The often voiced opinion among youngsters that old people do not have sex is a myth, according to a Croydon councillor.
But Councillor Maggie Mansell warned this week that the new age of sexually active 60-plus year olds brought with them a range of problems.I really, genuinely shudder to think!
She told the Advertiser: "The over 60s are fitter and more active than previous generations.
"They started their sex lives after the pill and before Aids and did not get used to using condoms."Well, it’s not surprising, is it, with those tiny fiddly buttons, it’s a bit of a …
Wait. Maybe I’m thinking about mobile phones or TV remotes?
Cllr Mansell said she would be approaching Croydon's public health department, with the idea of producing a 'Sex Over 60' leaflet which could be made available through GP surgeries and pharmacies outlining the possible dangers.Who wouldn’t love to get the gig designing that?!
And she is urging public health officials and the council to get behind a publicity drive, to make older people aware that more casual sex will lead to a rise in STDs.It really needs a catchy slogan. But what? Answers on a postcard!
But I shouldn't mock. Is it a burning issue?
Kate Woollcombe, Croydon acting director of public health, said she was aware that nationally, STD figures among the over 60s were rising. She said: "We don't have any evidence to suggest it is an issue in Croydon but I am happy to consider a local health promotion campaign if it is appropriate."*orders popcorn*
The phrase 'some things are none of your business.' popped into my head at some point.
ReplyDeleteBut they probably think that everything is their business.
And it's not as if they don't have
better things to do.
wtf? I am a doctor and I once had a 80-year-old request Viagra. Yeah, it's true that the number of older people who admit to having sex has increased, but they're only having sex with their husbands/wives. I'm sure there is some infidelity, but so far I have not seen an STI in anyone over 60.
ReplyDeleteIsn't STD what did Mrs Blenkinsop at the post office switchboard out of a job? Something to do with that new-fangled telephone system?
ReplyDeleteDirty old folk, unable to control carnal lust should for the protection of all, trigger the klaxons of impending legislature.
ReplyDeleteSurely some private member (in the Parliamentarian sense, Julia) could cobble a Bill proposing a new age limit for sexual consent. The government should protect anyone outside the age range of 21 to 60 making prescribed sexual activities, outside the range, Statutory Rape.
Yet the more I think about it, Islamic sexual jurisprudence has all the answers. We must cover up our own womenfolk and exercise chastity....except during holiday breaks to Thailand where infidel natives could be groomed and fecundated from the cradle upwards, with impunity.
Anon @ 09.53
ReplyDeletePerhaps it's just Croydon, then - after all, the current generation must have inherited it from somewhere...
'Croydon has the highest number of repeat abortions in the UK'
(Croydon Advertiser, 01/02/12, as quoted here at the time)
Yes, they could get the local WI to organise lectures and workshops (with tea, biscuits and raffle of course).
ReplyDeleteWell, I wanna know why I'm not getting my fair share!
ReplyDeleteJust to warn, reading further may require mind bleach...
ReplyDeleteAnyway, the XGF's gran, late 80's, was always bragging in lurid detail about her S&M related antics and probably still is. Well played, IMO.
As Louise says, above, none of their business, not that that will stop them...
I claim copyright on 'GILF'
ReplyDeleteI'd leave a comment, Julia, but the OldieShags app on my Android phone (damn those fiddly touchscreens!) has just alerted me to a senior dogging event on Plumstead Common this arvo.
ReplyDeleteBut thanks for the post, anyway. It's reminded me to check with my lady partners if they've been through the menopause. One doesn't want any "accidents", does one?
I'm sure some of the over-60s—that subgroup that is also over-80s, perhaps—aren't used to condoms and STDs, but it's important to do the maths here.
ReplyDeletePeople in their 60s today were raising teenagers in the 1980s at the height of the AIDS scare. It's so freaking patronising to assume that they aren't familiar with the risks of unprotected sex, even though they must have taught those risks to their children. My dad is 67 and seriously, he's not a dumbass about these risks just because he was at uni during the Summer of Love.
Attitudes toward older people can be so insulting.
Well that brings a whole new meaning to "Fifty Shades of Grey"!
ReplyDeleteMeet Maggie Mansell, Marauding Moron of the Month.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.croydon.gov.uk/democracy/elected/allcouncillors/36
One of the benefits of having FA to do means that you can concoct any hokum that you wish, and it's not a waste of your time, since time is not a precious commodity.
