How #FiftyShadesofRed Could Become #FiftyShadesofWhite

The Brigade said that in the past its crews have been called to a man whose penis was stuck in a toaster, and another with his manhood trapped in a vacuum cleaner.

I'm afraid I'd be very tempted to step out from the back of the fire engine wielding one of those arc-welding torches and an evil grin...

H/T: Ron Hughes via email