Tell Me, Mark...

...are you still puzzled about this today? If you ever were puzzled, of course  and asking a genuine question. I like others, have my doubts.

It seems the capital isn't such a welcoming place any more, except to work in, of course. And not just for those unable to handle themselves, either:

Mr Kyei-Baffour was on leave and had been out drinking with three friends, the Old Bailey heard. His group tried to chat up some women outside the Cape Bar opposite Wood Street police station, one of whom was Jasmine Nassif, 21, girlfriend of 22-year-old Ismail Francis.

Prosecutor Christopher Hehir said that as Francis made it clear he did not like the group talking to his girlfriend, five other men became involved and police intervened and moved people along.

The soldier and his friends went back to their BMW but as they drove off they passed Francis and Nassif getting into their Vauxhall Astra. Words and gestures were exchanged and Mr Kyei-Baffour and his friends got out of their car, the court heard.

The other men involved in the initial exchange stopped the two cabs they were riding in so they could join the attack.

Nassif took a baseball bat from the Astra boot and handed it to Francis who used it to attack Mr Kyei-Baffour and his friends, the court heard. Nassif was also seen hurling a bottle from the boot.

Mr Kyei-Baffour, who was stabbed early in the attack, was also hit with the baseball bat by Colin Mbagwu, 27, as he got back into his car.

The two minicabs from Addison Lee waited as the violence unfolded in Gresham Street. One of the drivers was told to leave and when he refused he was asked: “Do you want to get stabbed too?”

Lovely, I'm sure you'll agree?

City of London Police Commander Wayne Chance said: “We will not tolerate this kind of violent behaviour.

“Anyone coming to the City of London with the intention of being violent should know that they will be dealt with so that those wishing to enjoy the vibrant nightlife in the City can do so without fear.”

Ummm, yes. I think, though, that's becoming a little too vibrant for some, if you know what I mean, and I think you do.

So it's no wonder people are moving out into the relatively safer suburbs.

Oh! Wait...

A father had a piece of flesh bitten from his hand by a man who jumped the queue in a chip shop.

Shane, 25, who is too frightened to give his surname, spoke of his ordeal in an appeal for witnesses to help track down his attacker.

“We were waiting to be served and this bloke came in and pushed in front of my girlfriend,” he said. “She said, ‘Excuse me, you jumped the queue.’ I just thought that he would be a gentleman, like any normal person, and say, ‘Sorry, you go first’.

“But he got really aggressive really quickly. I asked him not to speak to her like that, but he pushed me over, sat on top of me and bit the top of my finger off and then a chunk out of the palm of my hand. It was unbelievably painful.”

The man then dragged Shane outside the Station Fish and Kebab Bar in South Street, Romford, and into the crowded street, where no one came to help him.

He said: “He was still on top of me and in the struggle my hand was in the road and a bus ran over it. He was some sort of animal.”

The 10-minute attack ended when the man fled, apparently on a bus, laughing and waving.

Hmmm. An animal..?

Police appealed for witnesses to the attack at 2.10am on Saturday, February 2 by a black man who was six feet tall.

Ah. I see. Well, when the courts catch up with him, I'm sure his peers will lay down some punishment from the jury box. Or not...

And by the way, where do you think Mark Easton lives?