But but... cyclists are godlike figures and always in the right, didn't you get the memo? Must have been one of those Ninja trucks that suddenly leapt out on him!
The muppet police closed Lambeth Palace Road for, "a few hours" because of this! Ten minutes should suffice to pick up a bike and cyclist - almost all other countries get traffic moving as soon as possible after a collision. But not in this septic isle: if nothing else, it demonstrates the police are out of control and have a vendetta against car drivers.
What a very nasty response to this story of an accident, by you Julia and your commenters. Some of the things you post are both illuminating and funny, but to enjoy this cyclist's serious accident shows a level of malice that is truly shocking.
I must say I agree with anonymous (2 June 2014 21:55). Most of your writing is incisive and witty but to take pleasure in somebody suffering "life changing" injuries is not funny. Do you have something against cyclists or would you take the same pleasure in a car driver running into a stationary AA van?
Julia was cruising in her 4x4 when she came across PC Pickled staggering out of his overturned panda. Feeling it was her duty, she stopped to give plod a lift. Her next encounter was a detested cyclist...and she was unable to resist driving straight at him.
At the last second, she was mindful of her drunk passenger and realised she couldn't squish her prey, so she swerved but heard a thump anyway. Looking in her mirror as she drove on, she saw nothing. Julia's conduct made her panic and she began to apologise to PC Pickled. "I am so sorry, constable. I barely missed that nice young cyclist on the nearside." "No probsh, luv. Got 'im wimme door."
Melvin,I bet when you write stuff like that "joke"you think you are hilarious,when the rest of us just cringe with embarrassment. Are you related to Ann Barnes the Kent PCC? Jaded
"If the dip shit was paying such little care and attention he deserves everything he gets, including the standing applause."
Actually, he was riding along when a woman stepped into the road directly in his path. He collided with the van in attempting to avoid hitting her. Do you still believe he deserves everything he got?
By the way, you might ask how I know it happened like that. The same way you know he was a dip shit who wasn't paying attention, I made it up.
"If the dip shit was paying such little care and attention he deserves everything he gets, including the standing applause."
Actually, he was riding along when a woman stepped into the road directly in his path. He collided with the van in attempting to avoid hitting her. Do you still believe he deserves everything he got? XX
Yes.
But in the case above the van was partked.
Also ANYone riding a push bike is by default, a dip shit.
FT is a classic case of pain in the arse. He once suffered the appalling cycling trauma of saddle/post penetration with permanent anal dilation...if you really must know. We could accommodate his resentment by imagining his loss of dignity, being 'stuck' in casualty for a full day. Yet only he has the true measure of humiliation when later in theatre, surgeons retrieved rectal bonuses. These included a 1952 copy of 'Der Grüffelo' and a 1939 Hitler Youth Taschenlampe.
Titter ye not at cycling's great dipshit consequences for FT.
But the ones that cycle like maniacs (especially the twat speeding through the Euston junction against the lights & screaming at pedestrians to get out of his way that I had the misfortune to encounter on Wednesday) should all meet the same fate.
As should the moronic campaigners that argue cyclists are never at fault, collisions are always the fault of the motorist...
But the ones that cycle like maniacs (especially the twat speeding through the Euston junction against the lights & screaming at pedestrians to get out of his way that I had the misfortune to encounter on Wednesday) should all meet the same fate.
As should the moronic campaigners that argue cyclists are never at fault, collisions are always the fault of the motorist...
Fantastic spot - thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteHelmet? I wonder?
But but... cyclists are godlike figures and always in the right, didn't you get the memo?
ReplyDeleteMust have been one of those Ninja trucks that suddenly leapt out on him!
Head injury.
ReplyDeleteNo harm done,then.
I can see you smiling at the irony.
ReplyDeleteThe muppet police closed Lambeth Palace Road for, "a few hours" because of this! Ten minutes should suffice to pick up a bike and cyclist - almost all other countries get traffic moving as soon as possible after a collision. But not in this septic isle: if nothing else, it demonstrates the police are out of control and have a vendetta against car drivers.
ReplyDeleteThis could only get better if he was riding a Boris bike at the time of the crash.
ReplyDeleteWhat a very nasty response to this story of an accident, by you Julia and your commenters.
ReplyDeleteSome of the things you post are both illuminating and funny, but to enjoy this cyclist's serious accident shows a level of malice that is truly shocking.
I'm trying really hard not to laugh.
ReplyDeleteI really am.
Mpppphhh!
Bwahahahahahhahaha.
Sorry.
Sick sense of humour, some folk.
