Allotment holders have been told their number is up if they fail to mark their plots correctly.
Beware the council-employed number-marker squads!
Fed up with not being able to find various plots, Brighton and Hove City Council has issued a warning letter to those holders who have not clearly numbered their allocated area.
As a deterrent, officials have said they will “haphazardly daub” electric lime green paint on sheds and posts in any plot which is not properly labelled or numbered.
Well, would we expect anything
less from council employees?
In recent days, a reminder sent out to all allotment holders alongside the annual rent bills said: “Tenants who continue to leave their plots unnumbered run the risk of having their plot numbers painted on the side of any upright object by our maintenance |team.
“We have sourced several pots of paint in a particularly unpleasant shade of electric lime green and plan to begin haphazardly daubing large plot numbers on to unnumbered plots in the New Year.”
That’ll show you! It's one up from The Comfy Chair!
Steve Miller, a site representative at Eastbrook Farm allotments in Portslade, said he felt it was a good idea.
He said: “On some of the larger sites it can be quite difficult to locate various plots.
“If the officers got it wrong on their inspections and sent a notice to the wrong person, then they would probably get quite annoyed.”
And you wouldn't like them when they were quite annoyed…
The BIG question is, why do the plots need to be numbered - after all those using them know where they are.
ReplyDeleteLooking at the picture I would say the council are trying to cover their lack of care of the overall site. In other words a pathetic council that doesn't know what it is doing.
As a deterrent, officials have said they will “haphazardly daub” electric lime green paint on sheds and posts in any plot which is not properly labelled or numbered.
ReplyDeleteOhhhh .. I forsee a lot of popcorn needed for this one :0)
I also forsee several of the Council's officials being liberally daubed in "electric lime green paint" should they happen upon the less compliant of the Allotment holders :0)
Will they be singing "Green Grow The Radishes Ho" as they go about their vital work? The job title of the chap who manages this ought to be an interesting one.
ReplyDelete...run the risk of having their plot numbers painted on the side of any upright object by our maintenance |team.
ReplyDeleteAt which point the allotment people should go to the nearest joke shop, buy up all the inflatable dolls, make them up to look like Caroline Lucas and plant the things upright (head or feet first, doesn't matter) on their plots.
There should be written warnings about reporting the council for criminal damage should any daub paint on the private property of the allotment holders, namely their sheds.
I look forward to residents arming themselves with lime green paint and marking every visible sign of council inefficiency and waste they can find.
ReplyDeleteMake a day of it...take a picnic...fun for the kids etc.
And the irony of their council carefully selecting anything ‘electric’ + ‘green’ would not be lost on the burghers of that town.
ReplyDeleteExcept maybe fluorescent and pink.
I was remarking to a book group that the devil is not a free agent; he is rule-bound but we do not necessarily know what the rules are. It is his ruled-and-ruling nature which makes him a natural for local government and all exercises of petty power.
ReplyDeleteHere, we see him (or her) opting to send an unnecessarily nasty and purposely upsetting letter when all that was needed was a polite explanation of why the council needs the plots to be clearly numbered. It takes a special kind of coward to be snarky with allotment owners; I bet they would not dare threaten to daub the illegally-parked caravans of the Travelling coh-mew-nity.
If I was to rent an allotment from a Council it is up to the Council to demarcate the area which I have rented from them. The land belongs to the Council, they are renting a potion of it to me. It is, therefore, their legal responsibility to delineate and identify that portion for which I am paying rent; it is NOT my responsibility.
ReplyDeleteI wonder how many council execs' live in unnumbered houses? You know, the ones called Dunroamin' or The Old Mill etc?
ReplyDeleteMaybe someone should visit them with a pot of paint and daub "No it isn't, Twat. It's really Number 122".
As for the allotments... do the council not have a map of the plots? I'm sure they'd find one pretty sharpish if someone were to stick in an extra row of carrots causing them stray over the boundary by a centimetre!
Shouldn't these allotments have been labelled by the council already?
ReplyDeleteLocal government was founded on great public service ideals and principles; supported by local benefactors and philanthropists.
ReplyDeleteThe first socialist controllers began its mutation into the grotesque thief it is today, warped by a self-serving plod culture and as much inconvenient as dishonest.
Have the cabbages left the allotments and taken up employment at the council?
ReplyDeleteCongratulations Melvin on turning a post about allotments into another dig at the police.The job of editor at the Daily Mail beckons.
ReplyDeleteJaded
Please be a decent looking stalker, WC Jaded. I am loath to consider the possibility that you are intellectually weak and ugly.
ReplyDeleteIf I had an allotment there, every bit of woodwork would be painted electric lime green already.
ReplyDeleteIt's cheap paint, I am colour blind and have no taste, so all I need is something to stop wood rotting.
As a deterrent, officials have said they will “haphazardly daub” electric lime green paint on sheds and posts in any plot which is not properly labelled or numbered.
ReplyDeleteThe frightening thing is that they really don't see anything out of proportion or insane in this.
Is council work haphazard? I think the right word might be intermittent, but the thinking is surely haphazard.
ReplyDelete"Looking at the picture I would say the council are trying to cover their lack of care of the overall site."
ReplyDeleteWell, it IS Brighton & Hove..!
" The job title of the chap who manages this ought to be an interesting one."
His likely salary wipes the smile off my face though...
"There should be written warnings about reporting the council for criminal damage should any daub paint on the private property of the allotment holders..."
Spot on!
"I look forward to residents arming themselves with lime green paint and marking every visible sign of council inefficiency and waste they can find."
"We're gonna need a bigger paint pot.."
"Except maybe fluorescent and pink."
ReplyDeleteSNORK!
"...when all that was needed was a polite explanation of why the council needs the plots to be clearly numbered."
It's possible they'd already tried that, and got no co-operation from some?
Then, in true council fashion, and to avoid singling anyone out, it's collective punishment time!
"I wonder how many council execs' live in unnumbered houses? You know, the ones called Dunroamin' or The Old Mill etc?
Maybe someone should visit them with a pot of paint and daub "No it isn't, Twat. It's really Number 122". "
I like the way you think... ;)
"Have the cabbages left the allotments and taken up employment at the council?"
Worse, I fear!