When Trendy Restaurant Meets Chippy Activist Customer...

Louise Ankle, 31, was having dinner with her friend Matthea Fearon, 32, at The Botanist, in West Bridgford, Nottinghamshire, on Sunday evening.

Miss Ankle, who works in retail, said they enjoyed their meal and asked for the bill, which was presented in a hardback book. It was designed for customers to open the front cover and find the receipt.

Blimey, I didn't realise this modern trend had spread to the delivering of the bill too!

But they flicked through the rest of the pages - which were supposed to be glued together, but had come unstuck - towards the end of the book. And they discovered a page in the book, which displayed the N-word as part of a page heading. The book is believed to be a collection of essays by Scottish philosopher Thomas Carlyle (1795-1881), who wrote in 1849 arguing in favour of slavery.

*shrugs* So...?

Miss Ankle said: 'We did realise at the time we were the only two black people in the restaurant. Although it did not bother us, we were aware. 'When [the bill] came, it came in a book which was closed. I did not see the N-word.

'Matthea opened it and flicked through to the back of the book. Her first reaction was, "Oh my God". She said it again and was hesitant to show me.

'[It was] at the back of the book. We both were in shock, we were both flabbergasted. The initial reaction is shock then it quickly turns into anger and upset.'

And you got a free meal out of it. Was that enough? No, of course not. Not when you can climb up on your soapbox and gain the adulation of the anti-racism industry too...

She added: 'We have [since] been emailing the manager of the restaurant and we are talking with them at the moment. 'There's nothing in particular I want. I do not want an item or to go back to the restaurant. We want to make people aware that these things do happen.'

What, total accidents whereby you come across the word 'nigger'? I guess you've never read any books, or heard any rap records, for that matter...

Miss Fearon, who works in the hospitality industry, said: 'As racial as the word is, this is more to do with ignorance and education.

'We were just shocked more than anything. You do not expect to go out anywhere and see that word.

'There were children in the restaurant who could have opened it.'

*rolls eyes*

Of course, this feigned shock and outrage is merely designed to make someone grovel. And of course, someone promptly does.

Chris Hill, CEO of the New World Trading Company, which owns the restaurant chain, said: 'First of all we are horrified, apologetic and distressed, as you would imagine. We would like to reaffirm our apologies to them and anyone else offended by this.

'We buy vintage books from our supplier. They arrive to us hollowed-out and glued together. We ask for them to be old and vintage-looking.

'What looked to have happened is in the book presented to Ms Fearon... the glue came away and the page revealed content and this awful language.'

Look, you had an idea for trendy bill-presentation, and the supplier supplied what you wanted - old books. That's all.

It was never intended they be read. It was clearly an accident. Why the over-the-top apology? That's all you have to say!

He added: 'We do not specify at all what we want. We have withdrawn the books from across the sites and will not reinstate them unless we can be 100 percent satisfied that an incident like this will not reoccur.

'We will be going back to the supply chain to understand how this would have happened.

'We withdrew the books immediately the following morning, this was across the country.

'There's no title on the front of the book, it had Carlyle on the side. The vast majority of the content had been hollowed out. It was the few pages at back of the book. We had no idea.'

That's certainly true. No idea that you are simply a pawn in these women's public display of outrage. No idea that you are merely making it harder for the next target of their self-publicity drive.

Woman Who Owes Her Meteoric Rise To Political Correctness Denies Its Effects...

Miss Dick said she would not to be cowed by political correctness, adding that crime victims had told her they want to see police ‘get out there and do more’.

That's some chutzpah, right there! I can only assume the interviewer began laughing incredulously at that point, forcing her to admit that maybe this was a tough one to swallow....

She admitted that officers probably did ‘slightly lose confidence’ and were ‘fearful they might get into trouble, or they might not be supported if they had a complaint’.

Because they won't be. Since the rest of your interview was a desperate attempt not to name the elephant in the room, but to find other 'causes' to blame.

How about social media?

Scotland Yard commissioner Cressida Dick said gangs were using online platforms to glorify street violence and show off ‘with weapons’.

 No, not buying that? Hmmmm....

Hey, I've got it! It's that devil music they listen to, right?

Miss Dick also raised concerns about the violent undercurrent in some music, especially grime.

She warned that it could lead vulnerable youngsters to think it was ‘an admirable thing to be talking about violence and people perpetrating it’.

Ah, they love that word 'vulnerable', don't they?

When Compo Culture Goes From Bad To Worse...

Two years on the from disaster (sic), McGrotty's 86-year-old father, Noel, said he has received a legal notice from Ms Knox explaining her intention to claim from McGrotty's estate.

Speaking from his home, Noel McGrotty said he was confused after being sent a private delivery and had to sign for it.

He added, according to Derry Now: 'It was a big envelope full of legal documents - hard for the ordinary man in the street to understand,' he said.

'Then I saw the name Knox and realised it was from the girl that took the baby when she was brought out of the water that day.'

But he said he was unsure why he was sent the documents because he is not the executor of his late son's estate.

Not unsure because who is so crass as to claim for this in the first place? But fear not! You see, it was all a misunderstanding!

She really meant to claim off the poor bloody taxpayer...

Ms Knox's sister Laura, however, said in a Facebook post she would 'never be as spiteful to claim off an 86-year-old man' and stressed that she thought she was suing Donegal County Council.

*speechless*

"And Best Of All, The Temple Guards Aren't Trying To Kill You!"

The latest Assassin’s Creed game, Origins, is set in ancient Egypt – a time and place redolent of historical discovery and mystery, the subject of thousands of school projects. It has been enormously successful, selling millions of copies, supported with the usual drip-feed of paid-for extra content that follows almost all big video game releases these days. But in February, Ubisoft released a different kind of update for Assassin’s Creed Origins – one that turned it into an interactive museum.

The Discovery update, as it’s called, removes all combat, missions and story from Assassin’s Creed Origins, leaving you free to explore its detailed recreation of ancient Egypt at leisure. It also adds in 75 interactive tours, written in collaboration with Egyptologists from around Europe, which teach you about everything from mummification to the city of Alexandria. It’s like one of those audio guides that you can pick up at museums. The difference between Assassin’s Creed Origins and a museum, though, is that you are immersed, walking the streets of a village as an Egyptian child or riding a horse in the shadow of the great pyramids.

Sadly, there's no gift shop in this virtual museum.

Tweet Of The Month

A double from Rachel Burns:

Post Title Of The Month

Longrider on the death of a scientist:

Quote Of The Month

DumbJon on Gina Miller's little slip of the tongue:

"But...

But...

I thought Gina was as British as Elizabeth I flying a spitfire over Stonehenge and so anyone who pointed out she was a Plastic Brit who sounds about as convincing talking about Britain as Prince Charles sounds gangsta rapping was therefore a really huge racisss...."

