Buckie is what Tracy Meikle was drinking when she stabbed a woman to death, a crime she was jailed for last week. It's the sickly sweet scent I remember on the breath of every angry man in my life before he raised his hand. It's the poisonous green bottles smashed all over the streets of the estate I played on – the evil emeralds I picked out of my knees.It's just a drink. Like a gun is just a tool.
Buckie is a dark brown "tonic wine" brewed by Benedictine monks in Devon. Their recipe is secret but basically it's wine jacked up with chemicals and some of the condensed rage from 28 Days Later.Really? I mean, is that on the label? If so, I think the ASA might want to have a word...
And is it really that strong? Well, no. As Leg-Iron pointed out, it's the caffeine that is the target of the ire:
…Buckie is only about 15% alcohol. But the alcohol content isn't the problem. It's not the strongest or (at about £7 a bottle) the cheapest. But it is the most lethal. Each bottle contains around eight times the caffeine of a can of coke. Drop-for-drop, it has got more caffeine than Red Bull. It doesn't get you drunk: it gets you high.*nonplussed*
The monks, who just bought a new roof for one of their idyllic abbey's guest houses, have thoughtfully added this caution: "The name 'tonic wine' does not imply health-giving or medicinal properties." But in 1976 my pregnant mum was actually prescribed Buckie by her doctor. He told her: "It'll build you up." Luckily for me, floating inside her at the time, she declined his advice.Go back far enough, you can find doctors who'd recommend smoking for dieting, or ingesting tapeworms. So what?
Yes, people choose to drink it, but …Ah. No 'but' needed there.
The monks get a royalty for every bottle and last year made more than £6m. Their Abbot, David Charlesworth, claims to be upset by the Buckfast Triangle. "I don't want Buckfast Abbey to be associated with broken bottles and drunks," he says. "But is the product bad? No."
That's like Kalashnikov feeling sad about the way his rifles are used. It is unholy water.No. It's just a drink.
A guide for the connoisseur of "economy wines" can be found below.......
ReplyDeletehttp://www.bumwine.com/
It's an open goal for The Guardian, no? A chance to control people, ban something, hand-wring, wag fingers about booze, be self-righteous about a social problem (without having to live anywhere near chavs and scumbags) and stick it to the Catholic Church.
ReplyDeleteHow could they resist?
Back in the 80s, us southern Students/Benefit Scroungers used to get hammered on cheap cider or Yellow Label Vermouth. Father's name? Merrydown.
ReplyDeleteThen I moved up to Scotland and discovered no one, no MAN, would be seen dead drinking a girlie thing like cider. Buckfast, Carlsy Speeshul, Tennants Super were what 'reel' men drank.
Don't recall there being much different in the effects-physical or social. Pennywell Gardens was as much a shite hole as any London estate. Probably as many Scots kids these days thinking they were named after David Tennant as there are southern princesses called 'Chardonnay' or 'Lambrusco'.
People drink. People drink and do really stupid things that can ruin their lives. What they drink doesn't, IMO, make much difference. Waking up in a pool of Carlsy Special Bru+"fish supper" vomit differs little from waking up in a pool of Merrydown + Kebab vomit...although my mate with the Dry Cleaners might disagree on the finer technical points.
That said, there is a special ring of Hell reserved for those who get wasted on Buckfast...a level of purgatory known as The BuckFast Hangover. Take my word on this one.
'the evil emeralds'
ReplyDeleteNow they were a good band. I stil remember their first number one:
'I'm gonna stick my bottle of Buckfast up a Guardian reader's arse'
Always got the party going.
I prefer Drew, no not Drew, something else Barrymore's version. Made the papers, though.
DeleteXX
ReplyDeleteThen I moved up to Scotland and discovered no one, no MAN, would be seen dead drinking a girlie thing like cider. Buckfast, Carlsy Speeshul, Tennants Super were what 'reel' men drank.XX
BD, I don't know when or where that was, but I can assure you, "White lightning," or "White star." (Which PUPORT to be ciders), mixed with Special brew and/or Buckies, is THE drink around the schemes of West and mid Lothian.
Liverpool use their version of "White lightning" plus Yates "Ozzy white."
XX That's like Kalashnikov feeling sad about the way his rifles are used.XX
ReplyDeleteThat would be a bit difficult.
He is dead.
And they are NOR RIFLES!
XX Greencoat said...
ReplyDelete'the evil emeralds' XX
The first record that got me into decent music;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sLkyEAA7ers
Thin Lizzy; EMERALD. :-D
I have yet to try Buckfast. Wine with coffee in it doesn't appeal.
ReplyDeleteA few years back, the Righteous tried to get Buckfast to apologise for their wine and to adjust the recipe to comply with Righteous controls.
Buckfast's reply would be loosely translated as "See you pal, fuck right off or ye're deid."
I've been waiting for the Righteous to gather the courage to try again. Took them a while.
"It's an open goal for The Guardian, no?"
ReplyDeleteIndeed!
"Probably as many Scots kids these days thinking they were named after David Tennant as there are southern princesses called 'Chardonnay' or 'Lambrusco'."
LOL!
"Wine with coffee in it doesn't appeal."
And yet, Tia Maria and Kaluha sell quite well!