The template looks like this:
I: There is a problem
II: The problem is worsening
III: Something must be done
IV: Praise me for my wisdom and foresight
The sheer effrontery of believing that people over sixty don't know what VD is, the dearth of any data to substantiate these baseless and hysterical claims, and the intention to waste money and resources to flick her SMBD bean fit very nicely, don't they?
"It'll come in large print"
ReplyDeleteFnaar! Fnaar!
20R, very true, but you didn't mention section 2 of the template; the one that goes:
ReplyDeleteI: predicted crisis entirely fails to materialise
II: Praise me for my wisdom and foresight (as above) for averting said crisis
Those with a keen eye for the eccentric might remember that one David Icke toiled to the top of various mountains around the globe to recharge the Earth's cosmic chakras and prevent global disaster. Perhaps someone could persuade Ms Mansell to undertake a similar public-spirited duty.
Old sayings updated for the New Millenium:
ReplyDelete1) Don't Try Teach Your Grandma How To Suck .....
It'll come in large print.
ReplyDeleteFnarr! Fnarr!"
You'd be laughing the other side of your face (whatever that means) if you had to pass 24pt capitals through your urethra. It's the serifs that really hurt.
Edwin G.
You'd be laughing the other side of your face (whatever that means) if you had to pass 24pt capitals through your urethra. It's the serifs that really hurt.
ReplyDeleteI shot the serif?
Oh come on... anyone making it to (or in?) their 60's has pretty proven they're able to navigate life's nasty little surprises.
ReplyDeleteStill, I'm sure a few oldies will be happy to invite round a man from the council to guide their next session... I know I will ;-)
"...but they're only having sex with their husbands/wives. "
ReplyDeleteThere has to be some 'seepage' (if that's not the wrong term to use)?
All those bridge clubs can't just be for playing bridge..? ;)
"Well, I wanna know why I'm not getting my fair share!"
Would it be worth moving to Croydon..? ;)
"I claim copyright on 'GILF'"
Pretty sure Wayne Rooney beat you to it!
"People in their 60s today were raising teenagers in the 1980s at the height of the AIDS scare. It's so freaking patronising to assume that they aren't familiar with the risks of unprotected sex..."
Patronising is so many of these fringe 'care' practitioners middle names!
"Well that brings a whole new meaning to "Fifty Shades of Grey"!"
ReplyDeleteLOL!
"Those with a keen eye for the eccentric might remember that one David Icke toiled to the top of various mountains around the globe to recharge the Earth's cosmic chakras and prevent global disaster."
Ah, but there's a lot of people now claiming he was bang on (sorry!) about Jimmy Savile...
"It's the serifs that really hurt."
:D
It may turn out to be a horrible modern version of the Emperor's New Clothes that Icke's allegations were dismissed along with his dire warnings about shape-shifting lizards and planetary chakras.
ReplyDelete'Even a stopped clock gives the right time twice a day...'
Just Googled up a picture of Maggie Mansell.. no thanks, no thanks..
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteIsn't STD what did Mrs Blenkinsop at the post office switchboard out of a job? Something to do with that new-fangled telephone system?
ReplyDeleteYou must mean "Subscriber Trunk Dialling". Later innovations included ISDN, or (as some wag coined it) "Innovations Subscribers Don't Need"
As for oldies having sex, one of the Mail travel writers reported from St Helena, where a 200 year old tortoise is still "having fun" with much younger examples!
Cue the theme music from One Foot In The Grave...
The phrase 'surely they have more important things to worry about in Croydon' popped into my head on reading this drivel. Obviously a couple of 'elder sex outreach workers' need funding plus the leaflets, booklets and posters in 73 languages. More GP time wasted etc etc etc
ReplyDeleteAt least there will be far fewer unwanted pregnancies as a result of casual over-sixties sex.
ReplyDeleteThat's if there is such a thing as "casual sex for the over sixties"
I mean, so much planning is needed....painkillers for the bad back, put the falsies in the glass (teeth.....)...
John
Over-sexed and over sixty. Wear a rain coat.
ReplyDeleteClap epidemic among the crumblies: "is it a burning issue?" You have a way with words, Julia!
ReplyDelete