Please Don’t Leave Us All In Suspense!

A jealous husband and his wife are still together after he appeared in court for throwing the dog’s shaving kit at her and she told police he punched and kicked her.

*blinks*

Let me just read this again, because I clearly didn't read it right…

Freddie Hance admitted assaulting his wife when he threw a bag containing the dog’s shaving kit at her which cut her breast.

Oh. OK…

Sentencing, chairman of the bench Mr Bardon said: “Clearly this is a domestic assault which took place in a domestic context, which makes it worse.

“You have taken steps to deal with your issues and it’s very important that you keep that arrangement as it will be beneficial in the relationship with your wife.

“It’s clearly what your partner wanted [to seek help] and it’s a big step you have made.

“Unfortunately, courts cost money and it costs money for you to appear in court.”

He then ordered Mr Hance to pay an £85 fine to the Crown Prosecution Service, criminal court costs of £150 and a victim surcharge of £15.

It was agreed no compensation was to be paid as Mr Hance would effectively be paying himself as he and his wife are still together.

From the dock, the 60-year-old said: “It won’t happen again. Ever.”

So I guess we’ll never get the answer to the burning question: Gillette, or Wilkinson Sword?