Here’s Some ‘Plain English’ For You…

…stop acting like a crazy, attention-seeking old harridan:

The English professor asked for a toasted multi-grain bagel but became angry when a staff member asked her: ‘Do you want butter or cheese?’

Wow, she must have the shortest fuse in the world! She also hasn’t learned that it’s not wise to insult or harangue the people serving you food and drink…

Prof Rosenthal, that stuff on the top of your next coffee? Might not be froth, you know…

Prof Rosenthal, who also declines to use Starbucks terms such as ‘grande’ for a medium drink, said: ‘I just wanted a multi-grain bagel. I refused to say “without butter or cheese”. ‘

How do you expect the poor sod serving you to know, then? Do Starbucks have to hire telepaths?

‘When you go to Burger King, you don’t have to list the six things you don’t want. ‘

If I don’t want cheese, or pickles, I do have to tell them that, since that’s how the burger comes…

‘Linguistically, it’s stupid and I’m a stickler for correct English.’

No, you’re an attention-seeking old cow who likes to grandstand in restaurants while everyone slowly backs away, trying not to make eye contact with the crazy woman.

Not a good advert for your university, either, I’d have thought…

She said the cashier at the branch in New York would not serve her until she answered the question.

‘I yelled, “I want my multi-grain bagel” ,’ she added.

I’d have given it to you, love. At maximum velocity and with great accuracy. Pity I never went into retail, isn’t it?

Prof Rosenthal, who is in her 60s, told the New York Post she would not back down, so the store manager called police, who ordered her to leave. ‘It was very humiliating to be thrown out – all I did was ask for a bagel,’ she added.

No, that wasn’t ‘all you did’, was it? You abused some poor corporate drone who I expect makes a tenth of what the taxpayers pay to keep you in expensive coffee.

For someone apparently keen on semantic purity, you’ve got a real way of deflecting any responsibility for your own behaviour…

And because Prof Rosenthal’s blind spot isn’t exactly unknown among wackademics, here’s someone eager to capitalise on it:

Marie Clair, of the Plain English Campaign, said: ‘She sounds like a plain English champion.

‘We need more people with the confidence to fight back against language that doesn’t help them.’

What, against the frontline troops of the evil corporate machine, the poor bloody barista? Get a life, Marie!

One Starbucks employee said Prof Rosenthal was at fault for refusing to answer a ‘reasonable question’.

Indeed she was.

If she really wants to ‘stand up for the English language’, as she claimed, here’s the way to do it.