Monday, 26 September 2011

It Comes As A Surprise To Me Too…

…albeit for differing reasons:
A former Sherborne teenager who denied criminal damage to a glass window pane in a door at a housing association property where he was then living was convicted at a trial, despite him not attending.
Well, yes. Conviction in absentia is perfectly possible, and not even rare.
The bench was told he had not turned up for the trial hearing on August 19 and he admitted failing to answer his bail.

The case had gone ahead in his absence, and he had been convicted of destroying the window pane on March 24.
If you don’t turn up, surely you can’t complain?
When the case first came before the court, magistrates heard that his contention was that it had been a lawful accident.

Julian Lawrence, prosecuting, said that the criminal damage incident had been after Rendell became angry following a friend of his having been searched by police.
Well, that’s what I always do when a friend has been searched by the police, break someone’s wind…

Oh. Wait. No, I don’t. Mainly because none of my friends has ever been searched by the police…
Simon Brimacombe, defending, said Rendell was confused about his having been required to attend court and thought he had been merely told off.

He said: "He thought that matter had been dealt with. The conviction comes as quite a surprise to him."
*sigh* Well, of course it does!

Consequences must be a totally alien concept to people of his generation!

And the judicial system seems determined to reinforce that attitude:
Magistrates imposed a fine and surcharge of £40 for the criminal damage offence and decided the conditional discharge should continue to run for its full 18 months.
Chances of that fine being paid, anyone?

10 comments:

  1. Just occurred, to me that we could set up some foot wheels (foot powered waterwheels) to windpower turbines and make them walk off their fines in power generation, same with prisoners :D

    Probably against their human rights, but at least they won't stop when the wind does.

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  2. Round and round we go26 September 2011 at 12:10

    I like the idea, Quiet Man, though I suspect the wheels will need to be unbreakable because when I gets angry I break fings, innit?

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  3. "confused about his having been required to attend court "

    Actually that's more than likely true. I see it with my own kids and their mates all the time. The justice system and the courts do leave them totally confused and bewildered.

    Constantly letters aren't sent out and when they are then they are in a language that even I, with a degree, sometimes can't comprehend.

    Desk Sergeants go to great lengths to explain Police Bail and what it entails but, thanks to Blair's education policy that reading and writing stunts a child's growth and breaches his Human Rights, most of the Stabby Mc Chav's of this world are genuinely incapable of understanding it ...even if they wanted to...which,tbh, they don't.

    Oh btw...try paying a fine by installments. It's almost impossible to get through to the 'help' line to arrange payment and when you do they still get the paper work wrong.

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  4. Someone help me understand this ...

    I can commit criminal damage, fail to answer bail, then fail to attend court and get away with a pissant fine ?

    Now someone explain to me why I shouldn't nip round the neighbors tonight and 'resolve' the fly tipping issue we've been having ...

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  5. Jaded can probably back me up on this one and confirm its veracity.

    Custody Officer (after having gotten Stabby McRetard to sign on the e-signature thingy): "What day is it today?"

    Stabby:"DUnno..oh hang on..it's giro day so its Tuesday innit?"

    Custody Officer: "Right, you get your giro every fortnight?"

    Stabby (confused): "Whats a fought nite innit?!" [I kid you not]

    Custody Officer:" NOT next giro day but the giro day after you MUST be here at 3 o clock in the afternoon. No excuses. If you are not here we will come and put you in prison"

    I've actually witnessed that sort of conversation. There are a lot of kids out there that don't even know what a 'fortnight' means.

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  6. Consider yourself backed up.
    The educational standards of the country are plummeting downwards at an alarming rate.It used to be unusual to get a criminal in that couldn't read or write when I first started,not any more.
    Jaded

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  7. "Chances of that fine being paid, anyone?"

    You've got to be kidding! This fool will be calling the court next week to enquire why he's not received his cheque yet?

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  8. It's a real eye-opener to actually sit in the public gallery and observe a few random cases.

    A young pregnant woman, she'd previously been convicted for assault, and had stopped paying the installments of compensation to the victim.

    She was arrested, kept in the cells overnight. She seemed a bit peeved, but tried to be patient with the magistrate the next morning.

    "I forgot about it cos I moved house a few months ago."

    "What do you propose to do to pay this?"

    "I'll pay some when I've got some spare money."

    "We need something more definite than that."

    "Look, I'll pay it when I can. I've got kids, you know?"

    "I need a number."

    "Alright, ten, twenty quid, whatever." (Tut).

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  9. "Just occurred, to me that we could set up some foot wheels (foot powered waterwheels) to windpower turbines and make them walk off their fines in power generation..."

    Excellent idea!

    "...but, thanks to Blair's education policy that reading and writing stunts a child's growth and breaches his Human Rights, most of the Stabby Mc Chav's of this world are genuinely incapable of understanding it..."

    There's a depressing thought...

    "Now someone explain to me why I shouldn't nip round the neighbors tonight and 'resolve' the fly tipping issue we've been having ..."

    That's what we;re leading to, isn't it?

    "This fool will be calling the court next week to enquire why he's not received his cheque yet?"

    Heh!

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  10. " She seemed a bit peeved, but tried to be patient with the magistrate the next morning."

    *grinds teeth*

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