Post Of The Month

Hector Drummond has realised what Putin must have finally realised...

Tormented By The State, As Much As By The Accident....

During her lengthy remarks, the judge debated whether to issue consecutive or concurrent sentences, and while she deemed the case significant enough to hand down consecutive sentences she ended up opting for concurrent sentences.

This is the Hayes crash, where three teenagers were wiped out by a drunk driver, and where the judge evidently likes the sound of her own voice so much, she muses over the possible sentences before a ghastly Jim Bowen impression. No, she doesn't want to give him that...

There's one voice she definitely doesn't want in her courtroom, though.

Harry's father, Ian Rice, similarly spoke of having to read his statement 'under duress' after late edits which saw various extracts relating to criticisms of the police investigation removed.

 We can't have the police criticised, can we?

On the night of the crash Mr Rice was forced to endure an agonising wait alongside the other boys' families, until they were finally told that the their sons were dead - five and a half hours after the incident.

However, his 13-year-old daughter found out the heart-breaking news just 10 minutes after Harry was killed, when she saw a post on Facebook.

Yes, I'm aware that the police have deliberations to make that a kid with a mobile who hears from a friend who has heard from a mate doesn't. But five hours? It was claimed that the much-vaunted 'victim support' didn't turn up, leaving it instead to a WPC to break the news.

Also, although I haven't yet found a print reference to it, Harry's father stated on the BBC News report last night that when he was delivered his son's personal effects, the phone in the bag wasn't his son's phone. It was the killer's phone.

That's utterly inexcusable, if true.

You Can Always Rely On The British Bobby...

A man with mental health problems who bit a dog and then threw milk at a shop worker died after being restrained by four men, an inquest heard.

...

An inquest into Mr Beeson's death began on Wednesday at Peterborough Town Hall where medical evidence said he died from "traumatic asphyxia during restraint whilst in an agitated state".

 ...to turn up after the danger's passed and arrest the victims.

The four men were arrested on suspicion of manslaughter and then later released without charge.

The 45-year-old owner of the dog was also arrested on suspicion of causing grievous bodily harm, and was later released without charge.

So you do the best you can to protect yourselves and others from a dangerous lunatic, and your 'reward' is to then be arrested yourselves. When the people paid to deal with dangerous lunatics finally show up.

Is it me, or..?

Chief manager at the shop Jayne Peck told the inquest: “I heard a bit of a noise, saw the milkman standing there, saw another man now I know is Clive Beeson."

“The man started throwing plastic milk bottles.

"Then I saw Alan come round from the counter and he was trying to calm him down."

Ms Peck was told to push a staff alarm and call the police.

"Alan was still saying calm down, calm down, he then told me to go and phone the police," she added. “I was very, very frightened, I can remember Alan shouting at me to get help.

“All I can remember Alan saying ‘calm down, calm down, what's happened?’

Alan was frightened as well.

"I could tell in his face."

And now anyone else in that situation in the future has one more thing to fear. The people paid to deal with it.

Not In Any Way, Shape Or Form 'A Family'...

Kerry Bowman, 31, was so busy looking after her two toddlers she did not realise her partner’s dog, Toby, had run out onto the street and bitten the child.

When police called her boyfriend, Paul Lyszkiewicz, who was not home, he replied: “I know what my dog’s done, my neighbour phoned me, I don’t care I’m not coming back.”

Lovely!

The court heard enquiries led officers to Bowman’s then address.

Mr Dillon said: “Mrs Bowman allowed them into the property. It is relevant to note that she had two young children, then aged two and one.

“She said the dog residing at the address belonged to her partner, Paul Lyszkiewicz, who was not present. She said the rear yard was not secure and the dog kept trashing it.”

It was full of rubbish and months worth - perhaps years worth - of dog feces. Is that the sort of environment you'd bring children to live?

Michelle Brown, defending, said her client had given birth to a premature baby which was in hospital at the time of the offence, while her oldest child had autism.

Of course. No need to gild the lily, love, the fact she's female is enough. Here comes the suspended sentence!

She said: “She has learned grave lessons from this offence and in no way, shape or form ever wishes to experience the criminal justice system again.”

She said her client was now pregnant with her fourth child, and the family had moved to an address in Ince.

She's really 'learned her lesson', hasn't she?

A Tale Of Two Crimes...

Mr Dearsley blamed the government, adding: 'I was told the police didn't have the resources to investigate the case.'

He had filled out the online form under a new Crime Assessment Policy that came into force last year.

Police reviewed his report and decided to close the case due to the lack of CCTV, witnesses, suspects and 'forensic opportunities.'

You know what, I'm not going to castigate the police here. What are they supposed to do, with so little information to go on? I mean...

Wait.

*reads further down the page*

*blinks*

Exercises In Futility....

Dogs could be banned from Canvey seafront under proposals being considered by Castle Point Council.

Currently, dogs can go into certain areas of the beach during specific times so long as they are under the control of the owner and dog mess is cleared up. However, Castle Point Council is considering banning canines from the seafront during the summer months, due to growing concerns about the amount of dog mess left behind.

Colin Letchford, who regularly volunteers with Friends of Concord Beach to clean the area, said: “I enquired with the council on how many people had been fined for dog fouling and they said none. I don’t want to see more regulations for people to ignore.”

Oh, don't be silly Colin, of course they'll....

Wait.

Parents who take their child out of school in Southend to go on holiday are not being fined, figures have revealed.

Essex County Council fined 3,165 parents in 2016/17 for taking their children on term-time holidays, up from 1,850 in 2015/16.

However, in comparison Southend Council issued no fines whatsoever last year and only 43 the year before.

Ah.

What 'Food' Are We Talking About Here?

I do hope it's not watermelon and fried chicken....

A young poet will play a video of white people being hit by food as part of her performance at the Brighton Fringe.

Oh. Brighton. *rolls eyes*

Subira Wahogo, 24, is a Sussex University graduate who is heavily involved in creative arts.

She has chosen this visual performance for the festival to highlight the different types of racism that happens in society.

Thank god for universities, eh? What would we do without their commitment to educating our young people?

Without them, we might think there's only one form of racism...

“Last summer I went to the beach with my friend.

“We were lying down and relaxing, and this man came up to us and made a pass at us, he called us coffee and cream.

“It made me very angry.

“Right after the incident at the beach, I wrote on Facebook and asked if anyone else has had similar experiences and I got many responses.

“Some people responded saying they have been called ‘Bounty’, ‘Oreo’, ‘chocolate’, ‘chocolate milk’, Nandos chicken and even sweet and sour sauce.

“Unfortunately that was not the first time I’ve been labelled as a food.”

Aww, dry those tears, honey.

Oops!

It's True, You Really Do Have A Fool For A Client!

“It was a terrible accident, Sarah and I were on the drive and everything has been described perfectly,” said Rouse who was representing himself in the dock.

