Happy Families, Burnley Style...

A woman sank her teeth into her mother’s arm and “latched on” while she punched her mum about the head.

Blackburn magistrates heard Bethany Wallace only released her grip when her mum’s partner slapped her across the face.

I hear there's a technique you're supposed to use with fighting dogs, to get them to release.

But looking at the pictures, I suspect Bethany might consider that foreplay.

He had already been assaulted by Bethany’s brother, Bradley Wallace, and was then hit over the head with a walking stick by her.

His own? Or someone else's?

Phillip Turner, defending Bradley Wallace, said Mrs Wallace and her partner had been out and bought some takeaway food on their way home.

Mr Coughlan went into their house but Mrs Wallace went next door to invite their neighbour round.

“Bradley had been invited by his mum to join them,” said Mr Turner.

“Mr Coughlan told him he wasn’t allowed in and an argument started. Bethany arrived and joined in and then Mrs Wallace became involved.”

He said Bradley Wallace accepted he punched Mr Coughlan because he thought he had assaulted his sister.

So very different from the home life of our own dear Queen, eh, reader?