What, that? That’s not a knife…

No, really, that’s not a knife:

A kitchen knife that cannot be used as a weapon is due to go on sale later this year.

And it's not entirely pointless.

Instead the knife has a rounded edge directly above the sharp point, meaning it can be used for cooking purposes - but not stabbing.

Really? It can’t…?

The blunt 'upper protusion' acts as a guard for the sharp point.

An inner curve then causes clothes and skin to snag, 'further slowing the progress of the blade'.

Now, two things occurred to me on reading this:

a) Surely you either sharpen up the blunt point, or simply use extra force – I mean, straw isn’t sharp, and a tornado can put a piece of straw through a tree trunk, and

b) It doesn’t stop you slitting someone’s throat with the blade, does it?

Mr Cornock, 42, from Swindon, said: 'The idea began as a means of crime prevention, but is also something that promotes safety in the home.

'It is not going to fall off a kitchen surface and stab you in the foot.'

Well, if you take care never to balance your dangerously-sharp kitchen utensils on the edge of the kitchen counter, I’ve found that works pretty well too….

'It can never be a totally safe knife, but the idea is you can't inflict a fatal wound,' said Mr Cornock.

'Nobody could just grab one out of the kitchen drawer and kill someone.

So, they’ll just grab another knife instead, surely?

But it seems that Mr Cornock has the bit between his teeth in his quest to idiot-proof life:

'The common kitchen knife has remained unchanged for centuries, so now we're hoping to introduce a more considered and intelligent design for the modern home.'

Now, if something’s remained unchanged for centuries, perhaps there’s a reason for that…