The story then developed further when it was revealed it took not two, but four shots to bring down the rampaging
And then the resultant mocking publicity caused the PR department to step in, and that's when things really got hilarious:
Lincolnshire Police have issued a further statement try to address some concerns raised by the public after they shot a cow on the loose in Grantham.*settles in with popcorn*
"The animal's presence in a residential area posed a serious risk to safety. A significant amount of resources were committed to containing the animal."Yes. Perhaps too many? There's a reason why when tracking big game, hunters go alone or with one buddy, not with a cavalcade of cars and flashing lights.
"The intention was to safely remove the animal from the area without destroying it if at all possible."Very noble aim...
"After more than two hours of working towards this aim, it became apparent that it was not achievable. Several options, including sedation, were considered. The RSPCA and the owner of the animal were consulted."Did you consider the sedation for the cow, or your overly excitable officers?
"As more members of the public turned up to watch the incident, prompted by online commentary on the situation, the animal became increasingly distressed and there were fears that it would jump further fences and re-enter a residential area."Oh, I see! It was the public that did it! They were watching you & you got performance anxiety?
And that bloody Internet! It's a menace, isn't it?
"Reports that some shots missed the animal are incorrect. Four shots were fired and all hit their target."Yes, and that's not reassuring, actually - either your 'markman' isn't aware of where to place a killing shot or you are using the wrong weapons for the job. Not that the RSPCA will query anything...
"This is a rural county and we deal with dozens of similar incidents every year without them ending in the death of the animal."So...you need to shoot more cows to get better at it?
Difficult situation that it was, I'm relieved to hear that no Officers were harmed by protruding kerbstones.
ReplyDeleteThey are not going to just shoot cows. Humans will replace cows. Seems that the human race with little material wealth has no meaning other than to work for nothing for greedy bastards.
ReplyDeleteOh, talking of greedy bastards, he states "The best way out of poverty is to get a secure job." Where are these secure jobs? You've made them all unsecure with your misleading and deceitful contracts that you advise employers to adopt so they can make people work for nothing.
The other greedy bastard says "we will make work pay." Oh yes. That old chestnut. You get people to work for benefits and reward them with what you see as free housing and keep them in a communist regime while you reap the rewards.
Aren't you guys such clever people that no one can work you out.........
Brilliant. Thank you for cheering me up although I do feel sorry for the poor cow. I remember one escaping where I live a few years ago. Half a dozen of us left the pub and herded her back into her field. It wasn't hard and we didn't use guns even though she was one of the scarey Highland types with big pointy things at one end.
ReplyDelete"The animal's presence in a residential area posed a serious risk to safety..."
ReplyDeleteDarn tooting. Those bovines are notorious for taking hostages!
You can just imagine the scene though. A little corner of Lincolnshire turned into a Blues Brother's car chase recreation. An observer might wonder which was riskier. The cops racing around with guns and fast cars... or some prime rib sauntering down the lane eating roadside Daffs?
Remarkable cow the Belgian Blue... beautiful plumage. Are we sure it's dead though? Could just be resting.
ReplyDeleteArdaric
Well, it's about as reliable as the local PCC's crime plan.
ReplyDelete'It's all available to view online @...... police'. Yet you click on the link and it says exactly the same thing it did on twitter. You click on something else and it sends you back to the original link.
Yeah, cool police crime plan....
And this is how they say they are going to make sure the public stay safer? Idiots.
Feral.
Shame it wasn't a Norwegian Blue.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful plumage, the Belgian Blue...
ReplyDeleteThis cow wouldn't voom if you put 4 million volts through it - it's bleeding demised!
Are the Cow's family being supported by "specially trained Officers" I wonder?
ReplyDeleteA rather convincing demonstration of pigs being no more intelligent than cows.
ReplyDeleteI sure hope that newspaper article is picked up and run by newspapers in places like Montana, Wyoming, or the Dakotas. Their readers will laugh their asses off so hard they'll be rolling on the floor. After the long and brutal winter those folks had to live through this year they need some brightening up. (They'd have to make sure it isn't run on April 1st or else their readers will think it's an April fools joke.)
ReplyDelete".. I'm relieved to hear that no Officers were harmed by protruding kerbstones."
ReplyDeleteSNORK!
"They are not going to just shoot cows. Humans will replace cows."
Not surte we've got much to worry about...
"Half a dozen of us left the pub and herded her back into her field. "
Ah, the days before H&S risk assessments & ambulance chasing lawyers...
"Their readers will laugh their asses off so hard they'll be rolling on the floor."
Indeed!
And congrats to all the Monty Python fans... ;)
Sad really. 'Minds me of that Eric Blair chap in Burma.
ReplyDelete