The Fragrant Flower Of Modern Femininity...

Chairman of the magistrates Gary Gates gave her a community order for 12 months and ordered her to attend 20 sessions to address alcohol and drug misuse and emotionally aggressive behaviour.

She was also made to pay £50 compensation to each officer. Skinner will also be tagged for eight weeks and must adhere to a strict 8pm to 8am curfew.

Mr Gates said to a smiling Skinner in the dock: “We have gone a long way to help you, grasp the nettle and get on with it.”

Maybe you shouldn't have gone too far, given her crime?

Laura Devitt, prosecuting, told the court: “Skinner shouted at her mum ‘Why did you call the feds you c***?’ and threw a mobile phone at her.

“She then punched PC Haffenden in the face.

“The defendant then headbutted PC Whiteman. Throughout this time she was continuously shouting and being abusive to her mother.”

How lovely! Surely, a finishing school candidate?

Skinner, of Forward Close, South Heighton, pleaded guilty to two counts of assaulting a constable in the execution of his duty, possession of cannabis and using threatening behaviour to cause alarm.

The Plumpton College student, who attended court in jeans and wearing hooped earrings, also pleaded guilty to theft of a £14.99 bottle of vodka from SS Food and Wine in South Road, Newhaven, on August 9.

So far, so depressingly ordinary.

Oh. Wait!

She also admitted causing £1,400 criminal damage to a fishing vessel in West Quay, Newhaven, on August 9.

How? Did she get caught in their nets?