Saturday, 9 July 2011

Warning! Here Be Chimeras!

A big cat was spotted prowling around an East Lancashire housing estate on a summer afternoon, it has been revealed.
Oh, here we go again
The sighting of the four foot long creature, described as a cross between a tiger, cheetah and leopard
Wha..?
The caller told officers the animal, which had a long tail and ‘tiger spots’, had been running down back streets on the Brunshaw estate in Burnley.
Tiger spots? Are they like ‘Dalmatian stripes’…?
Suspecting it was a Bengal cat or ocelot, police contacted the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (DEFRA) to find out if any were licensed in the area.
You don’t need a license for a domestic Bengal, unless it’s a first cross that you are breeding from…
The details were revealed to the Lancashire Telegraph under the Freedom of Information Act.

However, the list does not include reports of lions or jaguars because searches under those words on police systems brought up a lot of unrelated information.
OK, well, I can understand the ‘jaguar’ bit, because presumably it called up all references to the car, but ‘lion’..?

13 comments:

  1. Lithium Ion Batteries called lion?

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  2. Tiger spots? Hmm, things are different up north.

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  3. You don’t need a license for a domestic Bengal...

    Speaking as someone who drops over $100 on registering two cats and a mutt every autumn I'd suggest the missing word is 'yet'. ;-)

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  4. Captain Haddock9 July 2011 at 12:00

    ‘tiger spots’

    One has to make certain allowances for the fact that its Lancashire .. ;)

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  5. Julia - Sorry for the O/T here but I saw this and thought of you:

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2012838/Gypsies-slam-Kent-council-1m-site-upgrade-We-dont-want-travellers-here.html

    I'll save any further comment for if/when you dissect it in your own inimitable way ;)

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  6. The unrelated reports refer to all the times the police lion tamer gets called out to deal with the dangerous dogs.

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  7. These sporadic and elusive big cats, they arrive in flying saucers.

    They tease a few people, then fly away again, with the traditional intermittent invisibilty screen on.

    This explains two mysteries for the price of one.

    Oh, they also steal odd socks.

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  9. Why were 60 firearms officers and the lion expert not dispatched to this one? Too bust with dogs again?

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  10. but ‘lion’..?

    Mark my words, the Rotarians will be next.

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  11. All those reports saying "but I fink eez a lion bastud"?

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  12. "Sorry for the O/T here but I saw this and thought of you..."

    Ahhh, yes. Would have written it up yesterday, but a summer cold laid me low :(

    "The unrelated reports refer to all the times the police lion tamer gets called out to deal with the dangerous dogs."

    Heh!

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  13. The unrelated reports refer to all the times the police lion tamer gets called out to deal with the dangerous dogs.

    Plus all the times that a highly trained and educated police officer can't spell "lying"?

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