Well, I Suppose It's A New Excuse...

A prolific graffiti vandal who was sentenced last year for causing damage totalling £10,000 across Bristol has struck again – this time leaving a clean-up bill of at least £3,800 in his wake.

Well, why not, I mean, it’s not as if his last punishment was sufficient to deter him,was it?

And I bet this one won’t, either…

Jones pleaded guilty to leaving his tag "Norm" or "Nrm" on a lamppost belonging to Bristol City Council, an electricity substation belonging to Western Power Distribution, a van, a church wall, a youth centre and a railway bridge belonging to Network Rail.

And that’s not all:

Jones also pleaded guilty to producing cannabis with his friend Charlie Chittell-Gilholm, 22, at a flat they shared in Oxford Place, Easton.

Mitigation’ll be something, won’t it?

Sarah Iles, defending Jones, of King Road, Knowle, said he was struggling to stop his habit of vandalising property because he was surrounded by friends who were graffiti artists.

Oh? Is that how it works? Do we have criminality by osmosis, now?

But she said: "I'm pleased to report he's no longer in that environment any more and he's not living with friends in Easton and is now living with his grandmother in Knowle.

"His life today is a very full and constructive one and his offending his now behind him."

Ms Iles said her client was taking a music course at college.

She said: "He's a very talented individual and he's using that talent constructively and putting his past behind him.

Just how ‘talented’ and ‘creative’ is he, when all it seems he can manage is his misspelled nickname? It’s really only one step up from a dog or cat marking its territory, not the bloody ceiling of the Sistine Chapel!

"Since September, he's not used graffiti."

I think you mean he’s not committed the act of graffiti; clearly, you’re confusing it with drugs, love.

*snaps fingers*

Oh, yeah! Forgot about those! What’s this excuse going to be?

Of her client growing cannabis, she said Jones and his flat mate Chittell- Gilholm had decided to grow the Class B drug for their own use because they could not afford to buy it. She said their bid to cultivate cannabis "was not a sophisticated or successful operation".

Well, it doesn’t need to be, really, does it?

Magistrates gave Jones a 17-week prison sentence, suspended for 18 months, and told him to abide by a 12-week curfew.

*sigh*

Magistrates agreed Jones would not be asked to pay compensation because he would be unable to pay it.

*double sigh*