Friday 14 June 2013

There’s A Time And Place To Open Your Mouth…

…but in Basildon, they’ve not learned that lesson yet:
Police were out in force on Eastmayne and Felmores, in Basildon, on Wednesday as they carried out the latest in a series of operations in the borough.
Officers were out to snare motorists flouting the law by committing offences such as driving while uninsured and not wearing seatbelts.
Hmmm, agree with the first one (after all, it can have consequences far beyond that initial offence), but the last one shouldn't even be a crime. But, well, it is, and so I suppose the police have to address it wherever they see it.
During the safety drive, police and road safety officers from Essex County Council also carried out a “speedwatch” outside the Willows Primary School in Church Road, Basildon.
Using speed guns they stopped passing motorists caught breaking the limit and drivers were given the chance to receive a £60 fine and three penalty points or be questioned by the children about their poor driving.
I wonder how they have time for this, when they are supposed to be in school learning all those things the teachers think are important?

And do the parents get to consent before their children are used as props in a law enforcement drive? Not that it would matter to some parents:
While outside the school, officers were forced to confront one woman who had parked on the zig-zag lines, which are designed to keep children safe when crossing. But the woman became abusive and began swearing at police, in front of the shocked children.
She has now been summoned to court for parking and public order offences.
Heh! It'll be even funnier if she's the parent of one of the police's Scolding Moppet Squad!

6 comments:

  1. why not place the offenders in some stocks and have the cheeeldren pelt them with rotten fruit and cow dung?

    How bizarre.

    Give a bollocking (informal warning) or of the driver is an arsehoile, give them a ticket

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  2. ... drivers were given the chance to receive a £60 fine and three penalty points or be questioned by the children about their poor driving.

    Or, I assume, be summoned to court whereby you could plead not guilty to committing acts of wilful publicity and the waste of taxpayer funds.

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  3. Twenty_Rothmans14 June 2013 at 17:16

    A rich seam here:
    "Why did you dwive so fast? I's dangewous!"
    "You're a big ploppy pants and I bet you smell like poo. Poo-man poo-man nyah nyah nyah"

    I'll take the children, please, officer! Can I take this one home with me to stop me doing it again?

    I have a better idea:
    drivers were given the chance (sic) to receive a £60 fine and three penalty points or be shown an upskirt photo of Jo Brand.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh I'd take the opportunity of being questioned by the children. It would be a perfect opportunity to explain to them that the police can be stupid too; that, broadly speaking, adults know far more about life than children and that the children are in school to learn not to be used to punish adults etc etc. I think at that point the "public servants" would stop the exercise.

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  5. "Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?"

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  6. The Blocked Dwarf15 June 2013 at 07:05

    I would have blown cigar smoke over the little dears and greeted them with "Now then, now then, now then.."

    -all while waving sweetly at the local news crew covering the event.

    ReplyDelete