Post Title Of The Month

David Thompson, on the Google memo debate that kicked off August for us:

Quote Of The Month

Dick Puddlecote on the NHS treatment of e-gig users, as exemplified by their treatment of the much missed Anna Raccoon in her final hours:

"As you can see, oxygen on its own cannot burn, it requires a source of ignition, and even exposed terminals from a dripper can't do that on their own. Something else has to be involved to cause a problem, as the video poster says: 

"It is possible, if she's got a 40 watt dripper (which sets light to bedding - DP), and her oxygen feed has oxygenated a blanket, for an e-cig to cause a fire. I don't think so myself, I suspect it might be some other source of ignition" 

Anna wouldn't have even known what a dripper is, let alone owned one, and I would challenge absolutely anyone to try to light any material with an Ego. It would be like trying to start a barbecue with a TV remote control."

Post Of The Month

Flaxon Saxon has work issues, and Blocked Dwarf takes a trip to Harling...

Has It Occurred To You To Check Local Hospitals?

A Suffolk Police spokeswoman said: “We are investigating this incident and would like to hear from anyone who witnessed it, or who may have seen a bike matching this description being ridden in the area.”

“We are increasing foot patrols in the area and would urge local people to report any information or any suspicious activity to police.”

...since there's every indication one of the little scrotes is injured? Hopefully permanently.

Another Triumph For The Police Diversity Project!

A police officer who conspired with his brother to frame a colleague by accusing her of taking drugs has been jailed.

And yes, you guessed it!

PC Joseph Prasad, 32, attached to Specialist Crime and Operations, was sentenced on Thursday, August 24, at Lewes Crown Court to seven years after he was found guilty of perverting the course of public justice and conspiracy to pervert the course of justice with malicious communication.

One count of possession of class A drugs is to lie on file.

Lovely!

Further investigative work revealed that Pc Prasad was in possession of two mobile phones. One of the phones had been used to make the anonymous call to police on June 7. Further analysis showed numbers linked to him had made numerous anonymous calls over a two-month period to police, Crimestoppers and the Directorate of Professional Standards (DPS) giving false information in an attempt to get his colleague arrested.

And why? Because she was his ex-girlfriend. Mind how you go!

I Just Can't Quite Put My Finger On It...

A group of housing benefit assessors fraudulently claimed more than £1million using false names, a court heard.

The council workers then put the money into bank accounts set up with fake passports, it was alleged.

The seven assessors worked for councils across London including Kingston, Lambeth and Barking & Dagenham.

...but there's something that seems to link all the defendants.

Why Do We Value These People Over Our Own?

Jamshid Piruz was told to serve at least five years for the violent attack in Crawley in January last year.

But a Court of Appeal judge has since decided to cut back the minimum term to three years - meaning the “potentially very dangerous” 35-year-old could be back on the streets in less than two and a half years.

Matt Webb, chairman of the Sussex Police Federation, said it was “highly frustrating” a convicted murderer was being treated “so leniently”, adding: “These officers were attacked and assaulted while simply doing their job - investigating crime and seeking to bring criminals to justice.

“I do not believe for one moment that had Piruz attacked a member of the judiciary while they carried out their work that he would be freed in such quick time.

“Policing is a risky business, but being assaulted is not part of the job and will never be part of the job.”

So...why was the sentence reduced?

Piruz, who the court heard witnessed his parents’ murder by the Taliban when he was 11, admitted burglary and two counts of attempting to cause grievous bodily harm with intent and affray.

Judge Jeremy Gold, sentencing, branded him a “potentially very dangerous man” who could not control his “acute psychotic episodes” and said he had no reason “whatsoever” to inflict such “truly terrifying violence”.

Handing down the Court of Appeal judgment, Justice Timothy Holroyde noted the officers had been in fear for their lives, had battled disturbed sleep and anxiety ever since and serious injury had been avoided “only” through the actions of the officers. But he noted Piruz’s traumatic childhood.

There you go. He was 'a victim', to the British judiciary, bless their hearts.

A Strange Way of ‘Bettering Oneself’…

Following the convictions, Nsaka’s family said they struggled to understand how their loved one who was “not a fighter” could have been killed.

They said he had a “heart of gold and never held any grudges” and was at university because he wanted to better himself.

And how did he try to do that?

On 18 January, the three friends were walking through the university when one of the defendants, Kawa, passed by and gave Tamfuri a “screw-face” look, jurors heard.

The next day, they asked a female friend of Kawa’s why he had stared at them angrily and she accused Tamfuri of giving him the “screw-face” expression. He told her to tell Kawa he should “be humble” and she replied in sarcastic tones: “Don’t worry, I will tell him,” jurors heard.

The friends were out in Camden when the defendants arrived at the halls to have it out with them, jurors were told.

A security guard ejected the men and overheard one of them tell Tamfuri’s girlfriend: “I don’t beat girls, bring your boyfriend. I’m gonna kill him, bring him outside.” As they left, one of them shouted: “Watch, watch, watch,” the court heard.

The three students returned at about 1am and were approached by the three men in a dark green Rover. The driver, Tas, shouted: “Humble who, humble whom, what you saying?”

He punched Bonda in the face and Kawa produced a large knife from the waistband of his trousers and tried to stab him with it, the court heard.

Bonda saw a third man, matching the description of Davies, also produce a knife.

The victim shouted to them to stop, saying, “Allow it”, but Kawa continued saying “Humble who?”

Nsaka threw a traffic cone at the men but was left behind as his friends ran back into the halls of residence, the court heard.

A neighbour saw him collapse on the ground in a pool of blood as the three men got back into the car. He was pronounced dead just before 2am.

Ah, by getting in with a bunch of friends whose mouths wrote checks their body couldn't cash, then ran away like the cowards they were...

Oh, They'll Turn Up This Time, Love...

....it'll be to arrest you:

Amy Jo has been walking the streets to try and identify the boys and says she has been able to identify the boy who kicked Solly, but claims the police have failed her cat by not taking action.

She has now taken to social media and threatened to name the boys if no action is taken.

Just tell the cops they Tweeted something mean about you on Facebook, love. It's the only thing that gets them off their arses these days...

On Facebook, she wrote: 'I have been searching again and now have the same name over and over again. I've knocked locally and people confirm this is him.

'I have [gone down] the right channel. I have contacted the police and they are supposed to call me back! Do they? Course they don't.

'Solly's being let done left right and centre. Within the next 24 hours the name along with the pictures and all I have will be posted!!!!'

Sadly, it seems that we now have to investigate crime ourselves even when we have the CCTV. What's the betting they immediately jump on this and threaten her with arrest?

A spokesperson from London Metropolitan Police said: 'No arrests have been made.

Enquiries continue.'

The ones you aren't making...?

Sure, you'll say 'It's just a cat, and we have to prioritise'. But that's often how it starts with these scum, and we've all seen recently where it can end...

Water Is The Worst Disaster...

...because it doesn't matter how 'rich' your country is.

Fire? Enough resources will put it out. Earthquake? Enough resources will shift the rubble. Hurricane? You can take shelter, and clean up afterwards.

