked-after children, were being taken forward.

And will that ‘multi-agency hub’ go out at midnight to drag back little Aleeesha or Shevan from wherever they are hiding, or will they just be the ones to call the police, rather than whoever does it now?

But maybe it’s not something that we should worry about?

In the report, into placements by other north-west authorities into dozens of Lancashire homes, both council-run and independently-managed, county councillors have been told how:

One boy at a Rossendale care home went missing 11 times in a short period - but his social worker had not visited him for three months.

Five homes in Bacup were responsible for 80 missing from home reports.

One youngster was reported to have gone missing 40 times.

Children at a Wyre home were found taking drugs, drinking in the street and engaging in under-age sex.

One ‘prolific’ young offender, who was placed in a unnamed private care home in East Lancashire without notifying police or social services, created 'havoc' before he could be moved.

Ouch! That’s a lot of disruption. And a lot of money:

Det Supt Ian Critchley, head of the county’s public protection unit, who was interviewed by the watchdog group, estimated that each case cost the force around £1,000 to deal with, in terms of officers resources, as well as the disruption to other services.

Bill the council direct!

County councillor Peter Steen, who represents Whitworth and chaired the task group, said the looked-after children, especially those with personal difficulties, should not be ‘demonised’.

“The vast majority of children who are looked after is because there are problems in their background,” said Coun Steen.

“They are not bad, it is not their fault but they need support. But also the police need to be aware if there is someone who is vulnerable who is coming on to their patch. They need to be able to offer support.”

And the sort of people they should offer ‘support’ to? The sort of people who don’t need to be ‘demonised’?

Just two years ago Lancashire Police was forced to step in and apply for the closure of Brighton House in Waterfoot, after teenagers went on the rampage across the Rossendale valley.

And in 2008, 13-year-old Jamie Smith, who absconded from the Higher Cockham Farm home in Haslingden, was jailed for 13 years after he pushed a man into a bonfire in Birkenhead.

/facepalm

Should've Gone To Specsavers...

2012-01-11T10:25:00.001Z

Leonard Hankey, 40, was accused of waving a machete in a street in Torrington, North Devon...

Oh noes! Knife crime! Throw the book at h...

Oh. Wait.

...after the frame of the broken toy was mistaken for a deadly weapon.

Errrr, surely, if you're going to charge someone for having a machete in the street, you need....well, a machete?

Not a bit of broken scooter?

A judge imposed a conditional discharge after hearing that Mr Hankey would probably have escaped with a caution if the true facts had been known from the outset.

So, who was concealing these 'true facts', your honour? Shouldn't you be wondering about that?

Recorder Mr Kevin de Haan, QC, said he looked on it as "an offence committed impulsively", adding: "With clearer judgment you probably wouldn't have done that; you would have contacted the police or gone to see the parents."

I don't think contacting the police would have helped, if they can't tell the difference between a bit of scooter and a machete, do you?

And what of the CPS? Aren't the police always telling us they are reluctant to take on anything that isn't a slam-dunk case?

'Remonstrating' - Yr Doin' It Wrong...

2012-01-11T09:20:00.004Z

Katy Varlow, prosecuting, told Northallerton Magistrates’ Court that Wareham had driven to his former girlfriend’s parents’ home with the hammer and a crowbar on Sunday, December 11, to remonstrate with her after a text message exchange.

Yeeeeesssss, of course he did.

After police were called to the house, officers were confronted by Wareham, who then ran at them with the hammer, causing them to reverse their vehicle into another car.

/facepalm

To bring the increasingly violent situation under control, officers cordoned off the property and nearby roads were closed while armed response officers were brought in.

Miss Varlow said Wareham then leapt on the roof of his own car, and continued to make threats until two officers fired baton rounds at his stomach to subdue him.

No tasers?

Rob Hutchinson, in mitigation, said the text exchange had been the straw that broke the camel’s back for Wareham.

Mr Hutchinson said: “His behaviour was reprehensible and he recognises that.

He was in a highly charged emotional state.”

Not as 'highly charged' as he ought to have been...

Magistrates said the offence was so serious he was being given a three-month jail sentence...

