Monday, 16 January 2012

”If you see me comin’, better step aside…”

So sang Tennessee Ernie Ford. At least this time, the other man didn’t die:
James Askew (24), of Tower Street, Leicester, appeared at the city's magistrates' court yesterday and admitted assaulting an unknown man in New Walk on December 15.

Nicky Bennett, prosecuting, said Askew had been with his mother and stepfather in city centre pubs in the early hours.

She said the defendant was highly intoxicated and when another man walked through the group Askew pushed him and assaulted him as he lay on the ground.
The reason for this family visit to the town’s watering holes? A party?

No. A funeral.

Yes, that’s right. And he wasn’t done fightin’ either:
The court heard a police officer attempted to handcuff him but Askew resisted and was restrained with Captor spray.
And the cause of this unprovoked attack on a complete stranger?
Mike Garvey, for Askew, confirmed he had been to his grandfather's funeral and the family had been celebrating his life.

He added: "The other man could have walked around but decided to clench his fists and walk through the group aggressively."
Just asking for it, innit?
Mr Garvey said Askew was of a previous exemplary character.
Really? Then how do you account for this bizarre behaviour at a funeral?

I doubt it comes from grief. Frankly, you’d have been better off blaming the Demon Drink. Magistrates seem to swallow that...
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5 comments:

  1. Tattyfalarr16 January 2012 at 11:20

    If only Magistrates would swallow the Demon Drink and turn up smashed in court ready for a fight.

    Imagine....pissed-up Mag slurs at some scum "Know what ? You're a fucking arsehole, mate ! Bang out of order ! What the FUCK did you think you were DOING ?! Well fuck that...no fucking way you're gettin' away with THAT!

    I'm sooooo sick of people like you comin' in here taking the piss. Bailiff ! Take this piece of shit round the back and kick his/her fucking head in !

    I hereby award a fucking million quid in compensation to the victim and they get to punch his/her face HARD...at least twice a day for 25 years !"

    Then stagger out of court, arm round a policeman..."I fucking love you...know that ? Fucking LOVE you, mate. Me an' you, eh....me an you against the fucking world!"

    I can but dream :)

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  2. Twenty_Rothmans16 January 2012 at 11:30

    Actually, Julia, I'm prepared to cut him more slack than your usual parade of subhumans.

    Deaths are emotionally-charged events, and you can get a bit silly. If Askew was in work and had no previous, he should be given a scary slap and told to grow up.

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  3. Captain Haddock16 January 2012 at 11:36

    "Number 537 from the Enid Blyton Bumper Book of Mitigation, Your Worship .. My client was at his Grandad's funeral, got blootered and leathered someone .. he's a good lad really .. honest" ..

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  4. Budvar16 January 2012 at 12:03

    I must be reading a different story to everyone else here. As right up to the point of brawling with police, he had a pretty cast iron case of "Self Defence".

    As 20 Roths said, "Deaths are emotionally-charged events, and you can get a bit silly", and I also would concur with his rational of "A slapped wrist and a 10 pound fine"....

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  5. JuliaM17 January 2012 at 05:40

    "If only Magistrates would swallow the Demon Drink and turn up smashed in court ready for a fight."

    :D

    "Actually, Julia, I'm prepared to cut him more slack than your usual parade of subhumans.

    Deaths are emotionally-charged events, and you can get a bit silly."

    And if he'd been abused or taunted by the victim, I might be so inclined too.

    But this seems to be about nothing more than the man wanting to walk on a section of pavement the thug regarded as 'his'!

    "As right up to the point of brawling with police, he had a pretty cast iron case of "Self Defence". "

    For what? 'Aggravated walking'..?!?

    ReplyDelete