Oh dear! A recipe for disaster, as everyone will tell you...

“I am just very sorry that it happened. She is a friend of ours and it is the last thing we ever wanted to happen.

“It is the fact that they rang the doorbell first, the dog thought obviously there was a problem.

“It has been awful and terrible for all of us.”

Mostly for the person who ended up savaged, admittedly.

Following his guilty plea, the magistrates passed a sentence of a £400 fine, £85 in court costs and a £40 victim surcharge. Rouse was also told to pay £500 in compensation to Ms Palmer.

Finally, a destruction order was implemented that will see the dog in question destroyed as the court couldn’t be satisfied the animal was not a danger to the public.

Thank goodness! Sense at last!

Have I Mentioned How Much I Love Memes...?

...most of all, I love their versatility.

H/T: PresumingEd via Twitter

I Hope You All Remembered...?

Sunday Funnies...

Clearly, it didn't work, I've only heard of two of these!

Let's Hope They've Got This One Right...

Fourteen victims of modern slavery have been rescued and placed into safety. Officers from Grays Criminal Investigation Department worked in partnership with the British Red Cross, officers from the Gangmasters and Labour Abuse Authority (GMLAA), Immigration and HMRC executed a warrant in Biggin Lane, Grays.

The warrant was conducted following information gathered by officers over the past few months which suggested forced labour may be taking place.

 Hmmm, I wonder...?

Following the warrant, 14 victims of modern slavery were identified and taken to a prearranged safe location. No details about their ages have been revealed. All victims were given medical treatment and provided with food and clothing. They have been rehoused by the British Red Cross in a new area.

Not taken back to their country of origin, them? Still, the authorities need a big win, after the last debacle:

Migrant flower pickers have been protesting outside a police station after officers "rescued" them from an alleged slave farm.

The crowd of more than 100 workers took to the streets to demand the release of their employer following a police raid on the farm where they had been working.

Three men were arrested on slavery charges following the dawn raid on R H Scrimshaw and Sons' farm in Cornwall.

We'll see.

The World Has Gone Mad...

Britain's most senior paediatrician has called for a 100-fold increase in weight loss operations on children to ward off an impending 'obesity apocalypse'.

Professor Russell Viner, president of the Royal College of Paediatrics and Child Health (RCPCH), said NHS surgery for overweight teens could be the only way to 'rescue' them from the 'vicious cycle' of a poor diet and bad health.

 Can the NHS afford this? Well...

This Morning viewers gushed over the antics of an adorable three-year-old guest's antics on Friday's show.

Benjamin Wayne was on the show with his mother Joanna, from Carshalton, Surrey, who was there to discuss how his NHS funding bid for cochlear hearing implants was rejected.

He has a condition called Connexin 26, which has left him with only slight hearing in his left ear. Though his hearing is significantly impaired, he does not qualify for the implants under current NHS guidelines - meaning his family are now trying to raise £80,000 for private treatment.

Is it me, or...?

Would "Culprit, Malefactor, Delinquent, Reprobate" Suit You Better?

Ralph Pickles, director of Outwood Grange Academies Trust Board, said his goal was to change the culture at his academies “so that the ones who are admired are the ones who are successful and aren’t the miscreants”.

An admirable goal. Who could disagree?

The comment irked Cllr Dianne Hewitt (Ed: yes, Labour, of course...) who said she found the use of the word “miscreant” unacceptable.

She said: “How we use language is important.

“How we value people is important.”

*speechless*

Toothless Law, Or Toothless Judges?

Susan Parry’s dog Zeus attacked little Alfie Cannons just two months after it pulled Lara Bodour to the ground leaving her with two bleeding puncture wounds.

Parry, had been warned by police after the first incident that she should keep the dog muzzled and on a lead when out in future but did not do so.

What a shock, right?

When interviewed by police Parry, of Liverpool Road, Great Sankey, said that the little girl had been running about and screeching but did not think that was why Zeus attacked her and the other victim had also been screeching with his friend.

She admitted she had been warned after the first incident to keep the dog muzzled and on a lead.

Parry, 52, admitted two offences of being in charge of a dog dangerously out of control and causing injury.

Bang to rights, should be an easy judgement. Until you find a judge that's willing to overlook the evidence, of course.

Sentencing her to three months imprisonment suspended for nine months Judge Elizabeth Nicholls said that although fortuitously neither victim was seriously injured they were significant injuries and they have been left scarred and apprehensive of large dogs.

She told Parry, who kept interrupting to say, “I’m so sorry” that the second offence was the most serious because she had ignored the police advice after the first incident.

Judge Nicholls said: “For whatever reason you decided you knew better and took the risk. The second incident could have been foreseen because it had happened before in the same sort of circumstances.”

She also told Parry that she accepted she was full of remorse and had voluntarily gone to the police each time. She added that she had read character references on her behalf and that of the dog.

I'd love to know who wrote the ones for the dog!

The judge made a contingency destruction order meaning that the dog must be muzzled and on a short lead when out but she decided against banning her from owning a dog.

/facepalm

I Suspect The Clue Is In The Name...

Leif Bersweden, botanist and PhD student at Kew Gardens, told The Independent it was "arguably the most toxic plant native to Britain" and that anyone who ate it would suffer convulsions, seizures and "definitely" die within 24 hours.

"The roots have a lot more of the toxin, the stem has a lot, and the leaves slightly less," he said. "But if you just touch the leaves and then eat a sandwich, say, then you’re going to get really ill."

Has anyone told Putin...?

"Keeping You Safe, Citizens!" Part 30726

Canvey Town Council has thousands of pounds set aside for extra policing on the island...but has now been told the scheme has been put “on hold”.

What? Why? If anywhere needs more police, it's Canvey Island!

Police Fire and Crime Commissioner, Roger Hirst, launched the project allowing councils to fund its own PCSOs, or special constables, to be based in specific areas. The town council has earmarked £5,000 in the forthcoming financial year’s budget to fund officers’ hours.

Ah. Well, I suppose they are better than nothing...

However, the council has now been told the scheme has been put on ice, due to ‘procedural issues’.

Which are never expanded upon. One can only hope it's because they are planning to divert the money into a more robust scheme:

Yup, that ought to do it.    

Losing Your Focus...

Nationwide say they will talk to police after Twitter users got so angry about a pair of singing sisters on the building society's adverts that some even said they wished they were dead.

Except that from the article, no-one actually did that. You'd have to be an idiot (or a publicity hungry chief marketing officer) to think so.

The songs by comedy duo Flo and Joan to promote the society's financial products have provoked rare online ire, as one user wrote: 'So who's chipping in to get these two singing sisters from the Nationwide advert brutally murdered?'

Another said: 'I don't condone violence of any kind. But it'd benefit us all if the women off the Nationwide advert were left on an uninhabited island far, far away. For the rest of their lives.'