Is that all..?

Oh. Wait.

...suspended for 12 months, a 12-month supervision order, and told to carry out 200 hours of community service and pay £85 costs.

*sigh*

Aren't They Going To Find It Difficult Then?

2012-01-10T11:45:00.001Z

Debt collectors will soon be used by libraries in Ongar, North Weald and further afield to target those who fail to pay their late fees.

Those who don't return their books, DVDs or CDs on time could soon find themselves being harried by an American company which specialises in recovering library fines.

OK, I see nothing wrong with this in principle, but this is a little puzzling, to say the least:

The Gazette asked the county council, under the Freedom of Information Act, how many fines remained unpaid, although the authority said it could not provide this information because it was "not held".

Then how on earth are you going to instruct the firm..?

Just A Learner As Far As Mitigation Pleas Go..?

2012-01-10T10:45:00.001Z

Miss Pidworth added: "She hasn't committed any other offences since 2007 and this is a very low-level common assault.

"She should be given credit for her early guilty plea and she is very sorry – she says she acted rashly and is looking to move out of the block of flats so there's no risk of the incident being repeated."

Because it's the building that made her assault another woman, clearly!

"She is a full-time single parent with a four-year-old son and 11-month-old daughter so she cannot pay large fines."

*speechless*

The court accepted this and gave her a conditional discharge for six months and ordered her to pay £25 costs at £10 a fortnight, starting on December 28.

Why do we bother?

No, Judge, Not Your Finest Hour, Either…

2012-01-10T08:55:00.000Z

On the night of December 6, his motorbike had broken down at the bottom of Muller Road, Eastville.

Bristol Magistrates' Court heard how he texted his girlfriend Kay Hill, and after wheeling his bike up to Gloucester Road, met up with her.

She had come by push bike with Deemond. But when the dog saw Roynon he was so excited he bolted and pulled Miss Hill off her bike.

The couple continued walking to Southmead, but by the time they got to Ullswater Road shortly before midnight, Roynon's patience was wearing thin. He hit the dog with his left hand, about 20 yards further along the road.

When Deemond stopped walking, Roynon lost his temper. He put his motorbike on its stand, kicked the dog and stamped on his head and shoulders three times.

Unluckily for him, he did it in full view of the CCTV cameras, and it wasn’t long before he was nicked.

Prosecuting, Paul Connell told the court that when interviewed by police, Roynon said Deemond was being "stubborn and unruly" .

"I was trying to break his spirit to train him," he said. "I had to pull him too. It was making my bike twice as heavy."

But reflecting on what he had done, he called himself an "idiot".

I suspect he meant ‘an idiot to have done it there, rather than behind closed doors’…

Mitigating, Ruth Tiley said about a month before the incident, he had been hit by a car while riding his motorbike, breaking two ribs and a tooth.

On the night in question, the rib injury was making wheeling the bike the several miles to Southmead difficult and he was finding it hard to breathe.

Yet he had enough puff in him to violently assault an animal? Oh, pull the other one, love!

Roynon was fined £100 and disqualified from keeping any animal indefinitely, however he can apply to have the ban lifted after a year.

He must also pay £85 costs and a £15 victim surcharge.

Ahh, the ubiquitous ‘victim surcharge’. Too much to hope it’ll go to an animal charity?

Presiding magistrate Ian Brailey told him: "Not your finest hour, I would say."

Nor yours – you should have jailed him.

The Holy Grail: The Cause Of All Disobedience In Children!

2012-01-09T15:20:00.000Z

Yes, folks, it’s been found!

One father complained his 4-year old son had taken to splashing in muddle puddles (Ed: sic. Yes, really...) on the way to school, imitating Peppa's favourite past-time.

Children never did this before ‘Peppa Pig’…

Others complained their children shouted "chocolate cake!" whenever they were asked what they would like for breakfast - just like George pig.

Children never did…

Oh, I can’t keep this up! Of course they did!

It’s just that, in the past, they’d be disciplined by their parents, who wouldn’t have dreamed of blaming some external force for children deciding to act like, well, children.