But water? You just have to wait it out, until it recedes.

And this is Texas, not Louisiana.

There'll be no scenes like Katrina here.

FULL HOUSE!!!

*gets popcorn*

Oh, Twitter, Don't Ever Change...

I know of no greater vehicle for popping the bubbles of the self-righteous & the high and mighty...

H/T: @DrGABaines via Twitter

Sunday Funnies....

Clearly, the ginormous budgets go on the effects, with none left for the art department...

We Have Finally Gone Mad...

LBC has learned that Transport for London and the Met Police are working to protect Grenfell Tower from selfie-takers, as two million people pass through Notting Hill for the carnival this weekend.

Wait, what?

Their work includes using barriers to block off streets around the site, with extra police officers in place to make sure only residents can access the area close to the tower, as well as preserving the many tributes which have been left out on railings and walls.

Locals tell us it’s to stop thousands of what they call ‘grief tourists’ from making detours during Carnival to get close to the building and take pictures and selfies.

Now, I cannot imagine why anyone would want to do so but...it's a free country. And it's also one supposedly in 'austerity measures' (Ed: *hollow laughter*) isn't it?

So why can we apparently spend money on this sort of mawkish twaddle?

TfL, meanwhile, are doing even more. LBC’s been shown an email that shows they’ve started putting up barriers along the railway line at Latimer Road station, and will be keeping tubes on the platform for longer to obscure the view of the tower.

So if your journey takes longer, you know why. Because we've lost all sense of proportion in this country.

There will also be automated messages at stations and on the trains between Hammersmith and Paddington, reminding people to move quickly when they get off at Latimer Road station, to be respectful and not take pictures of the ruins.

When does Teresa May make her horse a consul?

H/T: @MaraudingWinger via Twitter

Perverse Incentives...

Youngsters at risk of being caught up in crime and disorder at Notting Hill Carnival are being removed from the area...

Hurrah!

...and taken on a £20,000 water sports holiday.

*blinks*

The Alternative to Carnival Engagement (ACE) scheme, which is organised by the council’s former youth service Epic CIC, was set up five years ago.

Good god! 'Act like a little thug & you'll get a holiday'. What could go wrong?

He added: “In the months leading up to Carnival, the young people are supported with one-to-one mentoring, independent living skills, healthy eating, as well as knife and gang awareness sessions.”

Aren't those all things their parents should be teaching them?

Commenting on the project, Emma Dent Coad, Labour MP for Kensington, said: “a lot of our young people have been failed by our society and we must do anything we can to try to keep them on the straight and narrow.

“This scheme may not work for everybody but it may work for some.”

No, love. They've been failed by their useless, couldn't-care-less parents, not by society.

And what's the cost benefit of this scheme? How much is each of these 'few' costing the taxpayer?

H/T:  @VOTEfascistCOW via Twitter

Guardian Column ‘Why Immigrants Are Better Than Us’ No 23984568

You say that you feel a level of patriotism towards Britain, but that it’s a very dysfunctional country when it comes to race.

I say that I enjoy a level of patriotism that only immigrants can really have, as we have the objectivity of living elsewhere. That’s the crux of it. But the conversation that we have about race in this country is pushed to absurdity, as it’s always taken to extremes. The moderate opinion – which is usually the most prevalent one – isn’t heard as much. It’s the more extreme voices that are allowed to be heard and that makes moderates feel uneasy about discussing it.

Why do I think he's not talking about the extreme left wing voices here..?

If The First Question The Investigating Officer Had Wasn't 'HOW..?!?'...

...then he's got no business in uniform! But no, of course they just kept on and on investigating her claims & banging up yet more and more totally innocent men:

Prosecutor Madeleine Moore told the court police spent 6,400 hours investigating Beale's claims at a cost of at least £250,000, and the trial cost at least £109,000.

 But hey, it's only taxpayers' money, right?

Lawrence Henderson, defending, said Beale still maintains her innocence, and she was considering appealing against sentence.

He told the court: 'Ms Beale stands by the claims she made in this matter and if she had her time again she would again plead not guilty to these matters and contest the trial.'

Sure, why not? She'll almost certainly get legal aid. And as I type this, I've no doubt whatsoever that someone, somewhere is penning a CiF column about how these cases are so rare, and she's really a 'victim' herself.

"We Need More Female Judges, Because... Ummm....Errr...."

...Saul was given a two-year suspended sentence and 250 hours unpaid work by Judge Catherine Newman, QC, who admitted her sentence was “wholly exceptional” and fell outside sentencing guidelines.

The judge told Southwark Crown Court yesterday: “I’m taking a considerable risk that the Crown will think it lenient and appeal, but it’s a risk I’m willing to take.”

How nice for you!

Lucie Daniels, defending Saul, had argued she was “shaken” by the loss of her grandmother in 2013 and was a committed charity worker.

I lost my grandmother, didn't begin a gambling 'addiction' and rip off my boss. How about you, reader?

The court heard Saul used her role as office manager to create fake invoices to pay cash into her own bank account before switching the details to avoid detection.

She was only caught when she went on maternity leave in December 2016 and a new chief financial office took over and spotted hundreds of fake invoices.

Not just a spur of the moment thing, then?

Judge Newman said she was on the brink of giving her a sentence of three years and four months, before being persuaded she was unfit for prison.

Ms Newman said: “It has caused considerable harm to your employer which could ill afford to lose such a substantial sum, but thankfully survived. Your grandmother’s death rocked the stability of your hitherto good citizenship.

“You had a steady partner who had no idea of your gambling addiction and stands by you. I’m prepared to take the wholly exceptional course of reducing your sentence and suspend it.”

Ah, if only it was 'wholly exceptional'. In fact, it's so common that there's a term for it...

She was ordered to pay just £360 costs, a little over £10 for every £1000 she stole from her company.

Perhaps when they review the sentence, they could consider making the judge serve it too?

The Curious Case Of The Dog In The Nearby Property...

A Staffy cross that bit a dog and its owner in a Larkhall garden is to be rehoused in a dog sanctuary for rehabilitation.

And its owner, 33-year-old Kelly McFarlane, of Fairholm Road, was yesterday (Wed) fined £200 on a charge under the Dangerous Dogs Act.

Not put down? So not a serious attack then?

It took three people to restrain the Staffordshire Bull Terrier cross and a police dog unit was needed to take the animal away.

Ah. Maybe not.

The Crown had sought the dog’s destruction when McFarlane admitted the charge last month. However, at Hamilton Sheriff Court yesterday McFarlane’s lawyer Kenneth Bonnington pointed out that sentence had subsequently been deferred to determine if the dog could be rehoused, adding that he had received a letter from a dog sanctuary offering to try to rehabilitate the Staffy cross.

He explained to Sheriff Marie Smart that the sanctuary would make the decision if the dog could be rehabilitated and it would always be muzzled in public.

McFarlane, he added, was happy that the dog, currently in a police pound, could be saved.

I'm not! How did this incident unfold, exactly?

