Tuesday, 3 May 2011

But The SeaLife Centre's Just Down The Road...

...surely they have contacts in the marine mammal rescue business who could've helped?
Firefighters had to use a specialst search and rescue crew to get a 30-stone man who needed to go to hospital out of his flat.

An urban search and rescue crew from Lexden near Colchester plus three fire engines from Grays and one from Basildon spent five hours releasing the ill 53-year-old man from the flat at Russet House, Falcon Avenue, Grays, before he was taken to Basildon Hospital.
Well, that'll give him an incentive to lose weight. The food's terrible...
at

16 comments:

  1. Woman on a Raft3 May 2011 at 09:42

    Search and Rescue? He can't have been that difficult to find.

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  2. Captain Haddock3 May 2011 at 09:57

    Do we have a new contender for the title "Prince of Whales" ?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Angry Exile3 May 2011 at 10:31

    I wouldn't say he's fat but...

    ... the last time someone ran him over it was because they didn't have enough petrol to go round him.

    Badoom-tish!

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  4. Angry Exile3 May 2011 at 10:46

    I wouldn't say he's fat but...

    ... he once fell in the estuary and the tide came in at Teddington Lock.

    Badoom-tish.

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  5. Captain Haddock3 May 2011 at 11:19

    I wouldn't say he's fat but ..

    Last time he went swimming the Coastguard surrounded him with lights & bouys, as a hazard to navigation ..

    Boom-boom ! ..

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  6. Angry Exile3 May 2011 at 11:22

    I wouldn't say he's fat but...

    ... scientists have just found out that the moon is actually orbiting him.

    Badoom tish.

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  7. Angry Exile3 May 2011 at 11:24

    I wouldn't say he's fat but...

    ... when they told him to haul ass it took him three trips.

    Boomtish

    ReplyDelete
  8. mj3 May 2011 at 16:04

    "Only" 30 stone? (190kg)

    [Advert!]

    http://www.sja.org.uk/sja/counties/suffolk/latest-news/ambulance-crews-praised.aspx

    //Adrian was placed on a special liquid diet in June last year, at the weight of 44.09 stones. Since that time he has required frequent transportation which could not have been delivered by a normal NHS ambulance.

    St John Ambulance were tasked to assist with his requirements and Adrian, who lives in Colchester, has now taken his last journey with the crew as a bariatric patient. Now at the weight of 33.7 stones, he is able to begin using a more widely available vehicle for his hospital visits.//

    And -
    http://www.sja.org.uk/sja/counties/essex/units/hawkwell-and-hockley/fleet/bariatric-ambulance.aspx

    //During 2010 we adapted one of our accident and emergency ambulances to carry bariatric/obese patients. This vehicle is supported by our response ambulance and a team of specially trained members.

    Various equipment is available for this vehicle including:

    Megasus bariatric ambulance trolley which has a load capacity of up to 300kg and has extending side platforms for patient comfort
    C-max stair climber with the capacity to safely transfer passengers weighing up to 160kg up and down stairs and steps
    Camel/ELK inflatable lifting devices for lifting patients to a sitting position with a weight limit of up to 450kg
    Airslide lateral transfer matress which allows patients up to 544kg to be moved with the minimum of ease
    Walking aids
    Wheelchairs
    Step ramps
    Hoist
    Wheel chair and trolley winch.//


    [Disclaimer - other Bariatric Ambulance providers are available - I am a Member of St John Ambulance]

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  9. microdave3 May 2011 at 17:37

    Couldn't they have enlisted the help of the local "travellers"? I'm sure they would have a suitable flatbed truck with a Hiab crane....


    I wouldn't say he's fat but...

    ...when he fell out the back of the ambulance the police advised drivers to proceed with caution, and treat him as a roundabout.


    Badoom-tish!

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  10. Captain Haddock3 May 2011 at 19:09

    "Couldn't they have enlisted the help of the local "travellers"? I'm sure they would have a suitable flatbed truck with a Hiab crane"....

    Dunno about the local pikeys MD .. but I'm sure the Royal Tank Regiment could have helped move the great, fat bastard on a Tank Transporter (or two) ..

    "Bariatric" ? ... more like fucking "Barrieratric" ..

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  11. Zaphod3 May 2011 at 19:26

    You're a cruel lot! :-)

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  12. blueknight3 May 2011 at 21:50

    I remember an 'Ambulance needs assistance' call to man who had fallen out of bed, dislocated both hips and shat himself.
    He wasn't heavy, but for different ressons nothing was safe to grab.

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  13. Loki3 May 2011 at 22:45

    I wouldn't say he was fat but...


    his bath has stretch marks.


    Badoom-tish!

    ReplyDelete
  14. JuliaM4 May 2011 at 05:21

    "Search and Rescue? He can't have been that difficult to find."

    *chuckles*

    "This vehicle is supported by our response ambulance and a team of specially trained members."

    The biggest and strongest, I'd imagine?

    "You're a cruel lot! :-)"

    But funny! :D

    "He wasn't heavy, but for different ressons nothing was safe to grab."

    Ewww!

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  15. Anonymous4 May 2011 at 12:55

    "he was taken to Basildon Hospital."

    He'll be lucky to get out alive, if my Mum's experience is typical.

    ReplyDelete
  16. David Gillies5 May 2011 at 21:33

    I wouldn't say he was fat, but when he jumped in the air he got stuck.

    I wouldn't say he was fat, but when he sits around the house, he sits around the house.

    etc...

    ReplyDelete