"The more I see, the more alarmed I am by the choice of behaviour put into this 'cartoon'," wrote one mother…

Wrote this where? And what's with the scare quotes, love? Do you doubt it's a cartoon?

… on parenting website Mumsnet.

Oh. I might have known…

Psychologist Dr Aric Sigman said in recent years there had been a "significant increase" in children using "adversarial, snide, questioning, confrontational and disrespectful behaviour", which he attributed to cartoons.

Cartoons have been around for a hell of a lot longer than that, so I think something else must be involved, frankly.

Maybe it’s women talking b******s to other women on websites like ‘Mumsnet’?

"There is nothing special about Peppa Pig - the same applies to all programmes. Some 80 per cent of brain development is between birth and three years old, so if they spend a lot of time watching the TV, they will copy the forms of behaviours that they see on the TV," he told the Daily Mail.

Or, just perhaps, it’s the case that the sort of mothers who use TV as a babysitter tend not to be the sort who’d raise obedient, well-behaved children irrespective of cartoons?

Some ‘Comfort’!

2012-01-09T12:50:00.000Z

Ms Smithers was fulfilling her New Year’s resolution, to exercise regularly, when a dog came towards her from an unsecured home. With not even a bark or growl, the dog latched onto Ms Smithers leaving a significant wound in the calf of her right leg, which later required six stitches.

Remaining very calm and standing still, Ms Smithers knew that if she ran she would only antagonise the dog and possibly spike a more violent attack.

When the dog latched onto her leg, Ms Smithers screamed in the hope somebody would hear something and help her.

Sadly, no one immediately heard the cries for help, but a short time later a local man heard her screams and went to help.

Well, I suspect that dog’s bound for a one-way trip to the vets and…

Oh. Wait:

The dog, that both police and council would not confirm the breed of, has been impounded pending full council investigations.

“We were told there was an alleged dog attack and our council ranger responded with the police force and seized the dog under the Companion Animals Act,” Young Shire Council acting general manager Greg Armstrong said.

“The owner told us the dog is a comfort dog and at the time of it being impounded was well behaved,” he said.

I really don’t care if it was wagging it’s tail at the time it was collected, what’s of more importance is that it bit a woman (unprovoked) and held on for some minutes!

“Until the matter is fully investigated, I can’t say whether a fine as such will be issued.”

“What can happen is the matter can go to court where legal action can issue a fine or even a destruction order,” he said.

“But it is likely the dog will be returned to the owner,” Mr Armstrong said.

Great! As if the Angry Exile's stamping ground didn’t have enough vicious and dangerous wildlife – but then, maybe that’s why this thing is described as a ‘comfort dog’?

You keep the snarling creature to see off the CrocoRedbacks..?

How Do You Get Bail For This..?

2012-01-09T11:45:00.002Z

A 10-year-old boy has been arrested over an alleged attack on two teachers at a school in south-east London.

One of the female victims suffered a broken leg and the other had a facial injury, Scotland Yard said.

That must have been quite a ferocious attack, unlerss the victim suffered from brittle bone sysndrome!

Which is all the more surprising that:

Police were called to Burwood School, in Avalon Road, Orpington, which caters for children with special educational needs, at 13:00 GMT on Thursday.

The boy, who was arrested on suspicion of causing grievous bodily harm, was bailed to return on a date in February.

*boggle*

H/T: Parkylondon via email

Scraping The Bottom Of The Mitigation Barrel...

2012-01-09T10:40:00.000Z

Simon Hirst, mitigating after the verdict, said Khrbish had no previous convictions and had denied the matter throughout.

He said a prison sentence would be more difficult for him because he was foreign.

No, a prison sentence will be 'more difficult' for him because ordinary criminals don't take kindly to grown men who attempt to strangle infants in front of their mothers...

Ladies! Commit This Photo To Memory!

2012-01-09T08:55:00.000Z

Or better yet, carry it around with you. Because after the eighth Bacardi Breezer, you might think it's worth going home with him...

The former soldier was supposed to be attending a probation-run course on domestic violence at the time, after attacking a previous partner.

That worked well, then...