Police had attended at McFarlane’s home at 6.45pm on April 10 this year in connection with an unrelated matter.

They asked her where her dog was and she replied that she did not know.

On leaving McFarlane’s home officers went to a nearby property in Sunnyside Road at 7.15pm.

Once there, they saw Mr McMahon trying to restrain the dog in the garden. The Staffy cross then attacked Mr McMahon’s dog. While Mr McMahon tried to separate the dogs, McFarlane’s dog bit him on the right hand.

Hmmm, an 'unrelated matter', but the cops were interested in the whereabouts of Fido?

The court had also been told that McFarlane had told officers following the attack that she had rescued the dog which had previously been used for dog fighting.

So it's already been rescued once, and squandered that opportunity. Why the leniency? Is the thing a refugee?

The NHS, Gawd Bless it!

An NHS worker is being investigated by police and social services over allegedly feeding her two toddlers turpentine to cure 'parasites' that she believes are infecting their bodies.

The mother, who is not being named for legal reasons, is believed to work in healthcare and was formerly an employee of Hull Royal Infirmary.

She was reported to police after posting in a private Facebook group appearing to confess to giving her two children aged under five the dangerous substance by 'tricking' them and disguising it in juice.

*speechless*

Emma, from London, has campaigned for autism rights for more than four years and has previously spoken out on the use of bleach enemas on autistic children by their parents.

Two weeks ago, social services were forced to take safeguarding measures against one mother who had allegedly used bleach as a 'cure' for her son's severe autism.

What the hell..?

A spokesperson from Hull Royal Infirmary confirmed the mother was a former employee but is no longer an employee of the trust.

But might be working at a hospital near you. Somewhere.

This Would Be Funny, If We Weren't Forced To Pay For Their Box-Ticking Incompetence...

Miss Settimo-Bovio claims the police took Alfie because of an incident at the end of June.

She said: 'I had totally forgotten about it so when the police came, it was completely out the blue.'

On June 21, she said she received a delivery from an online order and, because Alfie becomes excited around people and she lives on the ground floor, she asked the courier to leave the package outside the door. About 10 minutes later she went outside, but the courier was still there at the back of his van and Alfie ran through her legs to chase him.

Oh noes! Thank goodness we have the Dangerous Dogs Act! Why, anything could have happened!

It was reported the dog was 'possibly a Border Collie or similar size' but when police arrived they discovered Alfie was in fact a Yorkshire Terrier.

Well, then, it's lucky for everyone seven of the useless bastards turned up in vans!

Kingston Police Dog Unit in action. You can't be too careful!

She told MailOnline: 'The police have not rang me and I don't know anything about what's happening.

'I was supposed to have an appointment at 11am yesterday but when I went they said they didn't know anything so I went back today but the guy dealing with it is apparently sick, so I am having to wait for their call so can't go out.

'I'm in shock. I suffer from anxiety and stress, and this has made it so much worse. It was really over the top to send so many people for such a small dog.'

This is the absolute last fucking straw.

Any so-called public service that can callously treat an elderly lady like this over such a trivial matter, whilst cowering in impotence before every politically-correct 'victim group' going, is not worth an hour of my time.

Come defend this, if you dare.

Every…Single…Year!

A seven-year-old girl was left with horrifying chemical burns and scars after getting a black henna tattoo on a holiday in Egypt.

Gosh! Here's a familiar story. It's like the first swallow of summer. Or the first near-drowning of summer.

Do we have chavnames and inadequate parents? Reader, of course we do...

Madison Gulliver was on holiday when her father Martin allowed her to get the temporary tattoo on her arm at a four-star hotel.

/facepalm

Mr Gulliver, 50, a Royal Mail manager from the Isle of Wight, said: 'She is potentially scarred for life after getting a black henna tattoo.

'The tattoo was done in the hotel's salon and they claim it's not the henna and that it's my daughters skin.

'She has blisters from her finger to her elbow and is in so much pain.

'We were entirely unaware of the dangers and I think they should warn of this in the brochures. 

'I think it's partly my fault because I didn't know about it, but also the fault of the salon because they are using dangerous chemicals on children.

'We would have thought that the travel agents would have had concerns about this.

'We want to get the message out to other people.'

Jeez, where to start?

The Criminal Justice System At ‘Work’…

Forsythe was known by police as an “aggressive beggar” who frequented Barking and Ilford town centres.

He was stopped by officers while riding a bicycle he had just stolen on June 8 but managed to run away from the scene.

How? Were they the recipients of the XXXL trousers, or something?

Forsythe was arrested a few weeks later by officers about a series of thefts from mailboxes and was subsequently charged but failed to turn up at court.

When he was stopped by police in Ilford Lane on July 17 for this exact offence, he kicked a police officer and lashed out while trying to evade arrest.

The next day, he was convicted of the two offences at Barkingside Magistrates’ Court and was given a three-month suspended prison sentence.

And we can see how well that worked!

He was also banned from entering Barking town centre, begging and having an open alcoholic container in a public place after being given a CBO.

However, 10 days later PS Schoorl discovered Forsythe had broken into a car after spotting him in Ilford Lane.

Then just two days after that, he was also seen begging in Ripple Road. As officers attempted to arrest Forsythe for breaking his CBO, he violently resisted and and kicked an officer. He was subsequently charged with these additional offences before being convicted last month.

And this time, he got a sentence commensurate with his crimes?

He was sentenced to four months and two weeks’ imprisonment on the same day.

Oh.

Just What Southend Needs – Yet Another Bar & Restaurant!

A proposal has been submitted to replace independent department store Ravens on Clifftown Road, Southend, with a bar and restaurant.

The applicant, SKArchitects, located in London Road, Westcliff, proposed to convert the property from into an eatery.

Oh, praise the lord! Now there'll be somewhere to grab a bite to eat in Southend!

We're saved from starvation!

The proposal was welcomed by Southend councillors who believed a bar and restaurant could drive business and more footfall to the borough.

Have the other 30-40 bars, restaurants and cafes not done that then?

The Mysterious Case Of The 'Troublemakers' In The Seaside Town...

A seaside town reportedly went into "lockdown" on Saturday night as disorder forced pubs and bars in the resort to shut.

Venues in Cromer, Norfolk, closed for the "safety of customers and staff". Some remained closed on Sunday.

The 'Mail' blames 'troublemakers'.

So is it football hooligans? Car cruisers? Mods & Rockers?

The wife of the owner of the Masala Twist restaurant said she was pinned behind a door by six women shouting abuse as she screamed that they were breaking her arm on Saturday night.

Aryun Nessa said she and her husband, together with their young daughter and nephew, had been trying to get up to 40 people to leave their restaurant after they started shouting and stealing bottles of beer.

"The door was shut on my arm - I am quite badly bruised and it's very painful," she said.

"It's a lovely town - calm, quiet, with lovely people, but after last night's experience it has got me thinking what are we doing here."

More to the point, what are they doing there?

North Norfolk MP Norman Lamb said: "Certainly from the people I've talked to in the town, what happened yesterday was pretty intolerable and it is really important that the police deal very firmly with the perpetrators of this."

