Friday 10 June 2016

A Letter To Bernard Hogan-Howe

Dear Bernie,

I'm delighted to hear that you are ready to back people who see crime being committed! May I say that this is a rare chance for me to say something nice about you on this blog, for once. I know we haven't always been in agreement, in fact, I've often had nothing good to say about your reign, but finally, it seems you are on the side of the 'man in the street' (unless he's a Brazilian electrician, of course. But I kid...).

Just one thing, though. Can we have some clarification on just what you mean by 'crime'?

You see, it seems there's a bit of a disconnect here between what the police consider a crime, and what the public would. After all, the public wouldn't normally do much more than shrug and say 'Silly old sod!' if someone decided to have a few sherberts and then sunbathe in a deckchair, but apparently it's a crime and you'll be arrested! Before I pop off to Southend seafront, can I just check if that's only applicable to London? If not, I think you'd better get the paddywagons ready, Bernie - there's thousands of 'em down there!

And the public were absolutely certain that, when they went to help a woman whose dog had sadly died on the street only to be met with abuse & her intent to leave the corpse there and walk away, a crime had been committed, it seems your officers didn't think so.

Still, it's nice to know that I can 'get stuck in' when a burglar breaks into my home and the Met won't arrest me. Unlike Essex plod. Or like the Met used to do.

Yours,

Ambush Predator

5 comments:

  1. "Get stuck in!" Indeed.

    Plod repeatedly asked the burglar I had once apprehended, if he wanted me arrested too. And not just the once, but several times. Responding honourably, he repeatedly told them that I had done nothing (wrong.) It was obvious that plod were motivated to double their arrest tally and place at least one fresh recruit on the DNA database.

    Having been woken in the early hours, I caught the thief as he emerged from my neighbours' bay window; 'swag' stacked neatly nearby. Other neighbours then 'phoned the police from the safety of their homes...but I was left with a struggle on my hands, holding the man down. It is all very well telling citizens to "Get stuck in" but I refuse to perform this civic duty in future...for as long as morons are recruited into this 'service'. And that certainly includes the foul-mouthed morons such as yourself, WC Jaded.

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  2. Ah yes, Plod goes for the old 'we have had complaints' line. Really, who complained? 'We can't tell you that, now get the cuffs on before we taser you.'

    And the filth wonder why they are hated at every level of society. I suspect the main thing my elderly white yokel father would have in common with a young black Londoner is a profound distrust of the police.

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  3. While it is every citizens duty to assist in the continuance of law and order, it is, unfortunately, not recognised by some Police officers. Now out of it for over 12 years, I carried out that citizen's duty a couple of years ago when I witnessed a yob on a bike pull a bag off a lady's shoulder, sending her to the ground, and cycled off - towards me. I was subsequently accused by the local Police of undue force in stopping him by swing my carrier bag of groceries, well, 2 bottles of wine, at him, hitting him in the face and sending him crashing to the ground. UN fortunately, this action knocked me slightly off balance and, as I retrieved the lady's bag, I inadvertently stood on the young man's hand, breaking 3 fingers. In trying to regain my balance, I then stepped on the spokes of each wheel, buckling them irrepairably. The Police wanted to arrest me for assault and criminal damage, even after they had heard my explanation, until I mentioned that unlawful arrest and unlawful detention by them may affect their careers somewhat. I gave them my name and address and told that if they still wished to arrest me after consultation with a senior officer, they knew where to find me. I am still waiting with mot even an acknowledgement or thanks for my actions. The lady (and her husband) were very grateful and treated my wife and to a lovely meal and a night at the theatre with them. I think Bernie two names may come to regret his comment as he is called as a defence witness in future cases of this kind.
    Glad you were able to show the local plod how to do their job, Melv. Keep it up. You may even end up being a Special :-).
    Penseivat

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  4. Of course:- the more "have-a-go" heroes there are, the more easy arrests there are, and the more senior plod can produce obfuscatory statistics...

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  5. " It was obvious that plod were motivated to double their arrest tally and place at least one fresh recruit on the DNA database. "

    The one they repeatedly refuse to cleanse in accordance with EU rulings..?

    "I suspect the main thing my elderly white yokel father would have in common with a young black Londoner is a profound distrust of the police."

    Growing up, there was an innate respect for the police in my social grouping, and those who naturally distrusted them were regarded with suspicion and not a little scorn as 'lowlifes'. How times have now changed, eh?

    "I was subsequently accused by the local Police of undue force in stopping him by swing my carrier bag of groceries, well, 2 bottles of wine, at him, hitting him in the face and sending him crashing to the ground. "

    Jeez..! :/

    Did none of them think 'That could have been my mum/nan/neighbour'..? Is ticking a box all they now care about?

    "...and the more senior plod can produce obfuscatory statistics..."

    Who believes any statistic they trot out now?

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