I Promise This Is Not A Story From 'The Daily Mash'...

A lottery scratchcard has been withdrawn from sale by Camelot - because players couldn't understand it.

The Cool Cash game - launched on Monday - was but taken out of shops yesterday after some players failed to grasp whether or not they had won.

I know, I know. You're suspicious, aren't you?

To qualify for a prize, users had to scratch away a window to reveal a temperature lower than the figure displayed on each card.

As the game had a winter theme, the temperature was usually below freezing.

But the concept of comparing negative numbers proved too difficult for some Camelot received dozens of complaints on the first day from players who could not understand how, for example, -5 is higher than -6.

Yeah, sure reads like a 'Mash' article, doesn't it?

Tina Farrell, from Levenshulme, called Camelot after failing to win with several cards.

The 23-year-old, who said she had left school without a maths GCSE, said: "On one of my cards it said I had to find temperatures lower than -8. The numbers I uncovered were -6 and -7 so I thought I had won, and so did the woman in the shop. But when she scanned the card the machine said I hadn't.

"I phoned Camelot and they fobbed me off with some story that -6 is higher - not lower - than -8 but I'm not having it.

"I think Camelot are giving people the wrong impression - the card doesn't say to look for a colder or warmer temperature, it says to look for a higher or lower number. Six is a lower number than 8. Imagine how many people have been misled."

Awww, that's it, you cry, 'fess up, Julia! It's the 'Mash', isn't it?

Well, no. It's the Manchester Evening News. And unless they've been suckered, it's all too horribly real.

Frankly, the truculent outrage of Tina Farrell rings all too horribly true,doesn't it? Thicker than a whale sandwich and convinced that it's everyone else that is wrong...

H/T: James Masterton via Twitter