Well, quite! So what have they been doing?

Supt Malcolm Cooke of Norfolk Police said: "We acknowledge there have been a number of incidents in Cromer over the weekend, which will understandably cause concern.

"However, I can assure residents these incidents have been dealt with appropriately and are of a nature routinely dealt with in towns such as Cromer on a busy August weekend."

Really? Pull the other one, Mal ol' chum, it's got bells on it. Any arrests? No?

Gosh. I wonder why?

H/T: wiggia via email

Ay Karimba!

...as Bart Simpson doesn't say:

You'd think if they'd Googled it to know it was the world's biggest lake, they'd have spelled it right.

H/T: Stephen Brown via email

"Hey, Ever Read This Book, Or Watched This Film?"

"'Tarka The...' Errr, no?"

"Never mind, you can do the obit anyway..!"

Sunday Funnies...

Today's 'Well, I never knew that!' moment...

Cheap Food = Cheap Alcohol = ?

With more than two months to go before Philip Pullman’s long-awaited new novel from the world of His Dark Materials is published, pre-orders have sent La Belle Sauvage flying up bestseller lists.

But with booksellers already slashing the cover price in half, the award-winning author has spoken out about how cheap books devalue the experience of reading, and called for an end to the “pernicious” doctrine of “market fundamentalism” if literary culture is to survive.

Well, seems the answer is 'cheap books'.

Wait.Seriously?

“It’s easy to think that readers gain a great deal by being able to buy books cheaply. But if a price is unrealistically cheap, it can damage the author’s reputation (or brand, as we say now), and lead to the impression that books are a cheap commodity and reading is an experience that’s not worth very much.”

Maybe it isn't? There's thousands upon thousands of available books. They can't all be best sellers.

Maybe some are the equivalent of junk food, some the equivalent of cheap plonk. Isn't it up to the consumer to decide which is which?

He suggested the government should coordinate a search for new ways of working, involving representatives from across the book trade.

Oh. Of course. Leave it to the government, they'll sort it out!

Pullman said that he was “not blaming any one of the parties involved in the book trade in particular” for the current situation, because “I want the whole trade to prosper”. Instead, he looked to “a simple villain – the doctrine of market fundamentalism, that the market knows best, and that a free market is the best of all possible states”.

Maybe you're right, Phil, 'ol son...

*cancels pre-order of Pullman's new book on Amazon*

That feels better!

Vale, Vale....

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,

Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone.

Silence the pianos...

The news we'd all been dreading was broken yesterday by Old Holborn on Twitter:

Fare thee well, wherever you are...

Then Nick Them, Don’t Whine About It!

PC Ian Risden, from the Castle Point and Rochford community policing team, was one of the police officers who attended the scene.

Soon after the incident, he tweeted to say that abuse had been hurled in his and his team’s direction when dealing with the situation.

He tweeted: “My team and officers from Essex Police roads policing unit have been trying to deal with a crash with injuries this morning in Benfleet.

“We have been subjected to abuse by a member of the public.

“This is not acceptable someone is injured and needs help.

“Disruption unavoidable.”

Is this what the police have come to? Is this what they use social media for? Whining that people were mean to them, like a teenage girl?

In Twitter Veritas...

One of the things about modern social media - best or worst things? you decide - is its immediacy gives you an insight into peoples' true thoughts:

Never mind the grocer's apostrophe, feel the assumption that all those other terror attacks by Islamic extremists had a kinda point, really...

Still, at least she's unelected. Unlike Plaid Cymru leader Leanne Wood:

Because when you hear there's been a murderous rampage in a van, the first thing that comes to mind is 'right wing terror'...

Comparing Apples And Orangutans* Again

The ban has divided opinions in the country, particularly after it recently made headlines for animal welfare policy after Copenhagen Zoo slaughtered the “surplus” young male giraffe Marius.

Wait, what? What have those two things got to do with one another?

On Twitter, David Krikler (@davekriks) wrote: “In Denmark butchering a healthy giraffe in front of kids is cool but a kosher/halal chicken is illegal.”

Byakuya Ali-Hassan (@SirOthello) said it was “disgusting” that “the same country that slaughtered a giraffe in public to be fed to lions… is banning halal meat because of the procedures”.

Mogens Larsen (@Moq72), from Aalborg in Denmark, tweeted: “Denmark bans the religious slaughter of animals. Not even zoo lions are allowed a taste of halal giraffe.”

The humane slaughter of a giraffe - regardless of what they did with the carcass - is nothing to do with the barbaric practice of halal or kosher slaughter.

* No orangutans were ritually slaughtered in the creation of this post

Six Months Later....

Remember this case?

Councillors decided Tipple, in Queen’s Road, Brighton, should no longer have permission to sell alcohol as a result of the tax evasion.

But owner Koray Tatlidede challenged the decision in court – until yesterday when his appeal was rejected and the original ruling upheld.

And the bill increased:

Brighton magistrates instead ordered the 33-year-old Turkish businessman to repay council legal costs of more than £3,000 in addition to his HMRC bill for corporation tax and VAT.

I bet the council doesn't see a penny of that...

Great, More Data For The Met To Ignore….

….because they are terrified the little darlings might fall off and hurt themselves!

Dr Hira Virdee plans to use data science and analytics to follow suspected moped criminals and then alert police to their whereabouts.

The 28-year-old launched @MopedSpotted after he was mugged for his mobile phone while walking in Lincoln’s Inn Fields last month. He jumped in a taxi and gave chase to the four youths on three mopeds — who then snatched a phone from another victim nearby.

Dr Virdee reported the thefts to the police but two days later he received an email from the Met saying that they were taking no further action because there were no leads.

After two days? Didn't try very hard, did they?

He said: “I understand the police are overwhelmed but I doubt whether they followed up all the CCTV leads they could have.

“I decided if no one else was going to collect evidence then there was an opportunity for someone else to collect information on moped crimes and suspects.”

The Twitter account asks people to report sightings of possible moped suspects so they can be tracked in real time. The information can then be passed to police.

Dr Virdee, who has a PhD in physics and engineering and works for a data company, says he has already tracked one suspect group in Finsbury Park.

He said: “It means we can quickly identify hotspots of crime and build up a picture of where these criminals are operating. I get a lot of cab drivers reporting sightings of mopeds.”

So you're doing the Met's job alongside your own, one your taxes pay for, and they are doing...well, what, exactly?

A Reaction That Judges Should Get Used To...

Addressing Battle, who appeared via videolink, Judge Ian Graham said: “You have a long, long criminal record, including offences of violence.”

He handed him a 16 month prison term.

At that point, Battle blew a loud raspberry. He then made V-gestures with both hands before making another gesture in front of the camera and walking off.

...because pretty soon, that'll be the reaction of even the most law-abiding of us.

Those Awful, Savage Cuts To NHS Mental Health Services…

In a public outreach exercise that revealed the distress suffered by those closest to the tragedy, health professionals visited thousands of people from the area to determine if they needed help from the NHS.