A third added: 'Hypothetically - If #floandjoan (the two singing witches from the Nationwide advert) were to suddenly go missing in mysterious circumstances, there'd actually be 60 million suspects.'

A curious thing for a building society to concern itself with simple banter, no? Unless the adverts aren't getting them enough clicks, I suppose...

Nationwide's Chief Marketing officer Sara Bennison told Ok! Online...it is important to call out those persistent offenders who put out vile comments on a regular basis and who should really know better.

'That is why Nationwide is looking to work with other brands, industry bodies, such as ISBA, and the Met Police to look at the true scale of this worrying trend to spread hate from behind a keyboard and attempt to create a solution to tackle the issue.

'It’s one thing not to like an advert, another to threaten to kill the stars of it. Abuse is abuse and that’s never OK in our book.'

I know that 'no publicity is bad publicity', but did Nationwide really hire you to get their name in the paper this way?

At Last! Someone Speaks Truth To Power!

'O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!' Finally CiF can no longer hide what we all know is self-evident truth.

As a child I was taught that silence was golden. On our way to assembly the teachers would make us press our fingers over our lips so only the sound of us padding to the hall could be heard. The local vicar stood at the front of the class every year at Lent to tell us that Jesus was silent in the face of his accusers. He would tell us that silence “can be more eloquent than a speech and louder than a shout”.

He would draw on the passage from St Matthew’s Gospel in which, after his betrayal and arrest in Gethsemane, Jesus is brought before Pilate, and refuses to answer his questions. I was confused by the silence of Jesus – why didn’t he speak out? Of course, various interpretations have read this silence as a way of wresting power back from Pilate. But as a child the message was clear to me: silence was strength; and in the face of adversity or abuse, it was dignified.

*blinks*

Ah. I might have known, really...

In Today's 'You Couldn't Make It Up' News...

An armed robber has walked free from prison after raiding a corner shop with a shotgun to pay off drug debts.

Wait, what...?

Tristan Bassett, 20, had been bundled into a car, assaulted and threatened with having his family’s home burnt down before he was then given a shotgun and ordered by his dealers to raid a convenience store to get the money he owed them.

He proved as inept at this as everything else, and was run off by the shopkeeper's wife, without ever getting the shotgun out.

Which provided quite the excuse-generator for his mouthpiece:

James Partridge, defending, told the court that although the robbery was not under duress – the drug dealers remained nearby but not in sight of the shop – it amounted to exceptional circumstances.

He said Bassett, who appeared in court via video link from prison, should be dealt with leniently.

He said: “He used cannabis and alcohol in the past as a crutch for him which made his situation worst (sic).

“He ended up in a situation where he owed money for drugs. On October 21 he encountered the men and was bundled in the car.

“The gun was something given to him to carry out the robbery and he did not take it out.”

Yeah, that's not going to fly, surely?

Judge David Rennie accepted the case had exceptional circumstances, allowing him not to impose the minimum sentence of five years for firearms offences.

Oh. Silly me.

He said: “It was your fault you got into debt, but nothing would prepare you for the situation you were forced into by the individuals who saw it as a way to get their money back. Yes you could have run away when they car drove off, but I understand you were unable to do so, governed by fear.”

Did he name the dealers? We aren't told. 

Ha Ha Ha Ha! Stop. You're Killing Me!

UKIP councillor Steven Hodge said: “We have received several complaints about this incident which was lawless, like something from the Wild West.

"Tesco staff were instructed not to challenge them.

"It seems it is one rule for us and other for the travellers.”

 Oh, you are a wag!

Independent councillor Kerry Smith added: “Apparently the staff were threatened by the main leader of the traveller group not to get them arrested or they would trash the store. The staff then emptied many of the shelves because they were walking in an out and taking what they wanted, as well as using the toilets like a washroom.

“Yesterday afternoon I contacted the Police Crime and Fire commissioner of Essex, to get his officers out and get them arrested for public order offences.”

*wipes away tear of mirth* Good one! Got any more?

It's Not Hard At All...

The advice of almost every charity is never to give to beggars; in the words of the Big Issue’s founder, John Bird, “It locks the beggar in a downward spiral of abject dependency and victimhood, where all self-respect, honesty and hope are lost.”

Most beggars – as many as 80% – are doing so to fund a drug habit. Better instead to give money to charities, say the charities, so that they can fund drop-in centres and other projects that have a chance of changing the beggar’s life.

There’s something unreal about this position, however: when you have so much more than the person asking for it, refusing money can be hard.

No, actually. It isn't. Thousands of us have to do it every day, when we are accosted by obviously-addicted beggars.

What I notice is that the beggar and the begged-from are far less separate than before. Often, a young woman will kneel down to talk to a ragged man or walk out of her way to fetch him a coffee. Friendships of a kind have been formed. Perhaps a feeling is dawning: we’re in the same boat.

No, we aren't. And thankfully, we never will be.

You Never Forget Your Schooldays...

Lisa French, aged 44, saw her Staffordshire Bull Terrier/Hungarian Vizsla cross clench its teeth on the woman’s left calf in the grounds of Lipson Co-operative Academy.

PE teacher Wendy Woodstock was forced to take time off work after surgery and was still on restricted duties three months later, Plymouth Crown Court heard.

Judge Ian Lawrie handed French a suspended prison sentence and decided not to have the dog, called Diesel, destroyed. But the defendant must pay the teacher almost £800 in compensation.

Hmmm....

He added that the two-year-old animal was not dangerous.

Really?

Judge Lawrie said: “I do not see it posing any threat. This was an unpleasant incident, but the dog reacted in a way to a combination of circumstances.”

Those circumstances being...?

Emmi Wilson, for the Crown Prosecution Service, said Ms Woodstock approached French as she walked three dogs and asked whether a nearby vehicle was hers.

She added that Diesel ran over and clenched its teeth around the teacher’s left calf.

Ah, I see. Someone approaching the owner. Well, how often might that happen...?

Ali Rafati, for French, said she and her mother were allowing the three dogs to run around a field. He added Ms Woodstock told them that they should not have the animals there.

The barrister said the teacher “waved her arms around”.

Mr Rafati added: “The dogs started running towards her and we have discovered that this lady has been attacked by a dog before.

"Understandably, when Diesel gets to her she tried to get him away by kicking out with her foot. It prompted Diesel to take a bite.”

That's the best bit of victim blaming I've ever seen! The comments are somewhat interesting too...

Blimey! Someone hated PE with a passion.

Is This Really Such A Good Idea...?!

After all, they don't tend to turn out very well....

The 'Indy' Needs To Get Sorted For 'E's...

...as the song goes.

Sunday Funnies...

OK, I think Milena Marinkovic wins this one...

"Look, Social Justice Warriors, Really, It's All Your Fault.."

No, for once, that's not me saying that!

