/headdesk

But last night the Government denied the charge that the ban had been put in place to ensure Muslims were not offended.

They said it was because they would be insensitive for criminals to have to pay fines in a room surrounded by tinsel.

You can just imagine some cluerless NuLab drone looking at the comments this is going to get and saying to himself in baffled exasperation: "Just what do these people want, then..?"

And it seems there's a sweepstake running in government for 'Most Barkingly Insane Official Quote'. If so, I think this chap will walk it:

Last night a source at the Ministry of Justice admitted that tinsel had been banned at the front-office counter at the Nuneaton office.

'Over the counter, yes, where sensitive business like fine payments takes place,' he said. 'For that reason. Otherwise there is tinsel and stuff elsewhere.

'Nothing was removed for religious or diversity reasons.

'One piece of tinsel was removed from a counter where it was getting in the way. The rest of the tinsel remains there as festive as ever.'

And he claimed: 'I have it on good authority that the court is one of the most festive places one could go, perhaps outside Lapland.'

*boggle*