I Have The Perfect Solution To This Problem….

….replace poor Oink with a Cape buffalo one night. That should kill two birds with one stone:

Hi-tech help has been offered to the owner of a water buffalo at the centre of a series of attacks.

The buffalo, called Oink, weighs more than a tonne and has been the victim of harassment and injury on land in Darley Abbey village in Derbyshire.

Stones and bricks have been thrown at him, hay set on fire and washing up liquid put in his water.

Local resident Steve Lakin has donated a CCTV system to keep an eye on Oink and deter any other attacks.

Mr Lakin installed the cameras and some lights and hopes it will offer the animal some peace.

It’d be better than waiting for the police to help:

Derbyshire police said they were aware of the problems but could not be in the area all the time.

No doubt should one of the little wastes of oxygen get trampled to death one night, they’ll be round quick enough… to prosecute the owner for keeping a ‘dangerous’ animal.