The Church of England may have “overcompensated” for earlier repressive attitudes to gay clergy with a reluctance to deal rigorously with priests who sexually abused children, Rowan Williams, the former archbishop of Canterbury, has said.

You sort of have to admire the chutzpah here, don't you?

I mean, once you get past the horror and revulsion that this preening popinjay can actually advance this as an excuse, of course.

In recent years, “more and more people [are] coming out of the closet. The question of clergy sexuality has been more openly discussed. The change in climate has been quite striking … I think there has been a sea change.”

He went on: “At a time when people were beginning to feel awkward about traditional closeted attitudes, there was perhaps an overcompensation, [people] saying, ‘Well, we don’t want to be to be judgmental about people’s sexual activities … We must therefore give people a second chance and understand the pressures,’ and so on.”

He suggested that “a rather paradoxical consequence of the traditional view of homosexuality within the church [is that] you want to overcompensate a bit for it.”

I'm not religious, but I rather suspect that that's not what the phrase 'suffer the little children' means...

This Is Not The Fault Of The Police....

Deborah says she is now looking to lodge a complaint against West Yorkshire Police.

...though I'm prepared (just) to give her a pass because grieving people say strange things:

Uninsured driver Yasser Iqbal, 29, of Norman Grove, Idle, was jailed for 15 months in January at Bradford Crown Court after he ploughed into Kenneth as he crossed the road to get a takeaway.

The 71-year-old, who had six grandchildren and four great-grandchildren, was treated by paramedics at the scene of the crash but was later pronounced dead. Kenneth’s family initially hit out at the “unforgivable” actions of Iqbal, who fled the scene, before abandoning the van two miles down the road on September 23, 2016.

But Kenneth’s daughter, Deborah “broke down” when she saw the van back parked in Iqbal’s driveway after it was returned by police following the end of the court case.

Well, yes. Of course it was returned.

She said: “The police took it away until it went to court because they needed it as evidence and then just out of the blue last Saturday it turned up in the driveway. I thought, ‘how inconsiderate it that?’, the windscreen was still smashed and it’s just two minutes away from my house, where is the compassion?

“It just brings everything back, I get flashbacks anyway.”

But the police are obliged to do this. What's the point in complaining to them?

A West Yorkshire Police spokesperson said: “The collision which caused Mr Parratt’s death was hugely traumatic and distressing for his family. It is standard procedure that property which is seized as part of the investigation or for court proceedings is not retained indefinitely and would be returned to the legal owner once the court process is fully concluded, as they have in this case. Officers fully understand and sympathise with the terrible loss Mr Parratt’s family have suffered.”

I have no doubt they do.

But, frankly, they have enough on their plate without having to fend off whining snowflakes who can't seem to grasp that the world doesn't revolve around them.

That there will always be reminders all around of upsetting incidents, and that how we cope with that is a sign of maturity.

That demanding the world change to assuage their grief is not healthy.

They Heard 'Gangs' Because It Was A Gang....

...homicides are not always so straightforward, especially in cases of spontaneous violence, such as a street fight. One defendant might throw a few punches without intending that anybody should use a knife. Should their commission of assault imply their guilt of murder?

Yes. Because we don't want roaming gangs of youths feeling free to attack people in the street.

Why is this so difficult to understand?

Joint enterprise’s crisis of legitimacy has also been intensified by its grossly unequal application. In a study of the cases of 294 people under 26 who were given sentences of 15 years or more, researchers at Cambridge University found that those convicted under joint enterprise comprised more than half of their sample, and observed a stark pattern in the composition of this group: more than half were black or mixed-race.

Ah. Of course. Yet more statistics that must at all costs be ignored, more reality that progressives cannot bear.

All 11 of those convicted in the Moss Side case are black or mixed-race. The youngest was 14 at the time of the attack, and the oldest was 20. Their family members say that the academic research confirms their fear that their loved ones have been convicted in part because of the colour of their skin. “The jury made up their mind as soon as they saw them,” said Devon’ta Neish’s aunt Anna, an administrator at a local school. “They saw black boys from Moss Side, they heard ‘gangs’, and that was it.”

Because it was, indisputably, a gang.

...on Thursday 12 May 2016, a young man named Abdul Wahab Hafidah was seen on CCTV cameras running westward through busy traffic across Princess Road in Moss Side, a crowded, diverse, working-class neighbourhood two miles south of Manchester city centre. He was pursued by two young men on foot, and another on a bicycle. As traffic slowed at the junction of Princess Road and Moss Lane East, Hafidah tried desperately to open the door of a passing car, before turning to face his pursuers, waving a knife. They stepped back, and he ran off down Moss Lane East. Someone threw a hammer at him, but missed. The chase went on, joined – or followed – by seven other young men who made their way across Princess Road over the next 45 seconds. Hafidah was drunk, and he was scared. He knew some of the boys who were chasing him, and he knew they were angry with him.

On Moss Lane East, he tried once more to get into a passing vehicle. As he ran across the street, he was hit by more than one car, one of which was a Vauxhall Corsa, driven by a friend of some of those pursuing him. A pathologist later found that he had suffered leg injuries suggesting “a glancing blow” at low speed.

At around 5.14pm, near the junction of Moss Lane East and Denhill Road, roughly 100 metres west of Princess Road, several of Hafidah’s pursuers caught up to him. He was punched, kicked and stamped on, although witnesses remember the details and the number of attackers differently. According to statements taken by the police, a student walking home from college saw “at least three or four” people drag Hafidah to the ground, punching and kicking him. A man working in an office overlooking the scene saw “a couple of youths” fighting on the northern side of the road, and “six or seven youths” watching from a nearby grass verge. Another witness, a lab assistant, thought there were five attackers. A woman on her way home from work saw three young men knock Hafidah to the ground. He curled up into a ball while they kicked him around the legs, torso and head.

A gang. Clearly. If they'd been wolves, we'd have called them a pack.

Why the squeamishness about calling them what they are, and treating them appropriately?

The youth worker Akemia Minott, who has known most of the defendants for years, is consumed by anger. “I don’t understand how they can justify themselves,” she said of the police and the courts. “It’s not a game. This shit’s not a game, this is real people’s lives. These lives aren’t less valuable than yours, these lives aren’t inferior to yours, or insignificant in comparison to yours. So why is the criminal justice system of a supposedly civilised and advanced country able to use certain people as just pawns in their game of chess?”

Personally, I think the recruitment of 'youth workers' has gone seriously wrong somewhere. And is contributing to the mess we are in.

A Little Consistency Would Be Nice...

Taken directly from Nottinghamshire Police Farce's page on 'hate crime':

Dad Mohamed said they believed the attack was racially-motivated and added: 'My daughter has never had a problem with any girl in the city before.

'I don't know why they attacked her the first time, but they recognised her the second time and went after her again.

