Sunday, 10 March 2013

Should Have His Nose Rubbed In It...

...it's the only way he'll learn:
The homeowner has complained to Malvern Hills District Council after he discovered the binman’s excrement and soiled toilet roll blowing down the driveway outside his home in Ryall, near Upton.
The binman has admitted fouling the man’s drive and although he has been disciplined, council leaders say he will keep his job.
No Christmas box for him, though!
Ivor Pumfrey, head of community services at Malvern Hills District Council, said: “As soon as the incident was reported to us we accepted full responsibility and took immediate action. The member of staff has been disciplined.
“The council has specific practices in place to ensure this sort of event does not happen...
I...

What?!

I've got staff. Never, ever have I had the need to write instructions not to just crap anywhere they damn well please into their job description! But then I don't work for a local council...

H/T: @facistCOW and @IvorGrumble via Twitter

8 comments:

  1. "The council has specific practices in place to ensure this sort of event does not happen..."

    No Shit...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Twenty_Rothmans10 March 2013 at 14:42

    Malvern Hills District Council

    Anti-Dumping Workshop, 18/3/13

    0800: Registration, coffee or cod liver oil
    0830: Welcome to attendees by Di O'Rea, chairwoman
    0900: Alex Bill, Operations manager: "I'm always wiping up someone else's mess"
    1030: Comfort break
    1100: Ivor Pumpedup, head of community services "How to use terms such as 'action' and 'specific practices' to imply that you are actually doing something"
    1230: Lunch - Choice of tortoise head or vindaloo main and prune sorbet pudding
    1400: Rusty Waters, Bowater-Scott PLC: "Always having the right paperwork to hand"
    1500: Comfort break
    1530: Breakout sessions -group cloth touching and we hope to catch a glimpse of Mr Brown at the window.
    1730: Dinner - Choice of Blind Mullet or Bangers and Mash

    ReplyDelete
  3. The perils of binman school multi-choice entry exam questions.

    You are part of a mobile garbage compactor team. Do you:

    a) Collect refuse, take a dump.

    b) Collect refuse, take to dump.

    Perhaps binman training should come with idiot-proof diagrams.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ooooh missus, the whiff of scandal!

    ... and soiled toilet roll blowing down the driveway outside his home in Ryall

    Mmmmm going equipped. Which begs the question; if said illegal dumper had the prescience of mind to take his double quilted velvet why didn't he use his time to do his business in a more appropriate place?

    And. Of course the employee wasn't dismissed/suspended. He'd have gone running to his union claiming medical emergency, duty of care, lack of facilities and unfair dismissal. The council knows this so they wash their hands of the matter and leave the houseowner in the sh1t... I mean, he only pays the council's bills, if he refuses, they'll simply haul his ass into court.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Just what exactly do you have to do to get fired by the council? Criticise them?

    ReplyDelete
  6. "The council has specific practices in place to ensure this sort of event does not happen...

    Please, someone, FOI request !

    Ooh ooh and ask 'em what how the need for such "specific practices" to be put in place ever came about in the first place.

    Did someone shit on the mayor's desk ? Did orders for underlings come about as a direct result of transgressions in the upper ranks ?

    Why oh why have the council spent taxpayers money drawing up special rules for their employees on matters faecal ?

    We have a right to know...post links !

    ReplyDelete
  7. "The perils of binman school multi-choice entry exam questions."

    LOL!

    "Just what exactly do you have to do to get fired by the council? Criticise them?"

    And they'll evict you too!

    "Please, someone, FOI request !"

    Oh, indeed!

    ReplyDelete
  8. XX Never, ever have I had the need to write instructions not to just crap anywhere they damn well please into their job description! But then I don't work for a local council...XX

    A local council, that first closes all the public bogs, and then wonders why their workers must shit in the street??

    ReplyDelete