Perhaps the three years he got will work better (even if he won't serve anything like three years)?

Paul Dentith, defending, said Clark had moved to Devon after that sentence which meant he had not been able to complete a course designed to address his violence.

He said: "In this incident he lost his temper after an argument and he did not have a clear recollection of what he had done. In his words, he lost it."

Anyone think we've seen the last of him?

Nope. Me neither.

Should There Really Be An App For This..?

2012-01-08T11:50:00.003Z

Wessex Water has developed a new way to help customers understand what they shouldn’t flush down the toilet.

*boggle*

Many customers have already downloaded the free app where players must intercept different objects which are thrown at the toilet and instead dispose of them in a bin.

The game includes 15 levels and different versions have been created for both adults and children.

It seems the culprits are 'disposable items', as coyly referred to by the head of sewerage services, the unfortunately named Paul Oaten (who must have really felt dropped in it when Lib Dem Mark Oaten was in all the right papers for all the wrong reasons...).

So it seems these people are smart enough to own, operate and interact with a mobile phone but not smart enough to understand that you shouldn't flush sanitary towels and nappies down the loo..?

And It Certainly Won’t Go South Of The River At That Time Of Night!

2012-01-08T10:30:00.000Z

Accidentally straying into scary areas of town could become a thing of the past, because Microsoft has been awarded a patent for direction-finding technology that finds the safest route to your destination.

And by ‘safest’ they mean ‘not via that hellhole cesspit of deviance and crime downtown where all the underclass live’:

According to the patent, the system will mine crime statistics and only suggest routes where they fall below a certain threshold.

Expecting screams of ‘racist software’ from the ACLU in 5….4….3….

"If you go down in the woods today..."

2012-01-08T09:40:00.000Z

...you probably shouldn't worry about bears so much:

A Norwich teacher discovered a pile of Second World War mortars when she stopped for a toilet break while walking in the woods.

No, they weren't hidden in a toilet, this was more of the 'find a bush and hope for no stinging nettles' type of toilet break:

The mother-of-four said: “There was a little dump of about 10 of these things. I had perched right on top of them.

“It was bit of a shock really to be sitting there and to see them – you don’t expect it.

“I guess because it was off the beaten track the chances of coming across them were quite remote.

“I was in the right place to see them.”

Thank the lord for your dicky bladder, then...

On Thursday afternoon a bomb disposal crew headed into Horsford to destroyed the mortars with a controlled explosion. They are believed to have been dumped when the woods were used as a firing range in the 1940s.

Anyone else think the reporter uses the word 'dump' a little too much in this report..?

H/T: Dave Ward via email

Sunday Funnies

2012-01-08T08:40:00.002Z

This is clearly why some movie credits almost last longer than the films...

Well, We Do Have To Think Of The Children After All, No?

2012-01-07T14:50:00.000Z

Laban points to the disturbing case of the ‘sorcery’ motive for child abuse and murder currently at court:

The jury was told the belief in kindoki – the Lingala word for sorcery – was pervasive in the Democratic Republic of Congo. Expert witnesses in the trial would make clear there was "no provision in Congolese life and culture for the maltreatment and abuse of children", Altman said.

"However, if the practice of kindoki is dislocated from the control of churches in the Congo, and the supervisory influence of religious leaders, then it may take on a feral and, indeed, evil character, as we suggest it did here."

Leaving aside the astonishing fact that this murder happened a year ago yet has only just come to trial, what are we to make of the bizarre proposal that there’s nothing wrong with this sort of thing unless there are no Church authorities here to keep an eye on it?

Hmmmm.

Well, one solution would be to no longer admit DRC refugees, in case this happens again, wouldn’t it?

Don’t Let The Door Hit You You-Know-Where On The Way Out..

2012-01-07T13:25:00.000Z

Alexander Chancellor bows out of the ‘Guardian’ after fifteen years.

Fifteen years in which he apparently learned nothing:

My hope for the new year is that everyone will become a little thicker-skinned. When so many casual remarks nowadays provoke public fury, relaxed discourse becomes all but impossible. Diane Abbott's tweet yesterday about how "white people love to play 'divide and rule'" with black people (see page 13) was, as Nick Clegg said, "stupid", but hardly worth making a fuss about.

