The Mysterious Case Of The Riot In The High Street…

Remember this news item? The one with the rather hilarious details?

Well, who’s laughing now?

Calvin Fairweather of Barrow Road, Streatham, was due to stand trial accused of two counts of inflicting grievous bodily harm, but the Crown Prosecution Service offered no evidence, when he appeared at Croydon Crown Court on Wednesday. Prosecutors alleged Mr Fairweather was identified on CCTV carrying a machete.

But the Crown Prosecution Service decided there was insufficient evidence to pursue a conviction.

Remind me again - what does 'CPS' stand for? 'Couldn't Prosecute Satan' is about the kindest I've heard...

Five men were taken to hospital suffering stab wounds after an incident outside J & J Halal Butcher on High Street, Thornton Heath.

 And we're so hot on knufe crime! Not...

Fairweather pleaded guilty to a new charge of affray in connection to the same incident at about 5pm on Saturday, June 2 last year. He admitted hurling an egg at a cashier during a row in the shop

He was told by Judge Jeremy Gold, he would not face an immediate custodial sentence.

 *sighs*

Judge Gold said: "I don't regard this as a case for immediate custody, but I want to investigate other alternatives apart from community penalties that will address any difficulties he has in keeping his temper.

"You have had the good sense to plead guilty to a lesser offence at the first opportunity. I am adjourning the case for a pre-sentence report to investigate a little more about your background."

But not too much, eh? Because 'background' might turn into a bit of a minefield...