A woman martial arts expert knocked out a Coldstream Guardsman and attacked another squaddie's wife at an Army Christmas ball in a row over soldiers pretending to be gay.Good job they weren’t attending a traditional British panto, then, or who knows what might have happened when Xena, Warrior Princess, caught sight of Widow Twankey…
Ashley Wolfe, who is 5ft 3ins and was wearing a floor-length red satin dress, assaulted Lance Sergeant Michael Fallows at a party for Sergeants, officers and their wives at Woolwich Barracks in south east London.I guess there’s no height restriction for Coldstream Guards any more.
Or perhaps she stood on a chair…
Wolfe was attending the party with her husband and fellow self-defence expert, William.‘Fellow self-defence expert..’
He’d pretty much have to be, wouldn’t he?
Beware, chaps. She’s still on the loose:
Woolwich magistrates yesterday issued an international arrest warrant for Wolfe, who failed to appear at the hearing.
"I guess there’s no height restriction for Coldstream Guards any more"
ReplyDeleteBut she wasn't in the CG!
She wasn't, but the chap she punched was. So, how could she reach..?
ReplyDelete;)
"She grabbed Sgt Holland by his tie and pulled him to the floor, according to an eye-witness."
ReplyDeleteMore decorous than pulling another of his dangly-bits.
She beat up a Coldstream Guard and he complained?
ReplyDeleteThere was a time when no man, military or not, would ever have admitted it. Not so long ago either.
Beaten up by a 5'3" woman... no, you have to wake up thinking 'that didn't happen' or you are just not Army material in my book.
My first ever girlfriend is now in the Military Police. I went out with her because a) she was pretty and b) she told me to.
That's my story. Reality might switch 'a' and 'b' around.
I'm not Army material myself. I failed 'marching' even before I failed 'obeying orders'.
"Beaten up by a 5'3" woman... no, you have to wake up thinking 'that didn't happen' or you are just not Army material in my book."
ReplyDeleteORLY?
Anyone can beat anyone up, provided they pick their moment and target. People are a lot more fragile than you think!
Besides that, the dude was in partying mode, not fighting mode, which is a good thing, you really really really don't want a drunk soldier in fighting mode...
...btw, what's the bet that you'd be livid had he clocked her? ... ;-P
(you fool, that woman is a martial arts expert. She'll be well dangerous to most people (including other MA folks) into ripe old age, even if she is tiny and female... it's not only size, but also what you know!)
Define "fight".
ReplyDeleteGrab tie, pull head down and smash it with a bottle.
That could be a fight, but I'd describe it more as an ambush.
Anyone can loose if ambushed.