Thanks for a most entertaining bit of Sunday reading!
Re MTG's comment, down in Coornwall where I used to live, the favoured way to induce an overdue birth is to ride the roller coaster at the local theme park then stop off for a curry on the way home - works every time!
As for what Cracked say about the New Jersey alpine ride - 'Cutting out seat belts and technicians from the budget probably made this one of the cheapest rides ever' - I think I can do better.
A place we visited in France prides itself on being one of the cheapest theme parks ever - its mission statement was be cheap enough for local families to afford regular days out there.
Thus most of the rides are attendant-free and rely on child-power to get them moving, including a vast and incredibly heavy metal swingboat and, of course, the water flume; you pick up your heavy plastic sled at the bottom of an immense spiral staircase and carry it yourself all the way to the top, where a garden hose is spraying water down the track.
On the plus side, the children are so exhausted after half a dozen goes that they never want to see another theme park again.
"...the ride was so violent it aborted your unborn children even if you had a penis...."
ReplyDeleteInspired brilliance.
Thanks for a most entertaining bit of Sunday reading!
ReplyDeleteRe MTG's comment, down in Coornwall where I used to live, the favoured way to induce an overdue birth is to ride the roller coaster at the local theme park then stop off for a curry on the way home - works every time!
As for what Cracked say about the New Jersey alpine ride - 'Cutting out seat belts and technicians from the budget probably made this one of the cheapest rides ever' - I think I can do better.
A place we visited in France prides itself on being one of the cheapest theme parks ever - its mission statement was be cheap enough for local families to afford regular days out there.
Thus most of the rides are attendant-free and rely on child-power to get them moving, including a vast and incredibly heavy metal swingboat and, of course, the water flume; you pick up your heavy plastic sled at the bottom of an immense spiral staircase and carry it yourself all the way to the top, where a garden hose is spraying water down the track.
On the plus side, the children are so exhausted after half a dozen goes that they never want to see another theme park again.
"Inspired brilliance."
ReplyDeleteYes, the 'Cracked' ream can bring it!
"On the plus side, the children are so exhausted after half a dozen goes that they never want to see another theme park again."
:D