Really, Alexander? You’ve spent fifteen years on CiF and not noticed that making a fuss over what people say rather than what they do is pretty much the default setting there?

White people (dare I generalise?) are presumably confident enough to survive this mild aspersion without resort to racial violence.

Whereas I guess black people aren’t, so Tweets perceived as ‘racist’ according to them had better be suppressed pretty damn quick, or else the darkies be riotin’ and rapin’ in Hackney?

Are you really sure that’s what you meant to imply? Good god!

Blundering on even further:

What appalled white San Franciscans was, of course, the craziness and random nature of the killings. If being white was on its own a good enough reason for somebody to murder you, there could be no security for anyone. And to recall the fear and bewilderment then prevalent among the white people of San Francisco is to understand better the horror and misery felt by black people in Britain over the killing of Stephen Lawrence as he waited innocently at his Eltham bus stop all those years ago.

A fair point, and a good one. Which he then just has to ruin…

One unusual thing about the Zebra Murders was that they were perpetrated by members of an ethnic minority against members of the ethnic majority. It is normally the other way round, as it is from the majority that racial hate killings usually come.

/facepalm

No Bandwagon Too Out Of Date To Climb On!

2012-01-07T11:45:00.000Z

A former senior police officer is being urged to apologise for the "outrageous" comments he made about Stephen Lawrence's family.

Recent comments?

Coulsdon West councillor David Osland, Scotland Yard deputy commissioner at the time of the stabbing in 1993, provoked fury when he said officers accused of racism by the teenager's parents should take legal action against them.

Oh, so, at the time of the stabbing?

Mr Osland wrote a memo to then Commissioner Sir Paul Condon on September 1993, which read: "Our patience is wearing thin on 3 Area, not only with the Lawrence family and their representatives but also with self-appointed media commentators."

Criticising the sainted Doreen! Oh noes!

But even then, the ‘offensive’ comment wasn’t made at the time. It was made in 1997:

In 1997, buoyed by an initial investigation by Kent Police which ruled out racism as the cause of the murder probe's failings, Mr Osland told the Advertiser that officers should sue the family.

He added: "The Lawrences seem happy to accept the findings of the report where it suits them but not where it doesn't".

Fair comment? Well, yes. Who could possibly object to that?

Well, who do you think?

Gee Bernard, founder of Croydon Afro Caribbean Family Organisation, called on Cllr Osland to apologise.

"Now he has seen the full facts he has the opportunity to retract his outrageous comments," she said.

"He should apologise to the family and to the community."

Labour leader Tony Newman added: "Surely it's time for Cllr Osland to say sorry?"

Well, no. The trial that's just concluded found two people guilty of murder; it didn't find David Osland guilty of anything, nor did it mean that his comments became invalid - far from it!

Though I suppose he can always copy Diane Abbott’s non-apology word for word. I wonder if that would suit?

This Is Why Twitter Is So Compelling!

2012-01-07T10:35:00.003Z

I know some bloggers aren't into Twitter, not seeing the point of it or wondering what the attraction really is if they do most of their work on PC and don't have a smartphone.

I used to think the same. In fact, I only registered with it when I got my iPhone, and planned it to be just a 'broadcast' option for my blog when I eventually did sign up.

But Twitter has a way of sucking you in. You quickly get the hang of the little fads and foibles, the cliques, who will communicate with you and who won't, the traditions (like #ff) and the peculiarities.

And what you most appreciate is the immediacy of it, and never more so than at times like yesterday afternoon, when poor Bob Holness died.

As news broke on Twitter, and people posted messages of condolence, some hapless fool in Ed Miliband's office (Guido thinks it likely to be Kenny Young, or someone working to him) decided to do the same. It's easy to see why, it's a chance to humanise the Dear Leader, who was probably still firefighting the furore caused by Diane Abbott's unwise Tweet the previous day.

The rest, of course, is history. Immediately, his unfortunate and somewhat Freudian typo was flashed around the Twitterverse and a new Twittermeme was launched: #EdMilibandGameShows

And the Tweeps were merciless....