The Central and North West London NHS Foundation Trust said staff had knocked on 2,200 doors in the west London neighbourhood and that 600 people, including 100 children, had been referred to the mental health services.

Wait, I thought they were stretched to breaking point? How come you've got time to go out soliciting for business? 

Ah, Southend's Vibrant Night Life!

Kier Godfree, 26, fractured a pool player’s nose - causing permanent scaring - during a large-scale affray at the Borough Hotel, in Marine Parade, Southend.

Mykee Bowers, 23, punched a young woman in the face - leaving her with two black eyes, a split lip and nerve damage to her cheek.

Otherwise known as 'a typical Southend evening's entertainment' in certain areas.

Charlotte Davison, prosecuting, said the incident started after Bowers, of Weaverdale, Shoebury, got into an argument with the man.

She said pub staff described Bowers as “extremely agitated” and “aggressive.”

A staff member initially defused the situation but Bowers “rushed past him and started swinging punches.”

The court was played CCTV footage of the incident, which showed a huge brawl involving several men.

Lovely!

Dreadlocked Godfree, of Mendip Crescent, Westcliff, then got involved. The father-of-three, who promotes reggae nights in bars and clubs in the town, approached the pool table and shouted: “Who punched my brother?”

In a totally unprovoked attack, Godfree then punched Jason Matthews.

They are said to work as bouncers. Nothing like taking your work home with you, is there?

The court heard Bowers has three convictions for four offences - mostly for violent and public order offences.

Godfree has eight convictions for ten offences, including an actual bodily harm charge from 2009.

Nice people. Just the sort you'd hire to prevent trouble, right?

Nick Jones, mitigating, said both men regretted the incident and admitted their guilt at the earliest opportunity.

Well, with all the CCTV, it's not like they could really do much else, is it?

Judge Ian Graham said the brawl was a “substantial incident of disorder in a public house.” Each man received a nine month prison sentence, suspended for 12 months. Godfree was ordered to complete 150 hours of unpaid work and Bowers 120 hours.

*sigh*

"You never had control, that's the illusion!"

Police are investigating an incident where a dog was attacked and killed by another dog in a south Bristol park while the owners looked on in horror.

Officers are asking for help to identify a man on a mobility scooter believed to be the owner of the violent animal.

Just the sort of person who should own a powerful and dangerous animal!

The man on a mobility scooter is believed to be the owner of two dogs - including the dangerous dog - who were both being allowed to roam freely without a lead.

After the attack, the man refused to give his details to the couple and drove away through the park, leaving through the exit to Headley Lane and Hartcliffe Way and turning left into Novers Lane.

The man is described as white, in his 50s or 60s, around 5"8, heavily built with receding lightly coloured hair.

He was wearing grey jogging bottoms and a dirty looking hat and his mobility scooter had a light and a weatherproof hood.

It is believed the man had been drinking.

Shouldn't be hard to identify. And clearly, even he realised this...

The owner of a large American bulldog which killed a poodle in a Bristol park has come forward, after the police appealed for information about the incident.

Officers said a man voluntarily presented himself to a police station after the Bristol Post revealed how the dog’s owner fled on a mobility scooter after the attack on Saturday night.

Aha, the American bulldog, rapidly taking over from the Staffie-cross as the weapon of choice.

But what the hell is it with people who can't walk getting a pet that needs regular exercise?

QC Patricia Lynch sentenced Blackwell, who drives a mobility scooter, to a six month suspended sentence, a 30-day rehabilitation requirement to assist with her welfare and made an order for compensation.

Her welfare shouldn't be the bloody concern here!

Patricia Lynch said: "This was shocking and thoroughly disgraceful behaviour.

"The dogs should not have been off the lead and it was irresponsible to take them off the lead.

"I will make it perfectly clear I was very firmly of the view that you were not a fit and proper person to look after dogs."

Make whatever you like clear, but it doesn't seem to work that way?

Blackwell will maintain the custody of JD.

/facepalm

Literal House Arrest!

Paul Dickenson, 26,used threatening racially motivated language towards Brett Gordon, and Nathaniel Yon, and Adam Poon between January and May.

He also assaulted and harassed two police officers.

Dickenson, of Baffins Lane, Chichester, admitted 14 offences at Worthing Magistrates' Court on July 3 including being drunk and disorderly, possession of cannabis and breaching previous court orders.

Yet the racial abuse attracts a higher tariff, obviously. Not spent in prison, mind you:

Magistrates sentenced Dickenson to a 20 month suspended prison sentence, and issued him a curfew until October 2 banning him from leaving his property at night.

One wonders why the judge felt the need to inflict punishment on his neighbours....

Magistrates said they had been particularly concerned by his "pattern of racially motivated offending over a five month period".

The cannabis taking and the ignoring of court orders are a mere bagatelle, but heavens to Betsy, we can't have racism!

Wait A Minute, Who Wouldn't Film This..?!?

...because it'd be quite a feat, given how unstable they are and the pilot would really have to be on the ball to avoid...

Wait.

Oh.

I Think We're Gonna Need A Bigger Plate...

...because 480 kids won't fit around a plate that size. Maybe they could do it in shifts...?

What?

Oh.

H/T: @Galakitty via YTwitte

Sunday Funnies...

Surely being ultra-rich is the only perk you really need?

They Don't Always Help Themselves, Do They?

Totally understandable and anyone would....

Wait.

Brighton and Hove's top cop said it was “horrendous” for the family but the fact that Sussex Police gave such a substantial response over a prolonged length of time was testament to how seriously they took tackling hate crime.

Hang on! 'Hate crime'? Say, isn't there something a little bit off about that headline?

Ah.

Mrs Bell said the investigations were plagued by evidential difficulties including accounts from members of the Deghayes family differing “from time to time” and the encouragement by father Abubaker to his children to exaggerate incidents.

Then what the hell do you think you need to apologise for?

The Brighton and Hove city commander said the question of how the teens were radicalised remained the most frustrating aspect of the investigation. She said the force understood the role social media played in brainwashing young people and said it was vital the authorities got to grips with the issue.

She said the force was “very proactive” in not criminalising young people but added it was important for the force to learn that “some criminal, risky behaviour” are indicators of early trauma or vulnerabilities.

This is a cop speaking, right? Not some wishy-washy social work graduate?

Oh, wait. I forgot. That's the sort of cop who makes it to the top these days, isn't it?

Pinaki Ghoshal, director for families, children and learning, said a decision to remove the five Deghayes children from a protection plan in 2012 was not about resources but because of a lack of understanding of adolescent neglect where they were viewed as “perpetrators of violence” and not as victims.

The cops & the social workers seem interchangeable, don't they? So why are we paying twice for the same service?

Councillor Fails To Recognize The Local Problem...

...it's people like her:

After having a great time at the Afropunk London festival last weekend, I followed my usual ritual before going to bed on Saturday night: checking to see what I had missed on Instagram during the day.

I came across the clip of CCTV footage that appeared to show a Metropolitan police officer attempting to restrain 20-year-old Rashan Charles from east London, who shortly afterwards took his last breath. I was stunned and confused. I closed the app with a heavy heart and said a prayer for Rashan and his family.

