Saturday 9 July 2011

Warning! Here Be Chimeras!

A big cat was spotted prowling around an East Lancashire housing estate on a summer afternoon, it has been revealed.
Oh, here we go again…
The sighting of the four foot long creature, described as a cross between a tiger, cheetah and leopard…
Wha..?
The caller told officers the animal, which had a long tail and ‘tiger spots’, had been running down back streets on the Brunshaw estate in Burnley.
Tiger spots? Are they like ‘Dalmatian stripes’…?
Suspecting it was a Bengal cat or ocelot, police contacted the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (DEFRA) to find out if any were licensed in the area.
You don’t need a license for a domestic Bengal, unless it’s a first cross that you are breeding from…
The details were revealed to the Lancashire Telegraph under the Freedom of Information Act.

However, the list does not include reports of lions or jaguars because searches under those words on police systems brought up a lot of unrelated information.
OK, well, I can understand the ‘jaguar’ bit, because presumably it called up all references to the car, but ‘lion’..?
at

13 comments:

  1. Anonymous9 July 2011 at 10:51

    Lithium Ion Batteries called lion?

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  2. Mrs Erdleigh9 July 2011 at 11:07

    Tiger spots? Hmm, things are different up north.

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  3. Angry Exile9 July 2011 at 11:44

    You don’t need a license for a domestic Bengal...

    Speaking as someone who drops over $100 on registering two cats and a mutt every autumn I'd suggest the missing word is 'yet'. ;-)

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  4. Captain Haddock9 July 2011 at 12:00

    ‘tiger spots’

    One has to make certain allowances for the fact that its Lancashire .. ;)

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  5. Tattyfalarr9 July 2011 at 12:24

    Julia - Sorry for the O/T here but I saw this and thought of you:

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2012838/Gypsies-slam-Kent-council-1m-site-upgrade-We-dont-want-travellers-here.html

    I'll save any further comment for if/when you dissect it in your own inimitable way ;)

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  6. Woman on a Raft9 July 2011 at 13:50

    The unrelated reports refer to all the times the police lion tamer gets called out to deal with the dangerous dogs.

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  7. Zaphod9 July 2011 at 14:25

    These sporadic and elusive big cats, they arrive in flying saucers.

    They tease a few people, then fly away again, with the traditional intermittent invisibilty screen on.

    This explains two mysteries for the price of one.

    Oh, they also steal odd socks.

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  8. Zaphod9 July 2011 at 14:26

    This comment has been removed by the author.

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  9. Anonymous9 July 2011 at 16:52

    Why were 60 firearms officers and the lion expert not dispatched to this one? Too bust with dogs again?

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  10. Chuckles10 July 2011 at 10:25

    but ‘lion’..?

    Mark my words, the Rotarians will be next.

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  11. The King of Wrong10 July 2011 at 16:13

    All those reports saying "but I fink eez a lion bastud"?

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  12. JuliaM11 July 2011 at 05:33

    "Sorry for the O/T here but I saw this and thought of you..."

    Ahhh, yes. Would have written it up yesterday, but a summer cold laid me low :(

    "The unrelated reports refer to all the times the police lion tamer gets called out to deal with the dangerous dogs."

    Heh!

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  13. patently11 July 2011 at 13:19

    The unrelated reports refer to all the times the police lion tamer gets called out to deal with the dangerous dogs.

    Plus all the times that a highly trained and educated police officer can't spell "lying"?

    ReplyDelete