Thursday, 26 July 2012

Don't Play 'Knock Down Ginger' In This Neighbourhood!

Mr Hollier said. "We accept Mr Dodds was being extremely irritating and provoking the defendant. He was constantly coming up to the flat, tapping on the window and running away."
Mr Dodds is an adult. And the partner of the defendant.

And she's 'the defendant' because...?
"The defendant finally lost her temper with him, snatched a knife and chased him. She returned to her flat and he came back and he was stabbed in the doorway in the chest.
"He used his own mobile phone to contact the emergency services. It was plain that he was losing a great deal of blood. He was clear he did not support a prosecution of the defendant. He said she was a good woman and a good mother to their children."
Lovely...
at

7 comments:

  1. Anonymous26 July 2012 at 10:53

    "She returned to her flat and he came back and he was stabbed in the doorway in the chest."

    There isn't a doorway in MY chest.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Fidel Cuntstruck26 July 2012 at 10:59

    You've really got to hand it to the Chavs, for all that we deride them, the entertainment value they provide is matchless.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Robert the Biker26 July 2012 at 12:45

    Trying hard * must* not *laugh

    Bwaaaahahahahahahah

    More sympathy for her than him, truth to tell.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hogdayafternoon26 July 2012 at 13:40

    A drunken woman returning from a booze-up with her mates thought it would be fun to run up to my daughters front door and knock on it, then run away. Hilarious, except that the pisshead tripped up and stuck her arm through the glass panel and severed an artery. Local police traced her (blood trail helped, so no forensic magic here) but as she was unemployed (or maybe unemployable) they felt it pointless to actually prosecute her. So did my daughter.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous26 July 2012 at 16:10

    "he was stabbed..."

    Note the use of the passive voice. Almost as good an indicator of membership of the criminal classes as a tattoo.

    ReplyDelete
  6. David Gillies26 July 2012 at 17:42

    Anon, I noticed that too. Another classic one is "aged 17 and unemployed, Jade found herself pregnant."

    ReplyDelete
  7. JuliaM27 July 2012 at 05:36

    "There isn't a doorway in MY chest."

    :D

    "You've really got to hand it to the Chavs, for all that we deride them, the entertainment value they provide is matchless."

    This is very true!

    " Hilarious, except that the pisshead tripped up and stuck her arm through the glass panel and severed an artery."

    It's a wonder they can breed faster than the attrition rate, isn't it?

    " Another classic one is "aged 17 and unemployed, Jade found herself pregnant.""

    As you do...

    ReplyDelete