I Pretty Much Guarantee It...

Seth Collins, mitigating, told the same court on Friday: “He is ashamed and remorseful for stooping so low.”

He said Chambers failed to attend court once because his mother had died.

*rolls eyes*

An excuse so daft only a magistrate could believe it. And so they did!

Alwyn Hollins, chairman of the bench, spared Chambers jail but told him he was in the “last chance saloon”.

Not, I suspect, for the first time!

For all the offences, he ordered Chambers to complete five months of community service, in which he was required to abide by an electronically-monitored curfew. He must also pay £85 court costs, a £85 victim surcharge and £15 to each of the charities.

Tearful Chambers replied: “Thank you so much. You will never see me again.”

Oh yes we will....