'My wife and I think it was racially motivated because Mariam didn't know these girls, why would you attack someone randomly?

'They were all of different colour skin to Mariam maybe that is why they did this - they also called her "black rose".

'I just don't know why they would attack her, when she did nothing wrong.'

 Open and shut case, then?

Nottinghamshire Police said they did not think the attack was 'motivated by hate' but 'continued to keep an open mind'.

But according to your own published guidelines, it doesn't matter what you think, does it? You may have good reason to disregard this as being a hate crime, of course. But if so, then surely you should be qualifying your statement on your website?

Or awkward questions might be asked.

The World Is Changing...

Philip Pullman has called on publishers to stop damaging “the ecology of the book world” and start giving authors a fairer share of the money their books earn.

...and if you don't like it, there are other options.

“To allow corporate profits to be so high at a time when author earnings are markedly falling is, apart from anything else, shockingly bad husbandry. It’s perfectly possible to make a good profit and pay a fair return to all of those on whose work, after all, everything else depends. But that’s not happening at the moment,” said Pullman.

 Instead of whining, change the process yourself! It's not easy, but when is anything worthwhile easy?

The Society of Authors has set out a range of challenges for publishers, calling on them to “commit to paying authors a higher proportion of turnover”; to be more transparent about how writers, illustrators and translators are paid; and to draw from “a wider pool, not just celebrities, but writers from across society”.

Yes. More 'diversity'. That's what's needed. 

Sorry Victor, You're The Patsy...

Victor Oladipo, 18, of Arne Court, Laindon, was due to attend a five-day trial for raiding the home of an elderly couple in Timberlog Lane, Basildon.

He was charged with aggravated burglary alongside Sean Byrne, 30, of no fixed address, and Joe Haide 29, of Lincoln Road, Basildon.

However Oladipo and Haide admitted the lesser charge of burglary on Monday and the Crown Prosecution Service (CPS) offered no evidence in the case against Byrne, meaning he was free to leave court.

Still, having admitted a lesser charge, you'll get a lesser sentence, right?

Oladipo had been bailed to his girlfriend’s home in the lead up to the trial, but after Recorder Pounder told the men they would face a prison sentence, his bail was revoked and he was remanded into custody.

On hearing this, Oladipo began begging the judge to change his mind.

Heh! *opens popcorn*

After sobbing in the dock, he stood up and screamed: “It’s not fair.

“I don’t understand.

“I need to see my family. Please your honour.

“I can’t go back there. I need to see my family. What am I supposed to do? It’s not fair.”

Awwww, dry those tears, little thug! You haven't been sentenced yet! There's still time for your solicitor to concoct a sob story:

Oladipo and Haide will appear at Basildon Crown Court to be sentenced on April 11.

Of course, you have to survive remand first:

Normally, I'd be suggesting that if the state imprisons you, they have a duty of care. But an aggravated burglary of pensioners? I hope April 11th feels like a long, long time coming....

"...a vague word to get the desired effect without going into details..."

Mr Sarayiah told the Daily Mail: ‘People cannot be allowed to make allegations anonymously. I can’t defend myself without knowing the details of the complaints. I did not act inappropriately in any way.’

Unfortunately, Mr Sarayiah, these days, you're expected to do just that.

When the university told him he was no longer welcome at events because of complaints about his behaviour, he launched court action to find out exactly what these allegations were.

At a hearing, a judge agreed that the university should release the information, but not the names of the women who made the accusations.

Another stunning snatching of defeat from the jaws of victory for our so-called 'justice' system...

But in defiance of the court, Mr Sarayiah told Durham that the women could be identified. Under a new high court judgment, Sir David Eady ruled that the university did not have to name the women – and they have now sent Mr Sarayiah the lawyers’ £24,000 bill.

He could face contempt of court proceedings.

And he will. Because if there's one thing that universities will fight to the death over these days, it's the right of women or minorities to make the most absurd claims without proof.

But he plans to appeal, claiming the document listing seven women’s complaints ‘was malicious and had been conjured up’, despite a judge warning he had no such evidence. 

I'd say he has all the evidence he needs.

It's The Country, Grudges Grow Like Wheat...

Speaking after the hearing Mr Donoghue said he was pleased with the outcome, but the trauma of the attack means he has not jogged on the public footpaths near Bowling's farm since.

"I just hope he is going to take more care with his dogs now," he said. "His dogs are dangerous — they should have been put down, or one of them at least."

Well, yes. But dogs are cheap, and it's ensured you keep away, so...who has really won here?

Michelle Brown, defending, stressed that Bowling was of previous good character and, since the incident, has installed another gate to ensure the dogs cannot escape again.

"He is a responsible dog owner and someone who does his utmost to ensure there is harmony between his dogs and visitors," she said. "There is no reason to suggest there is going to be any repeat of this incident."

Really?

Giving evidence in court he claimed he had spotted the jogger taking a short cut through his crops and admitted he had been angry when he opened the gate to go and confront Mr Donoghue.

He revealed that he had previously been involved in a dispute with Mr Donoghue's family over some land, but on that day had not immediately realised who the jogger was.

And if you believe that story, would you like to buy this?

No reasonable offer refused!

Well, I Can Do The Maths, If No-One Else Can...

Carol Broadbent, 32, says her Incommunities house in Shirley Place, Wyke, is too small for her partner and three children to live in and is not specially adapted for her son, Logan Beaumont, five, who suffered a seizure in May 2016.

Miss Broadbent have (sic) called for the Council and Incommunities to move her family from their three-bedroom home which she says is too small for them.

Both organisations say they are working with the family.

She was forced to give up her job as a cleaner to look after Logan full-time. Logan shares a bedroom, which contains a hospital bed, with his brother Lucas, seven, while their sister Lexi, three, has a separate bedroom.

If it was 'too small for three children', one of which needs adaptations, why did you go on to have the third child?

She said: “We are really struggling. It is getting really, really difficult now. We definitely have to move.

“We have waited for something to happen for two years now. Logan is getting bigger and bigger, so he is harder for us to carry around. It is really hard.”

Rather than waiting (and breeding), why didn't you do something about it yourselves? Like get a better job?

And why can't the organisation find another property, since it's huge, and covers a lot of areas?

An Incommunities spokesperson said: “We fully appreciate the needs of the family to find a suitable adapted property locally and are working with the Council to endeavour to meet their needs.

“The family have stated they want to stay in the Wyke area. Unfortunately, although we have identified a number of family-sized properties to date, these have not been suitable for conversion to an adapted home to meet their long term housing needs. ”

*sympathy evaporates*

It Doesn't Say Much For The Quality Of Brighton University Students...

Brighton University student Arjunbir Soin, 21, said there were five bombs in the city shopping centre in a bid to force staff to close it.

Soin pleaded guilty to five charges of making hoax calls at Brighton Magistrates Court yesterday.