ReplyDeleteHere's another bunch to raise some hackles (if one's permitted "hackles"):-
http://www.newsbiscuit.com/
How....unfortunate.... SNORRRTTTT!
ReplyDeleteI must say I agree with anonymous (2 June 2014 21:55). Most of your writing is incisive and witty but to take pleasure in somebody suffering "life changing" injuries is not funny. Do you have something against cyclists or would you take the same pleasure in a car driver running into a stationary AA van?
ReplyDeleteDear Frank, Schadenfreude is a way of dealing with tough events.
ReplyDeleteAnd I've got nothing against cyclists (except the back of my van)
XX Do you have something against cyclists or would you take the same pleasure in a car driver running into a stationary AA van?XX
ReplyDeleteYes, actualy.
If the dip shit was paying such little care and attention he deserves everything he gets, including the standing applause.
Julia was cruising in her 4x4 when she came across PC Pickled staggering out of his overturned panda. Feeling it was her duty, she stopped to give plod a lift. Her next encounter was a detested cyclist...and she was unable to resist driving straight at him.
ReplyDeleteAt the last second, she was mindful of her drunk passenger and realised she couldn't squish her prey, so she swerved but heard a thump anyway. Looking in her mirror as she drove on, she saw nothing.
Julia's conduct made her panic and she began to apologise to PC Pickled. "I am so sorry, constable. I barely missed that nice young cyclist on the nearside."
"No probsh, luv. Got 'im wimme door."
Melvin,I bet when you write stuff like that "joke"you think you are hilarious,when the rest of us just cringe with embarrassment.
ReplyDeleteAre you related to Ann Barnes the Kent PCC?
Jaded
Must be a typo - this says the CCTV shows a sainted cyclit was at fault
ReplyDeletehttp://www.standard.co.uk/news/london/second-cyclist-killed-in-crossrail-lorry-collision-9478034.html
@ Furor Teutonicus
ReplyDelete"If the dip shit was paying such little care and attention he deserves everything he gets, including the standing applause."
Actually, he was riding along when a woman stepped into the road directly in his path. He collided with the van in attempting to avoid hitting her. Do you still believe he deserves everything he got?
By the way, you might ask how I know it happened like that. The same way you know he was a dip shit who wasn't paying attention, I made it up.
XX Frank said...
ReplyDelete@ Furor Teutonicus
"If the dip shit was paying such little care and attention he deserves everything he gets, including the standing applause."
Actually, he was riding along when a woman stepped into the road directly in his path. He collided with the van in attempting to avoid hitting her. Do you still believe he deserves everything he got? XX
Yes.
But in the case above the van was partked.
Also ANYone riding a push bike is by default, a dip shit.
Dear Frank,
ReplyDeleteFT is a classic case of pain in the arse. He once suffered the appalling cycling trauma of saddle/post penetration with permanent anal dilation...if you really must know. We could accommodate his resentment by imagining his loss of dignity, being 'stuck' in casualty for a full day. Yet only he has the true measure of humiliation when later in theatre, surgeons retrieved rectal bonuses. These included a 1952 copy of 'Der Grüffelo' and a 1939 Hitler Youth Taschenlampe.
Titter ye not at cycling's great dipshit consequences for FT.
"Must have been one of those Ninja trucks that suddenly leapt out on him!"
ReplyDelete:D
"The muppet police closed Lambeth Palace Road for, "a few hours" because of this!"
:/
"...to enjoy this cyclist's serious accident shows a level of malice that is truly shocking."
I like to see karma win out. Particularly when it involves the Sainted Two Wheel Brigade.
"Do you have something against cyclists..."
ReplyDeleteThe ones that cycle responsibly, no.
But the ones that cycle like maniacs (especially the twat speeding through the Euston junction against the lights & screaming at pedestrians to get out of his way that I had the misfortune to encounter on Wednesday) should all meet the same fate.
As should the moronic campaigners that argue cyclists are never at fault, collisions are always the fault of the motorist...
"..."No probsh, luv. Got 'im wimme door.""
SNORK!
"But in the case above the van was partked."
QED!
"Do you have something against cyclists..."
ReplyDeleteThe ones that cycle responsibly, no.
But the ones that cycle like maniacs (especially the twat speeding through the Euston junction against the lights & screaming at pedestrians to get out of his way that I had the misfortune to encounter on Wednesday) should all meet the same fate.
As should the moronic campaigners that argue cyclists are never at fault, collisions are always the fault of the motorist...
"..."No probsh, luv. Got 'im wimme door.""
SNORK!
"But in the case above the van was partked."
QED!