Thursday 23 December 2010

Bidisha: The Gift That Keeps On Giving....

CiF has unaccountably allowed Bidisha the option of gracing us with her 'Thought for the Day' recently (and yes, it's likely she really only does have the one per day...).

Here she is on the plans to make a movie about the life of Aung San Suu Kyi. Good news, yes?

Well, no:
Yes, that's what we need. Not electoral transparency, the rule of law and international political accountability. We need Yeoh, star of Ang Lee's balletic fightfest Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, in a thigh-toning allegorical tribute with great costumes. No doubt, in the film, as soon as those daft BBC World news cameras are done briefly reporting her plight, she'll toss aside her dull tomes of history and law. Then she'll take off most of her clothes and meditate exotically for a moment (watered-down Buddhism plays well with a western audience) before kicking and chopping her way around the house in Rocky-like anticipation of the final confrontation with her jailers. Which will be filmed, of course, outside, in the rain, in slow motion.
I...what?!?

This bizarre diatribe prompts commenter tomper2 to note:
"It seems that Bidisha has honed her skills as a critic to such a supernatural level that she's able to review films that haven't even been made yet."

5 comments:

  1. But it's not bad as a pitch. I'd go.

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  2. Taking her clothes off, kicking and punching, slow motion... What's not to like?

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  3. Bidisha's not fit to lick the boots of someone who is fit to lick the boots of someone who is fit to lick the boots of Aung San Suu Kyi. That piece of bullshit reads like the rant of some desperately sad student who got wasted the night before and hit Facebook without doing the breathalyser.

    OK, good excuse for me to wear my SUPPORT DEMOCRACY t-shirt with the picture of Aung San Suu Kyi on it while I hit the mall for some last-minute Xmas shopping.

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  4. "But it's not bad as a pitch. I'd go."

    Indeed! Think I'll wait for the DVD though...

    "Taking her clothes off, kicking and punching, slow motion... What's not to like?"

    Well, when you put it like that... ;)

    "That piece of bullshit reads like the rant of some desperately sad student who got wasted the night before and hit Facebook without doing the breathalyser."

    Which, to be fair, doesn't really distinguish it from any OTHER Bidisha column...

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  5. Bidisha spends much of her time railing against things that don’t actually exist. The “cultural femicide” at literary festivals, for instance, or the “erasure of women from public life.” Or the “unconscious and generalised misogyny” of the BBC. Or the “brutalising” and “devastating” effects on the male psyche of watching Olympic athletes.

    It was only a matter of time before she turned this paranormal talent to films that don’t exist.

    Merry Christmas, Julia.

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