There's A Time Limit On Pathetic Excuses? Who Knew?

Mark Heffernan, 41, was parked in Pitchcroft car park near Worcester Police Station after a night out and told officers he was sleeping to avoid driving home drunk.

The former army serviceman, who now delivers palliative care equipment and medication to relieve the suffering of terminal patients, was allowed to keep his licence when appearing before magistrates on Thursday.

He must have had an amazing story!

Mrs Sue Roberts, chair of the bench, said: “Exceptional hardship would be caused to the patients under your care if you were to lose your employment.”

Right. Because it's not like they could employ anyone else to do it?

Lesley Ashton, prosecuting, said the defendant was found in his car at 5.40am on March 30 by officers.

She said Heffernan initially refused to give his name and date of birth and claimed he was asleep, before providing a positive breath sample.

Hmmmm....

“He did not understand what the issue was. He was just ignorant of the law,” said Mr McQuian.

And that's no excuse, surely?

Mr McQuian said Heffernan visits his three daughters from a previous relationship in Teesside each weekend, with a driving ban meaning he would be unable to see them.

He can't take a train?

He said he also has a two-year-old child with his current partner, who he drives to his grandmother’s house each day, before work.

He can't take a cab?

Mr McQuian argued that his client, who has learning difficulties, had made good progress in getting a handle on his PTSD...

He's looking more and more like a liability, rather than a model employee!

Heffernan’s licence was endorsed with 10 points, already carrying three, and he was ordered to pay a total of £426 in fines and costs. Mrs Roberts added: “You cannot use the same excuse for another three years.”

Bet he's back in three years time using it!

Good lord, who knew all you needed to become a magistrate was to be a living brain donor?