"What I want from each and every one of you is a hard-target search of every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse and doghouse ..."

...especially the doghouses!"

A dangerous dog which judges ordered must be destroyed has gone missing in the Kennoway area of Fife.

Did it tunnel out? Dig through the wall, hiding the hole behind a poster of Rita Hayworth?

The dog, which was in the care of Langdyke Boarding Kennels, went missing during a walk in woodland between Langdyke and Bonnybank on Thursday.

Oh, for the love of..!

Kai was already on ‘death row’ in the kennels when judges at Edinburgh’s Sheriff Appeal Court upheld the order made in November last year at Forfar Sheriff Court.

The judges ruled in January that Kai still constituted a danger and must be destroyed.

So why the hell is the thing still alive and being walked in September?!?

Fife Police Division of Police Scotland used Facebook to warn the public of his disappearance.

The post on Friday said: “Although Kai does not belong to a banned breed he is unlikely to have eaten in over 24 hours and may be distressed.

“By way of a precaution we advise that you do not approach if you see him but instead notify police immediately on 101.”

It also said police were trying to reunite the dog with his owner.

Probably some numptie just cut and pasted from another post, but...surely they were trying to reunite him with his appointment with the vet?