Tuesday, 16 November 2010

Oh, ‘Experts’! Is There Nothing They Can’t Tell Us?

An OAP crime wave is washing across Sussex. Hundreds of pensioners and elderly residents across the county have been arrested on suspicion of theft, fraud, assault and serious sexual offences.
Oh, and what’s causing this?

A sudden uptick in the number of crimes (thanks, Labour!) for which one can be arrested? A sudden deterioration in the quality of our police farce (thanks again, Labour!) to the point where they will only turn up if they are sure of a result and sure they won’t get a kicking?

Nah, can’t be either of those things…
Experts claimed the harsh economic climate could have pushed pensioners into crime.
Oh. Right.
A 94-year-old woman was the oldest person arrested by Sussex Police in the last three years. The woman, who was arrested on suspicion of a theft in 2009, was one of two ninety-year-old plus ladies arrested by the force.
Clearly, this ‘harsh economic climate’ is capable of afflicting people in the past!

Maybe the old girl’s a witch? Should we see if she floats?

3 comments:

  1. I'm puzzled by the claim (by the Argus) that this represents an upsurge - nothing in the online story indicates it. They say:

    1,282 over 65s were arrested between 2007 and 2009

    but don't quote figures for, say, 2004 to 2006. And that 94-year-old woman [who] was the oldest person arrested by Sussex Police in the last three years could be the oldest ever, or there could have been an older one in 2006 - we just don't know.

    The story proves nothing. The story suggests nothing. Stupid msm.

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  2. Oh, those senile delinquents, all sitting around on park benches swigging Sanatogen and knitting with intent.

    It's getting to the point where young gang members are afraid to go out at night. They might come home in tears because their hoodies have been swapped for chunky pullovers with elves on them.


    The horror!

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  3. "...but don't quote figures for, say, 2004 to 2006. "

    Yes, always suspicious. Like that missing-in-action mediaeval warm period... ;)

    "The horror!"

    I'm quite looking forward to doing handbrake turns on my tricked-out electric scooter while swigging a bottle of Stone's Green Ginger Wine... ;)

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