But the award winner for its vicious accuracy must surely go to Mr Eugenides for this little gem:

And that is why I love Twitter! It's pithy, it's concise, and most of all, it's immediate.

The Reason Why The Macpherson Report Was Such A Poisonous Legacy…

2012-01-07T09:30:00.001Z

From an article in (where else?) the ‘Guardian’:

In this country we waste an awful lot of talent. Bright children from second-, third- or even fourth-generation (black) families from the former colonies are too often denied the equal opportunities that are offered to their white schoolmates.

A flat statement of fact, with no supporting evidence for what he claims at all.

Right, I see where this is going…

But what of the police as employers of minorities? They are, after all, major employers, and probably the largest apprenticeship scheme in the UK. In 2009...I asked the Met's head of human resources how many GCSEs one needed to sign up as a probationary police officer. He had to send his staff officer to find out. Both were startled at the answer. None. The applicant had to pass (a very simple) literacy and numeracy test, and they were in.

Well, great! So black kids have an equal chance of being morons and getting into the police force as white kids!

/facepalm

But apparently, having entry requirements that my cat could probably pass still isn’t enough for this chap. These kids need more help, damn it!

Unlike the army, police services don't have an Army Educational Corps (as they did when I did national service). That is a serious weakness that must be corrected if we want sharp-thinking officers serving us.

Officers like PC Jasbir Dhanda, perhaps? Or the likes of Ali Dizai?

Police services, however, do deserve genuine praise for recent improvements in dealing with discrimination in employment. Women now occupy senior posts in numbers that would have been unthinkable 13 years ago.

Yes, yes, they do. Sterling officers like, say, Cressida Dick! Truly, a momentous leap forwards, eh?

In the wake of such a damning inquiry, I would have expected to see a broad wave of black officers at or above the level of commander, as is the wave of women there now.

Would you? Because, frankly, I’d rather have good men and women in the top job, regardless of colour.

Tokenism just gets you more Cressidas, more Alis, and a pervading feeling for the ones who aren’t like Cressida or Ali that they only got where they were because of what they are, not who they are…

In relation to police forces as employers, the Lawrence inquiry recommended "a ministerial priority" that should include "performance indicators in relation to levels of recruitment, retention and progression of minority ethnic recruits … with the overall aim of elimination of racism, prejudice and disadvantage in its demonstration of fairness in all aspects of policing".

A recipe for utter failure, and one of the reasons the police force is so utterly debased and discredited today.

Enough of this anger-creating suppression of the hopes and opportunities of people from black backgrounds. My message to white (mainly) men (like me), who have the power to discriminate is this: just stop doing it.

And who is this cretin, you ask?

Why, this is who he is:

Dr Richard Stone was a panel member of the Stephen Lawrence inquiry as an adviser to the judge, Sir William Macpherson, and the author in 2009 of Stephen Lawrence Review: an independent commentary to mark the 10th anniversary of the Stephen Lawrence Inquiry.

And now you know why MacPherson was such a travesty.

How could it be otherwise, with people this blinkered and self-admittedly partisan on it?

False Perspective..?

2012-01-06T12:45:00.001Z

It's an old hunter's trick - place yourself some way behind the buffalo/lion/boar you've just shot, crouch down, and it looks a lot bigger in the resulting photo.

But actually, I think this one really IS that size:

It's a monster! And the woman's not much better...

The single mother of Logan, two, and Brandon, one, said she was told by the bus driver to get off the bus twice on Wednesday, December 7, and once on Saturday, December 10, after someone in a wheelchair needed to get on the bus and Chloe’s double buggy was in the only space.

Miss Chesterton said: “I had paid my fare, but I was forced to get off the bus. There should be a first come-first serve policy on the buses.

“The same thing happened to me when I used to live up north and it is terrible.”

You have a choice in having kids and a monster vehicle to transport them in. The people who have to use wheelchairs don't.

This calls for something more than the World's Tiniest Violin...

Yeah. That'll do.

Update: APILN has more of this from across the border.