The engineering student has now been told he could be sent to prison.

Only 'could'..?!

Prosecutor Martina Sherlock told the court Soin initially denied making the calls before he was played three recordings of them.

/facepalm

She told the court: “He told officers he was behind with university work and wanted the day off work.

“He didn’t know how to ask for a day off.

“So he thought let’s do this and see what happens.

“He said he was sorry and not a terrorist, and did not want to hurt anyone.”

Are the procedures for requesting a day off not clear at Apple Stores? Do they let the techies write them then, rather than the HR department?

Sarah Smith, defending, said Soin was “an absolute idiot”.

“It was not sophisticated and he used his own phone.”

This is the calibre of engineering student we are churning out now?

A Thin Line Between Genius And Insanity...

A man who has an Opal card implanted in his hand has been fined for not having a valid ticket but is refusing to pay up.

Whut..?

The scientist, who calls himself Meow Ludo Disco Gamma Meow Meow....

*rolls eyes*

...has been swiping on and off for months using an implanted chip from an Opal card. Everytime he beeps through the turnstile, Meow Ludo defies authority in the name of technology. Now, his rogue ways have landed him in court. "I'm flabbergasted, I think it's ridiculous," he said.

Me too, Meow Ludo Disco Gamma Meow Meow, me too....

Transport for NSW maintains it doesn't support Opal cards being tampered with or damaged and customers who do so may have their card cancelled. But, for now, Meow's implanted one still works.

Well, maybe I shouldn't laugh at him, since my c2c ticket regularly demagnetises itself & has to be replaced...

H/T: Stonyground in comments

"Doe, A Deer, A Female Deer..."

Rossendale police said they responded to the ‘disturbing incident’ in the Dunnockshaw area at the top of Limey Valley, and found the animals had been ‘skinned’, with their antlers sawn off and also had the carcasses ‘butchered’ for meat.

Oh noes!

PCSO Chris Hamer said: “It is despicable that people are going about killing deer and are just discarding the remains and even the fawns.

“We think they are roe deer and female doe deer...”.

Which don't have antlers to saw off. And 'female' is irrelevant in that sentence.

'Star Trek:The Triggering'

*chuckles* The angst in the comments has to be seen to be believed...

You mean, some people just want to watch a show without twisting it to fit their political outlook? How quaint!

Signs Of The Apocalypse...

*gasps* Say it ain't so, Waitrose!

Sunday Funnies...

Well, at least we'll never run out of arts or media studies majors...

As The Scorpion Said....

Ms Howard is a former firearms officer, who famously appeared as a Scotland Yard poster girl - complete with Heckler & Koch semi-automatic rifle - promoting efforts to protect London during the 2012 Olympics.

The black officer quit the Met in 2015 after winning a £37,000 tribunal payout in a high-profile race discrimination case and went on to join the IPCC as an investigator the following year.

"...well, it's my nature."

...Carol Howard, 39, has accused the Independent Police Complaints Commission of being 'institutionally racist and corrupt'.

She told an employment tribunal that the watchdog frustrated inquiries in order to protect accused officers and the reputation of forces.

Oh boy, there's not enough popcorn in the world, is there?

Well, I Think The Answer Might Be Written Down Somewhere, Kathleen...

Weekly, I have to feed six to seven people three meals a day. I do it on about £50 a week, sometimes £65, sometimes less than £30. It all depends what I have left in the bank after I have paid everything I need to pay.

Oh, you poor thing!

The only thing stopping me from cooking wonderful meals packed full of vegetables and healthy things is cost. I can cook, so can all of my children. I can’t afford to cook as I wish to do.

*stifles a tear*

Stuff I know will be eaten. Risk-free food I know won’t end up in the bin. When I have just £2 in my pocket, it’s not the time to experiment and find out whether my 13-year-old would appreciate a quinoa-and-aubergine bake.

Errr, hang on. If you're 'in poverty', you eat what you can get, don't you? Because you're hungry....

No, no. Mustn't let doubt creep in! Pray, continue...

It’s not a class problem. It’s a financial problem. We all want the best for our children. We just need to be able to afford to put the building blocks in place.

And what cruel capitalist corporation is paying you poverty wages, Kathleen? What unfeeling big business is preventing you from keeping body & soul together by not paying you what you're worth?

Kathleen Kerridge is an author of LGBT fantasy fiction

Ah. I guess that doesn't pay as well as you hoped? I don't suppose you've considered getting a proper job? No?

Didn't think so.

Humourless And Spineless...

...the former mosque chairman refused to stand up while he was in the witness box at Brighton Magistrates Court, telling magistrates “I don’t stand for anybody else other than god”.

His defence solicitor, Owen Greenhall, told the court: “It is a requirement of his faith not to stand unless for a religious matter.

“I would ask he be allowed to adopt the practice for the duration of proceedings, as he takes that requirement very seriously.”

 He's basically just sticking up two fingers, isn't he?

Chairman of magistrates Ian Wedge quipped back: “I’m not sure about that I think I will take advice on that when I come back.”

In order to be a 'quip, shouldn't it be, well, funny...?

Yup, thought so.

Magistrates later accepted the request allowing him to leave the dock before the magistrates retired to avoid any conflict with Deghayes' Muslim religion.

Yes, roll over, why not? What's the worst that could happen? They'd come to expect capitulation from our institutions?

As Farenheit211 points out, they've already got that.

You're Hopelessly Out Of Touch With Modern Parenting, Mrs Waller....

Diane and Richard Waller, from Leslie Road, Rayleigh, were completely unaware of the controversial policy despite checking details on the farm’s website. Mrs Waller, 61, wanted to take her husband, who is battling prostate cancer, to see the animals on Sunday as a therapeutic activity after a tough week.

She said: “It should be made so you cannot miss it.

“We were completely unaware of the policy until we were told by the staff at the door and we were really hurt - it ruined our day.

“We thought Marsh Farm would be good because you can just interact with the animals and don’t have to speak to anybody.

“There is nowhere else to do that at this time of year. I think if you’re taking your children somewhere as a parent, you keep an eye on them and you are responsible for safeguarding them - there is no need for Marsh Farm to penalise people without children.

“No other attraction has that kind of policy.”

...why, did't you know it takes a village (of suspicious witch-hunters) to raise a child?

"You See, Really, He's The Victim Here!" Pt 2879354

A man who vowed he would carry out a terrorist attack by ploughing a car into a group of black people and going on a knife rampage was spared jail yesterday.

Ha ha ha! Of course that's not true!

Ruzykhan Sayadi, of Southfield Park, Bartlemas Close, Oxford, had denied one count of causing racially aggravated intentional harassment, alarm or distress.

During his trial, which was held at Oxford Crown Court between January 24 and 26 this year, the jury took seven hours and one minute to find Sayadi guilty by a majority verdict.

Why so long?