Not for the police officers or the shopkeepers who'd soon be fending off the mob of usual suspects?

When I saw the statement from the Independent Police Complaints Commission (IPCC) the next morning, reporting that it had “obtained evidence which indicates an object was removed from [Rashan’s] throat at the scene”, I instantly thought of Edson Da Costa.

Just four weeks ago, 25-year-old Edson, also from east London, died after contact with the police. The IPPC also said that “the pathologist removed a number of packages from Mr Da Costa’s throat”.

Did you start to see a pattern?

I am a local councillor in Newham and the deaths of two young black men in east London in a matter of weeks is a cause for concern, to put it mildly.

Because it's not enough? So many drug dealers, so little time...

Whatever the packages or objects that were removed from Rashan’s and Edson’s throats were, is there is a safe way to do this? Is there a protocol? Is there a different protocol at an airport if someone is suspected of smuggling something? Does and should the same protocol apply to officers on the beat?

No. Yes. No. No. There. Cleared that up.

Were the circumstances the same as those of Edson’s death? If so, have the Met been recently given sufficient training and guidance to properly and safely assess the danger a person is in and be able to remove objects from someone’s throat?

Who cares?

If these cases were drugs-related, is this symptomatic of a wider drugs problem in east London? If so, why are drugs still a problem in 2017? Since 2010 we’ve seen central government cuts to local authorities’ budgets on an unprecedented scale, year after year. This has resulted in cuts to non-statutory services such as youth and drug prevention services.

You could flood the council coffers with gold from the Treasury, and people would still take drugs!

Part of the anger following this death, expressed by some at a vigil on Monday, is the suspicion that excessive force was used because of the colour of his skin. We know that black men are more likely to be treated harshly by the criminal justice system, at the stages of arrest, charging, prosecution and imprisonment. Would witness statements and accounts from arrests of non-black people in similar circumstances mirror how we saw Rashan being treated in the video?

Yes. Because the police would be duty bound to try to stop anyone swallowing evidence, be they black, white, brown or yellow.

These questions are by no means accusations.

No. No, of course they aren't.

There is still a lot more the police need to do to rebuild trust with community groups, beginning by being more representative of the society they represent.

So we should recruit police from the drug-dealing, resisting arrest community?

This is why, instead of being able to quietly mourn the death of yet another young man from our community and paying respect to his family, many are angry and suspicious of the police.

No, they are angry at the police because they are low-information morons who've been taught to believe that the world owes them a living 'cos they is black.

Taught that by idiots like you, who see a situation like this not as an opportunity to educate your voters about the dangers of illegal activities, but as a way of advancing your own career:

Seyi Akiwowo has been a Labour councillor in Newham, east London, since 2014. She is a fellow at the Royal Society and also writes and speaks on diversity in politics, and social and economic inclusion, as well as methods to improve civic and political participation of underrepresented groups

You know what would 'improve civic participation'  in your neck of the woods, Seyi? It'd be when the voters wise up and stop electing people like you.

A Note For Commenters...

Please don't ask me if I know who a commenter 'really is'.

Because even if I was inclined to share that information, Blogger's software options don't work that way, I don't see those sort of details. Other blogs on different platforms may provide that level of detail, but this one doesn't.

So everyone is welcome to comment, subject to the whims of the owner (me!), but you will necessarily all remain anonymous, unless you choose otherwise.

Disabled, Or Arrogant?

The 35-year-old ex-RAF officer was a sergeant and sometimes acting inspector for Merseyside Police at the time, Manchester Crown Court heard.

He made 20 false reports to Crimestoppers, between July 2014 and May, 2015, anonymously reporting that his target, a father-of-two, was dealing heroin and cocaine and made 15 further false allegations to the National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NSPCC).

Some of the reports were made online while he sat at his computer in Tuebrook police station in Liverpool, the court heard.

/facepalm

...Hughes, who has dyslexia, was caught after forging documents purporting to be from his Chief Superintendent and Superintendent, to be used in court - and spelled their ranks wrongly.

YCMIU...

John Parry-Jones, mitigating, said the defendant was suffering from an undiagnosed borderline personality disorder, which predisposed him to engage in impulsive and risky behaviour.

Then why the hell was he taken on by the local farce?! Did he tick someone's disability box?

Detective Chief Superintendent Karen Cummings said: 'Merseyside Police demands the highest possible standards from its officers and staff. '

Clearly, that's not true.

Brave Enough In A Gang, Though...

The defendant, from Harlow, sat next to his father at the back of the court and was not in the dock.

The barristers and Judge Patricia Lynch QC removed their wigs for the hearing due to the vulnerability and age of the defendant and witnesses.

Not so 'vulnerable' that he can't assault a grown man. With seven of this thuggish friends to back him up. From behind, of course.

Maybe It's Not The Road That's Dangerous....

...rather, it's the actions of the pedestrians?

People living near to the A259 Brighton Road in Shoreham are calling for a safer crossing to be installed on the busy road.

It comes after a 15-year-old Spanish language student was hit by a lorry on the road between the and the High Street.

We already know that it doesn't matter where you put a crossing. You could put one every 100 yards and if people felt like it, they'd cross between two of them just to save a 45 yard walk...

Joanne Parsons, 55, of Ormonde Way, who started the petition, said: “The response to the petition has been really good.

“Another foreign student got hit at the same place before.

“The traffic island is narrow, if you’re in a group or taking your dog to Adur Recreation Ground it is very dangerous.”

Visibility looks pretty good to me. 

No, You're Not Doing 'The Police's Job'...

Mr Green’s warning comes days after a community safety meeting in Islington where Michelle McPhillips, mother of murdered 28-year-old Jonathan McPhillips, called for greater police efforts to halt a recent spate of knife crime in the capital.

What more can they do?

“People are actually doing ‘safe stabbings’ – using a knife in a way they know won’t kill,” she was quoted in the Islington Gazette as saying.

That's because they're thick. There's no such thing.

She said: “A lot of people in this borough don’t know about the murder of my son.

Well, yes, because they're thick too.

“I am handing out leaflets myself, doing the police’s job. You understand? There’s no support for us out there. It’s like we are doing all the work ourselves.

It's not the job of the police, you moron! Good grief, is everyone thick in Islington?

“I am approaching young people on the Marquess Estate, a hotspot where a couple of months ago there were three stabbings in the space of 24 hours.”

Keep approaching them, there'll soon be another!

Arrest The Survivor, Sort It Out Later...

Bobby Munroe died after the horror smash close to the junction with Hobleythick Lane, Westcliff, in December last year.

A 35-year-old man, from Shoebury, was arrested on suspicion of causing death by careless driving and driving while unfit through drink or drugs, but he has now been released from bail.

Eh..?

The dad-of-one’s heartbroken sister Vickie, 34, said the decision was hard to deal with but has brought a part of the tragedy to an end.

She said: “Whatever the decision, it was never going to bring Bobby back.

“We are grateful that the driver wasn’t some idiot on drink or drugs who was off his face- that would have been really hard to take.

