People who fail to keep their front gardens tidy face hundreds of pounds in fines and clean-up charges…What?!?
… while those who shop them will be rewarded with discount shopping vouchers.Double what?!?!
Wait, Newham. Isn’t that…?
Ah. Of course:
Olympic host borough Newham is so concerned about the bad impression that messy gardens full of rubbish will have on the thousands of visitors who will flock to the area next summer that it has drawn up an action plan.Well, let’s hope that the bylaw drafters of ancient Newham were foresighted enough to write onto the local statute books some law by which the council can compel people to clean up their front gardens.
Or they are going to be very, very busy fighting lawsuits.
"As the borough prepares for the Olympic Games, where thousands of people will be welcomed to Newham, the borough wants to ensure that it gives a good impression, which is not mired by any rubbish visitors might see."I think the word your semi-literate spokesman was grasping for was ‘marred’, not ‘mired’…
‘Mired’ is what you are likely to become if you attempt to go down this route. In red-tape, regulations and angry court actions.
And, if they went ahead with it, what's the betting they would be fining respectable pensioners who happened to be in hospital for a couple of months in May and June, but ignoring the chav families who had gardens full of old tyres and broken fridges because it was just too difficult?
ReplyDeleteThe Stasi never really went away, you know .. They merely re-located to British Town Halls !
ReplyDeleteAs always.
ReplyDeleteThreaten to make you conform.
It would help if KFC != The Dorchester.
ReplyDeleteIt's Newham, FFS. You'd feel let down if it wasn't a shithole.
thousands of people will be welcomed to Newham
lolocaust. I'd rather drag nine yards of rusty barbed wire through my urethra than go near the blasted place.
"I'd rather drag nine yards of rusty barbed wire through my urethra"
ReplyDeleteRule 34.
Become an informer. Denounce your friends and family. Fabulous prizes to be won.
ReplyDelete'Kinell.
SBC
ReplyDeleteAh, so you've seen one man one jar, then.
DO NOT GOOGLE. This is what a visit to Newham's like.
Bah, you looked, didn't you?
I thought most of the front gardens in Newham had been given over to parking?
ReplyDeleteIt seems to be an annual exercise in Newham... only this time they're blaming it on the Olympics.
ReplyDeleteA great initiative ruined by official advice like this....
"Newham council can recycle your old Christmas tree. By calling 0208 430 2000. Please place the tree in your front garden before making the call."
Doh!
Surely most visitors to the Lympics won't be wondering what it is like to wander off down the byways and quiet streets of Newham, will they?
ReplyDeleteI would think as soon as the medals are presented they will be boarding the first rapid-transit to their hotel elsewhere.
But the the vanity of councils is such that they think people will look at their patch of worn out grass and broken concrete.
XX which is not mired by any rubbish visitors might see."XX
ReplyDeleteBesides the rubbish, that is the "Olympics" do they mean?
"...but ignoring the chav families who had gardens full of old tyres and broken fridges because it was just too difficult?"
ReplyDeleteOh, I can see it happening! It always does...
"I thought most of the front gardens in Newham had been given over to parking?"
Probably have, thought what's parked on them isn't always shiny new working-order cars.
"A great initiative ruined by official advice like this...."
I think they'll mostly be cleared away by the summer, won't they? Even Newham isn't that slow!
"Surely most visitors to the Lympics won't be wondering what it is like to wander off down the byways and quiet streets of Newham, will they?"
Not the ones who are planning on going home, anyway...