You Chose To Climb Aboard That Tiger, Heather...

...so don't expect sympathy when you find it's eyeing you up and licking its chops:

She told the Echo she had "plenty to say" in response to her own father's stinging claims that she was "lazy".

But she said she would not air her thoughts publicly and added: "I just want it all to stop now, it's gone far enough."

 Perhaps you should have thought of that beforehand?

In an interview with the Daily Mirror, Heather said: "A mass murderer wouldn't get as much attention as I'm getting. One bloke said on Facebook he wanted to put all my kids in a house and gas them. It's just sickening."

 I fully agree. If the house is made airtight, there's no need to waste valuable gas...

She added: "I'm not prepared to say how much I receive (in benefits) – that's my business."

Well, no. We're paying it, so it's our business.

"But I run out of money every week. Luckily I've got a good mum who bails me out."

 Does she have her own gold mine?

"I usually spend £250 a week on food. We have everything large – Iceland do family meals.

My kids eat anything – bangers and mash, lasagne, spaghetti, and we always have a full Sunday roast.

"I go to Primark for the kids' clothes, but if people give me second-hand ones I will gladly take them. I'll take anything off anybody."

Well, yes. That is, after all, the point. Isn't it?