As he was sentenced, the court was told the 23-year old asylum seeker from Afghanistan had accrued a long-standing debt problem.

*raises eyebrow*

Sayadi had also grown ‘frustrated’ with the immigration service, which had been dealing with his claim for asylum over the course of a number of years.

He's frustrated...?! Imagine how we taxpayers feel, having to fund the lazy public sector Home Office twonks who've failed to throw him out of the country!

Sentencing, Judge Pringle added: “You do need some assistance and some change if you are going to establish yourself as a lawful citizen of this country in due course.”

He's clearly shown that that's as likely a prospect as me going to the moon. FFS!

Sayadi was given a community order for 18 months to include a rehabilitation activity requirement for 20 days and participation in the Resolve programme.

So once again, he's treated as an employment opportunity for the public sector!

Oh, If Only You Were Something In The Police Force, Mr Passmore...

Helen Sismore from East Anglia Guide Dogs has been working alongside relevant Suffolk agencies, including police and crime commissioner Tim Passmore, to crack down on guide dog attacks.

She said: “This is an intolerable situation for people who are blind or partially sighted.

“We ask the public to ensure their dogs are properly socialised with other dogs and are under control at all times whether they are on or off lead.”

Mr Passmore added: “First of all I think these are utterly sickening attacks on this guide dog. Assistance dogs are a lifeline for their owners and play an integral part in their lives.

“I know most dog owners are quite respectful, but there are a minority who are selfish.

“The perpetrators need catching.”

...then maybe you could ensure the police dealt with it properly?

Not Travelling For A While...

Ward, who has many previous convictions, lost the use of his legs five years ago when a passenger in a serious accident.

You'd think he'd learn, wouldn't you?

Felix Ward had hand-operated rods attached to the brake and accelerator pedals of the automatic BMW 330 Sports and Audi A3 hatchback which were stolen in car key burglaries, a judge was told.

If only such enthusiasm were redirected into actual paid employment!

Mr Iain Suggett, defending, said of the Wolverhampton burglary: "The travelling community had attended a wedding in the city, went for a drive and the rest is history."

A masterful summing up, there!

H/T: Ted Treen via email

Then He Climbed The Post Office Tower And Bared His Teeth At Royal Air Force Biplanes...

Officers are said to have struggled with the 15-stone hooker for almost an hour before he grabbed the Taser himself, yelling: "You're getting it now."

Just sums up the modern police farce, doesn't it?

Go all in like stormtroopers when the target is a couple of pensioners, but prove barely capable of holding their own when the target fights back.

Detective Constable Lynsey Watson-Perry, of GMP's Wigan borough, said: "In all their careers, the officers at the scene had never been so scared nor witnessed such a violent individual that had so much strength to fight"

"Moore knew exactly what he was doing, using his size and experience on the rugby field to evade officers in a desperate struggle that threatened both the safety of officers and innocent members of the public."

Maybe they should stick to Facebook spats in future?

The Offence-Takers Get Ambitious....

A traffic accident, a news report, and....CUE OUTRAGE!

This is what pandering to the lowest-common denominator on other matters gets you - a demand that newspapers should cease reporting news.

With the modern, thoroughly warped version of 'respect' (meaning craven capitulation for fear of injury) thrown in for good measure.

Perhaps We Should Ask Who The Neighbours Were...

The family have now been awarded 'substantial damages' after West Mercia Police admitted officers assaulted the family unlawfully and falsely imprisoned Ghislaine and Ralph.

Chief Superintendent Charles Hill said: 'I can confirm that West Mercia Police has agreed a legal settlement in relation to an incident arising from a neighbour dispute in Coreley, Shropshire in July 2014.

'We have settled the claim on the basis of technical legal advice and we do not accept all elements of the claimants' case.

'Three officers involved in the case were subject to a Misconduct Meeting where it was found there was no case to answer, although the force has taken some learning from this incident.'

...and what their relationship with the three armed West Mercia officers was..?

And We Wonder Why The Quality Of Our Police 'Service' Continues To Nosedive...

In an impact statement read out at Hove Crown Court yesterday, the woman said: “I completely trusted him and now see how stupid I was.

“I felt like I was his puppet. This continued for months and gradually got worse.

“He kept me in a place where I didn’t know if I was coming or going.

“He destroyed my self-esteem.”

Just another weak, low IQ female victim of a terrible cad..?

Her health deteriorated dramatically during their relationship and she said between July 2015 and July 2016 she lost three stone in weight due to the “stress of being with him”.

She said: “I 100 per cent blame Alex for causing my illness. I believe the stress he brought to me caused my illness.

“I was off work for months after this.

“He ruined me financially. I was left with no choice but to move in with my parents, which, with my two very young children, brought stresses.”

Gosh! How terrible. Say, what was your job, anyway?

Alex Rush was a Brighton-based PC and acting sergeant before being dismissed for gross misconduct last year.

He started an intimate relationship with a lower-rank constable, also based in the city, in July 2015, despite having a wife and son.

I...

Wait. You were employed by the police, and couldn't spot (or deal with) a wrong 'un?

If In Doubt, Cry 'Racism'....

Twelve-year-old Lemar-Shea Simpson went to Eastwood Academy, Leigh, last Monday sporting cornrows, but was immediately placed in isolation.

Oh, boy...

Selina is claiming the school is unappreciative of her son’s culture.

Wha...?

She said: “I couldn’t believe it, Lemar is dual-heritage and has afro hair. Anyone who has afro hair, or has seen Lemar’s will know he doesn’t have too many options in terms of style, and he definitely can’t just run a comb through it in the morning.

“He knew his hair was quite scruffy and looked a bit of a mess, all the other kids at school had pointed that out to him. But he was so happy with the cornrows, and as far as I am concerned he looked ten times smarter.

“He actually wanted to go to school on Monday. It is a very common haircut.”

Yes, it denotes the child as coming from a very common family.

“And then I go on the school website, and their (sic) is a girl with the same hair cut, of course hers is longer, it looks like it probably has extensions in, surely that is just as bad?”

Well, have you taken this up with the school, ot just rushed to whine in the local paper?

It's the latter, isn't it?

A spokesman for the school said: “The Academy’s uniform policy states that the following in respect to hairstyles: ‘Extremes of hairstyle are not permitted’ ...

‘With regard to the interpretation of these rules the Academy’s decision is final’.

“The Academy deems that the particular hairstyle, as worn by the male pupil in question, is ‘extreme’ and therefore sanctions were issued in line with the Academy’s policy.

“All reasonable efforts were made to contact the parent and explain the position but she has taken the decision not to send him to school.

"The parent was also offered the opportunity to write to the relevant Academy committee responsible for reviewing the uniform policy on an annual basis.

"To date, no correspondence has been received.”

Heh!

What Is It With Ears In Liverpool..?

It must have some significance....