Because They Just Don't Have Enough To Do Already....

It seems teachers are to be tasked with yet another area of responsibility - spotting if little Johnny is hungover, as opposed to just lazy or suffering from migraine:

Teachers will be told to look out for pupils with hangovers and refer repeat offenders to addiction clinics or counsellors under plans to be unveiled on Monday.

And if they don't go...? Lines or detention, probably!

Understandably, they aren't happy about this:

Martin Ward, deputy general secretary of the Association of School and College Leaders, said teachers already knew how to spot binge-drinking teenagers.

"What may be more problematic is what they expect teachers to do," he told the Daily Mail. "While teachers give advice to young people already, they wouldn't want it turning into another duty and another set of bureaucracies."

Tough luck, Mr Ward. That's all this increasingly clueless government knows how to create..