A Thoroughly Modern Accident…

The family awaits an MRI scan to determine the extent of any long-term damage, but Ms Cribben said a serious brain injury had been ruled out.

Probably because the poor kid won’t have much brainpower to begin with, given its lineage…

Joshua’s sisters Aaliyah and Destiny, two, have stayed at home as Ms Cribben tends to her son.

Lovely selection of chavnames! And can’t her husband help out with…

Oh. Silly me.

Grandmother Tracy, Ms Cribben’s mother, has started a fundraising page to help cover expenses, including travel for family members between Eastbourne and London to look after the girls.

High tech begging! Truly, the Internet is a remarkable invention, eh?

Ms Cribben asked for her address not to be disclosed, but said she would be complaining about the allegedly faulty window locks that she claims allowed her son so fall from the flat.

Yes, of course it’s the fault of the landlord.

Both the London Ambulance Service and the police confirmed they were called to reports of a child having fallen from a height shortly after 9pm on January 9.

But no-one seems to think a charge of child endangerment might be appropriate?

It's amazing that you can have a child removed for 'not giving him enough cuddles' because you're a little bit dim, yet you can hang onto three despite giving them chavnames and letting them fall out of the window...