Newsflash: That Old Adage ‘Children Should Be Seen And Not Heard’..?

Yes, it applies to you:

Mums claim they are being pushed out of a neighbourhood centre.

Dozens have signed up to a Facebook group after they said Greenstead Community Centre banned children from its cafe in the afternoons.

It was launched after parents were told youngsters were only welcome in the cafe at certain hours.

And this prompted utter OUTRAGE!!! that little Ryan and Chardonnay are no longer given free rein to make everyone else’s lives a misery.

How dare other people want to enjoy a coffee without the din of other people’s spawn?

Crystal Roberts, 28, who set up the Facebook page, said: “Families are now directed to a back room, out of the way. There are no seats for adults and no toys for children.

“It means people can no longer socialise in the cafe.’’

Actually, no. It means other people can now socialise in the café….

The group, called Bring back the old Greenstead Community Centre, says it has complained.

Mother-of-two Crystal said: “But the managment is not interested. They want to get more money to keep the centre going, so we are being pushed out.

“It’s discrimination, not what a community centre is supposed to be about.

“We want the centre back to how it was, welcoming, a great meeting place, somewhere pleasant to bring your children in between playgroups.”

And others would like that too, only without the damn children.

As the trustee patiently explains:

Trustee Julie Young said: “The centre is predominantly used by mums with small children.

“We have lost business as a result of noise levels created by children playing with toys in the cafe.

“We tried to think of a solution that would keep them happy, so we created a separate room, where parents could occupy the children. “The idea was once they had finished lunch, they could retire to the family room, leaving the cafe free for others.’’

But no, they’d rather not consider the needs of others, hence the wailing and rending of garments.

She added: “It’s about balancing the needs of all users and making the centre financially stable. ’’

Any shortfall caused by the lack of mothers using the place as free childcare will no doubt be offset by the grateful users who are now no longer expected to put up with other people’s children and their ‘free expression time’.