'Sign Her Up, She's Perfect...!'

Police have taken the unusual step of releasing a picture of a missing mother of five who has fled with her children because she found out they were to be taken into care:

Police said they are concerned for the safety of the girls, aged between five and 13, because Ms Bracht suffers from a 'histrionic personality disorder'.

According to the 'Northumberland Gazette', 'histrionic personality disorder' is characterised by:

"....the constant seeking of reassurance or approval, excessive dramatics with exaggerated displays of emotion, excessive sensitivity to criticism or disapproval, a need to be the centre of attention, rapidly shifting emotional states and a tendency to make rash decisions."

There's no truth to the rumour that if she's found, Gordon Brown would like to sign her up to fight the by-election against David Davies for Labour...