Thursday 14 January 2016

Performing The Drunken Toyshop Kidnap Rampages...

...that our home-grown criminals just don't want to do:
A “career criminal” who went on an ecstasy-fuelled naked rampage through a toy store, abducting a six-year-old boy and battering the child’s grandmother with a cricket bat, is facing a lengthy jail term.
Przemyslaw Kaluzny was previously a member of a Polish criminal gang that stole vehicles to order before moving to Scotland a year before his crazed attack, a court heard.
Wonderful!
His frenzied Easter Sunday rampage was captured in a CCTV video, which was shown to the court yesterday.
The court heard that Kaluzny took class A ecstasy that he found in a Kinder Egg on the street before entering the store.
I see he's assimilated enough to come up with a bonkers defence...
He first stripped off as he walked through the store before picking up a terrified six-year-old boy who was on an Easter day out with his father and grandmother.
Footage played in court showed shoppers walking past as Kaluzny strolled through the store completely naked.
He then grabbed the boy and dragged him along the ground as he was chased by shoppers and staff.
One worker repeatedly rammed Kaluzny with a trolley before the boy’s grandmother, who cannot be named to protect the boy’s identity, hit him with her handbag.
Staff and shoppers then dived on top of Kaluzny as he tried to struggle free.
I'm only surprised that the Scottish police didn't turn up & nick them...
Sheriff Lorna Drummond QC deferred sentence.
It better include deportation, and not to just across the border.

3 comments:

  1. Deportation to Gruinard, perhaps?

    Without the opportunity to get dressed since he clearly doesn't think clothing a necessity.

    ReplyDelete
  2. He's on his way south, no doubt.

    ReplyDelete
  3. "He's on his way south, no doubt."

    Great! As if we don't already have enough!

    ReplyDelete