Lee Ollett, 33, used two plastic tubes and tape to create a fake firearm and attempted to rob William Hill in Greenwood Avenue, north Hull.
He stood in the queue before handing a betting slip to assistant Chris Needham, stating: "Hand over all your money and no harm will come to you."
Prosecutor Jane Bryan said: "The assistant looked up to see the defendant had produced a white carrier bag wrapped around two tubes.
"He believed the defendant was intending to make him think he was in possession of a gun.
"He didn't think it was a gun and told him: 'It's not going to happen'."
The defendant asked Mr Needham 'Why?' and he replied: 'Because it's not'."Isn’t that little exchange just fantastic?
Ollett tried to retrieve the betting slip from Mr Needham but failed and fled the store.I wish we’d had access to the CCTV too.
Ollett pleaded guilty to attempted robbery on May 5 at Hull Crown Court. He was on bail at the time for stealing coffee from Tesco in Newland Avenue, west Hull, a month earlier. A warrant had been issued for his arrest after he failed to attend court for the case.His defence wasn’t left with much, but straggled gamely on, anyway:
His barrister John Thackray said: "It is difficult to think of a more inept and unsophisticated attempt to rob."Yes, indeed…
Mr Thackray described the robbery attempt as "a cry for help" as Ollet was feeding a drug habit and was living a hand-to-mouth existence.Right. Which is why he stole….coffee? Funny, if I was really starving, I don’t think that’s what I’d go for…
It’s not his first offence, is it?
Recorder Julian Goose QC jailed Ollett, who has 104 previous convictions, for two years and two months.Great! So, now we feed him, and the other crims teach him how not to be a totally incompetent robber.
It just has to be something in the water which accounts for the abnormally high number of complete mongs & retards in Hull .. ;)
ReplyDelete"Which is why he stole….coffee? Funny, if I was really starving, I don’t think that’s what I’d go for… "
ReplyDeletePerhaps he's a caffeine addict. I know I'm a danger to polite society until I've scored a couple of cups of a morning.
Free the Nescafé One, innit?
And here's another mongtard who must surely be a close runner up!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2162594/Liam-doing--Betting-shop-regular-holds-staff-recognise-local-branch.html
Trouble is, he's already passed his moronic genes on!
Coffee has always been a fayourite for junkies to shoplift because it's easy to sell on and they also hide their stash in the jar, so if they get raided the aroma of the coffee overpowers the drugs and baffles the old bill and their sniffer dogs. That's why you'll also find cans full of piss in a junkie cupboard.
ReplyDeleteXX I wish we’d had access to the CCTV too. XX
ReplyDeletePut it on you tube?
Two years and two months. The sentence hasn't increased or been watered down in almost a quarter of a century.
ReplyDeleteA local lad I knew did something very similair back in the late 80's. With two halves of a spray painted broom handle he "held up" a local businessman on his way back from a local bank's nightsafe.
He got two years for it and "celebrated" his 21st birthday with a joint passed down on a dangled piece of string from the window of the above cell. Died two years ago at the age of 45 of heart failure brought on by decades of drug abuse.
My dear ole mam is right when she says "the more things change, the more they stay the same." Round and round it all goes.
"It just has to be something in the water..."
ReplyDeleteI think it must be!
"Perhaps he's a caffeine addict."
I think anon has hit on the real reason..
"And here's another mongtard who must surely be a close runner up!"
Oh, good grief!
"My dear ole mam is right when she says "the more things change, the more they stay the same." "
She is indeed.
Well, that really is the Thomas Crowne Affair ain't it? Reminds me of a case in the USA where some half-wit decided to rob in disguise wearing a Tigger costume. Well, you can imagine... The cops put out an APB for a 6' Tigger and it rapidly ended.
ReplyDeleteAbout 12 years ago I was looking at a flat in Leeds. I asked the current inmates the usual. Like have you been burgled? Well, they had. Somebody shinned the drain-pipe smashed the bathroom window and made off with the "Wash & Go". Now, I'd made a tour of the gaff - postgrads with laptops so I was somewhat puzzled as were the inmates until they had the cops round. Turns out Vidal Sassoon's stuff is ideal for "cooking" heroin. Or for washing your hair but that's just what normal people do with it.
ReplyDeleteNow what really puzzled me was directly opposite this gaff was a big Co-op. Now I don't know much about thievery but it seems to me that shop-lifting is a mite easier than climbing a pipe and breaking and entering. And I know full well that said store stocked said shampoo. I know it because I'd bought it there.
I didn't take the gaff. Because once burgled the same scrotes come back again and again. Much in the same way you or me might use the same ATM.
XX Because once burgled the same scrotes come back again and again. XX
ReplyDeleteMore reason TO take it. And lay in wait.....