A mystery man has been hailed as a hero after helping to prevent an accident today.Ooh, exciting!
Stopped a runaway dray horse from crushing a little old lady? Swooped in to pull a child from beneath a falling grand piano being hoisted from the 13th floor of a skyscraper?
Maybe the more prosaic ‘kitten up a tree’ scenario?
At around 2pm, cars began swerving after a pair of burning jeans fell from a lorry in the middle of Montpelier Row, Blackheath.Who the hell orders a lorry-load of burning jeans..!?
Jean Richardson, who works at Heath Estates, watched the scene unfold from her office.*swoon*
She said: “The smoke was causing absolute chaos. You weren’t sure if it was a bomb or what.
“All of a sudden this man appeared, nonchalantly walked across the road, picked it up, took it to the side of the road and stamped it ou.”
She said: “He was a hero. He stopped what could have been a serious accident.”We’re clearly getting a little far away from the usual definition of ‘hero’ if it now encompasses a man who puts out a small piece of cloth that’s on fire…
Lee Green firefighters attended the scene.Too late, boys! The International Man of Mystery got this one!
Say, while you’re there, and it’s awfully warm…. Coke break?
Liar, Liar Pants on fire!
ReplyDeleteThank you. I was having a rubbish day and this made me laugh out loud.
ReplyDeleteYou weren’t sure if it was a bomb or what.
ReplyDeleteOohhh. I see Big Brothers ministry of disinformation and scare stories is WELL worth its money then!! Cus EVERY smoking truck is a fucking BOMB isnt it?
Probably the only "Government" department that actually DOES what it is paid to do.
(And I have just noticed whats wrong with this bastard key board....NO BASTARDING APOSTRAPHE!)
Hero! If I hear that word used in relation to anybody other than our troops returning from overseas duty I am going to explode in a manner that will dwarf any bomb that a terrorist could use. The misuse of the word in relation this person and the likes of idiots on sports fields has got to stop, the word has a special meaning and its use should be rationed.
ReplyDeleteMy hero, my hero.
ReplyDeleteFuror Teutonicus is ahead of me on the key differences between things that smoke and things that explode. Incidentally, mate, if you're missing an apostrophe why not ¿sɐɯɯoɔ ǝsn uɐɔ noʎ os uʍop ǝpısdn ǝʇıɹʍ
ReplyDelete"Thank you. I was having a rubbish day and this made me laugh out loud."
ReplyDeleteIt is somewhat mind-boggling, isn't it?
And there seems to be an amazing lack of curiousity on the part of the newspaper about it...
"Oohhh. I see Big Brothers ministry of disinformation and scare stories is WELL worth its money then!!"
Bless her, she probably has a boring, dead-end job. This is most likely the most exciting thing she's ever seen...
"Hero! If I hear that word used in relation to anybody other than our troops returning from overseas duty I am going to explode in a manner that will dwarf any bomb that a terrorist could use. "
Gets pretty galling, doesn't it?
"Incidentally, mate, if you're missing an apostrophe why not ¿sɐɯɯoɔ ǝsn uɐɔ noʎ os uʍop ǝpısdn ǝʇıɹʍ"
*chuckle*
Bless her, she probably has a boring, dead-end job. This is most likely the most exciting thing she's ever seen...
ReplyDeleteThat may well be. But it is the fact that every burning bin, every whiff of smoke from behind the bike sheds these days is a case of "Oooooohhhhh may be its nasty tewwowists wiv a BOMB!!"
SHIT the public are THICK!!!
THEN they let these imbiciles VOTE???
Mein Furor,
ReplyDeleteYour constant misspelling of imbecile on the internet is a peerless method for advertising stupidity.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteSo that's what happened to my consignment of hot pants.
ReplyDelete