Monday, 15 November 2010

”Oh, the humanity!”

When it was launched a little over a year ago it was seen as another important weapon in the battle against crime.

Costing £80,000, the unmanned surveillance balloon was designed to give police an ‘eye in the sky’ at major events.
But police chiefs have been forced to scrap the balloon…
Opposition to aerial surveillance? Cutbacks? Someone lost the remote down the back of the break-room sofa?
…because it can’t cope with British weather.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

What, that didn’t occur to anyone before they bought it? In Manchester!?
When faced with the high winds and heavy rain for which Manchester is notorious, the 25ft helium-filled balloon had a nasty habit of being blown away or ripping.
*sigh*

So how much are they we out for this idiocy?
The balloon, camera equipment and the truck that carried it all around, which operated as a studio where five officers viewed footage, was bought from makers Sonic Communications in Birmingham for £80,000.
Gah!

Fair play to Sonic Communications, lads, you played a blinder! Clearly, you could sell fridges to Eskimos.

Selling a flimsy helium balloon (plus truck!) as a surveillance device to plod was no doubt like shooting particularly dim fish in a very small barrel.

With a bazooka...
Chief Superintendent Dave Anthony, of Greater Manchester Police’s specialist operations branch, said: ‘We experienced a number of technical and other problems with the blimp and it was decided, especially in the current climate (Ed: *wry chuckle*), that it was neither cost effective nor operationally viable to maintain.’
Oh, I don’t know. It was probably a lot more useful than you…
‘We have been able to recycle various parts of the blimp…’
As ACPO spare parts?
It has now been sold at a loss but police chiefs said they were unable to confirm the figure.
Perhaps you need a detective to find them?
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8 comments:

  1. Captain Haddock15 November 2010 at 10:40

    They simply don't give a shit .. its not their money which is being squandered, after all ..

    The "Blimp" ought to have been accorded temporary "ACPO Rank" .. it would have blended in with all the other fat, useless, gas-filled Blimps .. seamlessly ..

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  2. Acting CI Bormann15 November 2010 at 12:04

    Hah, I knew es vos barmy.

    Acting Chief Insp Franz Bormann
    Neighbourhood Zeppelin Team.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Lynne15 November 2010 at 12:46

    Up, up and awaaaay - with the fairies.

    No wonder coppers can't cop any more with such an intellectually challenged brain trust running the show.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous15 November 2010 at 13:54

    please remember that the officers looking after the ming mong/underclass/gangstas 24/7 would have had an opinion on the blimp which would have been at some(complete and utter)variance to those of their senior managers - but then, what do they and the rest of 'normal' people know eh?

    ACPO = bunch of self serving bonus awarding arseholes

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  5. microdave15 November 2010 at 15:18

    Are we really supposed to believe that nobody in this force has ANY experience of the laws of aerodynamics? Jesus H Christ, have none of them ever flown in strong winds - even a 300 ton Jumbo will get bounced about, never mind a balloon.

    In fact they DO have "in house" experts, who would no doubt have told them for nothing....

    http://www.gmp.police.uk/mainsite/pages/asu.htm

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  6. Anonymous15 November 2010 at 16:56

    Look Greater Manchester Police Farce could not detect water if I threw them bodily into the River Mersey. It is not that they are inefficient, if they were abducted by aliens it is probable that no law abiding citizen would notice and the crime rate would fall. They are currently complaining about cutting their budget (Doughnut Stores are in crisis talks) and face the worrying possibility that senior ranks may find their bonuses cut.

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  7. Colonel Blimp15 November 2010 at 23:36

    And then the bubble burst...

    ReplyDelete
  8. JuliaM16 November 2010 at 07:08

    "please remember that the officers looking after the ming mong/underclass/gangstas 24/7 would have had an opinion on the blimp which would have been at some(complete and utter)variance to those of their senior managers..."

    Oh, indeed.

    "In fact they DO have "in house" experts, who would no doubt have told them for nothing...."

    Yup. But then, they are up against the hard sell, and the shiny truck, and - who knows - some wining & dining at the company's expense?

    "...face the worrying possibility that senior ranks may find their bonuses cut."

    *gasp*

    I'll believe it when I see it...

    "And then the bubble burst..."

    Heh!

    ReplyDelete