Thursday 12 March 2015

I Have A Feeling This Might Backfire...

Police officers in Surbiton have come up with a new wheeze to reassure residents they are on the beat.
Ooooo-kaaaay….
Surbiton Hill officers have begun logging their foot patrols using their phones and posting the maps online. Sergeant Paul Marshall said the idea was to reassure people who might not see an officer on patrol during the day that the bobbies really are out and about.
So, if you see a dog/cat/urban fox/vehicle with a mobile phone duct-taped to it, worry not!
Officers' tracking apps log not only their route - up to six miles - but the number of calories burned, Sgt Marshall said.
Well done, Sgt Marshall. I’m sure that will be looked on favourably for your promotion. The residents would probably prefer you caught some burglars instead, though.

7 comments:

  1. Is it me or can everyone see the floor in this. If the whereabouts of the police is being broadcast to the public, it is also broadcast to the burglar. Very handy to know that said policeman is at the other end of his patch when you commit your crime.

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  2. Correct that to flaw.

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  3. Not to mention the "I say chaps, according to this here app, Constable Flatfoot is approximately 6 miles away, so now would be a good time to burgle the off licence..".

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  4. Kit like belt packs and body armour adds almost two stone to an officer's weight, burning even more calories.
    Plus he/she will not exactly be rushing back to the crime scene carrying an overweight body and two stone of "kit", probably have a problem seeing some old dear across the road.

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  5. " If the whereabouts of the police is being broadcast to the public, it is also broadcast to the burglar. "

    I think it's not real time, but where they have been.

    Even so, patterns, anyone?

    "Kit like belt packs and body armour adds almost two stone to an officer's weight, burning even more calories. "

    The two I saw yesterday in Southend must have been seven stone weaklings once naked!

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  6. I once made the observation that having a couple of wpc's of asian (there's that word again) origin who were about 4'10", looked about 12 and weighing about 6st was probably taking diversity a bit far, once on Gadgets old blog.

    Only to be told by someone that he would rather stand alongside them than a knuckle dragging neanderthal like myself.

    One day I do so hope that he gets his wish..

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