Sometimes Only Verbatim Will Do...

Some local newspapers like to come up with a snappy headline, and some... don't:

Well, how could you improve on that?

Kent Police’s DS Simon Barnes has reviewed CCTV footage...

This requires the attention of a DS..?!

DS Barnes said: “No-one was significantly injured...

Errrr, no-one was injured AT ALL....

H/T: Martin Thornton via email