“The only thing that we can take from it is that it was just a tragic accident. Neither one of them was at fault, it’s something that happens every single day.

“It’s very unfortunate but I’m personally glad Bobby didn’t die because of someone’s stupid actions.”

Wait, surely he did? If not the driver, then his own?

An inquest into Mr Munroe’s death was opened in December and established that he died at the scene from multiple injuries. It will now be concluded later this year.

An Essex Police spokesman said: “A 35-year-old man from Shoebury arrested on suspicion of causing death by careless driving and driving whilst unfit through drink or drugs has been released without further action.”

But surely he failed a breath test/drug wipe? Otherwise why arrest him at all?

Too Little, Too Late, As Always...

Witnesses described the attack on July 2 outside the May Garland Inn in Horam as “terrifying,” as the landlord’s boxer-cross hurled itself against the window of a van, barking and growling, before haring across the car park and into the road to savage the terrier.

The dog, which has also now been put down, had attacked two other pets in the previous month.

You'd think that might have clued in the owner, but you'd have been wrong.

Pub landlord Asher Burman told The Argus he had not been made aware of his pet’s aggression when he retrieved her from a rescue shelter two months ago.

The two attacks subsequent to that weren't enough?

He said: “I tried to save that dog, and in trying to save the dog someone else’s dog died. It’s tragic and upsetting.”

He said that he had “not considered” having the dog put down after the first and second attacks, but had taken her to specialist training which had begun to moderate her behaviour.

Yeah. We can see how well it worked.

He said the dog had been put down last Tuesday, adding: “I had to, in the interests of everyone in my street.”

In case the others 'in your street' decided to show their displeasure by deciding to drink elsewhere?

Lawlessness....

The three suspects sprang from behind a bush in Dagenham and pulled a knife on the teenagers, with one them telling their victims: “We can do this the easy way or the hard way.”

The thieves – one of whom had gold teeth – then made off with two bikes, the bag and £40 in cash.

The mum of one of the victims, who has asked to remain anonymous, said the robbery at about 7.50pm on Monday, July 24, had traumatised her son. 

Hmmm, I wonder what sort of muggers we are talking about here?

The suspects, who are described as black males aged 18 to 19, fled the crime scene, with one heading toward Fourth Avenue and the other two heading for Romford.

Ah. Say no more.

When the boys returned home, their parents were quick to appeal for information on Facebook, which led to one user claiming to have seen the suspects with the stolen bikes in Shafter Road, Dagenham.

The victims’ dads jumped into a car in the hope of reclaiming the stolen items. But when they confronted the thieves they were immediately surrounded by about 20 other males and left with no option but to get in the car and drive home.

Did anyone call the police? Or did they (probably correctly) figure there was little point?

The mum who told the Post about the robbery said she’d been dreading something like this happening since he entered his early teens.

“It’s sad but they’re at that age now where we expect it,” she said.

“I knew something would happen eventually – this is craziness.”

No-one should 'expect' this!

Nobody was injured in the robbery and no arrests have been made. Witnesses can call police on 101, contact them on Twitter at @MetCC or call Crimestoppers anonymously on 0800 555 111.

Why bother? It's not like they are any use and some of them seem to be worse than muggers themselves...

The Council Doesn't Like Being Undercut...

Furious residents and councillors became suspicious after a huge pile of waste started to build up after two groups of travellers set up camp in Rushley Park, Basildon.

The pile was so large it appeared to be impossible for the group of 12 travellers to have left it by themselves. Then the dumping scheme emerged.

Which it never would have, had they not been undercutting the official council tip!

Basildon Council paid £500 for security guards to stand at the entrance last Thursday and they were stunned to hear people were bringing their rubbish to the site to dump it.

They told them the travellers were charging other travellers to dump their waste there.

/facepalm

...previously travellers had left 100 tonnes of rubbish near to St Nicholas Church in Laindon. The cost of the clean-up reached about £6,000 and so the £500 sum was a small price to pay in comparison.

Maybe if you embarked on a course of action, such as landing the travellers with the bill rather than the poor bloody taxpayer, you wouldn't need to..?

Perhaps She Misunderstood The Term 'Called To The Bar'..?

Emily Summers lashed out at the sister of the bride in the smoking area of East Coast Social, in London Road, Southend, after an earlier row on the night of March 18.

Southend Magistrates’ Court heard the victim had to use Photoshop to edit the embarrassing wedding snaps and has since forked out £280 for laser treatment.

Lovely!

Simon Samuels, mitigating, said the mother-of-two had no previous convictions, had contacted the police herself after initially fleeing the scene and admitted assault by beating.

He said Summers was in the second year of an Open University law degree and the offence was driven by a growing problem with alcohol.

What does she plan to specialise in, personal injury cases?

He said: “This is a case of a young woman taking on too much, too young. She married at the age of 19 and within two years she was a mother-of-two.

“She had a few hours of freedom where the children would be looked after by someone else. Quite simply, she drank far too much alcohol.”

But don't worry, the courts will be lenient...

Summers was told to pay £750 in compensation and carry out 200 hours of unpaid work.

Not, one hopes, giving out legal advice.

Transgressions...

I've always wondered what it took to get you a Twitter 'soft ban', and now I know:

I'd always thought it took swearing, or persistent harassment, or libel, or breaching a court order. Turns out it's none of those things. 

It's upsetting a SJW with the truth about Rashan Charles, the idiot who choked on what turned out to be fake drugs.

But when you have a blog as well as a Twitter account, there's no silencing you...

Looks Like Land Rover Has A New Model Out....

...well, that, or the Essex Police Facebook monkey can't spell 'Evoque', and which is more likely?

'Morrisons' Has A Strange Idea....

...about what their customers might want to put in their mouths....

Ooooh, matron!

Sunday Funnies...

I can't believe these haven't all featured in movies...

Oh, 'Guardian', Everyone Grows Up Sometime....

...even Morrisey:

Thirty years after the Smiths broke up, the 58-year-old’s reputation is in dire shape, and not for musical reasons. His albums are still well received and he remains a passionate live performer with enough diehard fans to fill stadiums. No, the problem is what he says.

*gasps* You mean, he's started to have opinions you don't agree with? Under the bus with him!

Ten years ago Morrissey was quoted in the NME as complaining about immigration: “Although I don’t have anything against people from other countries, the higher the influx into England the more the British identity disappears.”

So, something a lot of people outside the 'Guardian' offices would agree with?

He sued the magazine for defamation (“I abhor racism and oppression or cruelty of any kind”) and donated £28,000 to Love Music Hate Racism, but the case was settled and the quotes were never retracted. In 2010 he called the Chinese “a subspecies” due to their mistreatment of animals. In 2013 he said he nearly voted for Ukip and liked Nigel Farage “a great deal”. He has described Brexit to an Australian website as “magnificent”.

Fetch the sal volatile, quick!

Such comments have exhausted the patience of many longtime devotees with progressive political views.

I'm surprised to hear that, not least because 'patience' and 'progressive political views' aren't known to go together...

On the Etsy website you can buy a tote bag bearing the words: “Shut up, Morrissey!”

