Oxfordshire health bosses have advised parents on the best way to answer inquisitive kids’ questions on sex.Whew! Thank god we have councils to tell us this sort of stuff, eh? How ever did we manage before this?
Advice for inquisitive three- to four-year-olds includes telling toddlers about ‘special cuddles’ between mummies and daddies which end in a baby being ‘kept warm in mummy’s tummy’.*speechless*
Stop sticking your hands in the public’s pocket!
On being asked by his parents what he wanted for his birthday, one four year old said " I wanna watch"
ReplyDeleteSo they let him.
*waits for the inevitable legal action from Stonewall because the council are handing out 'non multi sexuality' 'anti-diversity' or 'homophobic' flavoured advice*
ReplyDeleteCome on, really, this is 2011...are we really suggesting to cheeeldren that ONLY heterosexuals can have babies....?
Just wow!
ReplyDelete"Stop sticking your hands in the public’s pocket! " ..
ReplyDeleteBeats working for a living .. it must do, there are so many thousands of 'em at it ..
*finally rendered speechless*
ReplyDeleteGlad I pay my taxes overseas.
ReplyDeleteIt's important to be truthful and open when you have 'The Talk'. I said to my four year old simply:
ReplyDelete"Coitus from the Latin btw, a process by which spermatozoa are deposited in the female body during procreation by a turgid male member."
Which probably explains why , at age 43, i'm spending this morning wrapping birthday presents for my great grandchildren....
" ... a turgid male member" ..
ReplyDeleteWhat an excellent description of Blair, Brown, Prescott, Balls et al ..
turgid [ˈtɜːdʒɪd]
adj
1. swollen and distended; congested
2. (of style or language) pompous and high-flown; bombastic
[from Latin turgidus, from turgēre to swell]
Capt Haddock, I think you are mistaking turgid for turd.
ReplyDeleteCome to think of it, turgid turds is pretty apt.
"Stop sticking your hands in the public’s pocket!"
ReplyDeleteUnless, of course, it is a substitute for real sex in which case carry on feeling.
"Advice for inquisitive three- to four-year-olds..."
ReplyDeleteI cannot for the life of me believe that toddlers are THAT inquisitive?
Donna Husband, health improvement principal at NHS Buckinghamshire and Oxfordshire Cluster, said they wanted to help parents prepare for difficult questions.
ReplyDeleteRight, that's another one we can easily cull from the public spending requirement. She an be replaced easy peasy with a few thousand copies of "Mummy Laid An Egg" and "Dr Dog" both by Babette Cole.
A little boy walking in the street with his Dad saw a pair of dogs mating. His dad explained that they were making puppies.
ReplyDeleteLater on in the week the boy hearing the sounds of passion coming from his parents room walked in to see what was going on.
'What are you doing Dad?'
'We are making you a little brother or sister.'
The boy thought for a while and said, 'Turn her over, I'd rather have a puppy....
"So they let him."
ReplyDeleteLOL!
"Just wow!"
Unbelievable, isn't it?
"I cannot for the life of me believe that toddlers are THAT inquisitive?"
Me neither.
"Right, that's another one we can easily cull from the public spending requirement. "
If only! These jobs seem safe...
"The boy thought for a while and said, 'Turn her over, I'd rather have a puppy...."
:D