Well, of course you can. Because the answer to speech you don'y like is... errr....

“Now I find that he’s a sledgehammer provocateur who seems to have much in common with ‘paid to write spite’ columnists,” says the comedian, broadcaster and disillusioned fan Robin Ince.

“I was drawn to him because he was writing about humanity when I was young and trying to work out how to be a human. Now his view of humanity makes him a hard listen. The disappointment is my own fault. We elevate when we are young and then ignore the warning signs for years.”

Some might say you elevate when you are young and then you grow up and realise the old fogeys have a point. Unless, of course, you don't grow up.

A Vignette Of London Commuting Life...

A proposed ban on smelly food on New York’s subway has sparked calls among London’s commuters for similar action on the Underground.

Well, of course it has! Let's hear from a British cliche, shall we?

Geoff Marshall, a transport expert who twice broke the record for travelling to all Tube stations in the least time, said: “Hot food is a mega no-no. Don’t ever get on the Tube with hot food. It’s smelly and it makes a mess.

“I’ve had someone eat a burrito before opposite of me, chatting to a friend completely unaware of the mess he was making. And everytime a bit of his food dropped onto my foot I raised my leg and flicked it off. After about the tenth time, he finally noticed.”

Ten times? Try that on a US subway, you'd probably get shot after the second time!

Douglas McHugh, 44, hotel manager at St Ermin’s hotel in Westminster, said: “I would really appreciate if people didn’t eat hot food on the Tube.

“It’s the smell that gets to you. It shouldn’t be forced on anyone else. It’s the same in an office - you know, if you are trapped in an small, enclosed space it’s just horrible. I take a hard-line approach and I wouldn’t dream of doing it myself.”

Fine. But what makes you think that you get to dictate to others?

Harriet Orrell, 26, a journalist from Finchley added: “I definitely think there’s a line of social decency when it comes to eating stinky food on the tube.

“It can be really disrespectful. But that could be hot or cold so is there any point in a ban on just hot food?”

There's precious little that smells when it isn't hot, is there? Oh, apparently so!

Teacher Katie Stacey, 26, from Brixton, said: “I wonder if they do bring in a ban, how much it will actually change? Drinking alcohol is banned and lots of people still do it regularly.

“Personally I think the stink of that a cold tuna sandwich is worse than any hot food smell.”

Blimey, they should be employing Katie as a sniffer dog, not a teacher, if she's that sensitive...

But she does raise a good point. Without enforcement, any ban is doomed to fail. And more than a few are capable of seeing the potential downside:

Caroline Christie, 28, a writer from Stoke Newington, said: “It’s a good idea to limit smelly food on the Tube because it can be gross.

“The only trouble is I really don’t want to get a fine if I get caught with a cheeky kebab on the night tube home.”

Heh!

Dylan Rubens, 27, a teacher from Wood Green, added: “I’m not a big fan of eating hot food on the tube at all but sometimes it’s the only chance us busy Londoners get to eat.

“Instead of enjoying the meal I spend my time worrying about other people’s discerning looks - does my food smell too much? Do I eat like a monster?

“I end up waiting for a time when no one is looking to cram my food down quick. It’s no fun at all.”

Maybe someone should just ban commuters instead?

Why Indeed...?

One resident living close to the land, who asked not to be named, said: “I look out my window and I can see their children running around near the roads.

“Some look so young.

“The kids are loud and by the looks of it they are also leaving rubbish behind and dumping rubbish.”

A neighbour added: “I don’t understand - if people come to the seafront for car meets it’s all dealt with and stopped but this happens and nothing can be done.

“It baffles me how the law works.”

Travellers previously pitched up on the site last week, staying there for five days before moving on. It is not known if this is the same group.

One seafront visitor, who asked to remain anonymous, said: “If we parked illegally we would be clamped then towed.

“Why has this not happened to them?”

Well, anon, how long have you got?

She Was 83....

...so she really ought to have known the Green Cross Code:

Hugh Hunter, a resident of nearby Spencers Court said: “As the schools were leaving, the woman went to cross the road as thought the car was driving away.”

He feel that the safety of the elderly woman and children as they leave for school would be much greater if there was a larger police presence in and around Irvon Hill Road.

Wha..?

Mr Hunter said: “This would never have happened if we did have the police there. If the council decided to place a sign outside, no one would listen. We need more police or Community Support Officers in the area to check for the children and keep them safe.”

Oh, good lord! What are they supposed to do, help you all to cross the road?

Mr Hunter says that roads have been blocked by parents parking their cars before running in to pick up their children and even arguments have broken out over the business of the street.

He continued: “If someone would be there to monitor what is going on outside the school, it will keep the children and people like this woman safe.”

How did we ever get to the point of being so dependent on the state that we can't even cross the road without a state-appointed guardian?

I Think They Are Beyond Education, Frankly....

A victim of violent crime has helped set up a crowdfunding campaign to create a permanent tribute to knife crime victims in London.

Abdulrahman Musa-Johnson has joined other Southwark residents who are hoping to construct the Southwark Peace Garden, which they describe as a ‘bold, symbolic statement of the community’s commitment to action.’

Well, plays & candles have been tried with no effect, so why not?

...Mr Musa-Johnson describes how, after being set upon in an alleyway, he discovered his attackers were neighbours and decided something needed to be done to educate the young people in the area.

Educate them to do what, not shit on their own doorstep? Good luck with that...

Darwin Takes No Prisoners

Terry Hammond, 43, of Boscawen Gardens, Braintree was riding his black Yamaha motorbike in Church Road, Witham, on February 20 when he was overtaken by a white van. The van cut in sharply in front of the motorbike causing Hammond to brake to avoid a crash.

Hammond caught up to the van and rode on the other side of the road on a blind bend to talk to the van driver through the window.

A white Mercedes van was travelling in the other direction and collided with Hammond head on.

Hammond was filming the footage on his GoPro camera at the time so the whole incident was recorded. He was flown to Addenbrookes Hospital in Cambridge by air ambulance and suffered life-changing injuries.

All entirely due to his own stupidity...

Hammond originally pleaded not guilty at Colchester Magistrates’ Court and was given a date of Wednesday, July 5 to appear at Chelmsford Crown Court where he changed his plea to guilty.

Probably because his lawyer pointed out he'd filmed the entire thing!

He was given a three month community order with a residence condition for three months, disqualified from driving for 12 months with an extended retest to be taken and ordered to pay costs of £50.

Is that all? Did the courts just decide that sooner or later, he'll be writing his own death sentence?

Just When I Thought I Couldn't Admire Her More....

Margaret Thatcher intervened to overrule the home secretary and ensure that the Moors murderers, Myra Hindley and Ian Brady, were never released from prison, Downing Street papers have revealed.

Thatcher told Leon Brittan in February 1985 that his proposed minimum sentences of 30 years for Hindley and 40 years for Brady were too short.

“I do not think that either of these prisoners should ever be released from custody. Their crime was the most hideous and cruel in modern times,” she wrote on Brittan’s proposal.

...this comes along.